Pucker Up

by Seimas, Valerie

  You should bring bandages, yet you come with only kisses.

  She sang the chorus into the quiet, thinking of her lemon tree, of how true the lyrics were, for she yearned for it and everything it represented, the innocence and perseverance of young love.

  We can plant some better days,

  some thoughts that whisk our cares away.

  We can bury the misunderstanding,

  find some way to remove this branding.

  The last words held such new hope she could barely sing them. But this was the time for shedding disguises.

  We can forgive the moments of doubt,

  thread golden memories throughout.

  We can hold hands in the shade

  and wonder at the days we’ve made.

  Faith stopped to address the crowd. “No one’s singing along,” she said, thankful the emotion thick in her voice sounded like exasperation. “Oh, that’s right, no one knows the words. Hmmmm.”

  She walked the length of the stage, pretending to consider that. “I’m just going to have to bring some people out to help me sing it then. Ladies, you know the words, right?” She pointed offstage, and all the heads in the amphitheater turned.

  “I think we can handle it,” Charlie said, her voice booming loudly across the lawn as she entered with a beach ball. The crowd started to go wild, but it wasn’t until the rest of the girls followed – Tara with a skateboard, Angie wearing a cowboy hat, Maya and her signature sunglasses – that they seemed to understand that this was an Attitunes reunion.

  They continued on as if the crowd wasn’t going insane, singing the lyrics they’d been practicing for the last few days. Faith smiled at her girls and remembered why she started doing this in the first place.

  Her new song came to a close and they segued nicely into GSG (Golden State Girls), the very first Attitunes single. Introductions had never sounded so cliché or held quite so many memories. It was a wonder they could get through it without breaking into laughter. GSG became Life of the Party and then 477.

  When that song ended, the excitement in the amphitheater was deafening. Faith waited for the clapping to die down before even attempting to talk. “Tara, Charlie, Maya, Angie, and I’m Faith. Attitunes y’all!” She turned and smiled at the girls, knowing what came next and thankful they were there with her.

  “It’s been a while since we’ve been together on stage,” Faith said, her words causing the crowd to silence. “I still perform, unlike these gorgeous girls behind me, but I disappeared there for a few years as well. When people asked me what I was doing, I liked to say I was searching for my sound.” Faith gave a shrug and head bob she knew the crowd would love before adding, “Technically true, but you won’t believe the sound I found.”

  “We’re not getting any younger over here, Faith dear,” Charlie drawled to the crowd.

  “Let’s just tell them what we’ve been up to,” Tara piped in.

  “That’s what I’m trying to do.” Faith laughed. “You have a better way?”

  Maya laughed and raised the microphone to her lips. “The best way we know how.”

  “Hit it,” Angie directed to the band, who started to play a vaguely familiar tune only the keenest observer would have been able to place. “I kissed a girl, and I liked it,” she sang as a picture of her and her wife on their wedding day appeared behind them on a screen.

  “I kissed a boy, he’s a riot,” sang Tara. She’d married a comedian, and a picture of them on a comedy stage came on the backdrop.

  “I birthed a calf and I loved it.” The crowd cooed at Maya holding a bunch of baby farm animals.

  “I birthed twins, I’ve lived it.” Charlie emphasized hers with her regular dose of humor, and the crowd roared again.

  Faith took a deep breath and jumped right in, singing, “Well, I’m Andy fucking Peters, and I wrote it – All.”

  On the last word, the girls segued into singing the Magpie chorus, giving the crowd a moment to adjust to the bombshell Faith just dropped on them.

  All the pretty birds come out to play

  I find it hard to stay away

  Maggggg-piiiiiiiie, doncha lead me astray tonight.

  You find the good inside me like shiny treasures,

  catching glimpses of the brilliance I hide whenever

  company comes calling at my door.

  Faith’s words were barely recognizable above the ruckus of the crowd, but she sang them anyway, feeling a rush at finally singing an Andy Peters song without fear that something would happen. Finally living free.

  You smell the promise of success on my skin,

  lead me through a maze of mirrors akin,

  to self-discovery and I ask what for.

  Her eyes tracked offstage to a surprised Jackson, the magpie of her song – a song she’d never sang for him before, no matter how much he asked, cajoled, or teased her to. The girls joined her again.

  I can’t fly, I’m no blue jay

  I have no feathers to put on display

  Maggggg-piiiiiiiie, keep the world at bay tonight.

  Faith pointed at her lawyer, her manager, her best friend, and smiled, singing the new words she’d written just last night.

  It’s time I learn to break away

  fly free and long and faraway

  Maggggg-piiiiiiiie, no need to save me tonight.

  This bird’s taking flight.

  Secret identity successfully revealed. She’d never wanted to talk about who Andy Peters was, about why Andy Peters was, so she sang it out instead. They cycled through four of her most famous songs, and she sang her heart out even though she probably couldn’t have been heard over the ruckus of the crowd.

  “So, do we think we’ve gotten our ten dollars’ worth of surprises today?” Faith asked as she stopped to take a drink of water. The crowd went wild. “Well, I always love satisfied customers.”

  “I guess we’re good to go then,” Faith said, turning towards the band and motioning for them to clean it up.

  “I think you forgot something,” Maya said, quieting the booing of the crowd with a simple hand in the air.

  “New song, check. Attitunes, check. Andy Peters, check.” Faith ticked each point off on her fingers. “No, no, I think I got everything.”

  “Ahh, sweetie, you’re getting forgetful in your old age,” Angie said.

  “I am not,” Faith said. “I even made a list, and I covered everything on there. Tara, you got the list?”

  “Yeah, it’s right here,” Tara said. “I tapped it to the back of my skateboard so I wouldn’t lose it,” she said to the crowd, who laughed again as she showed it to them. They’d managed to maintain some of the spirit that had made Attitunes so popular. The music was good, but the humor and comradery was what had gotten them fans and what kept people coming back for more.

  “See, there it is. Check, check, check. I don’t see what I’m forgetting.”

  “Faith, darling, we all,” Charlie barked, including the crowd in her hand gesture, “have two words for you.”

  “Pucker UP!” they screamed, the force of the words thunderous. And then they started to sing as the video came up on the screen behind them.

  Angie took the first verse, like always.

  He thinks he might be the one, 'ole Prince Charming

  well, I’ve got to say, that’s pretty alarming

  since he’s never met a set of legs he didn’t like

  and his car is out cruising all hours of the night.

  “Pucker Up!” they all sang, jumping up into the air in unison.

  “Step on up, right here, right to the plate.” Charlie directed them to the spot where she stood.

  “Pucker Up!”

  “Time’s a wastin’ and it’s getting kinda late.” Faith pointed at her wrist as if a watch was there.

  “Pucker Up!”

  “Come on, faster, there’s no time to waste.” Tara rode her skateboard across the stage, beckoning everyone to follow.

  “Puh-Puh-Puh
-Puh-Puh-Puh-Pucker Up!” They all sang together, stuttering the last line as they huddled together on the stage.

  I believe in transformation, oh don’t get me wrong

  nothing ever stays the same and change is rolling strong.

  Maya sang, stepping out from the group and sliding her sunglasses down her nose to peer out at the crowd. Usually Faith would finish the verse, but they changed it up, Tara singing the next part.

  But thinking you’re a 180 leaves lots of room for doubt

  cause I’ve heard all the excuses and my foot is halfway out.

  She zoomed around Maya on the skateboard and almost crashed into her as the chorus repeated.

  “Pucker Up!” They turned their microphones to the audience and let them sing.

  “Step on up, right here, right to the plate.”

  “Pucker Up!”

  “Time’s a wastin’ and it’s getting kinda late.” Charlie waved for the crowd to roar louder.

  “Pucker Up!”

  “Come on, faster, there’s no time to waste.”

  The words came back to them completely recognizable. “Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Pucker Up!”

  Charlie started off the last verse, playing up to the crowd as she circled the stage.

  You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the Prince,

  there’s lots of ways this story goes, but that fact always is.

  It wasn’t her lines, not even her verse, but no one cared. Faith stepped forward, and finally let her eyes fall on Dustin. Butterflies sprung to life in her stomach, nerves still threatening to get the best of her.

  So come on baby if you want to take me for a spin

  we gotta know how this tale rolls, you gonna be all in?

  She winked at him and turned, falling back into formation with the girls.

  “Pucker Up!”

  They did a two-step and shifted to the left. “Step on up, right here, right to the plate.”

  “Pucker Up!”

  They went back the other way, letting their feet move right without looking. “Time’s a wastin’ and it’s getting kinda late.”

  “Pucker Up!”

  They increased the speed, half of them moving forward, half backwards. “Come on, faster, there’s no time to waste.”

  They danced in a square and ended up back in a line spread out all across the stage. “Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Pucker Up!”

  The crowd screamed as people stared streaming onto the stage. “Pucker Up!”

  “Let’s get that heart rate on the rise,” Tara sang, her husband running up behind her to give her a bear hug along with his kiss.

  “Pucker Up!”

  “Might be time to try you on for size,” Angie sang as her wife, Lara, danced her way over for her kiss.

  “Pucker Up!”

  “Eyes front, don’t forget to keep your eyes on the prize,” Charlie sang. A crew member threw her the beach ball, and she planted a kiss on it as the crowd laughed.

  “Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Pucker Up!”

  “Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Pucker Up!” Maya sang. Faith was surprised to see Peter come out on stage with a kitten to give her a peck on the cheek.

  She turned, knowing Dustin should have gotten the message by now. And there he was, jogging to center stage. “Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Pucker UP!” She barely got the words out before he pulled her towards him and planted a kiss not at all suitable for an audience. She hardly registered the hooting and hollering of the crowd.

  “What did you all think of that?” Faith screamed into her microphone when he let her go. “My husband cleans up good, no?”

  Dustin didn’t give her another moment – he hauled her up over his shoulder as she laughed. Faith handed her microphone to Maya as they passed her, and was carted offstage, a final wave at the crowd.

  “What was that all about?” Faith asked when he put her down.

  “I could be asking you the exact same question.”

  “Before I could be all in on us, I had to be all in on me.” She reached out towards him, smoothing the t-shirt against his chest so she wouldn’t be forced to meet his eyes. “And that’s who I am now, part Girl Next Door, part angsty Andy Peters.” When he didn’t say anything, she looked up. “Are you surprised?”

  “No. I already knew all that.”

  “What?”

  Dustin shrugged. “If it makes you feel any better, I was the last one in the house to know.”

  “The house?!” She shook her head in disbelief. “Frankly, I’m surprised you even know who Andy Peters is.”

  “Ranch Hand is my favorite song.”

  “That’s a good one.”

  “That’s a very good one.” He grinned. “So did you mean it?”

  “Mean what?”

  “Husband?” he said, his expression neutral.

  “Well, that’s what you are,” she replied, “unless you want to sign those divorce papers and be my boyfriend instead.”

  “You’re never getting my signature on any divorce papers. I’m planning on getting a high-priced lawyer to look at every single thing you hand me for the rest of our lives.”

  “Oh really?” She laughed. “And where are you planning on finding one of those?”

  “I’m just going to share yours,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against hers.

  Faith sighed, his nearness taking her breath away. “Well then, I guess we’re agreed. Husband it is.”

  “Husband it is,” he said with a wide grin, leaning in to kiss her.

  “I’m all in,” she whispered. “Don’t you have anything else to say?” she asked, turning her head to the side when he didn’t respond,

  “Just one thing,” he murmured against her skin. “Pucker up.”

  RomCon – A Not So Cinderella Tale

  Interested in Madison and Trevor’s love story? Be sure to go out and get RomCon today.

  Madison Duncan has an image problem – and she just fired her publicist. Dubbed the Ice Queen since the age of sixteen, none of those comic book fans like her cast as the iconic superhero Purple Purpose – especially when her hair is the wrong color. The fans judge her, tabloids gossip about her, and bloggers just love knocking her down. And even though she’s starred in some of the most beloved movies of the last decade, there doesn’t seem to be anything Madison can do about it. That is until a stray marriage proposal crosses her path. She definitely isn’t the white picket fence kind of girl but a husband for a year, to remind everyone she’s human, that might be exactly what she needs.

  Enter Trevor Clark. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into when he proposes to her on a dare but he couldn’t help himself. Yeah, okay, Madison is the Ice Queen. But peel back a few layers and she’s more than just a celebrity – intriguing, sexy as hell, and surprisingly not icy at all. Every time she says his name funny things happen to his heart – if only his wife wasn’t too scared to believe it. It’s not supposed to be permanent, his best friends keep telling him, marrying actresses never is, but he can’t help wondering what forever would be like. If only he can get his wife to fall in love with him.

  Buy on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009QNHSI4

  Royally Screwed – A Prince and a Damsel not at all in distress

  Kat doesn’t believe in happily-ever-afters – and she’s far too practical to believe in fairytales. Royalty may be on the guest list of the parties she works but Prince Charming never shows up. She’s definitely not the damsel in distress he’d be looking for either; she can take care of herself, her brother the emotional artist, and anyone else that comes along just fine.

  Sebastian, the Royal Rebel of Sezynia, doesn’t believe in love or commitment – he’s more into one-night stands. His greatest ambition in life is to be James Dean, not a king. But to prevent his conniving cousin from taking the throne, that’s exactly what he has to be. There’s just one small problem – Sebastian has to be married to do it. Not an easy feat for the guy who’s spent his life avoiding all sense
of responsibility.

  When Sebastian and Kat meet it's fate – the prince definitely needs a lesson in propriety. But Kat has doubts – princes and propositions were never part of her plan. Then again, where’s the harm in helping the flirty prince find a wife anyway?

  Buy on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00O4N58P6

  About the Author

  Eight Things to Know About the Author, Valerie Seimas

  - Has always wanted to be a writer (except that week in sixth grade when she thought she could be a veterinarian).

  - Collects frogs from around the world.

  - Thinks the world would be vastly improved with the invention of a sarcasm font.

  - Does have an evil twin who isn’t all that evil since he brings her all those frogs.

  - Adores television and would definitely save her DVR before the china or fichus in a fire.

  - Lives in the California Central Valley where she works in higher education.

  - Loves writing and sharing her stories with the masses.

  - Has previously published the novels RomCon and Royally Screwed – if you’re a fan of romantic comedies, you should definitely go pick them up!

  One Last Thing . . .

  If you’re reading on a Kindle, turning the page will give you the opportunity to share your thoughts on Facebook, Twitter or rate this title on Amazon. If you’ve enjoyed reading Pucker Up and believe others would to, please take a few minutes to share this with them.

  I hope you have enjoyed this book! Thanks for taking the time to read it. Have a great day!

  Valerie Seimas