Heart Stealers

by Patricia McLinn

  He’d been staring off to a patch of sky over the next rise. He glanced at her, then away, one shoulder lifting in a half-shrug.

  “Anyway –” The faintly self-mocking tone was back. “– I had to see what was making this thing fly and find out what was out the cockpit window. I was lucky there, too. The pilot wasn’t a drug runner and he didn’t have a heart attack when I popped up. Turns out he’d flown in World War II as a kid. Joe was an Australian, and he knew more about flying than any hundred pilots I’ve met since. And he showed me. He showed me.” Daniel shook his head in remembered wonderment. The gesture stood out starkly as his first completely unguarded moment since he’d started talking.

  “It was like... being given the sky, but not having to give up the earth. I never lived until I learned to fly.”

  A chill crossed Kendra’s shoulders.

  She could hear her mother’s soft, wistful voice, If he hadn’t loved flying more than me, he’d still be here.

  Just like her father, Daniel Delligatti would probably keep flying until he didn’t come back one day. But she wasn’t her mother. She would never let herself rely so much on a man, let him count so much in her life that she’d fall apart if he didn’t come back.

  Never.

  “He started showing me things right off, and I knew flying was what I was meant to do. By the time we got back to the local airport, I was ready to sell my soul to the devil if it meant I could fly.” His mouth quirked. “It wasn’t quite that bad – but I did have to toe the line – no flying if I didn’t have decent grades. Besides, math helped with navigation. And geography –”

  Kendra suddenly didn’t want to hear any more about his flying.

  “C’mon, let’s ride.” Without waiting for an answer, she tapped Rusty’s sides, and he responded immediately. As she’d known he would, Ghost lumbered along behind, trying to keep up with Rusty’s light canter.

  Daniel didn’t fall off.

  She wasn’t sure if she’d expected him to, but it wouldn’t have surprised her, either. The canter was not Ghost’s smoothest gait, unlike most horses. Ghost was steady-footed at a walk, like a truck with bad shock absorbers in a trot and the same thing but with a hair’s-breadth worth of speed added in a canter.

  She reined in Rusty for the last uphill.

  Daniel was no Grand Prix rider, but he wasn’t even holding the saddlehorn. His toughly muscled thighs had a firm grip around the horse and he’d lowered his torso near to Ghost’s neck, cutting the wind resistance.

  Ghost did an even better job of cutting that wind resistance by dropping back to a walk as soon as he’d caught up with Rusty.

  “Does this egg beater have a faster gear?”

  She tried to stifle a chuckle, only half succeeding. She should have known he’d want speed. “You mean forward or up and down?”

  He groaned. “I think I’ve had enough of the up and down. Okay, I’ve gone riding with you. Now it’s only fair – come flying with me. I guarantee you won’t be as sore as I’m going to be. There’s a little strip I found, and I can borrow a plane again –”

  “You’ve been flying? Here?” Her chuckle dried up.

  “This morning. Met a great guy out there. He had knee surgery so he can’t take his planes up and he’s feeling grounded. After we talked a while, he had me take him up. He says I’m welcome to fly them any time.” His eyes lightened with pleasure. “The air here is so crisp and dry, I really had a good feel for the machine. In Santa Estella the humidity made it like flying through Jell-O. We could go up tomorrow –”

  “No.”

  It was emphatic enough to halt his stream of enthusiasm. “Are you afraid of flying?”

  “No. I have no trouble flying. I’ve flown a lot.”

  The look he slanted at her resembled a doctor checking a diagnosis. “Jets?”

  “Yes,” she said defensively. “And smaller planes.”

  “Commuter flights,” he said in resignation.

  “Yes, commuter flights. They’re not exactly double decker jumbo jets with a full movie screen, you know.”

  “Well, that’s something.” He sighed, then grinned. “But all jets can do is go fast and faster. Now, in small planes – you and a passenger or two or three – you can see all the details of the earth, but you’re above it. Close enough to observe the constraints of the world, but not bound by them.”

  And now she understood, with a chill that sank into her bones.

  It wasn’t speed he craved, but freedom and danger.

  And no matter how much he said he wanted to stay, he’d keep chasing freedom by flying away, until someday, he would stop coming back. Whether because he didn’t want to come back or because he couldn’t – to a little boy like Matthew which reason wouldn’t make much difference.

  She slid from the saddle, and took Rusty’s reins.

  “We need to walk the horses. Cool them down.”

  “Okay. But how about flying? Maybe –”

  “No. I said no.”

  He studied her. “I can show you testimonials to my flying.” He held his hand up like a boy scout. “No stunts, I promise.”

  “No thanks. I don’t take unnecessary risks.” She spun on him, unable to stop the words. “And you shouldn’t. Not if you intend to be in Matthew’s life. I don’t want my son to have a father who doesn’t come back – no matter how noble the cause. I know how that feels.”

  Before he could answer, she walked ahead, putting space and two horses between them.

  Chapter Seven

  This time when the phone rang shortly after seven in the morning, Daniel wasn’t surprised to hear the voice at the other end.

  “Daniel? This is Robert. Your brother.”

  “Hello, Robert. Everything okay?”

  “Yes, if you mean with Mother and Father. But... Have you found your son?”

  On one level he wasn’t surprised, which was a little unsettling. “How do you know about that. Mother and Fa –”

  “Know nothing. Though I am certain they would be most interested in their grandchild, especially since I have failed them in that regard.”

  Daniel tucked away that last phrase and the vulnerability it might reveal for consideration later. He wasn’t going to be detoured now.

  “How do you know?” he ground out.

  “Between the circumstances of your determined search for a certain reporter named Kendra Jenner who had been on Santa Estella, recent inquiries about your bona fides all tracing back to Ms. Jenner and the fact that she had a son nine months after being on Santa Estella, it did not seem an unwarranted chasm to jump to reach such a conclusion. Do you know for certain that the child is yours?”

  “Yes.”

  “I see.”

  Did he? Daniel doubted it. Robert Delligatti had been born to stable, staid parents. Even if his childhood had included extensive periods living in far corners of the world, he had always known where he came from, who his parents were, that they loved each other, and that they loved him. He’d had a family.

  Daniel hadn’t had any of that for the first seven years of his life. Matthew hadn’t had the full package, either. Not for his first two years. But he was going to. No matter what Daniel had to do to make sure of it.

  “Do you love her?”

  Robert’s question was so unexpected the only sound that came out of Daniel’s throat was a strangled grunt.

  “The mother I meant,” Robert added.

  “I know who you meant. I just don’t know what business it is of yours or anybody else’s”

  “I can understand your viewpoint, Daniel. And in consideration of it, I won’t pursue that line of inquiry, which would have proceeded to Does she love you? No – don’t answer.” Daniel had had no intention of answering, even if he’d had any hope of knowing the answer. “However, it is an important question because it could have great impact on certain other considerations.”

  “Considerations?”

  “I’m presuming that you want to be invo
lved in the child’s rearing and to be a presence in his life?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought you would,” Robert said inexplicably. “So, how the mother views you is germane to the scope of your involvement.”

  “Kendra won’t keep me from Matthew. She grew up without a father – he was a pilot. Air Force. MIA for a while before they found his crash site – and she won’t do that to her son.”

  “That’s her feeling now, and perhaps that will remain her feeling. But people’s attitudes often undergo a transformation if their lives change drastically. Can you be certain of this attitude enduring if, for instance, she married another man who wanted to adopt Matthew?”

  Daniel spit out a curse.

  I don’t want my son to have a father who doesn’t come back – no matter how noble the cause. I know how that feels.

  He’d tried to get her to talk about that, and she’d shut him off. She’d announced she had work to do, thanked him for lunch, reminded him of his scheduled stint at the babysitting co-op the next day, and exited his car practically before he’d come to a stop outside her back door.

  Could that be what she’d meant – she was looking for another man to be Matthew’s father?

  But nothing she did would ever change that he was Matthew’s father. Nothing.

  Robert continued, his voice unruffled. “I have never met Ms. Jenner, so none of my observations are personal in any way. It is based on observation and my recent review of statistics from a study on family units ten years after the birth of a child out of wedlock. The study highlights an appalling number of fathers who do not attempt to remain in their children’s lives. However, an ancillary conclusion that I have drawn from the statistics is that a father who is interested in maintaining a role in his children’s lives should give careful consideration to safeguarding his legal rights.”

  “Legal rights?” Daniel repeated, even as he recognized that Robert’s language became stiffer and more formal when he discussed a topic most people would consider emotional. Come to think of it, so did Robert Senior’s.

  “Indeed. Perhaps most important is that you be listed as the father on the birth certificate.”

  “I’m Matthew’s father,” he rasped out. “There’s no question.”

  “Perhaps not between you and his mother, but the legal system can take an entirely different view.”

  “I’ve got to go, Robert. Somebody’s at the door,” he lied.

  “Very well. If I can be of any assistance be assured –”

  “Yeah. Thanks. Goodbye.”

  He’d hung up before he heard the answering farewell. Robert Delligatti Junior had given him some things to think about.

  * * *

  How long had their frenzy last? How long had they laid like this, still joined? Half discarded clothes wrapped into uncomfortable wads that neither of them moved to shift. She didn’t know how long. She didn’t care. She considered it only in an unfocused wonder.

  Then he shifted against her, inside her, and her wonder focused anew.

  This time was slower – at first – with moments allowed to remove the last of the clothing that had kept them from touching fully. She clung to him, holding on as tightly as she had held on to her balance against the storm as it tried to sweep her away.

  But this time she didn’t fight the force that swept her away.

  She heard the storm but it hardly seemed real.

  Only he seemed real. Only...

  “Daniel...”

  Her own voice pulled Kendra out of the dream, yet not quite awake.

  She blinked away the lingering images and saw the paint lines in the white ceiling. So different from their dingy refuge from the hurricane.

  Turning on her side she considered her dresser. Early morning light softened the nicks and scratches, as if she saw her familiar room through a veil of chiffon. A huge, soft chiffon scarf drifting down across her naked body, covering her and Daniel –

  Even as a shiver rippled across her skin, Kendra jerked her mind away from the image and into reality.

  It was simply a hangover from the dream. It had happened before he arrived in Far Hills. There was no significance that it had happened now.

  Especially not now.

  Now that they’d started to work out the logistics of daily life to her satisfaction. She saw no reason not to take advantage of Daniel’s presence in Far Hills to free up more of her time to work on the special section. He’d said he wanted to be involved in Matthew’s life. He’d said he didn’t mind filling in for her shifts at the babysitting co-op. So why shouldn’t she let him? Especially since it was in the midst of all the other kids and adults at the co-op. Daniel wouldn’t be anyone special to Matthew.

  She wasn’t avoiding Daniel – no matter what Ellyn said.

  It simply worked out better that he was with Matthew while she was working.

  So for the past two weeks she’d seen him mostly in passing, when she dropped off Matthew and picked him up at the co-op.

  The times they had overlapped, she’d observed what Ellyn and Fran never tired of telling her – how much more comfortable he was becoming with Matthew.

  “If he’d relax a little more, he could be a natural,” the usually down-to-earth Fran raved.

  That was going a bit far, to Kendra’s mind. But she would acknowledge Matthew had taken to him, even mastering a version of Dan’l in his first recognition that Luke was not a synonym for man.

  She remembered her own first awkward hours, days and weeks trying to cope with the terror of having absolute responsibility for every need and wish of this scrap of humanity whom she loved more than she’d thought possible.

  It should have been that hard for Daniel.

  She rolled onto her other side.

  Not that she didn’t want him to be comfortable with Matthew. But he was the one who’d said he didn’t know how. Who’d brought up that he’d had no parents until the Delligattis adopted him, and that they were older and set in their ways.

  One day when they’d stood in the church basement watching Matthew play with another little boy, she’d tried to find out more about his relationship with the Delligattis.

  “How about your parents? Do you get along with them now?”

  He’d frowned, but answered readily enough. “Yeah, I get along with them.”

  “See them much?”

  “They’re retired, living in Florida. I see them when I can.”

  “Do you love them?”

  “They’ve been very good to me,” he’d said stiffly.

  “But you’re not willing to say you love them?”

  “What’s this about, Kendra?”

  “I’m trying to get a feel for your relationships with your family. I think that could be important for Matthew – for how you deal with Matthew, don’t you?”

  “Are you complaining about how I deal with Matthew?”

  “No, but your parents are the only grandparents Matthew has – it’s natural for me to wonder about your relationship with them.”

  “I suppose,” he granted, but then he’d changed the subject.

  And she’d let him. Because her mention of his parents as grandparents to Matthew had reminded her that the sort of Norman Rockwell image those words conjured up would never happen.

  Daniel was a pilot, a pilot with a government job with an unnamed agency that took him far away for unpredictable stretches of time – when he wasn’t spending years at a time masquerading as a masked crusader and various supporting characters.

  Once he left Far Hills and returned to his “regular’ job, he would drop out of their lives. Oh, she supposed that for a while, there’d be occasional visits, probably cards and calls. But over time – long or short – he’d fade away from their landscape. As so many men her mother had hoped would be her next great love had done.

  The chance of the Delligattis ever entering the small orbit of the life she and Matthew lived here in Far Hills, especially long enough to function like
grandparents, was slim.

  She simply had to get through these months while Daniel played at being father. She had to protect Matthew from getting overly attached and she had to keep her own head on straight. Then, eventually, everything would return to normal.

  Normal. Just like today.

  Time to get up. Time to get Matthew ready for another day. Time to get ready for work herself, then drive them into town – Matthew to the co-op and her to the Banner.

  Time.

  She swung her legs out of bed and sat up.

  Only in the shower, scrubbing a body that seemed to tingle from caresses that occurred only in her dream – or maybe her memory – did she realize that this time the dream had not ended with her turning around to find Paulo gone, then shouting his name into an echoing silence.

  This time the dream had ended while they were still wrapped in the fragile safety of their shelter and each other, as she’d whispered Daniel.

  * * *

  It was that kind of day.

  First, she’d risked dressing Matthew before feeding him breakfast. Naturally, he had a particularly far-flung meal, requiring a complete change of clothes.

  Then she decided she had time for a final sip of her nearly cold coffee – and spilled it down the front of her navy slacks.

  She changed into a red skirt in record speed, but had to put on stockings now instead of socks, and switch from her navy loafers to black flats. Then she exchanged the baby blue blouse she’d started in for a white blouse, which was when she noticed a run in her stockings. So they were running late.

  She dropped Matthew off at the co-op with barely a wave to Fran Sinclair and a kiss to the top of her son’s dark head.

  Daniel looked up from building a mountain out of blocks with some of the kids, but she pretended not to notice him.

  After this morning’s dream it seemed safer.

  Not until she arrived at her desk at the Banner did she realize she had the tote with the boxes of animal crackers for her share of the day’s snacks and not the tote with her notes for the special section.