Shattered Love (Blinded Love Series Book 1)

by Stacey Marie Brown

  “Have a seat.” Ms. Matlin motioned to the chair across from her desk. She strolled around, settling herself in her seat.

  I sat down. I should have been scared or nervous. I never had been called into the principal’s office, not like this. Previously it had been because of an award or special honors.

  “I don’t know what to do here. This is so unlike you.”

  I was getting tired of that phrase “so unlike you.”

  “Jaymerson.” She sighed heavily. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through.” She shook her head; compassion coated her face and words. “I know you need some time to adjust, but this isn’t the first complaint I’ve received about your attitude lately.”

  My head jerked up.

  “Most of your teachers have stated your demeanor in class has changed drastically. Your manner is combative, quick to temper, and insolent. You stare out the window and don’t participate in class anymore. You don’t turn in your homework, you walk out of class, talk back, and are disruptive.”

  It was all true.

  She sat forward, clasping her hands. “Again, I recognize you have been through a horrific, tragic incident. However, this is not how to deal with it.”

  I lifted my chin in defiance.

  “And now attacking a student? Isn’t Adam one of your friends?” Friend? At one time I would have said yes. But he never was. He was Colton’s friend. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  I pinned my lips together. No way I would snitch or tell her a simple insult had me flip out so badly.

  She exhaled with frustration. “Jaymerson, I am really worried about you.” Empathy sat in her eyes. “I don’t want to punish you. You are a good student, and I’m aware you’ve been through a lot. However, I also can’t ignore this and hope it will go away.” She sucked in air between her teeth. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to notify your parents.”

  “You’re going to tell my parents?” I scooted to the lip of my chair. “Seriously?” This was another first for me.

  “I’m sorry.” She slanted her head. “I don’t see any other way. You are going through a lot of pain right now. Everyone deals with it in their own way, but I have to step in when it is affecting other students and teachers. And most of all you’re hurting what you worked so hard for.” She sighed. “You are failing, Jaymerson. You are one of the brightest students we have here. I can’t sit back and let you not graduate or lose your scholarship because you are not acting like yourself.”

  She meant well, I understood that, but I was still annoyed. I was tired of people telling me how they thought I should act and be.

  “I will be contacting them today.” She looked over at her desk phone. “I hope you see I have your best interests in mind.”

  “Yeah. Thank you.” I stood, swiping up my backpack. “Is that all, Principal Matlin?”

  She bowed her head. “For now.”

  I gave her a curt nod and hurried out the door. I did understand her reasons, but I couldn’t fight the boiling rage seeping in.

  My feet led me down the hall and through the doors. I sucked greedily at the crisp early December air. I let my head fall back and closed my lids for a moment. Clouds blocked the sun’s rays from warming me, and I wrapped my arms around my body. It was only a moment before my skin prickled, the sensation of someone watching me.

  I opened my eyes, gazing around. Hunter leaned against the hood of a car, his arms crossed, his face like stone, but his blue eyes flashed with heated anger. Like a magnet I moved down the steps to him. My defenses rose with each step. I stopped in front of him, my silence challenging his.

  He scoffed, waggling his head, looking off in the distance. “What were you thinking?”

  “What?”

  “I said…” He zeroed in on me, his attention razor sharp. “What. Were. You. Thinking?”

  I took a step. “I was sticking up for you.”

  “Well, don’t.” He leaned toward me. We were only a few feet apart. I could sense his rage bursting off him. “I can take care of myself fine.”

  Hurt, embarrassment, frustration, and rage bristled under my skin. I felt like I should have been in a cartoon, where steam actually came out of your ears. “It’s what I thought friends did for each other,” I said deep and evenly. “I was wrong. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  He inhaled air through his nose, bringing his face even closer to mine, fury billowing off us. He rolled his jaw, his eyes dropping for an instant to my mouth.

  Kiss me. Kiss me now. I jerked back as the thought bounded around my head, tapping at my muscles to act on. What the hell, Jaymerson? Ewww. You did not mean it. A surge of shame rippled over my soul. How could I even think it? That’s disgusting. It was because I missed Colton. That had to be the reason.

  He sucked in his breath, looking away. He leaned back against the car. “We can’t be friends.”

  “Why not?” What was happening to me lately? I had no filter anymore.

  “Your world, your friends, don’t mix with mine.” He kept his focus on the school building. “And you definitely shouldn’t speak up for me.”

  “Is this Hunter logic?”

  “No, it’s high school.” He folded his arms. “It’s better if you stay away from me.”

  The sounds of the PE classes out on the field drifted over to us. We were probably being watched right now.

  “We weren’t friends before. Why should we be any different now?”

  “Are you serious?” I exclaimed. “You don’t think what we’ve been through kind of changes things?”

  “Does it?” He twisted his head back to me. “Would you be seen with my group at lunch? Walk in the halls next to me? Hang out on weekends?” He shook his head. “Only in movies would our worlds be able to mix. Stick to your own kind, Jaymerson. You will be a lot happier in the end.” He pushed himself off the car and grabbed his crutches.

  “Excuse me?” I responded. “Stay with my kind? Now who’s sounding like the snob? And how do you know what will make me happier?”

  He moved around me, heading for a black car in the parking lot. It was then I noticed someone was in it. His friend Jones sat in the driver’s seat, smoke swirling out the window. I was pretty sure it was not a cigarette.

  “I don’t. That’s the point.” He moved for the black Honda Civic. The paint had a matte finish, rendering the car tougher looking than a sedan usually was. Stickers of skulls, pit bulls, and other emblems decorated the sides and back window. “Bye, Jaymerson.”

  I popped with fury, trailing after him. “Of all people, I didn’t think you would be telling me what to do or who I should be.”

  He grabbed the car door, swinging it open. He threw his crutches hastily in the back, looking to get away from me. It was like a bucket of ice water. I stopped in my tracks.

  “Screw you, Hunter.”

  He shuffled himself into the low-riding car, a strange look floating over his expression as he shut the door. The car roared to life, loud music pounding the air.

  “You are right about one thing,” I bellowed over the noise. “We aren’t friends. We aren’t anything.” I whirled around, my limp carrying me away at a disappointingly slow speed.

  The Honda burned from the parking lot, its blaring tunes screeching along with the car. It was like someone punched a hole in my chest and filled it in with more anger. I wanted to say Hunter’s theory was wrong. I would totally be seen with him and his friends. But would I really? How long before the ridicule of everyone dominated me, forced me to turn my back and get in line? We liked to pretend it could be different. And movies loved to show opposites attract and the popular kid could fall in love with the nerd. It was bullshit. It didn’t happen in the real world. The power of our peers in high school ruled. Humans by nature wanted to belong, to be accepted. I used to be no different. Was I now? The thought of going back to that group, being a follower again, scraped against every nerve I had.

  I glanced at the front of the school. I
pulled out my phone and dialed.

  “Hey, Whiskey, what’s up?” Stevie’s voice sang out after the third ring.

  “I need to escape. Now. Can you come get me?”

  “You’re in luck. I need a reason to get out of this house.” I could hear Stevie’s mom talking behind her. “Mom, I’m on the phone. The woman doesn’t stop talking. She is driving me batty.” Stevie sighed. I could hear her eyes roll from here. “I’ll be right there.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  My parents were understandably upset after Principal Matlin’s call, but instead of yelling or grounding me, they were quiet, simmering in their dismay. Their calm, firm voices were more painful than any shouting.

  “After our chat with Ms. Matlin, we are going to talk to your therapist. Clearly, she is not helping you.” Dad rubbed his chin.

  “Clearly. Because I should be fixed by now. All healed and happy.” I lifted the bag of ice to look at my swollen, scraped knuckles. I had to force back a grin. My parents would not appreciate my satisfaction over hitting Adam. Behind his contagious smile he was kind of a pompous jerk.

  “That’s not what your father meant.” Mom sat down in the chair across the dining table from me. “We realize you are in a lot of grief. It’s going to take a while to heal, but Jayme…a fight at school? Disrespecting your teachers? Walking out of class?”

  I kept my gaze down. I was not sorry for any of it. And I wouldn’t be repentant, which was new for me. Though, I still felt bad for making them upset.

  My father gripped the back of Mom’s chair, inhaling through his nose. “We don’t know what to do here, JayJay. We know you’re suffering but acting out like this is not acceptable.”

  A heaviness, like a weight fastened to my soul, tugged me further into the chair. They might as well have said I was not acceptable. The way I was dealing with Colton’s death wasn’t up to par.

  “It might be our fault.” Mom put her hand to her chest, patting it in emphasis. “You’ve been on your own too much. We let you have too much freedom to dwell on things and weren’t firmer in getting you out with your friends. Activities.”

  “What?” My head jerked up.

  “Starting tomorrow, you will be going back to cheerleading practice. Justin told me you need to pay attention to your body, but you can slowly start getting back into it.” Dad stood firm. “We’ve called Nancy and let her know you will be back tomorrow.”

  “You called Nancy?” I gaped. “Without talking to me first?”

  “No. Sorry, but we are going to use the parent card,” Dad responded. I squeezed my eyes closed, holding back my reaction. “After cheerleading practice, you will come straight home and all homework is to be done out here. We want to make sure it is completed. This is not the time to mess up your grades.”

  I clamped my teeth, grinding them together.

  The sound of little feet thumped behind me. Reece came around my chair, grabbing my knee. Her head bobbed between our parents and me and her face twisted. “Is JayJay in trouble?”

  “No, sweetie.” Mom shook her head. “Not with us.”

  I wanted to laugh, but instead I tossed the bag of ice to the side and grabbed Reece’s hands, pulling her attention to me. “You want to play Candyland till dinner?”

  Her eyes widened, nodding.

  “Go get it ready.” I dipped my head to the media console in the living room where we stored the games.

  “I get to be red.” She ran for the cabinet as I stood up.

  “Jayme?” Mom said my name.

  I glanced over my shoulder. “I’ll bring my homework here after dinner.” I walked away, heading for my sister who sweetly dumped decorated cards and bright gingerbread men on the floor.

  The next day Savannah didn’t meet me at my locker or acknowledge me when she walked by. It was obvious I hadn’t been fitting in since I returned, but yesterday when I picked Hunter over Adam, it finally pushed me over. No matter that Adam was a dick, it was the axe to my group standing.

  When lunch break came, my innards were so wound in knots I couldn’t even think about food. I stepped into the cafeteria, my gaze darting over to my usual table through my lashes. For show I grabbed a sandwich and a drink and turned around, staring at the bustling room. I wanted to leave, to run outside and keep going, but I had nowhere to go. Hunter had made it clear he was not my friend.

  Maybe if I apologize to Adam and brush it off? Make it a joke. The idea tipped my feet forward, but instantly flopped, splatting sourly in my gut. No. I couldn’t be untrue to my feelings. But what else can I do? I inhaled, rolling my shoulders back. Savannah looked up, seeing me. My raw, red knuckles clenched around the bottle of water in my hand, crinkling the plastic. She leaned over and whispered into Chloe’s ear. Both their glares landed back on me. Adam and Jason stopped eating, watching me with bitter regard. The four of them seemed to govern the entire room’s focus.

  Gazes from everywhere sizzled my back, sending flames to my face. I was being cooked on an open fire pit, while the group in front of me chilled my heart. What am I doing? My shoes clipped the floor, inching toward them.

  “I can’t believe after yesterday she’d even think about sitting here,” Chloe’s voice purposely leaked over to me. Her curly black bobbed hair brushed her shoulders as she shook it.

  “She better not.” Savannah’s lip hitched, her eyes full of hate.

  “Keep walking, bitch,” Adam snarled at me. When I saw the light bruise on his cheekbone, my right hand tingled, like it was proudly boasting, I did that.

  I kept my head high as I walked by them, moving toward the back. I pushed through the door, giving them a brief look back. The entire table watched me, scowling. Then Adam turned his back on me, and Savannah followed suit.

  I had definitely exiled myself from the kingdom of popularity and friends. I was completely on my own. Eliminated from their world. A displaced vagabond who would be openly targeted.

  The arrow came swiftly.

  Having Hunter in fifth period was far too tempting for my ex-friends and their followers. A guy I didn’t know well, but who had been on the football team with Colton, sniggered the moment Hunter walked into the room. I had gotten to class early, after spending lunch in the library, turning off my phone, avoiding people and social media.

  I couldn’t ignore the way Hunter took up space in the room. His dark jeans were relaxed, but his navy-blue T-shirt fit nicely across his chest. His hair was slightly untidy, but it worked on him. Made him more rugged.

  I turned my attention to my notebook. My pen pressed firmly, indenting the paper with loopy designs. Out the corner of my eye I saw him move deeper into the room, heading for his seat in the back, a row off and two back from mine.

  “So…you need a girl to protect you, Harris? Maybe next time you can hide behind your mommy’s skirt.”

  Hunter didn’t respond. He dropped his bag heavily on top of his desk.

  “Your brother’s girl, huh?” He twisted his tone, making it sound lewd.

  “Shut up, Lewis,” Hunter growled. Without looking at him, I could still sense Hunter’s anger building.

  “Oh, someone’s a bit touchy. Need Jaymerson to come beat me up for you?” Lewis taunted. The teacher and some of the class had yet to arrive, but every moment another trickled in, shooting their gazes at the circus ring. “What about you, Holloway? You can’t seem to stay away from the Harris boys. Bounce from one dick to the other?”

  I whirled in my seat, angry words about to shoot from my mouth. But my tongue halted when Hunter’s desk barreled across the tile floor, squealing at a deafening pitch. Hunter’s shoulders and neck twitched with energy. He moved amazingly fast to Lewis and slammed his hands on his desk. Lewis was a linebacker, not a small guy, but Hunter’s broad shoulders dwarfed him as Hunter leaned over.

  “I told you: Shut. Up.” Hunter’s voice was low but frighteningly menacing. “You flap your mouth again about her or my brother and you will deal with me. Then we will see how fast you hid
e behind your mommy.” Hunter grabbed his stuff and walked to the door before Lewis could respond, running into Mrs. Ambose. He pushed past her and disappeared around the corner.

  “Hunter, where are you going?” Mrs. Ambose called after him. “Hunter!” Her cries fell on deaf ears.

  The bell rang for class to start, but Hunter was lost in the swarm of tardy students. Mrs. Ambose’s brow drew down, and she sighed before shutting the door.

  “Okay, everyone. It’s pop quiz time.” She planted her papers and bag on the desk. She told us about it yesterday, so not really a “pop” quiz, but still a chorus of groans rippled through the room. With the attention moving away from me, I stared out the window, watching a tall figure move across the lot, his limp a distinctive characteristic. He flung his backpack on top of Jones’s car, brought a phone to his ear. To anyone else he would appear like a guy waiting for his friend. I saw more. The slight brisk movements of his arms and shoulders, the way he brushed his hair back. Anger coiled in him like a viper.

  And maybe I recognized it because I felt the same. Mine was aimed at Lewis, my ex-friends, but especially at him. Hunter left me to fight this war on my own. I couldn’t run away, but he had the liberty of ducking out and letting it pass, while I stood on the mound ready to battle. Even if I knew I’d lose, I wanted to be strong, finally stand up for myself.

  A guy in a flat-rimmed baseball cap sauntered toward Hunter. Jones and Hunter clasped hands in greeting. Jones was average height and lacked the toned muscle like Hunter. His wide-brimmed baseball hat was like a uniform, but from his sideburns, you could see his hair was a reddish blond. His pale skin was covered in tattoos up his arms and neck. A stud pierced his chin and black circular earring plugs.

  They stood talking and then their other friend, Megan, joined them. She was my height, with a creamy chocolate complexion and dark eyes. Her black hair was naturally curly and hung past her shoulders. She wore skinny, ripped black jeans and an army green jacket. All three got in the car and drove away. I wanted to throw my books at the window.