by Amy Sparling
“So why do we like them again?” she asks.
I heave a sigh. Sometimes I really don’t know the answer to that.
My school day is easy enough. Tutorials went really well yesterday and Jonah and I finally got caught up with the lessons my teachers are giving in class, so I breeze by today with no problems. I take notes and I focus and I mark places in the book that I don’t quite understand so Jonah can help me with them at our next tutorial session. I’m starting to breathe easier when it comes to school now. I haven’t missed any more days, so everything is going according to the plan Mrs. Reese set up for me. I might actually graduate now.
April and I eat lunch together, and I resist the urge to look over at Caleb’s table. I don’t know what I was hoping for—a Happy Birthday? A hello?—but it’s like Caleb doesn’t realize I have the same lunch as him.
It’s not until sixth period when he finally acknowledges my existence.
“There’s the birthday girl,” Caleb says as he walks up next to me in the art hallway. I can smell his cologne before I smell him, and I wonder how long we’ll need to date before I can politely tell him to lay off the stuff. One spritz is all anyone needs.
“I am officially eighteen now,” I say.
“You should go by a lottery ticket,” he says, his grin making me swoon. “And anything else you can do as an eighteen year old. Like check out a porn shop or something.”
“Ew,” I say. “Aren’t there just perverts in porn shops?”
He shrugs. “And people who just turned eighteen who are using all their new age privilege.”
I laugh. “So what time do you want to hang out tonight?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “Just text me?”
I nod. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later,” he says. Then he leans over and touches my lower back, his hand sliding down until it covers my back pocket. “Happy Birthday.”
I blush from head to toe and I watch him until he walks into his classroom.
***
My aunt Sheryl and a few of my cousins text me Happy Birthday. But by the time I get to the store after school, I’m pretty sure my mom has forgotten that today her only child turns eighteen. She’s wearing her reading glasses and she’s bent over the inventory list, highlighting items as she goes along.
“Hey,” I say, dropping my backpack behind the front counter. “Busy day?”
She snorts. “Hardly. Not a single customer since lunch.”
I watch her for a moment, wondering if she’ll suddenly remember. I don’t expect a present or anything, since money is so tight right now. But I do want some kind of acknowledgement. She doesn’t say anything at all though, she just crunches her brows together and stares at the paperwork as if it’s the inventory’s problem that no customers come into the store.
Mom has a lot on her mind, and that’s what I tell myself as the next hour goes by and she still hasn’t realized it’s my birthday. I straighten some items on the shelves and look up more books to order for the store. It’s only four-thirty, but Caleb hasn’t yet replied to the text I sent him an hour ago.
Me: Gigi’s cupcakes at 5?
I stare at the text, wondering if I should say something else. At 4:45, I send another one.
Me: Headed to Gigi’s! Meet me there!
“Hey, Mom?” I ask. She makes some kind of noise, but doesn’t look up from the books.
“Since the store isn’t busy, can I head out for an hour or so? I’m meeting a friend for cupcakes.”
The word cupcakes should trigger her into remembering it’s my birthday. But she just nods and says, “Sure. I’ll call you if we miraculously get busy, but I’m betting that won’t happen.”
So yeah, my feelings are a little hurt that my own mother forgot my birthday, but I’m starting to worry about her. She’s so preoccupied with the store and so stressed out all the time about money. Once stress makes you forget birthdays, something should be done. I need to find a way to save The Magpie once and for all, so Mom can rest. She could take a vacation and enjoy life again without worrying about paying the bills.
I walk down to Gigi’s Cupcakes and order the birthday cake flavored cupcake. I get a coffee as well, and I sit in a corner booth and eat them because by 5:30, I’m starting to think Caleb isn’t going to show. I debate texting him again.
I finish my cupcake and wander down the boardwalk to the bonfire on the beach, but none of the benches have Caleb sitting there waiting on me. I go back to Gigi’s an hour later and order another cupcake, this time the double chocolate one with a mound of icing on top that’s taller than the cake itself.
I eat the whole thing.
Still no text from Caleb.
Happy Birthday to me. Ugh.
Mom has probably closed up the shop by now, but I walk back there to get my backpack. The lights are still on, the OPEN sign still facing outward, even though it’s fifteen minutes past closing. I guess Mom forgot about closing time just like she forgot my birthday.
I come to a stop on the boardwalk just a few feet before the entrance to the Magpie. I stare up at the setting sun, look around at the stores, half of them now owned by Jack Brown Properties.
Jack Brown is trying to ruin my mother’s business, and his son just ruined my birthday. I check my phone again, just in case, but there are no new messages. Tears well up in my eyes. I blink and they roll down my cheeks. I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself, but here I am, doing just that.
Some birthday.
Congratulations, Natalie. You picked a total asshole to ask out on a date.
Chapter 21
I don’t want Mom to see me like this, so I dry my eyes. I think about walking home, but I’m not really in the mood to spend a forty-five minute walk thinking about how Caleb stood me up and totally ruined my birthday.
With a deep breath, I push open the door to The Magpie and turn the OPEN sign to CLOSED.
“Natalie!” Mom says from the front desk. She rushes around it and sweeps me into a hug. “I’m so sorry, baby! I can’t believe I forgot your birthday!”
She squeezes me so hard all the air leaves my lungs and I struggle to draw in another breath. “It’s okay,” I mumble.
“No, it’s not! I’m so mad at myself.” Mom pulls back, holding me at arms’ length while she looks me over. “You’re so grown up and mature now, sweetheart. Let’s close up and go get dinner, okay? I’ll make it up to you.”
I shake my head. “Mom, we can’t afford restaurant food right now.”
“Not another word, Nat! We can afford it for your birthday. It’s a special night.”
“Seriously, Mom. I just had two of Gigi’s cupcakes so I’m just really not into it.”
Mom puts a hand to her chest and frowns at me. “But I feel so horrible, sweetheart! It’s my daughter’s birthday and I’ve been so absorbed in work, I completely forgot.”
I shrug. “You remembered eventually. That’s all that matters.”
Mom frowns. “Actually… I didn’t. Not at first.” Guilt lines form in her forehead and I give her a weird look.
“But…you did remember. It’s still my birthday.”
She shakes her head. “Your friend came by to see you and he made me realize what day it is.”
My heart lifts. “Caleb?” So maybe he didn’t ditch me tonight after all. Maybe his phone broke or he lost my number or something. I glance out at the boardwalk. He could be out there waiting for me right now.
“Caleb?” Mom says, her voice high-pitched. “You have two boyfriends now?”
My cheeks flush. “I don’t have any boyfriends, Mom.”
Mom walks to the counter and leans down behind it. When she stands back up, she’s holding a purple vase of sunflowers and red roses. My jaw drops.
“This boy’s name was Jonah,” she says, giving me a look like I should be ashamed of myself for not knowing which boy came to see me.
It feels like my legs are numb as I walk toward the counter, where a bea
utiful display of flowers are waiting for me.
“He also got you this,” Mom says, setting down a small cake box. I open the lid and find a personal sized chocolate cake. White icing letters on top say Happy Birthday Nat. My stomach twists in a painful way. Jonah did all of this for me?
I pull out the card attached to the flowers.
Have a wonderful 18th!
Your favorite study geek,
Jonah
My lip quivers and I bite down on it. “Mom, do you mind if I...?”
“Yes,” she says with a laugh. “Go find the boy. He seemed so disappointed that you weren’t here when he stopped by.” Mom winks at me. “He was cute.”
I flush a deep red and grab my phone from my back pocket, rushing outside the store to call him so my mom won’t overhear.
He picks up on the second ring, and I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Hello, birthday girl.”
“Thank you for the flowers,” I say, feeling like a simple thank you isn’t enough. “And the cake. It’s adorable.”
“You’re welcome,” he says. “The cake is from Mary’s Bakery off sixth street. My family gets one for me every year on my birthday. They’re really good.”
I bite my lip. “How did you know it was my birthday?”
“Your ChemXLabs password. Zero four, zero three.”
I laugh. “I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“We’ve only logged in to ChemXLabs like a hundred times,” he says with a laugh. “I’m sorry I missed you today. You said you worked all the time, so I thought you’d be there.”
I should have been there. I shouldn’t have been out waiting on a guy who would just stand me up. I should have been at the store where I said I’d be. Then I could have seen Jonah.
“I’m sorry,” I say with a sigh. “I’m normally there. Today was just…an off day.”
There’s a silence for a few seconds and I start talking because I’m not ready to get off the phone. “So all that talk about wanting to buy a book was just a ruse, huh?”
“Yes,” he says. “I mean…I wanted to look at the books too, but your mom was there and I talked to her and I just felt awkward so I left.”
“Oh no… What did my mom say? Please tell me it wasn’t embarrassing?”
He laughs. “Oh it was so embarrassing. She told me every humiliating story about you that she could think of.”
“What!”
He laughs. “I’m just playing. She was really nice. I was just nervous. It’s super awkward bringing flowers for someone’s daughter. And then she freaked, because apparently, she forgot your birthday.”
“Yeah…only you and April remembered,” I say. Technically Caleb remembered today, but he also blew me off so I won’t count that. “The flowers are so beautiful. Thank you so much, Jonah. I’m so lucky you’re my friend. You’ve saved my birthday.”
There’s another long silence, and then some idiot on the beach screams out like he’s howling at the moon. His buddies laugh, and the weird thing is that I can hear the same thing through Jonah’s phone.
“Wait…where are you?” I ask.
“I’m on the beach. My mom’s having her book club tonight and it’s like six middle-aged ladies who drink wine and try to embarrass me every time they see me. I make an effort to stay away on book club nights.”
“Where on the beach?” I say. “Can I come see you?”
“Um, sure. I’m by the bonfire.”
“Give me five minutes,” I say, and then I hang up. I tell Mom I’ll walk home tonight and she takes my cake and flowers home with her in the car. After we lock up, I comb my fingers through my hair and check my reflection in the glass window of the shop. There’s not much I can do looks-wise right now, but I’m okay. I’d dressed up for Caleb, after all.
Speaking of Caleb, I check my phone again and nothing. I should be hurt, I guess, but I’m really just pissed. Pissed at Caleb for lying to me, and pissed at myself for going after a guy like him.
The setting sun casts an orange-red glow on the ocean, and it illuminates the golden sand beneath my feet. The bonfire is about ten feet wide and it’s usually burning every night during the summer, thanks to the college frat boys who tend to it. I find Jonah sitting on a beach towel, wearing khaki shorts and a blue and white plaid button up shirt. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and I’m really liking this look on him.
When he sees me, he smiles, and I smile too. “Hey.”
“Hi,” I say, feeling shy for the first time ever. He slides over so there’s room on his oversized beach towel.
“Want to sit with me?”
I sit next to him and watch as the flames from the bonfire dance off his face. “Why are you out here by yourself?” I ask.
He shrugs and leans back on his hands. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
He shrugs again. I lean over and nudge him in the shoulder with my own. “I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking,” I say. Sometimes, it still feels like it used to back when we first started tutoring and I could mess with him and not feel awkward. Right now is one of those times.
“What are you thinking?” he asks. It could be my imagination, but I think his eyes flit to my lips before looking back at the bonfire.
“I’m thinking that I wish I had done things differently when we first met.”
“Like pay attention?” he says sarcastically. I shove him with my shoulder again.
“No.”
“Like do your extra credit worksheets more often so you wouldn’t have so many still left to do by now?”
I roll my eyes. “No, Jonah.”
“Then what?” he says, his eyes meeting mine.
The fire dances off his face, and I know this is one of those moments that will require a huge amount of courage.
“Like get to know you,” I say. “Like be your friend instead of think of you as the smart guy enemy.”
“And what would that have done?” he asks, his voice lower.
I shrug. “Maybe things could have done differently. Maybe I wouldn’t just be your friend.” I say the last word like it annoys me.
“What’s wrong with being friends?” he asks, each word he says slow and deliberate.
“Jonah…” I stare down at my hands as they smooth out the towel on the sand. “I think you know what I’m talking about. As soon as I realized I liked you, I’d already screwed everything up.”
“Maybe,” he says. “But it wasn’t irreversible damage.”
I look at him, and he’s looking at me. He seems closer than before, his head tipped toward mine. I can smell his shampoo, see the flecks of gold in his eyes as he leans closer to me. “Maybe we can start over,” he says softly.
He leans toward me, so close I can I can see his lip tremble as he draws in a breath. I’m moving too, tipping my mouth up to meet his as he brings his lips, slightly parted, to mine.
My heart pounds, and my lips warm as they press against his mouth, pausing for just a second before he deepens the kiss. My whole body warms and aches to touch him. I want to wrap my arms around his neck, tangle my hands in his hair, press my skin against his.
But Jonah’s kiss is all he gives me. His hands stay rooted to the beach towel as if he’s trying to control himself. When the kiss ends, his face stays close, his forehead pressing against mine. He exhales softly, his eyes closed. My lips tingle, desperately wanting to kiss him again.
“You said something about starting over?” I whisper.
Jonah smiles and it reaches all the way to his eyes. “Yeah,” he says, reaching up and brushing my hair behind my ear. “We should start over.”
I sit up and hold out my hand. “Hi, I’m Natalie. I think we go to school together.”
He shakes my hand. “I’m Jonah. I think I’m your tutor.”
I laugh and he doesn’t let go of my hand, he just slides his fingers into mine and then pulls our intertwined hands against his chest. “Now that the introductions are
over,” he says, bringing my hand up to his lips. “Can we kiss again?”
I grin. “That sounds like a great way to get to know each other.”
Chapter 22
I barely sleep at all. After our make out session on the beach, Jonah drove me home and kissed me goodnight. Now, I lay awake in bed replaying those few minutes over and over in my head. He’d grinned at me, his face glowing from the dome light in his Lexus. I had my passenger door open, my foot on the ground, but I wasn’t ready to leave the car yet.
“So,” he’d said after kissing me softly on the lips. “Tomorrow we go back to school.”
“Well, it is Thursday,” I said. “So that sounds about right.”
He grinned. “Will everything be different now?”
Now that we’ve kissed, he meant, even though he didn’t say it. I nodded. “Yes.”
“Is that a good thing?”
I could see the hesitation behind his eyes, the momentary panic that maybe our kissing excursion was a bad, bad idea. But after the few weeks I’ve had getting to know him, and realizing how stupid I’d been in liking some asshole like Caleb, I knew it wasn’t a bad idea.
It was a perfect idea.
“It’s a really good thing,” I said.
And then, because Jonah is not at all like Caleb and the other guys who treat girls like shit, Jonah had texted me goodnight.
I grab my phone from my nightstand and read it again.
Jonah: Goodnight :)
My heart floods with warm mushy feelings every time I read it. But now it’s almost one in the morning, and I desperately need to sleep so I have enough energy to stay awake tomorrow morning. Somehow, I manage to fall asleep, and before I know it, my alarm is buzzing and it’s Thursday morning, and it’s time to face another day at school.
As I’m getting dressed—and spending a little too much time on my appearance for Jonah’s sake—my phone beeps. I set down my flat iron.
April: Migraine… kill me… not going to school…