171 Troubled women: Author's interview with Tom Schmidt, February 1986.
172 Frustrating to Phil: Author's interview with J'Ann Forgue, February 1986. J'Ann stepped in: PKD 1970-71 notepad journal.
172 His mother, he requires J'Ann to live, turned bitter: PKD 1970-71 notepad journal.
172-173 Look, Dorothy: Journal entry in the form of a letter, PKD to "Cassie" (fictitious name), which PKD never (by his own statement therein) intended to send, December 15, 1970.
173 Like Jane, turned to fear: PKD 1970-71 notepad journal.
174-176 All quotations from holographic diary of Joseph Hudner as transcribed by author (Hudner's daughter, Lynne Cecil, kindly made the diary available).
176 Astute: Stanford University Hospital records as read aloud by Dr. Harry Bryan in an interview with the author, February 1986. People-oriented: Author's interview with Dr. Bryan.
176 Very dramatic, paranoid: Author's interview with Lynne Cecil, February 1986.
177 Guru: Paul Williams, Only Apparently Real (New York: Arbor House, 1986), p. 19.
178 Didn't consider himself old: Author's interview with Loren Cavit, February 1986.
178 Fantasized: Ibid.
179 Donna: Letter, PKD to Claudia Bush, July 14, 1974.
179 In bed for eight days: PKD essay, "The Evolution of a Vital Love," w. 1972, in PKD letter/essay collection, The Dark-Haired Girl (Willimantic, Conn.: Mark V. Zeising, 1988), p. 172. Taco stand experience: Exegesis 039 (1978). FBI or CIA: C. 6 of Anne Dick, Search for Philip K. Dick. All right: Author's interview with William Wolfson, February 1986.
180-182 All "Sheila" quotes are from the author's interview with an anonymous source, February 1986.
180 Militant blacks: Paul Williams, Only Apparently Real, pp. 37, 106.
181 Journal entry: PKD spiral notebook journal, 1971-72, in PKD Estate Archives.
182 Avram Davidson: Paul Williams, Only Apparently Real, p. 168.
182 Locks systematically damaged: Typed journal pages, probably AugustSeptember 1971, in PKD Estate Archives. Maybe Phil did it: Author's interview with Tom Schmidt, February 1986.
182-183 Police sergeant: PKD eleven-page typed journal sequence, October 30, 1972, in PKD Estate Archives.
183 Police report: Paul Williams, Only Apparently Real, p. 119.
184 Secret police: Letter, PKD to editor, June 7, 1973, published in The Alien Critic, August 1973.
184 Everything turned out to be true: Author's interview with Norman Spinrad, March 1986.
185 Most effective forms of sabotage: C. 6 of PKD novel A Scanner Darkly (1977).
185 Listening to Sticky Fingers: Tim Powers, "Some Random Memories of Philip K. Dick," in PKDS Newsletter #2, December 1983.
185-186 Confirmed someone after him: PKD spiral notebook journal, 1971-72.
186 Entropy, isolation- PKD spiral notebook journal, 1971-72.
186 When you lose someone you love: PKD spiral notebook journal, 1971-72.
Chapter 9: Contemplating Suicide In A Foreign Land
PKD works: The PKD letter/essay collection The Dark-Haired Girl (Willimantic, Conn.: Mark V. Zeising, 1988); Exegesis 003 (1978), 042 (1979).
PKD letters: To Edward Ferman, February 15, 1973; to Merry Lou Malone, March 7, 1973; to "Donna," March 9, 1972; to Center Point, March 9, 1972; to Terry and Carol Carr, March 9, 1972; to Willis McNelly, March 9, 1972; to Anne Dick, March 12, 1972; to Goran Bengtson, May 4, 1973, and December 7, 1973; to Patrice Duvic, May 2, 1973; to Laura Coehlo, September 28, 1973; to Meredith Agency, October 26, 1973; to Nancy and Isa, December 5, 1973.
Author's interviews: With Harry and Nita Busby, March 1986; with Tim Powers, March 1986; with K W. Jeter, May 1986; with Norman Spinrad, March 1986; with Harlan Ellison, March 1986; with Art Spiegelman, June 1986; with Doris Sauter, July 1986; with Laura Coehlo, September 1986.
Quotations:
188 Sum up thought: Letter, PKD to Bruce Gillespie, October 31, 1972.
188-189 Quotations from speech: PKD, "The Android and the Human," in Bruce Gillespie, ed., Philip K. Dick: Electric Shepherd (Melbourne, Australia: Nostrilla Press, 1975), pp. 53, 55-58.
189 Title-page description: PKD MS. page, quoted in Paul Williams's "Introduction" to PKD letter/essay collection The Dark-Haired Girl, p. ix. (This collection also contains "The Android and the Human," cited in the previous note.) Trying to find a center: Exegesis 048 (1979). So pretty: The Dark-Haired Girl, p. 32.
190 Horse dream: The Dark-Haired Girl, p. 29.
190 Masculine solar deities: Phrase used by PKD in his speech "The Android and the Human," in Gillespie, Electric Shepherd, p. 66. Andrea has left: The Dark-Haired Girl, p. 43.
190-192 Stay with Michael and Susan Walsh: All quotations are from the author's interview with Michael and Susan Walsh, April 1986.
192 Head in a good place: Letter, PKD to Ursula Le Guin, March 14, 1972.
192 Barely dial the last number, talk with counselor, method acting: Arthur Byron Cover, interviewer, "Vertex Interviews Philip K. Dick," Vertex, February 1974, p. 97.
192-193 More somber account, moving experience, self-destructive drive: Letter, PKD to Ray, March 30, 1972.
193-194 Problem here: Letter, PKD to Sue, April 5, 1972.
194-195 Rootless and scared: Tim Powers, "Some Random Notes on Valis and Philip K. Dick's Mystical Experiences," PKDS Newsletter #4, September 1984.
195 Lost-puppy quality: Author's interview with Merry Lou Malone, March 1986.
195 Basically happy: Author's interview with Mary Wilson, March 1986. Addicted to flattery: Author's interview with Linda Levy/Taylor, March 1986.
196 Books become more weird: PKD, The Dark-Haired Girl, pp. 60-61.
196-197 Courtship, breakup, and aftermath: Author's interview with Linda Levy/ Taylor, March 1986.
197 Seemed more withdrawn: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, July 21, 1986.
197-198 Light shone, entertaining, quarrel at Disneyland: Ibid.
198 Phil's joy: PKD, The Dark-Haired Girl, pp. 80-81.
198 Roller coaster: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, June 20, 1986. Went bonkers: Interview of Tessa Dick by J. B. Reynolds in PKD Newsletter # 13, February 1987. Mood swings, slept little: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, June 20, 1986.
198-199 When he could not convince by argument: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, July 21, 1986.
199 Violence: Linda Levy/Taylor, "A Letter to the Editor," in PKDS Newsletter #20, April 1989.
200 Nothing more reassuring: Letter, PKD to Roger Zelazny, December 1, 1972.
200 Trash elements: Letter, PKD to Stanislaw Lem, September 4, 1973.
200 Invent her: Letter, PKD to Thomas Disch, November 26, 1972.
201 Visit by Death: Letter, PKD to Patrice Duvic, February 14, 1973.
201-202 Children playing, diagnoses: PKD concluding "Author's Note" to novel A Scanner Darkly (1977).
202 SF gutterized: Author's interview with Lawrence Ashmead, June 1986. Scramble suit: C. 2 of Scanner.
202-203 During each marriage: Letter, PKD to Marcel Thaon, September 5, 1973.
203 One hemisphere of your brain: C. 13 of Scanner.
204 Assistance in war against drugs: Letter, PKD to Department of Justice, February 17, 1973 (dedication of the novel to Attorney General Richard Kleindienst was suggested by PKD in a subsequent letter to the Department of Justice, April 21, 1973).
204-205 Huge block of hash: C. 12 of Scanner.
205 Transmute those terrible days: Exegesis 050 (1977).
205 Hypertension: Letter, PKD to Nancy and Isa, April 8, 1973.
206 Why she married PKD, model father: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, July 21, 1986.
206 Postpartum. Letter, PKD to Dorothy Hudner: September 7, 1973.
207 Tendency to look down: Letter, PKD to Dorothy Hudner, September 10, 1973. Authentic reality: Letter, PKD to Marcel Thaon, September 5, 1973.
Chapter 10: Annus Mirabilis
PKD works: Exegesis 004 (1974-75), 005 (1975-76), 009 (1978), 015 (1978), 018 (19
78), 040 (1979), 041 (1979). 044 (1979); A Scanner Darkly (1977); Valis (1981); The Divine Invasion (1981); Radio Free Albemuth (1985).
PKD letters. Be aware that many letters written by PKD in 1974-76 were apparently included by him in the growing mass of Exegesis papers. I have, in the end notes for this chapter, noted all cases where copies of quoted letters are presently included in the Exegesis folders of the PKD Estate Archives. As so much of PKD's correspondence for 1974 provided useful information for this chapter, I shall not list unquoted source letters individually
Books and articles: D. S. Black, "Puttering About the Silver Screen," in PKDS Newsletter #11, May 1986.
209 Programmed to die: Exegesis 015 (1978). Civil disobedience: Letter, PKD to Dorothy Hudner, September 12, 1976, now part of Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
210 A mercy to him: Exegesis 018 (1978).
210 Prescription delivery and golden fish: Letter, PKD to Ursula Le Guin, September 23, 1974, now part of Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
210 Causes you to remember: Exegesis 083 (1980).
211 Combination of pentothal and golden fish: Exegesis 088 (1980). Remembered world of Acts: Exegesis 021 (1978).
211-212 Little boy and beggar: "Prologue" to PKD novel Radio Free Albemuth (w. 1976, p. 1985).
212 Flying-monster dreams: Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
212 Reptile hissing: Tessa Dick, excerpt from "The Search for Valis," in PKDS Newsletter #6, April 1985.
212 Experimenting, both hemispheres came on: Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
213-214 Mid-March visions: Letter, PKD to Louise Zimmerman, July 25, 1974, now in Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
214 First stage: Letter, PKD to Dorothy Hudner, September 15, 1976, now in Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
214-215 Three days in March: Single-page typed statement by PKD, dated March 21, 1975, in PKD Estate Archives.
215 Xerox missive: C. 7 of PKD novel Valis (1981).
215-216 Description of Xerox missive: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, July 21, 1986.
216 Believed him: Ibid. Good test score: Exegesis 018 (1978). I am a machine: Exegesis 088 (1980).
217 Interest in writing: Letter, William Sullivan, Director of FBI, to PKD, March 28, 1974.
217 Cooperated with oppressors: Exegesis 041 (1979). Excuse me: Exegesis 042 (1979).
218 Nick the prick: C. 14 of Radio Free Albemuth (1985). Both heard the music: Interview of Tessa Dick by J. B. Reynolds in PKD Newsletter # 13, February 1987.
218-219 Hot dog Eucharist: C. 12 of Valis (1981).
219 Experiences while asleep: Letter, PKD to Louise Zimmerman, July 25, 1974.
219 Information about the future: Letter, PKD to Peter Fitting, June 1974 (no specific date given), now in Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
219-220 Language fragments: Ibid.
220 Singed pages, forced to read, religious fanatics, hypnagogic voices: Exegesis 004 (1974-75) and 005 (1975-76). Three-eyed beings: C. 7 of Valis (1981).
220 Fat lost touch with reality: C 6 of Valis (1981). Telling his therapist: Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
221-222 Not the same person: Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
222 Putting affairs in order: Interview of PKD by Charles Platt in Dream Makers (New York: Berkley, 1980), p. 155. Dogshit Books: Letter, PKD to Lawrence Ashmead, May 7, 1974 (letter may never have been sent).
222 Blood-pressure test: C. 7 of Valis (1981).
223 Minor strokes: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, June 20, 1986.
223 More fun to be with: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, July 21, 1986.
224 In Cleveland: Interview of PKD by Tim Finney, May 1974 (tape of inteniew kindly pro'ided by Finney to the author). Golden rectangle vision: C. 27 of Radio Free Albemuth (1985)
224 Ultimate aesthetic sight: Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
224-225 Pmky's death: Letter, PKD to Claudia Bush, written in late 1974 but not dated, now in Exegesis 004 (1974-75).
225 "Strawberry Fields" and Chrissy Exegesis 050 (1977).
225 "Strawberry Fields" and random trash: Exegesis 001 (1980). Beam of pink light: Exegesis 090 (1981).
226 Great rationalist, talk on dreams: Author's interview with Thomas Disch, June 1986
227 Jean-Pierre Goran interview by D. S. Black, in "Puttering About the Silver Screen," in PKDS Newsletter #11, May 1986.
227 Negotiations with Faucher Author's interview with Hampton Faucher, June 1986.
228 Paranoia and religious belief: Paul Williams, Only Apparently Real (New York. Arbor House, 1986), pp. 155, 162-63.
228 Palm Tree Garden: Exegesis 090 (1981). Walked about like Dr. Abernathy: Letter, PKD to Dorothy Hudner, September 12, 1986, now in Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
228-229 Palm Tree Garden in Deus Irae: C 18 of novel written by PKD and Roger Zelazny, Deus Irae (1976): in the author's interview with Zelazny, August 1986, he confirmed that this passage was written by PKD alone.
229 Walking to post office: Tessa Dick, "Letter from Tessa," in PKDS Newsletter #4, September 1984.
229 Not an evil world: Undated single typed page by PKD found among 1975 correspondence in PKD Estate Archives.
230-231 PKD self-interview: Exegesis 044 (1979).
231 "Psychic" or "experiential" phenomena: Peter Gloor, Andre Olivier, Luis F. Quesney, et al., "The Role of the Limbic System in Experiential Phenomena of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy," Annals of Neurology, Vol. 12, No. 2 (August 1982).
231-232 Temporal lobe seizure symptoms: Harold 1. Kaplan and Benjamin J. Sadock, eds., Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry/IV, 4th ed. (Baltimore: Williams & Williams, 1980), p. 153. 1 am indebted to my friend William R. Dikel, M.D., for suggesting temporal lobe epilepsy as a plausible diagnosis.
232 To pass a spiritual judgment: William James, The Varieties of Religious Experience, quoted in Dom Cuthbert Butler, Western Mysticism (New York: Harper and Row, 1966), p. 146.
232 In no customary sense spiritualized: Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
232 Tessa's perspective: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, July 21, 1986.
233 Warning by John of the Cross: Quoted in Evelyn Underhill, Mysticism (New York: Meridian Books, 1958), p. 280.
233 Pascal's vision: Quoted in Emile Cailliet, Pascal: The Emergence of Genius (New York: Harper and Row, 1961), p. 131.
Chapter 11: As 2-3-74 Ripens Into Valis
Author's interviews: With Kleo Mini, February 1986; with Miriam Knight, February 1986; with Harlan Ellison, March 1986; with Norman Spinrad, March 1986; with Mark Hurst, June 1986; with Russell Galen, June 1986; with Roger Zelazny, August 1986.
235 Fucking dumb and dull: Letter, PKD to Claudia Bush, January 3, 1975.
235 Orthogonal tune: PKD essay, "Man, Android and Machine," in Peter Nicholls, ed., Science Fiction at Large (London: Gollancz, 1976), p. 207.
235 Orthogonal time as real time: Letter, PKD to Ursula Le Guin, March 5, 1975, now in Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
236 PKD on Ellison's story "The Deathbird": Letter, PKD to Norman Spinrad, February 8, 1973.
236 Still having mystical s isions: Letter, PKD to Thomas Disch, July 31, 1975.
237 A great peace now: Exegesis 005 (1975-76). Autographing a book: Tim Powers, "Some Random Memories of Philip K. Dick," in PKDS Newsletter #2, December 1983.
237 Dirty old man: Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
237-238 Tessa's view: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, June 20, 1986.
238 On being alone. Letter, PKD to Carol Carr, July 7, 1975. Venting anger: Exegesis 005 (1975-76).
239 PKD's religious beliefs: Author's interview with Doris Sauter, April 1986.
239 First struggle to breathe: Ibid.
240 Bonding to people in trouble: Ibid
240 Never oversee: From journal of Tim Powers, transcribed by the author during an interview with Powers in March 1986. Technically dead: C. 4 of PKD novel Valis (1981)
240 Tessa as Beth: Letter, Tessa Dick to author, July 21, 1986.
241 Sammy Davis, Jr 's glass eye, seen God too soon or too late: C. 4 of Valis (1981). Doris's visit: Author's interview with Doris Saute
r, April 1986.
241 Not roaming off: Letter, PKD to Linda, January 8, 1977.
242 PKD's two switches, swill: Author's interview with Doris Sauter, April 1986.
243 Arrival at hospital: From journal of Tim Powers, transcribed by the author during an inters iew with Powers in March 1986. Powers's visit: Tim Powers, "Some Random Memories of Philip K. Dick," in PKDS Newsletter #2, December 1983.
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