by Meg Jolie
“Working on it,” Tristan told him.
Robert turned to me. “How’s school going for you, Britta?”
I nodded. “Good.” I was grateful for the interruption. It had provided me an immediate distraction from my tears. I didn’t feel the need to elaborate. He knew I got decent grades and I wasn’t in the mood to discuss coursework.
“Glad to hear it,” he said. “I’m almost done with the steaks. Can you stay for dinner?”
I hesitated, waiting for Tristan to jump in and say that I should. When he didn’t, I forced a smile. “Thanks, but I should probably head home. I don’t like to make Mom eat alone.” The truth was I’d planned on staying the whole evening. I’d assumed that’s what Tristan wanted to. Instead, he looked as relieved over the distraction as I felt. I had a feeling it was for an entirely different reason.
I just didn’t know what that reason was.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“Alright then, some other time,” Robert said. “Tell your mother ‘hello’. We’ll have to have the two of you over for dinner soon.”
With my manufactured smile still in place, I thanked him. I kept my eyes on his retreating back until it disappeared.
“Thanks for coming over,” Tristan said.
It felt like an odd, forced statement. So I responded with a similar one. “Thanks for inviting me.” I was immediately regretting my decision. I hardly saw Tristan, he had a free night, and I willingly just offered to go home.
If I hadn’t been so stubborn, I would’ve backtracked. But I didn’t because I wanted him to ask me to stay.
I gathered up my things slowly, hoping he’d ask me to change my mind. He didn’t. It didn’t take long for me to stuff my things back in my bag. But with the silence that had landed between us, it felt like it took forever.
Just as I was getting ready to go, Tristan finally spoke.
“Look,” he said. “I’ll try to finish up as early as I can on Friday. Maybe I can just pick you up at Krista’s and we can head to your house?”
“Sure,” I agreed. I hated how the offer had come out sounding like an obligation.
He walked me to the front door and Anna popped her head out of the kitchen. She was wearing a frilly red apron. Even after working all day, her make-up was impeccable. Mine never stayed so perfect. I wondered if she refreshed it throughout the day but I didn’t feel like asking right then.
“Britta! Are you sure you can’t stay?” she asked.
I glanced at Tristan. He shrugged. I realized maybe he wanted me out of there so I’d stop peppering him with questions.
“Thanks, but no,” I told her.
Her eyes darted between Tristan and me. She didn’t look particularly happy; she could probably tell something wasn’t right with us. Tristan was starting off down the hallway.
“We’ll see you soon?”
I nodded, “Yes, of course.”
She squeezed my shoulder and then zipped back into the kitchen.
“See you tomorrow,” Tristan said.
“Right,” I answered. But all I was thinking was…What the hell just happened here?
When he leaned in to kiss me, it landed somewhere closer to my cheek than my lips. I was pretty sure the fact that his parents were just around the corner, in the kitchen, had little to do with it.
*~*~*
“I think you should ask Jamie,” Willow said. She took a careful sip of her cappuccino. I’d purchased it for her. At first she’d refused the offer. When I’d reminded her that the money came from my dad and that I didn’t do a thing to earn it, she’d let me buy it.
Jamie happened to be at work. I was glad it was her afternoon at Tranquility because I had actually wanted to talk to Willow alone. I wanted to see if she could help me get some perspective on things.
“No,” I told her. “No way. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to be caught in the middle. I don’t blame her. This is exactly what she was afraid would happen.”
“I know,” Willow said. “But I just think maybe she could make sense of it. Because to be honest, it doesn’t make that much sense to me. I mean guys…” She rolled her eyes and made an irritated face. “They’re ridiculous. They don’t make sense. They are impossible to understand. But still, to be honest, I thought once Tristan had you, you’d have him wrapped around your finger.”
“I don’t want him wrapped around my finger. I just want him to be free tomorrow night,” I pouted. I knew I was pouting and yet, I couldn’t help myself.
“I hate to say it but this whole situation really surprises me.”
“Me too.” I leaned forward so my elbows were propped on the table. My vanilla hot chocolate was between them. I pulled my hands through my hair and groaned. “And I just realized it’s only going to get worse.”
“Why?” Willow demanded.
“Because golf starts in a few months.” Both Tristan and Jamie were on our school’s golf teams. “If he can’t make time for me now, how much worse is it going to be then?”
Corey had had a part-time job, too. And he’d been in football last fall. I’d been in volleyball. And yet, between our two busy schedules I saw more of him than I ever saw of Tristan. While I knew I absolutely should not be comparing Tristan to Corey, I couldn’t help myself. Corey was really my only other reference point. I’d dated before him. Dated. But I hadn’t really had any other long-term relationships. For some reason, it annoyed me to no end that Corey had been more willing to make time for me.
Our relationship had actually been good. He’d been a lot of fun. He’d treated me really well. Until what felt like all of a sudden, he just decided he wanted to move on. I really didn’t want to be thinking of Corey. He hadn’t sent me any more lava cakes. But he had been stopping to chat with me here and there in the hallways. And in World Literature, the one class we had together. It had never crossed over into flirting and I’d decided that I could handle having him as a friend. I mean, people broke up all the time. They got over it. They moved on. If they were lucky, they ended up not hating each other.
“What?” Willow demanded. She was giving me a suspicious look.
“Nothing,” I sighed. I mentally shoved away the unnecessary thoughts of my ex. “I’m just over-reacting. And I know I’m over-reacting.”
“But you can’t seem to help yourself?” she guessed.
I nodded. “You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if I had a class with him. Or lunch with him. But I don’t. I see him for a few minutes in the morning.” We had been riding to school together. Those twelve minutes were the only minutes of the week I could count on seeing him, other than Sunday afternoons. He rode with me in the morning while Jamie drove their car. But then he headed off to work after school and Jamie usually road home with me. Or he dropped her off at Tranquility on the days she worked.
That morning I had apologized for my behavior the night before. I knew I’d acted impulsively and immaturely. He’d apologized, too. Yet it hadn’t really changed anything. He still had plans and I still wouldn’t see him.
Willow popped up in her seat and her face brightened. A clear sign she’d just been struck with an idea. “Why don’t you go visit him on his breaks?”
I felt my anger heat up a notch. “I offered. He told me he didn’t like the idea of me showing up while he was working. He said it was unprofessional.”
Willow scrunched her face in confusion. “Even on his breaks?” Her tone implied that didn’t make sense at all. I agreed.
“Even on his breaks,” I echoed.
She seemed to deflate before my eyes as she slumped back in her seat. Her expression had changed to one of subtle concern. I didn’t want her to be concerned. I didn’t want her to have a reason to be concerned.
My hot chocolate suddenly felt as though it soured in my stomach.
“You know,” I said, more for my benefit than hers. “It’s probably nothing. He loves his job. I mean, he loves music. And his job involves music so he probably just really
enjoys working. It probably doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy being with me.”
“Right,” she said. She was nodding her agreement. “Because of course he loves being with you. Okay,” she said firmly. “This is what we’re going to do. Tomorrow night, I’ll borrow the car. I’ll pick you up so we can go to Krista’s. You should be out having some fun, with or without that boy of yours. Then he can pick you up as soon as he gets off work and you can go have some alone time.” She drug out the last two words. She managed to make them sound oddly provocative.
I laughed, despite myself. Then I said, “Time for a subject change. How are things going for you?” I was tempted to bring up the winter dance but I didn’t dare. The last I heard, she still didn’t have a date. I decided not to bring it up because if she had been asked by someone, I was sure she would’ve told me.
She shrugged. “I’m sure this sounds horrible but next fall cannot come fast enough for me. I cannot wait to get out of that house. On the bright side, I just realized that since we are so poor,” she rolled her eyes, “I should qualify for a good chunk of financial aid. I am looking forward to Florida for so many reasons. Next year, is going to be the start of the rest of my life. I can’t wait. You, me, Jamie and the Florida sunshine. What more could I want to look forward to? The next four years of our lives are going to be an absolute blast!”
I smiled in response because I couldn’t force any words to come. Suddenly, I had no idea what to think about next year. The insecure part of me was thinking that by then, Tristan might not be an issue at all.
16
Willow had managed to get the car. She’d offered to pick Jamie up as well. But as usual, she was off with Evan. Willow had been talking with me but she veered off to talk to Grant. I had a feeling she was hoping that he’d change his mind and take her to the dance. I didn’t want to be the one to tell her that I didn’t think that was going to happen. I’d seen him a few times with Jannessa. Even though she wasn’t at the party, I thought that maybe something was starting with the two of them. I felt bad for Willow, yet I hoped for Grant’s sake there was. The years of unrequited love had to suck. He deserved to find a girl that was into him.
I rarely drank as it was. I wasn’t at all in the mood for it right then. The music and the people were starting to get to me. I made my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I filled my glass and turned around to find that Corey had followed me in.
“Oh, hey,” I said. “I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Just got here,” he said. “How are you doing?”
“Good?” His question had sounded like it had a hidden meaning.
“I’m sorry about you and Tristan,” he said. He moved in a little closer so we were both resting against the counter, in front of the sink. He was so close our elbows were bumping. He’d been pretty good about not invading my personal space since he’d found out about Tristan and me. I decided maybe he hadn’t meant to stand so close so I took a tiny step away.
“Wait? What did you say?” I’d been momentarily distracted by his closeness.
“I said I’m sorry about you and Tristan.” He looked sincere. Odd considering I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Ooookay,” I said. I was already feeling on edge. I was anxious for Tristan to arrive so I could get out of there. I didn’t want him to show up and find me talking to Corey. Not that it was a big deal. But still. Things had been just a little too tense the past few days. I absolutely did not want to make them worse. I just wanted to get back to my house and spend some time with him.
Corey moved to block me. His eyes were scouring my face. He looked…concerned. “You look like you’re taking it pretty well.”
That stopped me from trying to get away. It froze me in place. Not only his words but the look on his face.
“I’m taking what well?” I demanded.
He cocked his head to the side. “Breaking up. Or was it your idea? Is that why you’re taking it well? Although, I have to say, considering he’s the one that’s had a crush on you for years, I was surprised that he’d moved on so fast.”
“Moved on?” Why did my voice sound so…foreign? “Tristan moved on?”
Corey blinked at me. In that split second, he looked as surprised as I felt. Then he started to step away. “You know what…never mind.” He turned and I grabbed him by the elbow.
“What are you talking about?” I demanded. He winced and I realized my nails were digging into his forearm. I slowly released him. “That’s not funny. You can’t just say stuff like that and get away with it,” I said. “I know you don’t like that I’m with Tristan now. But you can’t be spreading lies like that.”
“Hey,” Willow said as she appeared between us. “What’s going on?”
I wasn’t sure where she’d come from. Her brow was furrowed and her gaze swung between Corey and me.
“Hey, Willow,” Corey said. “I think maybe we just had a misunderstanding.”
“That didn’t seem like a misunderstanding,” I snapped. “That seemed like you trying to cause problems.”
He shook his head. “You know…maybe you just need to talk to Tristan. You didn’t break up?”
“Why would you think they broke up?” Willow demanded.
“You know what? I really don’t want to get into it. It’s not my place.”
He moved to leave and I grabbed him yet again.
“You don’t just get to walk away. What did you mean when you said Tristan had moved on? Why would you think that?”
Willow arched one neatly plucked eyebrow at him. “Corey?”
He threw his hands up. “Okay, fine. I saw Tristan with some girl tonight. When I was on my way here. They looked…cozy.”
“Cozy?” I asked. Then I shook my head. “It couldn’t have been Tristan. He’s working.”
“No,” Corey said. “He’s not. It was him. Unless he makes deliveries?” He had one eyebrow cocked because he knew for a fact that Tristan didn’t make deliveries.
Smart ass, I thought.
I wanted to argue. But suddenly, I didn’t dare. Corey seemed so sure.
As if he read my mind he said, “Britta, I’m sure. I know Tristan when I see him. Believe it or not, I do recognize him even when you aren’t attached to his side.”
“Where was this?” Willow demanded.
Corey gave generalized directions. I didn’t know exactly where he was talking about. I just knew the area.
“They went into an apartment together,” he told us.
I could feel Willow’s eyes burning into me. I was shaking my head. I was trying to think of a logical explanation. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine why he wouldn’t be at work. If he’d lied about that, that was bad enough. But if he was with a girl? Cozy with a girl? And heading into her apartment? What the hell did that mean?
“Britta?” Willow said quietly. I could hear the concern in her voice.
I finally snapped out of it and looked at Corey again. “You’re lying. There’s no way.”
He looked apologetic and for some reason, that annoyed me. “I’m not lying. I mean…if you want, I can show you the apartment.” He almost looked relieved at the idea. “I didn’t look around when I was there. I mean, why would I? I didn’t think much of it, just that it was crazy you two broke up already.”
“Get to the point,” Willow calmly interrupted.
“Okay,” Corey said. “If it’s Tristan, and I know it is, I bet his car is there.”
I slumped up against the counter as soon as those words were out of his mouth. The world had suddenly gone all fuzzy. My knees had turned to soggy noodles. I could feel my heart slamming in my chest and suddenly, even something as simple as breathing was difficult.
“Britta?” Corey said as he reached out to rub my arm. It was a gesture of consolation. And I didn’t want it. Because there was nothing to console me about. Right? I wanted it to be true but I just didn’t know anymore.
“He’s supposed to be at wo
rk,” I said. “He’s supposed to meet me here when he gets done.” He was working late. He’d said something about inventory. I was sure of it. Or was I? Suddenly, my thoughts were spinning out of control. Was he not at work? After making such a big deal about needing to be there? And if he wasn’t at work tonight, did that mean he really wasn’t there all those other nights either? And if he wasn’t there, did that mean all those other nights he was sneaking off to an apartment with a girl?
I shook my head. Those thoughts were absolutely ridiculous. There was no way. None.
“He’s working,” I said. My voice sounded far more confident than I felt.
“Until what time?” Corey demanded.
I shrugged. “What difference does it make?”
“I was just thinking if he’s got a while yet before he’s supposed to meet you, maybe he’s still there.”
“With some girl.” Saying the words out loud, it slammed into me like an emotional brick.
“Do you know who she was?” Willow demanded.
I narrowed my eyes at Corey. There was still a large part of me that didn’t believe this was happening. This couldn’t be happening. Because it was Tristan. And he wouldn’t do that kind of thing. I’d known him almost my whole life. He wouldn’t lie to me. He wouldn’t sneak off with some girl. One or the other was bad enough. The two together were a mixture that could only result in something explosively awful.
He lied to me.
That was almost worse than the realization that he’d gone into an apartment with someone.
Because if he was capable of lying, deceiving, what else was he capable of doing?
Corey shrugged. “I didn’t recognize her. Some short chick.” He hesitated. “Oh, but when she was under the streetlamp, it looked like she had pink streaks through her hair.”
If he’d thrown ice water over me, I wasn’t sure I could’ve been more shocked. Suddenly I was blinking back tears that wanted to gush down my face. He couldn’t have known about Jayde and I realized that what he said had to be true.
Even though there was no way it could be.