Perfect Match

by Zoe May

  ‘Mmmm-hmmm… Delicious,’ Kate grins. ‘Extremely delicious!’

  ‘Divine!’ I add and we both crack up.

  Max shoots us an odd look as we carry the tubs over to the table.

  The intercom rings and Kate runs over to answer it.

  ‘Cassie’s here!’ she calls, buzzing Cassie up before running back to finish arranging the table.

  Daniel helps out, carrying a tub of stuffed vine leaves over. He probably thinks it’s depraved of us not to serve them on plates, but we’re already behind on the washing up and anyway, none of our friends will care.

  Cassie knocks a couple of times before wafting in through the front door, dressed head to toe in fuchsia pink. She’s teamed fuchsia harem trousers with a baggy knitted fuchsia pink top and a fuchsia clip in her hair.

  ‘Kate! You star!’ she says, sweeping Kate in her arms and congratulating her.

  Daniel and I exchange a look. Even I’m a bit overwhelmed by that outfit.

  Mike follows, carrying a few bottles of wine.

  ‘Congratulations, Kate,’ he says, kissing her shyly on the cheek as he hands her the booze.

  I present Cassie and Mike with glasses of Cristal, before they then turn their attention to Daniel.

  ‘So… You must be Sophia’s new man?’ Cassie says, looking a little stunned.

  ‘I am indeed!’ Daniel replies. ‘I’m Daniel, nice to meet you,’ he reaches out to take her hand, which is adorned with chunky silver rings, before saying hello to Mike.

  I leave them to get acquainted and sneak over to the mantelpiece, connecting my iPod to our speakers. I know Kate would want background music when having people round so I put on some hip-hop and R&B and head back to the group. Everyone’s still gushing over Kate’s news, except Cassie who’s waxing lyrical to Daniel about mercury being in retrograde while he nibbles on a stuffed vine leaf.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I ask quietly.

  He nods. ‘Yeah, great!’ he says, popping the rest of the stuffed vine leaf into his mouth.

  Eventually, the conversation moves away from The Mouse Trap and Cassie starts telling everyone about an equinox party she and Mike went to last weekend at a stone circle in a little town called Avebury. Her eyes sparkle as she talks about how ‘magical’, ‘special’ and ‘powerful’ an experience it was. I resist the urge to look over at Daniel, who I know will be smirking.

  Fortunately, the intercom interrupts her. Kate dashes over to answer it.

  ‘It’s Rich and Jack!’ she calls over excitedly.

  She opens the door and, already a little tipsy on Cristal, calls down the stairs. ‘Rich, my darling! Jack! Get up here!’

  ‘Sweetheart!’ Rich calls back, followed by the sound of his feet pounding the staircase, before he rushes up to Kate to embrace her.

  ‘Well done, my darling! Well done!’ he says breathlessly. ‘These are for you.’ He presents her with a giant bouquet of roses.

  Kate thanks him, hugs Jack and brings them into the fold.

  ‘Sophia!’ Rich gushes, pulling me into a boozy-smelling hug. He’s clearly already been down the pub for a few.

  ‘And helloooo, what do we have here?’ he says, eyeing Daniel up.

  Daniel laughs good-naturedly, but his entire body visibly stiffens.

  ‘This is my new boyfriend, Daniel!’ I tell him as I pour him and Jack a glass of Cristal.

  ‘Well aren’t you quite something!’ Rich drawls, salivating over Daniel, as I hand him a glass.

  Jack loudly clears his throat, reminding Rich of his existence.

  ‘Darling, you know I still love you!’ Rich says, giving Jack’s arm a squeeze. ‘But I mean look at him! You remind me of someone…’

  Rich furrows his brow, trying to recall. He takes a sip of Cristal.

  ‘Robert Pattinson?’ Daniel suggests, a little wearily.

  ‘Yes! That’s it! Jack, doesn’t he?’ Rich nudges Jack.

  ‘Yeah, you do actually,’ Jack grumbles.

  ‘It’s those eyes and the hair and the jawline and the…’ Rich looks Daniel up and down.

  ‘I think we’re all in agreement that he looks like Robert Pattinson,’ Jack tuts, taking a tight little swig of his drink.

  ‘Kate!’ Jack calls her over, deflecting the attention away from Daniel. ‘Show us your Mollie Ralston! Come on!’

  Suddenly, everyone falls silent and turns to look at Kate – a situation she naturally enjoys.

  ‘Shall I do my audition piece?’ she says.

  ‘Yeah, do it! We’ll all sit down, like a home theatre!’ Jack says, dragging Rich away from Daniel and towards the sofa.

  Our seating area isn’t exactly big enough to accommodate everyone, but we all huddle in, overflowing onto the armrests and cushions. I pull Daniel into the armchair with me.

  ‘Okay.’ Kate surveys her audience. ‘Not exactly the West End, but you’ll do.’

  She loudly clears her throat and closes her eyes, holding them shut for a few seconds. When she opens them, she’s Mollie Ralston. Her body language is completely different, sort of wound up and tight and she’s speaking in high-pitched, well-to-do English accent, which is completely different to her own. She looks a bit funny channelling the spirit of a 1950s neurotic hotelier while wearing black skinny jeans, but the transformation is still astounding. Even Daniel looks impressed and we all burst into an enthusiastic round of applause when she’s done.

  Kate does a little bow, blowing kisses into the ‘crowd’, before reaching for her glass of prosecco on the mantelpiece and taking a sip.

  ‘You were fantastic!’ Rich says and everyone enthusiastically agrees.

  ‘Oh, thank you!’ Kate replies bashfully.

  ‘I can’t wait to see the whole thing,’ Cassie adds.

  When the excitement dies down, Kate flops onto the sofa, squeezing in between Max and Rich.

  ‘So, Daniel,’ she pipes up. ‘I hear you live at the Shard!’

  Daniel smiles awkwardly. ‘Yes, that’s right.’

  ‘Whaaaaat?!’ Richard’s jaw drops to the floor. ‘You live at the Shard. Are you kidding?’

  ‘No, ‘fraid not,’ Daniel mutters. He smiles politely but from the hungry way he’s swigging at his beer, I can tell he’s feeling uncomfortable.

  ‘You must be, like, so…’ Rich trails off, realising it might be considered rude to speculate over Daniel’s wealth, but his eyes still bulge in awe.

  Rich subjects Daniel to a barrage of questions about life at the Shard, from the décor to the views, and from neighbours to security. Everyone’s enrapt as Daniel answers good-naturedly, but I can tell he’s not exactly loving being the token rich boy. I squeeze his leg encouragingly and he glances at me, with a mixture of tenderness and tension.

  Finally satisfied that he knows everything there is to know about living at the Shard, Rich sighs back into the sofa.

  ‘Wow! The Shard! Fuck me!’

  ‘I’m sure he’d rather not,’ Jack quips bitterly. Rich throws him a loving glare.

  Daniel places his empty beer can down on the coffee table.

  ‘Move,’ I wrench myself up from the sofa. ‘I’ll get you another drink.’

  ‘Thanks, Soph,’ he says.

  I head to the kitchen, grab a beer and then stop to pour myself a glass of wine, when Rich approaches.

  ‘You sly old minx,’ he jokes. ‘Where did you find that gem?’

  I tell him about the Dream Dates profile and Rich listens intently, hooked on my every word.

  ‘Well,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘Now I see why you’ve been single forever if you’ve been holding out for someone like that!’

  ‘I never actually wanted a multi-millionaire; it was all just a bit of a wind-up, but hey, I’m not complaining.’

  ‘Not complaining! You’re the luckiest girl in London, Soph!’

  I grin. ‘Pretty hot, isn’t he?!’

  ‘That’s the understatement of the century. He’s mind-blowingly hot,’ Rich goes on.

  I
look over Rich’s shoulder to see Jack giving him an unimpressed look.

  ‘Err… Rich, maybe tone it down a bit. I don’t think Jack is exactly loving your Daniel worship.’

  Rich bats the thought away. ‘Come on, it’s not every day I get to meet a Robert Pattinson lookalike.’

  ‘Ditto!’

  ‘You get to wake up to one,’ Rich groans, scooping a handful of peanuts from a bowl on the kitchen table and shoving them into his mouth. ‘God, I’m so jealous. Look what you’re making me do?’ he says, reaching for more.

  ‘Comfort eating,’ he sputters through a mouthful, making me giggle.

  We head back to the group and I hand Daniel his beer.

  ‘You ok?’ I ask as I snuggle up next to him.

  ‘Yeah.’ He leans forward and plants a kiss on my lips. I glance over at Rich who is watching enviously.

  I can’t help feeling just a little bit pleased with myself. After all the years of teasing I’ve endured from friends about my fussiness when it comes to men and my terrible luck in the dating game, here I am, finally with a man like Daniel. Ha!

  ‘It’s totally re-energised our sex life, hasn’t it, Mike?’ Cassie is saying, suddenly pulling my attention back to the conversation.

  Mike nods, smiling awkwardly. Cassie takes his hand between hers and pulls it onto her lap.

  ‘You really build up this intense spiritual and emotional connection as well. Not to mention the orgasms which are ahh-maaaa-zing!’

  ‘Oh, now you’re talking,’ Kate chimes in and everyone cranes a little closer to Cassie as she starts explaining all the different tantra techniques she and Mike have been practising.

  ‘It’s really just about breathing,’ Cassie insists. ‘Breathing and eye contact. Look!’

  She turns to face Mike, holds his hands and looks deeply into his eyes. ‘Kate, turn the music down.’

  Kate gets up and goes over to the mantelpiece to turn off my iPad, which is now playing Black Skinhead by Kanye West. Hardly the ideal accompaniment to a tantra demonstration.

  ‘How often do you just look into your partner’s eyes? Really look at each other, breathe together,’ she says, speaking a low, meditative voice as she holds Mike’s gaze.

  ‘It’s so simple, yet so real. So raw,’ Cassie says.

  I could swear she used the exact same words to describe her favourite smoothie brand just a few weeks ago. I’m half-expecting her to add, ‘so organic’.

  For a moment, we’re all silent simply watching Mike and Cassie breathe together until Jack starts to giggle. His laughter is infectious and within seconds, everyone, including Daniel, is cupping their hands over their mouths and trying not to laugh.

  ‘It’s not funny!’ Cassie cries, reluctantly tearing her gaze away from Mike.

  ‘It is quite funny,’ Max points out.

  ‘Urghh, no, it’s not. It’s really spiritual,’ Cassie insists, petulantly.

  ‘Sure.’ Max pulls a face.

  Cassie tuts and goes over to him.

  ‘Sit on the floor,’ she orders him, pulling him onto the ground next to her.

  ‘Kate! Sit!’ She says, pointing to the space on the carpet in front of Mike. Kate rolls her eyes and sits down.

  ‘Now hold hands and breeeaaaathe’ she says, stretching out the word as if it’s three syllables long as she places their hands together.

  Kate giggles.

  ‘And don’t laugh! Breeeaaaathe!’

  ‘Okay, I’ll breeeaathe,’ Kate echoes, her lips twitching. Cassie looks a little put out and a guilty expression passes over Kate’s face.

  ‘Okay, fine, I’m doing it!’ She takes a deep breath and tries to concentrate.

  Surprisingly, Max gets into it quicker than Kate and starts looking pretty zen, but it’s a while before Kate’s twitching lips settle down. When she does calm down and begins to roll with it, she and Max end up gazing lovingly and serenely into each other’s eyes. It’s actually quite sweet.

  ‘That’s better,’ Cassie says, before turning back to Mike and settling into back into their own tantric hand holding.

  ‘May as well give this a go,’ Rich trills, turning to Jack.

  I look at Daniel questioningly, but he looks completely bemused.

  ‘Well?’ I reach for his hands.

  ‘Errr, can we just… Talk for a minute, over…’ Daniel glances around the tiny flat, presumably looking for a quiet space, except it’s so small there’s nowhere to go.

  ‘Let’s go to my room,’ I suggest.

  ‘Oi-oi,’ Rich pipes up. ‘The tantra’s got Sophia in the mood.’

  ‘Shut up, Rich,’ I tease before heading into my room with Daniel.

  I brace myself as Daniel’s gaze roams around my bedroom. I feel a bit embarrassed by the messy stack of magazines on the floor, the scarves slung over the mirror leaning against the wall and my worn-looking floral duvet cover I got for a tenner, which when it was new, I swear looked like it was from Cath Kidston, but now seems a little worse for wear.

  ‘Cute,’ Daniel remarks. I wonder if he’ll notice my framed poem, but his eyes just pass right over it in the same blank disinterested way that they glide over the books on my desk, the notebooks and all the post-it notes dotted on the wall where I’m plotting out my novel. I can’t help feeling a little disappointed when he walks right past my desk and perches at the end of my bed, not remotely interested.

  ‘So, what’s up?’ I ask, sitting down next to him.

  ‘Babe, your friends!’ Daniel shakes his head with a dramatic eye roll.

  ‘What?’

  ‘They’re…’ he pauses, searching for the right word. ‘Eccentric,’ he lands upon, as if that’s the politest way he can possibly put it.

  ‘Yeah, they are, but eccentric’s better than boring, right?’

  ‘Well…’ Daniel raises an eyebrow.

  ‘Seriously? You don’t like them?’

  ‘It’s not that, Soph.’ He starts rubbing his temples. ‘It’s just that I’ve had a long day with work, and all the annoyance with the cabinet, and I’m just knackered. And now I’m getting a migraine,’ he says, kneading his temples a little bit more.

  ‘Oh…’ I look down to my lap.

  ‘Yeah, so I think I’m going to head home,’ he says. ‘Before a full-on orgy kicks off,’ he adds.

  I force a laugh.

  ‘Right…’ I murmur, my stomach lurching. Is he really going to leave me? After having stayed for barely longer than one drink?

  Daniel gets his phone out of his pocket, no doubt to call a taxi to whisk him swiftly out from Lewisham.

  ‘Do you have to go? Can’t you just take some paracetamol or something?’

  Daniel shakes his head while tapping away on his phone.

  ‘But Daniel,’ I pull his hand away. ‘Please stay, this is the first time you’ve met everyone and… And…’

  He looks at me, a little impatiently.

  ‘I really want you here,’ I add.

  ‘Soph, we’ve stayed for a few drinks, now we can go,’ he states simply. ‘What’s the big deal?’

  ‘What?’ I pull a face. ‘I’m not going. I’m staying here!’

  Daniel looks taken aback. ‘Really? You’re not coming back with me?’

  ‘No! Of course not! This is Kate’s big night and I haven’t seen her in ages. I’m staying.’

  ‘Oh, right…’ Daniel trails off. ‘Well my cab’s on its way.’

  He gets up from the bed.

  ‘It’s like you can’t get away soon enough,’ I point out.

  ‘Soph, I have a migraine, I’ve already told you. Don’t take it so personally,’ he says, placing his hand on my thigh, before making the soft swirly patterns on my knee that always turn me to jelly.

  ‘Alright, then,’ I relent, figuring that maybe I am being a bit hard on him. He did bring Kate a bottle of Cristal and he has endured countless pervy comments from Rich, not to mention one hell of a grilling about living at the Shard. He probably is just exhausted.<
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  Daniel’s phone starts ringing. ‘Oh, my taxi’s here,’ he says, answering the call.

  We head out of my room.

  ‘Great to meet you all, but I’m knackered so going to get an early night,’ Daniel calls out, breaking the spell of the tantric breathing exercises.

  ‘Missing the Shard?’ Jack asks, but Rich quickly nudges him.

  ‘Oh, okay.’ Kate gets up, looking a bit dazed from her spiritual hand-holding. ‘It was lovely to meet you, Daniel,’ she says, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

  ‘You too, Kate, and congratulations again.’

  ‘Oh, thank you!’

  Daniel’s phone buzzes. ‘Taxi’s waiting,’ he says. ‘Better be off. Lovely to meet you all!’ he calls over his shoulder as he heads to the front door.

  ‘Bye, Soph.’ He leans in to give me a kiss before opening the door.

  ‘Bye!’ I echo, as he makes a dash down the stairs, suddenly not so willing to keep his driver waiting.

  He blows me a cheeky kiss before disappearing out of sight.

  I stand there for a moment, in the empty hallway, scattered with junk mail, as I listen to Daniel’s footsteps resounding down the stairwell. I really hoped that when I finally got a boyfriend, he’d get on with my friends, but this is such a let-down. I can’t help thinking of the easy manner Chris had with Sandra a few weeks ago over lunch – the effortless, natural way we all just chatted, as if we’d known each other for years. There was no tension, no awkwardness, he wanted to be there and you could just tell. Why couldn’t it have just been like that between Daniel and my friends?

  I hear the distant sound of the front door shutting as Daniel leaves the building. I feel a little embarrassed turning back to the loved-up party now. While all my coupled-up mates have been gazing into each other’s eyes, my boyfriend’s scarpered. I sigh, clutching the banister as I gaze miserably down the empty stairwell.

  ‘Sophia, get your arse in here,’ Kate calls.

  I plaster a smile onto my face and head back inside.

  Chapter Eighteen

  ‘Alright, love?’ Lyn croons, opening her front door wide. She smiles in her shy way as she pulls me into a tight hug.

  ‘Oh Lyn! I missed you!’ I tell her, breathing in her familiar scent of cigarettes, washing powder and jasmine perfume as I wrap my arms around her.