My Stepbrother, My Lover

by Ward, Alice

  “So, you had a good week darling?” Mom asked, patting me on the hand. “We were disappointed when you couldn’t make it to the cake tasting.”

  I’d canceled on the cake tasting at the last minute. After my emotional episode at the bridal shop, I’d managed to pull myself together and keep a smile on my face for the rest of the weekend. But as soon as we got home, my façade crumbled. I longed for the kind of happiness I saw in my mother. But I couldn’t imagine having it with anyone other than the one man I could never have. I felt torn between my desire to see Mom happy and my desperate need for Jackson. I spent the week locked in my room, avoiding reality. Aside from my tutoring sessions, the engagement party was the first time I’d left Lowell House.

  “I’m feeling much better now, Mom,” I assured her. “I’m sorry I missed the tasting.”

  We stopped in front of a partially opened door. “It’s alright, sweetheart. You didn’t miss much. We went with the standard vanilla and chocolate. I’m just glad you’re feeling better and that you were able to make it today. Here’s the restroom. Join us out back when you’re finished.”

  I untangled my arm from hers and stepped through the doorway. I flipped on the light and was blinded for a moment. As my eyes adjusted to the harsh light, I realized that every inch of the room was either white or gold. Massive glass fixtures hung above the wall length mirror and light reflected off of the white granite countertop. The wall paper trend continued in the restroom, this time white satin with intricate gold leaf details.

  This was probably considered the height of sophistication when they put it in… but why hasn’t anyone updated it? Surely Jack realizes it looks terrible.

  As distracting as the décor was, I had more important things on my mind. I pulled my phone from the pocket of my black linen pants and called Lauren.

  “Hey Kennedy, we’re almost there,” she said the moment she answered.

  “Okay… so you’re close?”

  “Lewis’s GPS says we’ll be there in four minutes.”

  I breathed an audible sigh of relief. I wasn’t ready to face Jackson. It was getting harder and harder to hide my feelings for him and I needed my friends for support.

  “Are you alright?” Lauren asked in a much lower voice. She was worried about me, but she didn’t want Lewis and Becky to realize it.

  “I’m fine, just looking forward to seeing you,” I replied, trying to sound cheerful.

  “Alright, we’ll see you in just a minute.”

  “I’ll meet you out front.” I ended the call and slid the phone back into my pocket. I looked into the mirror and gave myself a silent pep talk.

  I can do this. Mom has finally found someone she actually wants to be with, I won’t get in the way of that. I’ll have plenty of other chances for happiness. If I just treat Jackson like my brother, then soon I’ll FEEL like he’s my brother.

  With renewed resolve, I tamed the flyaway hairs around my face, put on a fresh coat of lip gloss, and went out to greet my friends.

  CHAPTER 4

  “This place is insane Kennedy,” Becky gushed with a martini in hand.

  “I feel like we’re in a movie!” Lauren squealed.

  “I’m sorry I disappeared on you. Mom and Jack insisted on introducing me to everyone they know,” I told them as I approached their table.

  Lewis pulled out the chair next to him. “That’s alright, we knew you’d have to do some family stuff. We’ve been drinking and people watching. Join us.”

  As I took my seat, the waitress who’d taken my glass in the kitchen spotted me and rushed to the table. “Can I get you a drink, Ms. Nightingale?”

  “I’ll just have an iced tea, please,” I replied. I already felt unstable. The last thing I wanted was to get drunk and make a fool of myself.

  “Yes, Ms. Nightingale. Would you like me to send over an appetizer tray, or were you able to eat while you were mingling?”

  Lewis snorted lightly beside me and I knew he was trying to hold back laughter. I glanced around the table and saw amused smirks on everyone’s faces. I knew the scene was ridiculous, but I was hungry and I didn’t care.

  “A tray would be great, thank you. A sample of everything please, and enough for the table.”

  “Of course ma’am.” She nodded and disappeared. My friends broke out in uncontrollable laughter.

  “Oh my god, Kennedy. That was surreal.” Becky grinned.

  “Is there anything else I can get you Ms. Nightingale?” Lewis asked with a friendly tease. “Perhaps you’d like a massage? Or a table side serenade?”

  “I know, I know,” I shushed them. “I’m never going to get used to this. I think someone assigned that waitress to me for the night. She keeps popping up everywhere I go. It’s creepy.”

  “Like I said, this is all surreal,” Becky said, gesturing to the scene before us.

  My friends had chosen a table at the edge of the party. We were at the top of a slight incline, the perfect vantage point to observe the other guests. To our right, people mingled and drank poolside while servers moved through the crowd with trays of appetizers and champagne. To our left, a team of chefs were preparing steaks, lobster, and salmon in a pop-up outdoor kitchen. Directly in front of us, a string quartet played soft classical music.

  “It does feel like we’re in a movie,” I agreed as a waiter approached balancing two trays of food.

  “Ms. Nightingale,” he said as he placed the trays on the table. “Amanda said you might be hungry. Dinner will be served in half an hour. If you’d like something else before then, please let me know.” He moved to distribute the tiny plates, but I held up a hand to stop him.

  “Thank you… what is your name?”

  “Garth, ma’am.”

  “Thank you, Garth. You can leave the trays. We’ll just grab what we want.”

  Garth nodded and left the table. Lewis immediately moved to grab all the raw oysters.

  “You ladies don’t like these, right?” he asked before tossing the first one back.

  Becky and I shook our heads while Lauren turned up her nose. “Eat all the slimy things you want. I’m taking your gazpacho.”

  “Deal.”

  Amanda returned with my iced tea and reminded me that she’d be close by if I needed anything else. I thanked her again through bites of stuffed zucchini blossom.

  My friends and I ate in silence for a while. In a matter of minutes, our plates were clean and Garth reappeared at the table to retrieve the dirty dishes.

  “Was everything to your liking ma’am? Would you like a fresh drink?”

  “Everything was wonderful and my drink is fine,” I replied with a smile. “My friends and I have some… sensitive issues to discuss. It would be helpful if we were left alone for a while.”

  “Yes ma’am, of course. I’ll let the rest of the staff know. Would you like us to hold your meals?”

  “That won’t be necessary. In fact, I’ll be eating at the family table. Once I’ve joined my mother and Jack, you can come back and check on these guys.”

  “Yes ma’am.” He nodded and disappeared.

  “You’re a natural at bossing people around, Kennedy,” Becky teased.

  I blushed. “It’s easier to just play along, I guess.”

  “What’s this ‘sensitive issue’ we need to discuss?” Lauren asked, a suspicious grin spreading across her face.

  “There’s not one. I just wanted to be able to talk for more than ninety seconds without being asked if I need anything.”

  “That’s what I thought.” She smiled and clinked her glass to mine.

  “You know who seems to love the VIP treatment? Your new brother,” Lewis said, nodding toward the crowd.

  Jackson looked striking in khaki pants, a pin stripped button-up, and a blue blazer. He stood near the pool with a group of his fraternity brothers, a United States Senator, and a former Dean of Harvard. He didn’t even look at the server as he grabbed a fresh glass of champagne from a passing tray.

&
nbsp; “Jackson grew up like this. He doesn’t know anything but the VIP treatment,” I told them.

  “Have you met Jackson the First yet?” Lewis asked. “I was hoping he’d be here, but I haven’t seen him.”

  “I haven’t met him yet. Jack said he’s been overseas on business, but I don’t know what kind of business he’s up to now that he’s off of the board of Montgomery Enterprises,” I answered Lewis without looking at him. My eyes were still fixed on Jackson; as much as it hurt to look at him, I couldn’t bring myself to turn away.

  “He really is a spoiled brat, isn’t he?” Lauren asked.

  The statement startled me and I turned to face her. She looked me in the eyes and tilted her head back towards Jackson.

  “I saw you staring at him. Isn’t that what you were thinking?”

  I turned back to Jackson and watched as he signaled a server and barked out an order, all without turning away from his friends. I sighed. “I guess I forgot what he can be like when he’s among ‘his kind’.”

  “You’re lucky things never got serious between the two of you,” Becky piped up. “I know he was on his best behavior around you, but his true colors would have come out eventually. Could you imagine being with someone who acts so… entitled?”

  I shook my head. “No, not at all,” I lied. The truth was that being with Jackson was all I could imagine. I was convinced that the schmoozing, spoiled man in front of me wasn’t the real Jackson. The real Jackson was the man who taught underprivileged kids how to skateboard and took the time to find out all of my favorite things before our first date.

  “Kennedy…? Kennedy.” Lauren shook my arm softly and I realized I’d missed something while I was lost in my thoughts.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “The violinist just asked everyone to take their seats for dinner. Don’t you have to sit with your family?” Lewis asked.

  “Oh, yes,” I replied. Knots tied in my stomach as I watched Jackson move to the head table. “Maybe I don’t have to. I could just stay here with you guys.”

  “Kennedy, it’s your mom’s big night. I think it’s important to her that you sit with the family,” Lauren reminded me.

  If she knew what I’m thinking about, she’d want me as far away from Jackson as possible.

  “You’re right.” I took a deep breath to center myself and then stood from the table. “I’ll see you after dessert.”

  I walked across the lawn, thankful I’d worn my comfortable flats instead of the stilettos Lauren had tried to loan me. It had rained a few days before, and the grass was soft beneath my feet. When I arrived at the head table, the only empty seat was between Jack and Jackson.

  “Kennedy, there you are.” Jack stood to greet me with a proud, paternal grin. “I was just telling Florence about your plans to apply to Harvard Law. Florence edited the Law Review back in her day.”

  I turned to Jack’s middle-aged cousin, who I’d been introduced to a few hours before. She sat on the opposite side of the table between her husband and my mother. “That’s very impressive,” I told her. “I’d love to pick your brain a bit when it’s time for me to fill out my application.”

  Florence glanced from me to my mother. By the look on her face, you’d have thought she smelled something rancid. “Yes well, if I have time, I suppose that can be arranged,” she said with disdain. If anyone else at the table noticed her tone, they didn’t act like it.

  “Sit down, Kennedy. Our meals will be out shortly,” Jack insisted.

  I obeyed, careful to cross my ankles and keep my elbows off the table. I felt like I was being critiqued and I was determined to pass the Montgomery family’s inspection, out of spite if nothing else. Who were they to think they were better than my mom and me?

  “You look nice this evening Kennedy,” Jackson told me. I felt his hand hover over my thigh and I swatted it away.

  “Thank you, Jackson. You look nice as well. How has your summer been? I take it you’ve moved home for the rest of break?” I asked without looking at him. I knew that if we made eye contact, my resolve would melt and my feelings for him would be clear to everyone at the table.

  “No, I’m still spending most of my time at the Sigma house. I came over last night to talk over some things with my dad. We had a few drinks so I crashed here.”

  “I’ve tried to keep him at home, but the boy just loves that frat house,” Jack told his family with a chuckle. “He’d probably stay there for the rest of his life if I kept footing the bills.”

  “I don’t know,” Mom said in a teasing voice. “I think Jackson and Kennedy will both be moving home before too long.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Not only was my mom referring to the Montgomery mansion as my home, but she also wanted me to move in and live with her, Jack, and Jackson like one big happy family. The idea was almost too much to take.

  “What are you talking about?” Jackson asked, his voice reflecting my own anxiety.

  Amanda and Garth arrived at our table, each bearing large serving trays. They silently passed out meals and I realized the name tags on our place settings were color coded. Mom, Jackson, and I all had steak and lobster. Everyone else at the table had gone for the seafood only meal and I regretted the choice when I saw the grilled salmon.

  Jack spotted me looking at his plate and gave me a knowing smile. “Why don’t we share our meals, Kennedy? I see that you ordered your steak medium rare, that’s exactly how I like it. I’d love to have a few bites, if you’ll trade me for some of my fish?”

  “That sounds perfect, Jack. Thank you,” I accepted, grateful for his kindness. I cut my meat in half while Jack deposited all but a few bites of his salmon onto my plate. He took the steak, turned to my mom, and grinned.

  “You did a great job with her, Gloria. Not only is she brilliant, but she also knows the proper way to eat a piece of meat,” Jack told Mom.

  “You two can keep your bloody meat,” Jackson told him, cutting into his well-done steak. “I want an answer to my question. Why would Kennedy and I want to move home soon?”

  Mom gave Jack a mischievous grin. “Can I tell them?”

  “Go ahead,” he replied indulgently.

  “Jack gave me one of my wedding gifts.” She clasped her hands together, clearly excited. “He’s letting me restore the house. We’ve already met with one of Boston’s best architects, and I’ve hired a decorating firm that specializes in historical homes. In a few months, this place will be standing tall the way it was intended to. We’re going to let you kids design your own rooms.”

  Jack nodded. “Do whatever you like and don’t worry about the cost. Gloria and I want both of you to feel like you have a place of your own to come home to.”

  Mom started describing her plans for the renovations and I studied the Montgomery’s reactions. They all wore similar looks of disapproval and disgust, and it was beyond clear what they were all thinking. They saw my mom and me as outsiders, threats to their perfect existence. The wedding was still weeks away and Mom was already spending the family fortune. They saw her as a gold digger and me as just another obligation for Jack to throw money at. They’d never take the time to get to know us and learn that Mom couldn’t care less about money. They’d never understand how important us being a family was to her, or what I’d given up so her dream could come true. I lost my appetite and pushed my plate away.

  “They don’t seem excited, Gloria,” Jack said, eyeing the table

  I looked to my right and saw that Jackson had pushed his food away as well. He sat rigid in his chair, his jaw clenched and his face full of rage. I knew what my problem was, but I had no idea why Jackson was so upset.

  “Are you alright, Son?” Jack asked in a soft, tentative voice.

  “How could you do this?” Jackson replied. He was obviously furious, but his voice remained calm and even. I knew he was doing his best not to cause a scene, but I didn’t understand what was going on.

  “The inside of the house is o
utdated, Jackson,” Jack replied patiently. “It’s time — it’s past time — we make some changes.”

  Jackson balled his hands into fists. I looked from him to the rest of his family and realized they were all on the edge of their seats. Florence and the other cousins wore looks of smug satisfaction. Mom looked as confused as I felt, but Jack’s solemn, patient face told me he’d expected Jackson’s reaction.

  “Jackson, dear. What’s wrong?” Mom asked.

  Everyone at the table put down their silverware, no longer even trying to hide the fact that they were listening with rapt attention.

  “Nothing, Gloria. Nothing at all,” he snapped. “Like Dad said, it’s time to make changes. He’s certainly done more than his fair share of changing lately. Suddenly, he’s a family man. Suddenly, he cares about someone else enough to stick around for more than a few days at a time. You’re a hell of a woman, Gloria. You’ve managed to achieve the impossible. But I’ll be damned if you lay one fucking hand on this house.”

  “Jackson!” Jack scolded his son. His face was red and I knew he was embarrassed by the outburst. “That’s quite enough. Gloria is trying to make this a happy home for all of us. I won’t tolerate the way you’re speaking to her. Apologize now.”

  Mom gave me a desperate glance and I shrugged my shoulders to let her know that I didn’t understand what was going on any better than she did. Jack and Jackson glared at each other as I sat helplessly between them.

  “Apologize? Or what? Are you going to kick me out, the same way you did my mother?”

  “Jackson Forrest Montgomery the Third, that’s not what happened and you know it. Tonight is about celebrating the future. Please don’t drag up the ugly past.”

  Jackson wasn’t calming down. If anything, he was becoming more upset with each moment that passed. “It’s bad enough that you’re treating Gloria better than you ever treated Mom. But redoing the house is crossing the line and I won’t stand for it. It’s all I have left of her, I won’t have you tossing everything out and pretending that she never existed.”