by Kit Pearson
“You’re not going back to school?” said Noni. “What on earth are you talking about, hen?”
Polly wearily repeated her words. “I hate it there,” she ended. She flopped into a chair and steeled herself for Noni’s anger.
But Noni was concerned, not angry. “So this is what you’ve been so gloomy about! I’m so sorry you feel like this, Polly. But you’d be giving everything up—especially your art! How could you not continue with that? You’ve told me so many times how much you love Miss Falconer’s classes and how you want to be an artist when you grow up. And what about your friends? You and Eleanor are so close, and you seem to be fond of Daisy. Are you really saying you want to give up your art and your friends?”
“Yes,” muttered Polly. “I’ll miss them, but they’re the only part of school I like. I can keep on with art on my own, and apply to go to art school later.”
Noni’s voice grew colder. “And how do you plan to carry on with the rest of your schooling?”
“Can’t I share Biddy and Dorothy’s governess?”
“You can if you want to receive a very inadequate education. From what Biddy’s mother has told me, Miss Peate is a poor teacher.”
Noni sat up straighter in bed. “Now, listen to me, Polly. I’m sorry you and Miss Guppy don’t get along. I don’t care for her myself. But you’ll simply have to put up with her and with the rest of the school. I won’t let you give up such a good education. Think of how well Maud is doing at university. That’s because she received such an excellent foundation at St. Winifred’s. I want you to have the same before you go to art school. I wish I’d had the opportunities you two have had, but my parents didn’t believe in girls being educated.”
This is about what I want, not you! Polly wanted to yell.
“Most important,” finished Noni briskly, “I won’t allow you to give up your art. So there it is, Polly. You’re going back to school whether you want to or not.” Then she smiled. “You’ve had a difficult first year—that’s all. Next year will be better, I promise. Try to enjoy the rest of the summer, and try to enjoy what you do like at school.”
“No!” said Polly. “I’m not going back!”
Spots of colour appeared in Noni’s cheeks. “Polly, don’t be ridiculous. You are, and that’s that!”
Polly stood up. “You can’t make me!”
They stared at each other. Noni appeared to be calming herself. Then she said quietly, “No, I can’t make you. But if you don’t go back, you’ll be ruining your future. I think we’re both too riled up to speak about this further. Here’s what I suggest. I want you to think about your decision very seriously for the rest of the summer. By August I’m sure you will have come to your senses, and will decide to go back. Until then we won’t speak about it, all right? I’m not going to say anything to Jean and Rand, and I hope you won’t, either.”
“All right … but waiting won’t make any difference. I’m not changing my mind!”
“Then you’re a very foolish little girl,” said Noni, sounding exactly like Miss Guppy. “I’m disappointed in you, Polly. Go away now, and leave me alone.”
Polly flew to her room, slammed the door, and sobbed into her pillow. She had finally done it. She’d told Noni her decision, but instead of feeling relieved, she felt even more miserable than before.
I’m disappointed in you … although Noni didn’t repeat those words, Polly could feel them every time they were together. Now Noni was as wooden with Polly as Polly had been with her.
She’ll come round, thought Polly. But what if she didn’t? How was she going to live all the time with her grandmother when there was such a gulf between them?
Polly went through the last week of July in a fog. She spent most of her time on the beach with Tarka, attempting to draw. But even that comfort was gone. She hated the marks her pencil made on the paper. They seemed such a waste when Miss Falconer would never see them. Most of the time Polly just stared at the sea.
As the end of the month grew closer, Polly forgot her own worries and concentrated on Maud. How was she feeling? How would she know when the baby was coming? Polly spent the last days of July inside, so that she wouldn’t miss Maud’s phone call.
After breakfast on July 30, she was moping on the window seat, trying to read. Tarka was snoring at her feet and Noni was visiting a neighbour. When the telephone rang, Polly ran so fast that she skidded in the hall.
“Hello?” she said, her heart pounding.
“Hi, Doodle!”
“Oh, Maud …” Polly steadied her voice. “Did Danny come?”
Maud was triumphant. “Oh, Polly! It’s not Danny. It’s Una! She arrived last night and she’s going to stay! I’ll be home in about ten days and tell you all about her, all right? Oh, Poll, I’m so happy! I love you so much. I’m going to hang up now.”
Polly was shaking so much she could hardly put down the receiver. If only Maud could have said more! But there was always the danger that someone would be listening.
She tried to take in Maud’s words. Una … the baby was a girl! Polly had a few seconds’ regret for Danny.
Then she began laughing and crying at the same time. She had a niece. She was named Una, after Polly and Maud’s mother. And if she was “going to stay,” that meant Maud was keeping her!
Tarka had followed her into the hall. Polly picked him up and whirled him around. “Oh, Tarka!” she cried, tears on her cheeks. “I’m an aunt—I’m an aunt!”
Then she stopped dancing and froze. Noni was standing in the doorway.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
POLLY AND NONI
“WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
“Oh, Noni …”
Noni gripped Polly by the arm and pulled her into the living room. She sat down, breathing heavily.
Polly sat opposite, gazing at her grandmother in terror. “Are you all right?”
“I’ll be all right when I hear the truth! Just tell me, Polly. Tell me at once.”
Noni’s voice had never sounded so icy.
“Maud … Maud had a baby,” croaked Polly. “It’s a girl.”
“I knew it! I knew it all along. I just couldn’t let myself believe it. You should have told me, Polly.”
“Noni, I couldn’t! Maud made me promise not to tell anyone!”
“That doesn’t matter. You should have told me anyway. Who is the father?”
“Robert,” whispered Polly.
“And where is Maud right now? Is she with Robert? Are they married?”
“No. Robert didn’t want to have anything to do with the baby,” said Polly. “Maud’s living with Daddy and Esther in Kelowna.”
“So they knew. Has she been with them all this time when she said she was in Portland?”
Polly choked out the story. “After university ended, she went to a place in Vancouver that takes care of girls who are in trouble. But Daddy and I found out where it was and rescued her. Then she went back to Kelowna with him.”
“So she told your father, but she didn’t inform me,” said Noni bitterly.
“I told him,” said Polly. “Someone had to know.”
“You should have told me, as well.”
“I couldn’t! Maud was too afraid of how you would react.”
Noni’s face was growing redder and redder. Polly ran to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.
Noni took it without a word. She gulped some water and sat in silence for a few moments. To Polly’s relief, her breathing calmed down and her face became less red.
“Here is my reaction, Polly, and you can tell it to Maud. She is a disgrace to the family, just as her mother was.” Noni paused, then continued in a strained voice. “I’ve never told you this, Polly, but Una was pregnant with Maud when she got married.”
“I know that,” said Polly bluntly. “Daddy told us. And he told us that you and my mother had a terrible argument about it and that’s why you lost contact with her.”
Noni looked as if Polly had struck he
r. “You are correct,” she said stiffly. “We did argue, and perhaps I was too harsh, but I had good reason to be angry. Una and Daniel broke the rules … just as Maud and Robert have done. It’s wrong to have relations with a man before you are married. But at least your parents did get married. What about Maud? What does she plan to do with this baby?”
“I think she’s going to keep it,” muttered Polly.
Noni exploded. “She’s going to keep it? That is a terrible mistake. She’s ruined her life! She’ll never be able to go back to university and take care of a baby. And what would people say? It was bad enough at Una and Daniel’s wedding. Everyone on the island knew why they were getting married so quickly. No one ever said anything directly, but I had to live with the insinuations.”
Noni shuddered. “The child is illegitimate. It’s not fair to raise a child with such a stigma. It would live with that shame all its life.”
“Not ‘it’—she!” cried Polly.
Noni didn’t seem to hear. She steadied her breathing, then said firmly, “Maud must put the baby up for adoption.”
Polly hesitated. “Maud was going to give her away, but I don’t think she is now. But Noni, maybe Daddy and Esther will adopt her and pretend the baby is theirs!”
“That would not be a solution. Maud would still have the baby in her life … so it would be in ours, as well. She should give it away immediately.”
“She’s going to stay!” Maud had said on the phone. Polly knew in her heart that her sister’s joyful words were true. “Maud’s not going to give her up,” she told Noni.
Noni’s expression turned to flint. “Then I won’t have anything more to do with her.”
“What do you mean?” whispered Polly.
“I mean exactly what I said. Maud is no longer my granddaughter. Your father and that woman can take care of her and her illegitimate child, instead.”
“Please, Noni,” begged Polly. “You can’t do that! You love Maud. She loves you.”
“If she loved me, she wouldn’t have done this to me,” said Noni. “Tell her what I’ve just told you—that I never want to see her again.”
“No!” Polly stood up. “You can’t mean that! You just said you were too harsh with my mother. Now you’re being the same with Maud!”
A flicker of doubt came into Noni’s eyes, but she drew herself upright and said, “Perhaps I am, but Maud has left me no choice. She has done something very wrong, and she’s continuing that wrong by keeping her child. I cannot condone it.”
Polly was shaking so much she had to hold on to a chair for support. “You’re the one who is wrong, Noni!” She tried not to cry, but her words were slurred. “You lost Una and now you’re losing Maud. And you’re going to lose me, as well. If you don’t want Maud, I don’t want you! I’m going to go and live with Daddy.”
Noni pressed her hand to her heart. “No, Polly!” Her voice softened for the first time. “You’re too young to understand what a shameful thing Maud has done … but it has nothing to do with you and me. Surely you know I feel the same about you as I always have. We’ll just carry on as we did before.”
“Not unless you accept Maud and her baby,” shot back Polly.
“I’m sorry, hen … I can’t do that.”
“Then I’m going to live with Daddy!”
Noni’s face blazed with anger again. “Don’t be ridiculous, Polly. You are not going to live with your father, just as you are not going to leave school. I am your legal guardian, so you have no choice. I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense. Now, listen carefully. You mustn’t breathe a word about what has happened—do you understand? We can’t risk anyone knowing, not even Jean and Rand. Thank goodness they aren’t here.”
Polly wished they were. Maybe they would take Maud’s side. But they were visiting friends on Walker Island for a week. Mrs. Hooper might also sympathize, but she was away, as well.
It was just Polly and Noni, two people who had once loved each other but now seemed like strangers. “Please leave me now,” said Noni. “I need to be by myself and digest this dreadful news.”
Polly ran upstairs, sobbing all the way. As soon as she got into her room, however, her tears halted. There was no time to cry; she had to make a plan.
Two hours later, Polly crept down the stairs, carrying her rucksack. She had heard Noni go into her own room, then a few minutes ago she had heard her leave it. She found her grandmother in the kitchen, slicing bread and chicken. Tarka was at her feet, waiting for something to drop.
“Noni?” she asked carefully.
“Yes?” said Noni, not turning around.
“Tarka and I going to sleep in the cabin tonight,” said Polly. “Is that all right?”
Now Noni looked at her, but her expression was so cold that Polly almost shivered.
“Very well. When will you be back?”
“I’ll have breakfast there and come home for lunch,” said Polly.
“Take whatever food you need from the pantry, then. Would you like me to make you a sandwich?”
“I’ll make it,” said Polly.
“Very well,” repeated Noni. She finished making her own sandwich and carried it into the living room.
Polly let out her breath. So far, this was working even better than she had hoped. She made herself two huge chicken sandwiches. Then she ransacked the pantry, filling it with as much food as she could stuff into her rucksack. She left room for Tarka’s food, his dish, his leash, and a bottle of water.
Polly tested the rucksack. It was heavy, but she could manage it. Then she rummaged in the broom closet. At the very back she found Tarka’s wicker travelling crate. He had used it only once, when he’d had to go to the vet in Sidney to have a thorn removed from his paw. The crate was very old; it had once belonged to Noni’s Scottie. Polly inspected it anxiously, but it still seemed sturdy.
Now for the tricky part: getting the crate out to the cabin without Noni seeing her. Polly went into the living room. Noni was sitting in a chair, reading a book and eating her sandwich. Tarka sat hopefully at her feet.
Polly held out a bit of meat. Tarka looked from one to the other, then decided to go to Polly.
“Goodbye,” said Polly tightly.
“Goodbye, Polly. I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Noni, her eyes on her book.
Oh, goodbye, goodbye! cried Polly’s heart.
But there was no time to listen to it. She hurried back to the kitchen, with Tarka trotting after her. After hoisting the rucksack on her back and picking up the crate, Polly escaped out the back door and headed for the cabin.
DEAR NONI,
You said I didn’t have a choice, but I do. I’m going to live with Daddy and Esther, and you can’t stop me. Tarka is with me. I’ll phone you when I get to Kelowna so you know I’m all right. After that, I don’t want to speak to you unless you change your mind. If you are disowning Maud, then I’m disowning you!
Polly
PS. The baby’s name is Una.
Polly pressed the pencil so hard she almost broke it. She placed the note on top of one of the stumps she used for a table, and put a rock on top of it so it wouldn’t blow away. Then she checked her watch.
The steamer for Vancouver didn’t arrive for another hour, so she would have to stay in the cabin until she heard its whistle. Someone on the wharf would ask where she was going, so the later she went, the better.
She paced the cabin nervously and kept going through her luggage. She’d only packed underwear so she’d have room for food. Noni would have to send on her clothes later. Once again, she counted the money in her small purse.
Noni had been giving Polly a generous allowance for years, augmenting it every Christmas and birthday. Polly had saved the money she didn’t need in the flowered china pig she kept on her chest of drawers. When she emptied out the bills and coins onto her bed, she was pleasantly surprised. She had plenty of money for the train, with a lot left over.
The piggy bank had once belonged to Una.
Polly couldn’t remember her mother. What would she think of her daughters now? One had just had a baby who was named after her, and the other was running away!
Polly knew that Una had been headstrong and spunky, much more like Maud than like her. Now Polly had to be as brave as they were. Running away was terrifying. Never in her life had she done something so daring. But she thought of what she had just written and took a deep breath. If Noni was going to reject Maud, Polly had no choice but to reject her.
Finally, she heard the steamer whistle. This was going to be the riskiest part. A crowd of people would be at the wharf, waiting for the mail. Someone might tell Noni they had just seen Polly board the boat. Noni would call the police and Polly would be brought back from Vancouver in disgrace.
I may as well try, anyway, thought Polly. What have I got to lose? She picked up the rucksack and the basket, called Tarka, and made her way to the wharf.
“Why, Polly, what are you doing all by yourself? Are you going to Vancouver?”
It was Mrs. Wynne, whose husband ran the store. “I’m going to Kelowna to visit my father,” said Polly, forcing herself to sound confident.
“But where’s your grandmother? Why isn’t she here to see you off?”
“She’s not feeling well,” said Polly rapidly.
“Oh, isn’t that too bad! Perhaps I’ll stop by later with some of my soup.”
Oh, no! “She’s—she’s not eating,” said Polly. “Her stomach is really upset and all she wants to do is sleep. It would be better not to disturb her.”
“The poor thing! I’ll drop in tomorrow, then, and see how she is.”
Polly’s heart thudded; the first hurdle was over.
When the steamer came into view, she pushed a protesting Tarka into his crate. He whined until she gave him a bone.
The crate was much heavier with Tarka in it, but Mr. Cridge carried it up the gangplank for her. To Polly’s relief, he and his wife were the only other passengers travelling to Vancouver. Polly didn’t know them very well. After her short explanation of where she was going, they picked up their newspapers and left her alone.