Split Infinity

by Thalia Kalkipsakis

  Kessa’s eyes travel to my wrist.

  ‘I’ve wanted to do a friend link for a long time.’ As I talk, I lift my arm and wipe a thumb over the fake scar. It leaves a smudge.

  With a gasp Kessa stands, stepping backwards and checking over each shoulder. For cameras? Or some official she can tell?

  I drop my arm and press my hands between my legs, looking anywhere but Kessa.

  ‘But … but what about … we did a friend link on photo day? I used it to message you …’ Her voice is shrill, sort of pleading for another explanation. Anything but the harshness of the truth.

  Already I’ve said too much, I can tell. Maybe this was a mistake. But it’s out now, I can’t take it back. What if she never wants to speak to me again?

  ‘Listen …’ I stand so that I’m facing her. ‘This is a lot to admit, I know. When I was little, my mum told me how careful I had to be. What it could mean for people if I told them. So that’s why I kept it secret. And I’m hoping that you won’t turn me in. Asking you not to …’

  Her eyes narrow when I say that.

  I can’t stand to see her thinking of me this way. Liar. Thief. Cheat. Especially since they carry some truth. I stole the chip. I’ve lied about who I am, and hacked my way into the select entry application for Karoly High.

  But I sat the test fair and square. And I also know, more than anything, that if I’d already had access to rations, a chance to go to school, that I wouldn’t have lied. I wouldn’t have cheated. I wouldn’t be the type of person to do any of those things if I didn’t have to.

  ‘You might not want me to explain,’ I finish. ‘But if you do, I’ll tell you.’

  She blinking fast, her jaw set hard, so I decide that’s enough. I’ve said as much as I can for now. I’ll be ready if she decides to come to me for the rest.

  ‘If I don’t hear from you, I’ll understand.’ I leave her standing beside the bench and walk away.

  I’m halfway along the path out of the park when I hear footsteps behind me. As I turn, Kessa slows down.

  She stops a distance from me, panting. ‘Listen, I’m sorry. It’s just … that was quite a bombshell. I wasn’t ready.’

  ‘It’s okay.’

  ‘And I’m …’ She arches her torso, a hand into the small of her back. ‘I’m not really sure what to say about it. I mean, it’s the mega population that’s causing such massive pressure on resources. If everyone did what your mum did –’

  She trails off and her eyes go wide as she realises what she’s saying. ‘Sorry. That didn’t come out right. I mean, who am I to make that call?’

  But how can anyone? I want to ask. How can even a government make that sort of choice?

  ‘Anyway …’ She glances past me. ‘I just wanted to say: I won’t turn you in. I can help you, Scout. I’ll share lunch with you next year, at school. No-one has to know.’

  I step closer and squeeze the top of her arm. The offer she’s just made is massive. ‘Thank you, but I’m …’ My hand drops. ‘There’s more that you need to know.’ I check over my shoulder. There’s only one way to do this.

  ‘Actually … do you want to come over to my place?’ Mum’s not due back from her walk until four, so we still have an hour or so.

  As we catch the train home, I tell her in whispers about the woman I found in the cave. Kessa doesn’t seem surprised. The friend link we did the other day worked fine so she must have known that I found a chip. I fudge my way through an explanation about the grid, dropping hints about gaps as we walk along our street.

  I swipe our door open to our room, and turn back to Kessa. ‘There’s one more thing you need to know. This is the best bit.’

  On the morning of Mum’s birthday I’m up at six, ready for birthday take two. I already know how she’ll respond, so I’ve only tweaked and refined some bits. This one really will be a birthday to beat all others.

  It was great fun, showing Kessa what I could do, watching the progress of emotion on Kessa’s face, from surprise to wide-eyed astonishment. The fabric of something that seemed solid in her world had just been ripped apart. She keeps messaging a bunch of questions, so I keep an eye on my compad while I quietly mix the pancake batter.

  The second pancake is ready to flip when Mum’s alarm sounds. She’s barely moved, but her eyes crinkle in a smile as I carry over her tray of pancakes, a present balanced on the edge.

  ‘Oh … sweetheart.’ She sits up, rubbing her cheek as I pat the doona flat and position the tray in place.

  ‘Happy birthday, Mum!’ She’s warm with sleep as I lean in for a hug.

  ‘This is lovely, Scout. Thank you.’ She looks back at the present, and then up at me: ‘So, um … what first?’

  ‘Why don’t you have a shower? I’ll keep the pancakes warm.’

  Her reply turns into a yawn, but then she says: ‘That would be lovely.’

  When she comes back her hair is wet and pulled back in a bun. We sit with the tray between us on the bed, eating from the same plate like we used to when I was little. It gives me the tiniest twang about the future that’s waiting. If we can’t stop the fire we’ll be facing life on half rations again. We’re already a week into the adjusted food delivery, and the vac packs and other non-perishable food are slowly piling up in the cupboard. But there weren’t any vac packs in yesterday’s delivery. Today is to be enjoyed.

  I grab her present and hold it out. ‘Happy birthday, Mum.’

  ‘Sweetheart, thank you.’ Inside is a big box with two layers of homemade chocolates, a mix of soft centres and hard.

  Her eyes go wide and she bites a lip, pulled tight from her smile. ‘Yum. Thank you.’

  ‘That’s just the start.’ I pick up my compad and hold it out so she can see the credits I’ve been saving. I flip to another page that shows the total in her account.

  Her mouth shapes the numbers as she adds the two amounts together. Already I’m flipping to the last page: the total we have saved. Her chip, and now mine, together.

  I lifted my eyebrows. ‘These are your credits, okay? A gift from me after sharing everything your whole life. Spend them any way you like, yeah? They’re all yours.’

  ‘Well. Thank you, Coutlyn. That’s so thoughtful.’ She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. ‘But we need to save every spare –’

  ‘No, it’s okay.’ I’m ready for this. ‘I’m not having the chip inserted in my wrist. It’s too expensive.’ And too dangerous. ‘So we don’t need to save up for a bribe. We can use those credits for something else.’

  Mum’s lips part as she stares at me, as if I just read her mind. I don’t tell her that the truth is even stranger than that.

  ‘But it’s such a risk,’ she mutters. ‘And for the rest of your life …’

  ‘It’s my risk to take, right? And there are advantages too. Like accessing the underground spring in the cave during a blackout. If the chip is in my wrist I can’t get into the park after hours. And there’s always a chance the authorities will notice I’m visiting the same spot and come to investigate.’

  Her silence at least is not an argument. I lean closer and take her hand in both of mine. ‘Just imagine if we don’t have to pay a bribe, right? Think about all the things you could do.’

  ‘Yes, I know …’ she drifts off.

  ‘Like maybe a new place to live? With your own bedroom … a private bathroom.’

  A pause. ‘That would be nice …’ But she doesn’t pick up the game like I’d hoped.

  I lean closer. ‘Okay?’

  She doesn’t answer.

  ‘Mum?’

  She looks up and there’s a moment before her eyes focus, as if only now registering I’m here. Her lips part, but no words come. All she does is push her lips together and squeeze my palm.

  ‘Thank you, Scout. For thinking of me. It’s the most thoughtful birthday present I’ve ever had.’

  ‘Really? You’re okay? It’s okay?’

  ‘Really. I mean it.’

  ‘So …
when do we go shopping?’ I keep my tone light, trying to tease whatever secret she’s hiding out of her.

  Her mouth relaxes into a wry smile. ‘Not for a while yet.’

  Whatever plans she has for the credits, she’s not giving much away. But that’s okay, they’re hers now. She deserves extra credits and more. She deserves to be happy.

  And I’m helping her get closer to that, one step at a time.

  It’s after four on Friday when I rest my bike in the shade against the garage wall. The back of my shirt is wet when I pull off my backpack, so I stay in the shade and suck down half my water bottle.

  It’s been hot every day of the two weeks since Mason and I first jumped together. Our returns have become clean and sharp, within a split second of each other and over long periods too: twenty minutes, half an hour. We even managed to synch an exact sixty minutes during a baking hot afternoon. But we’ve been planning, too. Mason contacted the Metro Fire Brigade, working out their depot locations in the north of the city and the info they need before they can respond to a fire report. We’ll be all over that when the time comes. I’m starting to think that maybe everything will be okay. It’s been good. Easy.

  So easy that I’ve found myself counting down the days until tonight: the night of the blackout. Knowing what the future might bring does have advantages, after all. We’ll be alone together during those hours in lockdown, a chance to really hang out. Let us be us.

  The side door to his garage is slightly open when I knock. It brings a slight shimmer of deja vu that makes me smile.

  No answer comes, so I knock again. ‘Mason?’ I slide the door further open and stick my head in, enjoying a breeze from the air-con. Of course, the room’s empty.

  I’m three steps inside and facing the spot behind the couch when Mason’s shape appears to one side, further back from where I expected and behind an armchair near the fridgepad.

  ‘Boo!’ he shouts, landing solidly on both feet. A gasp escapes my mouth. Dammit. He got me again.

  His shoulders are square, his chest smooth and slightly tan leading down to that flat stomach, cute belly button …

  I drag my eyes to his face. ‘No fair!’ But I’m grinning.

  Mason lets out the best-sounding happy snort. ‘Gotcha, didn’t I? I was thinking about catching you out and then I remembered you said I first jumped from standing behind the couch, so then I thought …’

  Clever. My eyes narrow. ‘I’ll get you back.’ I grab a blanket that’s scrunched on the floor and throw it at him. His shape is so perfect that he looks like he’s been sculpted from synth-marble.

  Mason wraps the blanket around his waist and when he glances up again, our eyes meet. The whole world seems so slow around us.

  ‘I …’ A word comes out before I know what I’m saying. I only know that I don’t want this moment to end.

  Something causes the door to move and a gust of hot air makes us turn as time speeds up to normal again.

  ‘Heeee-ey.’ It’s Boc: tall, broad and already in the way. His one word starts out high but then drops in tone when he sees me.

  ‘Hey,’ Mason and I say at once, but our words come rushed, as if we’ve been caught out. Mason’s standing here with just a bare chest and a blanket wrapped around his waist. And I’m pretty sure I’m bright-red.

  Boc doesn’t know how to skip yet, so he hasn’t been part of our jumping bubble. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since finding out he turned me in in the other timestream, and something hardens in me: You. Absolute. Piece. Of. Scum. Calling him out for what he did would feel so great right now. But I can’t do that without giving the game away. Getting him back will be way better than yelling. And that means keeping my cool now.

  Besides, I’m not letting Boc mess up this night with Mason.

  ‘Hey, mate,’ Mason says again, grabbing his shorts and glancing at me.

  Boc crosses his arms. ‘Been skipping again?’ Beads of sweat stand out on his hairline.

  ‘Yeah, heaps.’ Mason gestures my way, shorts on now. ‘And Scout too.’

  I’m expecting a nod from Boc, or even just a shrug, but his eyes dart to me just like they did last time and stay fixed.

  I stare back as uneasiness prickles the back of my neck. What’s going on? He still thinks I’m the woman from the cave, a seasoned time skipper. Why the surprise that we’ve been skipping?

  ‘Really?’ Boc frowns my way before turning to Mason. ‘You mean, you’ve actually seen her jump? Not just on the grid?’

  ‘Yeah, heaps.’ A smile, just for me. ‘Pretty much every day these past two weeks.’

  The fact that we’ve been so accurate has made it easy to add gaps to my grid, so Boc shouldn’t suspect a thing, even if he’s been watching.

  He still seems confused.

  ‘Anyway,’ Boc turns back to Mason, ‘I was going to ask if you want to come climbing with me and Amon again?’

  Again, Mason glances at me. ‘Bit hot.’

  ‘There’s a cool change due tonight. We’re meeting tomorrow at two.’ Boc lets his arms drop. ‘Training at the climbing centre, and then drinks at the end.’

  A shrug from Mason. ‘Sure. I guess.’

  ‘Come on, Mase. You’re ready to climb without a harness. You just need some confidence.’

  ‘Is that all? Co-ordination might come in handy too.’ Mason laughs.

  Boc’s face changes completely as he grins. But then he turns to consider me and his grin fades. It’s as if he’s trying to work me out.

  My skin turns cold. The row of dominoes is teetering, threatening to fall again. What have I missed?

  ‘Okay,’ Mason says finally. ‘Want to join us now?’

  Boc shakes his head. ‘Nah. Catch you.’ Another glance my way, and then he’s through the door with gust of hot air. A waft of honeysuckle lingers after the door closes behind him.

  ‘Want a drink?’ Mason asks.

  ‘No, but thanks.’ Has Boc noticed a delay before the gaps appear in my timeline? Has he worked out that I’m adding them myself?

  Mason’s swipes the fridgepad and pulls out two cans as a rich blast of cool hits me in the face.

  ‘Here, try this.’ He holds out a can but I shake my head, adrenaline rising. I have to do something. I can’t risk Boc working me out.

  ‘Sorry, I …’ For a moment I think about telling Mason what happened with Boc. But I can’t waste time explaining now. If there’s still a chance I can save Boc from working me out, I have to try.

  Swallowing back the burn of frustration, I search around for an excuse. ‘I forgot about something. I have to go.’ Lame. But it’s the best I can do.

  Mason’s arm sags. ‘Really? Now?’

  ‘Yeah.’ I try to find a way to explain but come up short. ‘Sorry.’ I’d do anything to stay with Mason right now. This is our night.

  But I can’t stay. Not until I sort out what’s going on with Boc.

  ‘I’ll call you, okay?’

  Then I’m out the door and into the furnace of afternoon heat. The waft of honeysuckle follows me all the way down the street.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  A FEW BLOCKS FROM Mason’s street I find a taxi rank with a row of bench chairs under a shade canopy. Two women are sitting, fanning themselves with their hands. The taxi request post is glowing amber, which means a bit of a wait.

  I wheel my bike to the far end of the bench and sit next to it. This is as good a place as anywhere to work out what Boc’s been doing. I already have him tagged so that I can check his movements quickly. I’ve only just brought up his dot on the grid when there’s a clunk from one of the buildings behind us. A slow beeping alarm sounds from a local produce market across the street.

  Frustration burns and my hands drop. Right now, I’m meant to be with Mason. I’ll suggest that we skip through the worst of the heat then we’ll end up on the roof together, lying side by side as we gaze into a sky that never ends, talking about the never-ending lifespan of starlight …

&nbs
p; But I push all that out of my mind. Unless I deal with Boc, I’ll never be free.

  One of the women stands and does a quarter-turn, shielding her eyes from the sun.

  ‘Blackout, you think?’ barks the other woman. She starts swiping the request sensor over and over. As if that’s going to make any difference.

  My compad beeps.

  ‘Where are you?’ Mum asks as soon as I answer.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I say. On my way home. That’s what she wants me to say, but I can’t tell her that. Blackout or no blackout, I need to deal with Boc as fast as I can. Holding my breath, I slink away from the bench seats in case Mum hears the women in the background.

  ‘I’m at Mason’s,’ I finish, and bite my lip. That’s what I told her last time. The alarm is still going across the street but it’s a low tone. I’m not sure if she can hear it.

  ‘They’re saying it’s almost the whole city,’ comes Mum’s voice.

  ‘Fantastic.’ Don’t think she can.

  ‘Might take them a while to fix this one, so I want you to stay put. Okay?’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Can I speak to Mason’s mum or dad?’

  I glance at the women. ‘They’re not here.’

  ‘Ask them to call me when they get in?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘And stay inside, all right? Bad things happen when there’s a blackout.’

  Almost as confirmation, there’s a jolt in the smartcars on the road in front of us as they move into a single lane and an ambulance streaks past.

  I take another step back from the noise of the road. ‘Mum, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.’

  ‘All right.’ She seems distracted. Then, clearer, she says, ‘Bye, sweetheart.’ The screen switches to red as she signs off.

  ‘Hey, you okay?’ One of the women has been waiting for me to finish on the phone. ‘Need help getting home?’

  If she knew I was illegal there’s no way she’d be saying that. I shake my head, and then nod at my bike resting against the bench. ‘I’ll be fine, thanks.’

  The women head off together on foot, giving up on a taxi, so I’m left on my own. Just me, the lunatic traffic and the alarms.