Right There with You

by R. J. Sable

  Like the picture?

  Come out front.

  I read the message again and again. Come out front. He's here? No, no, no. I can't see him. It would be bad enough running into him in Leeds but not here, not with Jason and my brothers around us. What should I do? I couldn't exactly go and tell Jason or my brothers. My brothers couldn’t know about what Duff had done without finding out about the video and murdering Jason. Even if I could get Jason away from my brothers and tell him that Duff was here I didn't see how it would help. What could he possibly do?

  Don't keep me waiting, Jelly.

  Unless you want me to

  send the video right now.

  I guess that answers the question for me. I looked back over at the others, they were still playing football and I didn’t think anybody had noticed that I'd slipped away. With a final glance at Jason, I turned and made my way to the front of the house.

  I saw Duff as I rounded the corner of the house and felt my body tense in response to the sight of him. He looked fairly relaxed and was smiling in that revoltingly smug way that made me want to claw his eyes out. I stopped a few feet short, wary of being close to him.

  “Jelly,” he smiled, taking a step closer to me and pulling me into a hug.

  I pushed away from him. He smelt the same and it brought back unpleasant memories. I eyed him warily, not sure what to do or how to react. He frowned momentarily but quickly plastered a smile back on his face.

  “We need to talk, Jellybean.”

  He just wants to talk? Maybe he was sorry, maybe he just wanted to apologise. I breathed a sigh of relief. Why else would he have come here?

  “We can talk out back,” I said quietly, already moving towards the back garden.

  “No.” He moved quickly and grabbed my arm. He didn’t squeeze too tightly and he quickly softened his voice before speaking again. “I don't want an audience, Jelly.”

  “My brother's will wonder where I am,” I said hesitantly. I glanced up at his face and could see something in his eyes that made me uneasy. I was having trouble fighting back the flashbacks from the last time I'd seen him.

  “Jake knows you're with me,” he smiled smugly and I couldn't help frown.

  The anger seared up in my stomach at the reminder that Jake didn't care how Duff treated me and was even letting him put me through this. I sighed inwardly. That wasn't really fair, Jake didn't know everything.

  I let him guide me back into the house, his hand still on my wrist. He trailed his hand down my wrist and onto my hand, holding it in his. I didn't protest, but I didn't hold his hand back either. I was trying hard to remain passive, to give him no reason to think I'd fight back. If he tried anything I wanted to be able to catch him off guard in the way Jason had taught me.

  Duff released my hand, shutting the door behind him and sitting down on the edge of my bed. He motioned for me to sit down next to him. I hesitated briefly but did as I was told, not wanting him to get angry. I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I made sure there was a good twenty centimetres between us and focussed on Jason's duffle bag on the opposite side of the room, drawing comfort from the knowledge that he was nearby.

  He leant back slightly and began emptying his pockets onto my bedside table. He placed his keys, wallet and phone on there. His phone. I eyed it greedily whilst his head was turned. If I could get his phone I'd have no reason to play nice with him. He'd have nothing on me and I could give him the kick in the balls he so thoroughly deserved and hopefully keep him away from me forever. He turned back round to look at me and I quickly averted my gaze, not wanting him to catch me looking at it and figure out what I was intent on doing.

  “Look, Jelly,” he sighed and lay back on my bed with his arms behind his head. “I'm sorry.”

  I stared at him open mouthed. He's sorry? I didn't even know where to start replying to that so I just continued gaping at him like an idiot.

  “I may have handled things badly,” he shrugged. “I knew you were a virgin, it was wrong of me to do that.”

  What? What on earth does he mean? What did my virginity have to do with it? It was wrong to rape somebody regardless.

  “I don't understand,” I shook my head, hearing the tremor in my voice.

  “I should have been gentler, your first time should be special.”

  “I didn't want-”

  Duff cut me off, sitting up and pressing his hand over my lips gently. I panicked a little, remembering the way he pushed his hand over my mouth as he tried to force his way inside me. Stay calm, Jamie-Lea.

  “I'll make up for it, I promise.” His eyes pierced mine and there was no malicious intent, he seemed completely genuine and I questioned for the first time if he was completely compos mentis.

  “What do you mean?” I whispered, shifting away from him slightly a he went to put his hand on my knee.

  “I'll make it special for you, Jellybean.” He took my hand in his and began brushing the back of my hand with his thumb.

  My mind was racing. I couldn't take in what was happening. I needed to think of a way out of this. Think, Jamie, think.

  “You want to... to have sex with me?”

  Duff nodded and moved closer to me, sitting right by my side and looking at me unblinkingly. I could feel his breath on my skin.

  “But you hate me,” I tried to reason with him.

  “No, Jellybean,” he shook his head emphatically and put his other hand on my knee.

  My body tensed automatically in response but I forced myself to relax, needing to keep my cool.

  “I don't hate you. Sure we messed around when we were kids but we both know there's more to it than that. More to me and you.”

  I blinked back at him incredulously. Is that what he thinks? I tried to organise my thoughts, to comprehend what was happening. Doesn't he understand the depth of my dislike for him? All the horrible things he’d done to me. All those years didn't just disappear because he made a clumsy attempt to kiss me one day. They definitely didn't lessen when he tried to rape me.

  “Duff, I-”

  “I know you want it too, Jelly,” he said, his hand travelling up my leg.

  “No, please, wait.” I put my hand on his, trying to halt it's progress as it moved up my leg. I needed time to think and form a plan of action.

  “What's wrong, Jellybean?” He grinned, shifting off the bed and moving swiftly so that he was squatting over me, his hands stroking the tops of my shoulders.

  “Duff, please,” I begged, uncomfortable with how quickly I was losing control of the situation. “I have a boyfriend.” My voice was weak and pathetic and I knew I ran the risk of making him angry but it was all I could think of to say.

  “I know,” he frowned and anger flashed across his face. “I'm sure you were just trying to make me jealous and I forgive you. Let's say we're even.”

  My breath caught in my throat. He thought I was with Jason just to get at him. He must be delusional.

  “He's downstairs,” I whispered, unable to speak properly. I pushed my hands against his chest gently, willing him off of me as his scent filled my nostrils once more and bile rose in my throat.

  “So?” He shrugged, his hands moving from my shoulders down my arms and onto my waist. “He's down there and I'm here. With you. I've waited long enough to get into that tight little pussy of yours, Jelly.”

  Goosebumps broke out across my skin at his vile words. That's never going to happen.

  “I don't want to cheat on him,” I whispered, inspiration striking. “Let me break up with him first.” I prayed silently that he'd go for it. He eyed me suspiciously, scanning my face.

  “Please, Duff,” I begged. “I don't want my first time to be an act of adultery.”

  He didn't need to know I wasn't a virgin anymore. I didn't think it was news that would make him happy and, for now, it seemed safest to keep him happy. Besides, as far as I could tell, the fact that he thought I was a virgin was the only reason I wasn't strapped to the bed agai
n and being raped right now. The thought made me shiver once more.

  “Don't you want to make it special for me?” I continued, making my best attempt at smiling at him.

  “Are you trying to play nice for once, Jellybean?” He grinned, standing up and looking down at me.

  I stood up in font of him, glad to have him off of me and nodded up at him.

  He appeared contemplative for a few seconds but eventually he nodded back. “If that's what you want.” He pulled my jumper and t-shirt up quickly, revealing my simple lace bra. “It'll give you a chance to change into something sexier for me,” his finger traced the edge of my bra once more and I bit down on my tongue, fighting to keep my resolve.

  I nodded and let him back me up against the bedside table. I could feel his body pressed up against mine, the bulge in his jeans pushing into my lower abdomen as a reminder of what he'd tried to do, what he still wanted to do.

  “Give me a kiss then,” he demanded, locking me against the bedside table with his hips.

  I don't want to kiss him. I reached my hand behind me and searched the bedside table as subtly as I could, my fingers seeking his phone.

  “Don't you want to wait until later?” I said quietly.

  There it is. My fingers seized around it and I eased it gently into my back pocket before bringing my hand round to my front. I pushed gently against his chest. His lips were mere millimetres from mine and I knew I couldn't bring myself to kiss him and cheat on Jason.

  “Jelly,” Duff warned, gripping my hips tightly and digging his fingers into me.

  I whimpered slightly and he loosened his grip. “Please, I'll go and break up with Jason now, just let me do that first.” My voice shook pathetically and I hated how weak I sounded.

  He sighed and released me completely. “Fine.” He kissed my forehead gently and I fought back every instinct not to wipe my skin where his lips had touched.

  As soon as he backed off, I darted out the door, glad of the distance between us. I ran down the stairs to the kitchen and nearly laughed with relief when I found Ben there drinking a large glass of water.

  “Are you okay, Jamie?” He asked, concern on his face as he turned around to see me.

  “I am now,” I answered as I threw my arms around him.

  Ben was just the person I needed. I asked him to come with me into the lounge and sat down on the sofa with him. I handed him Duff's phone and explained as succinctly as I could what I needed him to do. I was relieved that he didn't ask too many questions. He was confident he could make the video and photos disappear for good, along with any copies he’d uploaded to the internet. I thanked him and made a beeline for the garden to find Jason, already feeling the weight lift off my shoulders.

  I spotted Jason wiping off with a towel with the rest of my brothers.

  “Hey!” He greeted as he picked me up in his arms and gave me a hug. “You look happy.”

  “I am now,” I nodded at him.

  “How come?” He looked puzzled.

  “I'll tell you later.” I glanced around at my brothers and Jason seemed to understand.

  I stayed in the bathroom with him as he cleaned up, taking in his well-sculpted torso as he pulled his t-shirt off. I felt the muscles clench within me again as I took him in. He caught me staring and a broad grin broke out across his face as he finished off. He kissed me gently and I followed him up to my room, figuring I ought to get changed into something more party appropriate.

  I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I knew it wouldn't be long before Duff realised I'd taken his phone, he was probably looking for me already, but it didn't matter, he had nothing on me now.

  “Ready?” Jason asked as I finished plaiting my hair.

  I nodded at him and did a shy twirl, trying to gauge his reaction to my tight black jeans and semi-transparent cream blouse. I'd finished off the look with some fun and chunky jewellery. I'd been aiming for something that would be conservative enough that my brothers wouldn't blow a fuse but still attractive enough that Jason's interest would peak.

  “You look gorgeous.”

  I watched his eyes travel over my body appreciatively and grinned up at him. Jason always made me feel sexy. I was so comfortable with him, so at ease with myself when he was around and it was all thanks to him.

  He held my hand as we made our way down the stairs, the noise level was pretty high even on the ground floor. I braced myself as we descended down into the den. The room was completely packed. A cursory glance helped me spot a few of my brothers spread out around the cramped room. The twins were closest so I pulled Jason's hand gently and made my way towards them.

  “Watch this,” Craig said, nodding his head towards the twins. “This is their latest move.”

  I could hear the humour in his voice and watched the twins eagerly. They began body popping in time to the music, in perfect synchronicity. I burst into fits of giggles. They looked hilarious. I couldn't help imagining them practicing their routine together, perfecting their moves. It was an incredibly cocky move to play but they managed to pull it off because they were doing it with stupid grins on their faces. I had to look away when they reached the 'wiggle' section of the song but I noticed their female company were experiencing rather the opposite effect.

  “What d'you think?” Danny grinned at me as he and Rick each wrapped an arm around the waists of one of their companions.

  I shook my head at them, still laughing, and they guided the girls away, assumedly to ply them with more alcohol.

  “Wanna dance?” Jason whispered seductively in my ear.

  I turned around and beamed back up at him. “I don't think that's a good idea.” Dancing with Jason was more like a carnal tango than a ballroom waltz. Definitely not suitable for family viewing.

  “Why not?” He pouted.

  “Because I don't think my brothers would approve of the way we dance,” I giggled.

  “I like the way we dance.” He placed his hands on my hips and moved closer behind me, guiding my movements once more. My mind protested but, as usual, my body was slave to his, following his rhythm and enjoying his warmth behind me. He bent down and began kissing my neck and I groaned as he moved his lips further up my neck and his tongue washed over my earlobe, sucking it gently into his mouth.

  I reluctantly pulled away from him, spinning around and putting my hand against his chest to hold him at arm's length. “You'll get us both in trouble,” I shouted over the music, warning him to keep his distance despite the grin on my face.

  “Worth it.” He looked so happy, one of his million dollar smiles taking my breath away.

  As if on cue, Ian appeared at Jason's side with a murderous frown on his face. I could smell beer on his breath as he spoke in my ear. I've never actually seen Ian completely drunk, and he didn't seem to be that inebriated.

  “That's enough of that,” he grunted.

  I nodded dutifully and looked down at my feet, worried he might lash out at one of us. He put his hand on Jason's shoulder and guided him away from me.

  “Grab a few empties, Jelly,” Karl ordered, appearing at my side as I watched Ian guide Jason away towards the bar.

  I nodded and made my way up to the kitchen, smiling at Ben as I passed him on the stairs. He handed me Duff's phone, nodding at me in confirmation that he'd done what I'd asked. I blinked at him appreciatively, feeling the last of the weight lift off my shoulders.

  I took a black bag from the kitchen and began collecting up the empty cans and bottles and dodging drunkards as I made my way round the room. Jason and Ben were at the bar laughing with Ian and Craig. At least they seem to be getting along. When the bag was full, I went back upstairs to put the empties at the side of the house with the dustbins.

  “There you are, Jelly,” a voice growled from behind me.

  I jumped. Duff had caught me completely off-guard. I'd been having such a nice time with Jason I'd stupidly almost forgotten he was there. Not that it mattered now.

  “Yo
u got something for me?” He snarled, looking pissed.

  I took his phone out of my pocket and handed it to him with disdain, taking care not to touch him, and turned to leave him and go back into the house.

  “Where the fuck do you think you're going?” He snarled, grabbing my arm in one hand and preventing me from leaving.

  “Let me go, Duff,” I said calmly, my mind running through everything Jason and the others had taught me. “I don't want anything to do with you.”

  “You're not going anywhere.” His face twisted into an ugly expression as he moved to pin me against the wall of the house, his spare hand pushing against my throat. He wasn't pushing so hard that it was impossible to breath, but it wasn't easy. “You think you're so fucking clever don't you?” He spat, pushing his face closer to mine.

  I didn't reply. Instead, I forced my body to relax, using the little oxygen I could draw in to keep my head straight.

  “This doesn't change anything, Jelly.”

  I kept eye contact with him, forcing my body to remain relaxed despite the fear that was coursing through my body thanks to the look of searing anger in his eyes.

  Eventually, I felt his grip relax a little against my neck and took the opportunity to slam my spare arm down over his, pulling him forwards so that he stumbled closer to me and removed his hand from my arm to steady himself. I quickly brought both hands down around his ears in a rapid motion, forcing pressure against his eardrums. His hands automatically went to his ears as he fell to the floor. Here's my chance. I jumped over him and bolted for the back door, running into the kitchen.

  I came to a stop when I got to the island, breathing hard. I looked around, there were a few people in the kitchen but none of my brothers, and no Jason. I spotted Duff following me through back door and I made to bolt to the hall intent on taking the stairs down to the den.

  Duff tackled me to the ground just as I got to the top of the stairs and I landed hard, knocking the breath out of my lungs. He shifted his weight quickly so he had me pinned underneath him, both my wrists held in one of his hands. The scenario was painstakingly familiar and I felt the panic rising in my chest. Not this time.