The Scarab

by Rhine, Scott

  I quickly decided on Children’s Hospital, having spent a lot of time there.

  “The biggest tragedy in this is that you aren’t getting a dime yet. I’m curious, Mr. Hayes. If you could get anything out of this, anything at all, what would that be?”

  He caught me off guard. It was nearly eleven, and all I’d wanted up till now was to stay out of jail and be able to get to work on time tomorrow morning.

  “Think big,” he said.

  My eyes must’ve glassed over, and I swallowed hard.

  “Debt free.”

  “I said BIG, Mr. Hayes. You could skip out on this debt at any time. They can’t touch you if you leave the state. Furthermore, they don’t have records preceding the last two years. It’s simplicity itself to convince them your father’s life insurance covered your mother’s bills. Without proof, they have to expunge your credit history, like a newborn baby’s.”

  “Nobody ever told me...”

  “Please, Mr. H,” said Foxworthy. “You have your trade secrets, I have mine. If everyone knew this, nobody would pay their bills, and then the loophole would vanish. I think you’ve done your penance already. What do you want? Three wishes.”

  I stared at the muddy, circular stain around the base of the coffee pot. I thought of the time I had spent off the coast of the Carolinas with my Mom, on the last vacation we had together.

  “My own piece of land on one of the islands, just an acre or two that the tax man can’t take away. If I have anything left after that, we’ll talk. Do you really think the decloaker box will make that much? I mean in another year or two, folks will invent a whole new batch of ways to get around the system.” I’ve never had money before, and I wanted to make dead sure before I got my hopes up.

  “Mr. H, you’re too modest. These tricks are obvious to you, but not to the builders and maintainers of our nation’s satellite monitoring system. Information nearly always carries an expiration date for usability; the buyer expects it, and agrees to the price accordingly. You, however, possess the insight to generate more information on a yearly basis. That is rare. Some day, properly managed, you could live quite comfortably.”

  He folded up his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose where the grips pinched. We were both getting tired. “Meanwhile, I want to keep you safe till this matter is concluded. I don’t trust what’s in your head to the goons in there. You’re staying at the Radisson downtown for the next few days. My firm has a copyright infringement case about half an hour away from here. I’ll volunteer to oversee it, and I can keep an eye on you while we’re waiting on a few things from my research team.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  “Otherwise, I doubt I could keep you out of someone’s basement interrogation cell.”

  “But my job,” I explained.

  “Is now making yourself rich. Your boss Sam has already gotten rich off you. He’ll manage. As for your apartment, bills won’t come till the end of the month, and that’s all you get for mail. What do you say?”

  “I love you. Am I paying you enough?”

  We both laughed on the way out to his limousine, which was probably already bugged.

  Chapter 4 – Spending Everything

  Mr. Foxworthy’s “day” turned into nearly a week of work for his assistants. I had run out of things to read and parts of the hotel to explore. The wish list I made was embarrassingly brief. All the big things seemed ridiculous and fit me like a diamond in a pig’s ear. I kept waiting for one of the hotel managers to come out to the pool and shout, “Get back to work!” After the euphoria wore off, I felt like a prisoner in the hotel, and I was getting impatient. I even rediscovered the joys of solitaire with real cards. The computer version defeats part of the purpose, which is to burn as much time as possible.

  I got to go shopping once, for dress clothes. Foxworthy wanted to buy me a go-to-court outfit, and we compromised. It didn’t have a tie, but the shirt was hand-made from imported Egyptian linen.

  On the third day of waiting, my attorney showed up in a new, Italian suit, and slapped a sheaf of papers down on the round, metal table in front of me.

  “Sign these and we can get down to business.”

  Now, I was trusting him with my life, finances and future but that didn’t mean I was completely complaisant. I pulled out the third document in the stack and scanned it. “Ten acres?”

  “Look, I’m sorry. You haven’t made any of the important deals yet, and this is all I could get with that tax stipulation you made. Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy property on the smaller Hawaiian islands?” asked Foxworthy, looking sincerely apologetic. “On the bright side, the local microwave uplink to the mainland already has a security setting on it. Most of the owners on the island are very wealthy and only broadcast over scrambled channels. Some of your neighbors are from the Marcos clan and are afraid of kidnapping or retaliation from the Philippines.”

  “Hawaii?”

  “You said property in the islands. It’s only a shack, just a two-bedroom bungalow. I got it off an old fishing buddy,” he said.

  I signed.

  I must have had a strange, cock-eyed smile on my face, because he asked “Is that alright? We can always upgrade later.”

  “No, no. Fine. I was just wondering how to forward my mail.” I signed the next page, wondering what Mare would think of visiting me at my Pacific vacation cottage.

  “What’s this one? I’m now head of research for DeClerk Enterprises?” I asked.

  “You’re also chief stock holder. I’m only selling 39 percent. I keep 10 percent, and give you the other 51. When you’re dealing with government contracts, you have to have a big corporation with lots of red tape,” he said, as if he found an egg made of gold every day.

  “Contract?” I hated talking in one-word sentences, but it kept me from sounding totally ignorant.

  “For the Patrol. You need a plant to produce the little black boxes for the police cars. The Feds are requiring you to put the detection scheme in a tamper-proof case and to not explain the mechanism to anybody. This way, only you know how decloaking works, and you’re shielded behind a dummy corporation. You can sell a new, encrypted update CD every year to keep royalties pouring in. I would have called it ‘decloak’ Enterprises as you suggested but Paramount pictures has already trademarked the word.” Foxworthy sighed.

  I kept looking for the cloudy lining in all this silver I was getting. “How much will this cost me?”

  “Not a thing. That’s where the stock comes in. We can make a little selling to the police nationwide (not to foreign powers, though, strictly verboten). But that’s just play money. The real bucks start coming in with your contract with the FAA, that’s when we finally break the six digit ceiling.”

  I was just on the fourth signature, and already he was talking six figures. My questions were getting shorter. “FAA?”

  “The ground-traffic controllers aren’t the only ones with problems like this. No, sir. It’s been a big headache to the aeronautics fellows for a long time. You don’t have to solve it yourself, just write up a research proposal, and we’ll hire a few starving graduate students to do the grunt work. Of course, that won’t show black ink for at least a year, so I’ve financed your bungalow and shopping trip with more immediate means.”

  I wanted to ask him what he meant by “shopping,” but I ran out of syllables. I just nodded enthusiastically and kept signing.

  “That document authorizes me to exercise your father’s stock options in Exotech, the ones you inherited when he died. It was quite lax of them not to inform you, and they wouldn’t have admitted it at all if I hadn’t read through you mother’s lock box. She kept very meticulous records.”

  I reminisced for a minute, silently. When she got fired, I remember how stringently she adhered to the family budget, as if it were an alchemist’s formula to ward off evil spirits.

  “It seems that for three years, your father received an average of 1000 options a year in lieu of a ra
ise in salary. Exotech was just a baby then, free with its equity. Those shares can be exercised by him or his survivors at the price of ten dollar a share, and sold at a fair-market price of 167.50, as of the close of trading yesterday. Minus incidental fees, and the few shares you’ll want so you can vote at the meetings, that comes to a handy $500,000. A large chunk of that went for the down-payment on the island, which is non-refundable, by the way.

  “Then there’s the matter of your father’s life insurance policy, another $200,000 once we get him declared legally dead. Your mother started the paperwork, but he had to be missing eight years first. Since a claim was not filed while he was still an employee paying premiums, the insurance company will probably resist. If we settle out-of-court for half, you can get another hundred and change.”

  I signed frantically. Never had my John Hancock meant so much to me. Every time I moved my pen, out came money. I’d never had more than $100 in my pocket at any time in my life. My current savings for a rainy day amounted to $83.02.

  “The Silver Certificate dollars your mother had in the bottom of the box weren’t worth much, so I had them framed for you as a souvenir. What I found in the bottom was far more interesting—her diary. It seems that Exotech cut a few corners in their government contracts back then. Your mother complained about and documented several abuses of the system. In truth, it was probably one of the main reasons she got fired when she did.

  “Now I’m not certain that they’ve done anything illegal that we can prove, or if the statute of limitations has run out, but they have behaved unethically and in poor faith with the United States government. I have several friends in Washington who would be very interested in seeing these. She names names and gives specific dollar figures. By Jove, she even put down the contract numbers. These diaries could start a grand jury investigation for fraud, and bribery. You’d gain the gratitude of the FBI, but the enmity of Exotech and a few corrupt politicians. If we sold them to Exotech, you could easily get another hundred thousand. They’d spend ten times that defending the allegations and providing information for Congress. The choice is up to you.” Foxworthy wore a poker face so he wouldn’t influence me, but I had already decided.

  I described in graphic detail what I wanted to metaphorically inflict on Exotech. Mr. Foxworthy winced visibly. “That company screwed me and my family for a decade. I don’t care what it costs, I want to see them in a little pain. Maybe they’ll think twice the next time. If that makes me a bad business man, I’m sorry.”

  “No, Mr. Hayes, I was just reacting to the imagery. Contrary to what you believe, the lawyer isn’t an instrument of raping. Most lawyers operate in a civilized fashion, not just dancing on the boundaries of the Law. Your ethics are yours to decide, but try to conduct yourself as a gentleman at all times.”

  He leaned close, as a father confiding advice to a child about to get married. “Your mind is your greatest asset, Ethan, and it is destined to take you to great places. I’m proud to get you started on that dream. But intellect alone won’t keep you in the high places. Always act with propriety and common sense, no matter what the money says. Character will determine how long you last in this game.”

  “Yes, sir. Just for telling me that, I should make you my lawyer permanently. I’ve already reached overload on the Christmas presents you’ve shown me today. I only have one more question—what shopping?”

  Mr. Foxworthy stopped paper-shuffling and said “The bottom line is that once we declare this liquid capitol, both Exotech and the Credit Recovery Agency will be all over you like white on bread. The bad news is until we can get your residence changed permanently and pull a few strings, that money, and anything you buy with it can be seized. I won’t bore you with the technicalities of setting up the trust Mr. H, but if you want to avoid tax difficulties and prevent your enemies from profiting unduly, you must spend your entire account balance of $185,000 (give or take) on ephemeral goods within the week.”

  I wrinkle my forehead. This one didn’t even rate a syllable.

  He licked his lips, and looked thoughtful for a moment, rather like William F. Buckley. “That is to say, you must spend everything on goods you can’t claim and cannot be legally seized. As long as you spend money in the name of the corporation and have nothing other than a modest salary to show for it, you keep everything.”

  Since I came up empty-handed after three days on his first big question, and had said less today than ever, the speed of my reply must have stunned him. It took me five seconds.

  “The top-of-the-line Sansui live-station computer interface (model INF-3000) with a private node on the supernet and a terabyte of memory, leased for seventy-five Gs for five years. If you bribe the sales guy, you get it for less.”

  Foxworthy recovered admirably and started writing.

  “An Ameritrans unlimited fare card for the next year, good for plane and trains, another ten Gs. I’ll need it to get around since I don’t have a license or insurance. Make it economy class, because I itch when I see ties. No offense.”

  “A lifetime membership to the American Youth Hostels, for about $35.50.”

  “An honorary Master’s degree from that Oxford diploma mill that works out of Germany for $250.”

  “My own pop machine, and ...” I paused. “It’s silly.”

  Mr. Foxworthy stopped writing, and looked at me over his bifocals. I felt like I was being grilled by my high school biology teacher. “You have appropriately $100,000 left. Your task is only half completed. Don’t hold back now, for your own sake.”

  In a small voice, dating back to fourth grade, I said, “I want to enter my latest design at the SimCon GEV design convention this December. A hundred grand would just about cover my entry fee. If it doesn’t, I’m willing to sacrifice the pop machine and those other things.”

  Foxworthy rubbed his chin on that one. If I could have just one wish, entering SimCon as a contestant would be it. He seemed to realize how important it was to me.

  “Does the design incorporate any of the principles included in your original black box?” he asked.

  “Oh, no sir. The ground-effect-vehicle led me to the tricks I catch with the black box, not the other way around. It’s safe to say that no one has anything like it today.”

  Then he grinned like his namesake. “You’ll have to sign a strict-silence agreement on the new quirks you find, as well as let the Annapolis division of the FCC approve the design, but I see no reason why the firm of DeClerk Enterprises can’t make it’s first venture into automotive design. The rest of your list will be cake. We’ll advance you a few thousand on your first month’s salary, on the proviso that you lease or consume everything you buy. Yes, I like it.”

  He closed up his brief case and straightened his tie before leaving. “I’ll have a few more things to sign and then you should catch a plane to Hawaii. The keys to your place are already downstairs in the limousine.”

  “But I have to go back to my apartment and Sam’s.”

  Foxworthy shook his head. “Too many questions might arise. Your new clothing is a dead give-away. My staff already packed all your things. Nothing is left at your apartment. There’s nothing at your office worth getting. One of the things you signed was a two-week notice at Sam’s garage, with terminal vacation and sick leave. It will work best if everyone is left wondering. We’ll spread a story about the witness protection program and police custody.”

  I walked to my room, sulking.

  In all honesty, I had only one bag of belongings in the hotel room with me, and aside from my books, it was all I was planning to bring. But it bothered me that my life for the past decade and a half was ending so casually, so perfunctorily. “I have to talk to Mare, dinner at a nice place to thank her. I’d like for her to come with me.”

  As if he had a say in the matter, Foxworthy agreed. “Oh, we sent her roses immediately after she was debriefed. No name because of the secrecy, but she has an idea. She’s an adroit woman.

  “My secretary
will put you on the overnight flight to Hawaii. You have about eight hours to accomplish your goals here.” The doors opened, and he walked off the stage like a Greek god at the end of a play. Yet another part of my existence had been decided for me. If it weren’t so amazing, I’d be angry.

  ****

  We never made it to the restaurant. Things went horribly wrong at Mary Ann’s apartment and I ended up riding to the airport alone a few hours early. Looking back, the roses were the first mistake. They put her on her guard, and she immediately expected bad news of some kind. Maybe she thought I was leaving forever. She kept pressing me for details, and I kept asking where she wanted to eat. When forced into a corner, I asked her to leave Massachusetts and move to Hawaii with me.

  Obviously, I hadn’t thought all this through yet. Mare loves her job, and the islands don’t have a burning need for interstate high-speed Hover Patrol officers. I knew I was beyond the realm where words could help me when I tried to calm her down. I got as far as “Mare...” before she blasted me for ten minutes about how demeaning it was to be referred to as an animal whose only purpose was breeding. Things got worse from there.

  Why is it that you can never have what you want and be happy at the same time? It must be another Heisenberg corollary.

  ****

  At the airport, as I was leaving Bayside, probably for the last time, Captain Jenkins met me at the gate and pulled me aside. I was scared stiff that Mary had called the guy crying, and now he was going to haul me back to jail for violating some indenturement law. “You won’t remember this, but two months ago my wife came in for a tune-up. You demanded she get a traction adjustment and a new air bag release valve,” he said in a low, conversational tone.

  “Oh, she probably had a Mitosa Wagon. I’ve seen a lot of those towed away as wrecks. The adjustment only took half an hour.”

  “Well, I thought you were a crook at the time, gouging her because she was a woman. She went in for a $50 problem and ended up paying over a thousand.”