Stand-in: Take 3 of the Kanyon and Daylen Series

by K. B. Draper

  “Got ‘em,” Theo said triumphantly. “In record time, too.”

  “Great. Thanks.” Daylen took the papers from Theo’s hand and began studying the addresses. “All of these are pretty close to the studio,” Daylen commented.

  Theo reached over her, flipping to the back page. “I mapped you a convenient route.”

  Daylen looked at the map littered with red dots labeled one, two, three, etc. “Nice.” She showed Kanyon. “We’ve got several stops. Head out now?”

  Kanyon nodded. “Theo?”

  “Ralph and I are kind of hungry and I got some things I want to do. Can we stay here?”

  Kanyon looked at Ralph, who walked around to stand in front of the refrigerator. She glanced at Daylen. “You good with that?”

  “Fine by me. We’ll swing by and pick you up before we head to the studio?”

  “It’s all good. I can catch a ride, us dudes are resourceful,” Theo said, patting Ralph on the head.

  Daylen let out a little chuckle. “Okay. Well, if you dudes have a problem, give us a call.” Daylen paused at the back door. “Hey, was Aunt Ruby upstairs?”

  “Nope. I looked in her office to say hi, but nada.”

  Daylen looked at the ceiling as if she had X-ray vision. “That’s so weird. I haven’t seen or been able to get ahold of her for a couple of days.”

  “Maybe she took a vacation,” Theo offered as he opened the refrigerator.

  “She would’ve told me.”

  “Maybe she ran off and joined a yoga cult,” Kanyon offered.

  Daylen gave her an unimpressed look. “A yoga cult?”

  “Can you explain why else people would get in spandex, bow all weird, and go around chanting Namaste?”

  “It’s like a greeting,” Theo offered from the fridge.

  “Greetings to the divine God of weird animal poses maybe,” Kanyon muttered.

  “Hey, Daylen, can Ralph and I split this?” Theo held out a plate of leftover roast.

  “Go for it. She’s cooking. I guess I’ll take that as a sign that she’s still alive.” Daylen grabbed her bottled water and the information that Theo had printed out. “Ready to start on this?”

  “Yep. Plus, we should probably get back to the car before Blue starts chewing on your steering wheel.”

  “Good point. Thanks again, Theo.” She waved the pages at him. “If you see Aunt Ruby, tell her to call me.”

  “Will do,” he replied through a mouthful of roast.

  Twenty minutes later, Kanyon, Daylen, and a still pouting Blue arrived at their first destination. Blue sat up between the seats, her mood instantly changed from brooding to brut. “It’s obvious that I’m the bad cop, so how are you two sissies going to play this?”

  Kanyon lifted a brow to Daylen.

  “Remind me why we let her come along?” Daylen asked.

  “Self-imposed punishment for a past life,” Kanyon offered.

  Out on the sidewalk, Kanyon looked at Blue. “We’ll play it like this. You do that menacing stare that you do and intimidate the guy. If he doesn’t play nice with Daylen, then she can tag you in.”

  “Cool.” Blue punched a fist into her palm.

  Daylen rolled her eyes. “Okay.” She glanced at Theo’s print out. “We’re looking for Mark P. in apartment C.”

  “Just FYI, if this geek doesn’t spill the goods, I just built a fully-functional torture chamber behind my house,” Blue said, cracking her knuckles.

  Kanyon stopped. “You said you were building an herb garden.”

  “Yeah. I did. Right next to my torture chamber.”

  “Oh, well good, at least we can fend off the neighbor’s complaints with some oregano.”

  “Yeah, not that kind of herb garden,” Blue stated, then headed for the door.

  Daylen knocked as Kanyon held up a finger to Blue. “Be nice.”

  “You said I could be menacing?” Blue protested.

  “Be menacing behind the disguise of nice so you can throw him off IF Daylen gives you a signal.”

  “Nice, yet menacing, until Daylen gives me the green light for ass whipping. Got it.” Blue rolled her shoulders.

  Daylen knocked again. This time Kanyon heard movement inside. A young, pimply-faced guy who looked as if he was still feeling the effects of last night’s outing opened the door. Kanyon immediately recognized him from the “BYTE ME” T-shirt she’d seen him wearing last night. She normally wouldn’t have paid much attention to that kind of thing but last night a DDD stripper had been straddling him, her mouth attached to his … well everywhere, apparently taking his T-shirt literally, or was that figuratively? He squinted, raising a hand to shade his eyes from the hallway light. “Yeah?”

  “Mark?” Daylen asked gently, as the poor guy was obviously fighting one heck of a hangover.

  “Yes.” He flinched as if his own voice hurt his ears.

  “We were hoping we could talk–” Daylen’s sentence was cut off as a pint-size flash of light passed her, tackled Mark, and took them both over the arm of the nearby couch. Daylen and Kanyon rushed in to pull Blue off, but stopped as they realized Blue wasn’t throttling the guy as they’d assumed, but instead she’d wrapped herself around him and was kissing him. Repeatedly.

  “Exactly what kind of signal did you give her?” Kanyon asked.

  “I didn’t.” Daylen tilted her head. “Is she …?”

  Kanyon was holding out her phone, recording Blue and her impromptu make-out session. “This is awesome.” Kanyon laughed.

  “We should get her off him.” Daylen watched in horrid fascination.

  “Give it a few more seconds and I won’t have to do my laundry for a month. Or dishes.”

  Daylen turned to Kanyon, confused, then saw Kanyon smiling widely as she continued to video Blue. She backhanded Kanyon across the bicep. “You’re horrible.”

  “She filled my pool with red dye and floating eyeballs.” She zoomed in as Blue began nibbling on the kid’s ear. “While I was in it.”

  Daylen laughed. “Okay. Five more seconds.”

  In four, Blue leaned up. “I love you. I want your babies. I want to make you homemade donuts before you go to work every morning. I’ll make you lunch with little cute sandwiches.” Blue started to lift her shirt.

  “And that’s a wrap.” Kanyon shoved her phone in her pocket.

  Both Daylen and Kanyon grabbed an arm and lifted Blue off the guy. Mark’s eyes were the size of saucers and his mouth looked like he had eaten a black magic marker with Blue’s lipstick all over it.

  “Let me go. Let me go. I love him. I need him.” She lowered her voice and growled, “I want him.”

  “Try to control yourself, tiger.” Kanyon picked Blue up by her waist and carried her back to the door.

  Daylen moved to the couch and helped the still stunned Mark sit up. “You okay?”

  He rubbed a hand across his chest. “She hurt my nipples.”

  “I’m really sorry about that. She doesn’t usually act– She’s usually more well-behav–. Yeah, sorry. We totally should’ve left her locked in the car.”

  Blue was fighting Kanyon, though it took little effort on Kanyon’s part to hold the hundred and ten-pound wiggling love worm. “Let me go. I need my Boo. I love him.” She tried to throw herself toward him, but Kanyon had her by her chain belt. Blue leapt for freedom and went parallel instead. She swung at the end of Kanyon’s grasp still reaching for her man. “Boo, they can’t keep me from you.”

  “Why don’t I take her out to the car?” Kanyon asked.

  “Please do, but give me just one second.”

  Kanyon paused as Daylen got out her phone and snapped her own picture of Blue as she dangled like a love-struck, punk rock, deviant cupid puppet from Kanyon’s grip. “I hate doing laundry too.”

  Kanyon smiled. “You got this?” She gave a head nod in the direction of the still in shock Mark.

  Daylen gave the guy a quick glance. “I think I can handle him.”

  Fifteen mi
nutes later, Daylen came out of the apartment to Kanyon leaning on the rear fender of the car. Daylen looked around, but didn’t see Blue. “Where’s our love-torn Juliet?”

  Kanyon patted the rear fender.

  Daylen raced forward. “You put her in the trunk?”

  “I warned her if she said Boo one more time.”

  “Kanyon, you can’t go putting people in trunks.”

  “It’s an SUV, so it’s technically not a trunk, it’s a spacious cargo hold with a cloth, pull out, top thing.”

  “Give me the keys.”

  Kanyon threw her the keys. “You can let her out, but I’m warning you.”

  Daylen rolled her eyes as she hit the unlock button. She lifted the door to see Blue using her black eyeliner to write I heart Boo all over her arms as she talked to herself. “Boo. Boo. Boooo-booo. I love you. They can’t keep us apart Boo. Our love transcends time and social coolness. Boo, where art thou Boo.” Daylen shut the hatch when Blue began to sing Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe” but instead, replacing every babe with boo.

  “Told you.”

  Daylen tossed the keys back to Kanyon. “Next stop?”

  Halfway to their next destination, Blue’s love trance began to wear off. They pulled over and released her when the love songs transitioned into threats of bodily harm and after-death hauntings. It took another five minutes and Kanyon showing her the smack down, or the mack-down video as Kanyon now lovingly dubbed it, before Blue’s threats of calling the cops for kidnapping and gang-graffiti-ing her arms stopped. She was now sitting in the backseat with her clean arms crossed saying, “Give me your phone” repeatedly every tenth of a mile and Kanyon repeatedly saying “No” every tenth and a half-mile.

  Daylen was sitting quietly in the passenger seat with her hands over her ears. She opened the door and bailed out before Kanyon even had the car in park at their next destination. Blue started in again as soon as they were all on the sidewalk. “Give me your phone.”

  “No.” Kanyon said automatically. “Who’s this?”

  Daylen looked down at Theo’s print out. “Corby, apartment two.” She looked at the building then back at Blue. “You get to sit this one out.”

  “No way.” Blue stepped forward.

  “Sorry, you don’t get to go on interviews if you jump the subject’s bones.”

  “I was drunk. Drugged,” Blue retorted.

  “Or you love you some geek,” Kanyon offered.

  Blue whirled on her. “I do NOT do geek.”

  Kanyon pulled her phone out and waved it. “I have a video that says differently.” Blue lunged for the phone. Kanyon lifted it over her head out of Blue’s reach. Blue made a grab for it, but she didn’t come close with Kanyon’s height and the twenty-pound boots that keep her attached to earth.

  “They’re going to find you in little kabob parts someday,” Blue threatened.

  “Daylen, how do you upload video to YouTube?” Kanyon asked.

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “Can you two please knock it off?” Daylen interrupted. “We don’t have that long before you have to be back at work.”

  “Give me your phone,” Blue growled.

  “No.” Kanyon slid it into her front pocket with an evil grin. Blue locked in on Kanyon’s jeans. “You’re not getting into my pants.”

  Blue lifted her eyes to Kanyon’s in a glare. “That’s what she said.”

  “Seriously, you two.” Daylen snapped.

  “I’m going with you,” Blue advised resolutely. “I need to prove that I’m not–”

  “A succu-geek.” Kanyon offered.

  Blue huffed then hung her head. “Damn it. What she said.”

  “Here.” Kanyon reached for the clip that held Blue’s chain belt together.

  Blue slapped at Kanyon’s hand. “Hey, this ain’t the land of Lesbos. No docking, front or rear.”

  Kanyon straightened. “Oh right, my bad, this is the Geek Islands. Give me your belt or you’re staying in the car.”

  Blue grumbled but took off her belt and handed it to Kanyon. “If this goes kinky,” she waved a finger between herself and Kanyon, “I’m taking it off the rent.”

  Kanyon snatched the belt. “You don’t pay any rent.”

  “Seriously?” Blue twisted to watch Kanyon loop the chain through the back belt loops of her pants.

  “You want to suck face with another geek?”

  Blue reconsidered. “Test that. Yank on it. Make sure that shit is going to hold.”

  Daylen watched as Blue, the chain, then Kanyon passed her on the way up the apartment stairs. “This. This is my life,” she muttered as she fell into step behind the chain gang.

  At the door, Daylen held up her fist to knock, stopped, then looked back to Kanyon who was standing next to Blue, flipping the end of Blue’s leash in the palm of her hand. “You think maybe we could not advertise that we have a grown woman leashed like a puppy?” Kanyon stepped behind Blue. “Better. Thanks.” She knocked.

  A few seconds later, a clean-cut, baby-faced guy opened the door. He had dark circles under his eyes but otherwise he looked not too worse for wear, since he was freshly showered and shaved. If the boy even needed to shave yet, Kanyon thought as she took in his pressed T-shirt and cargo shorts. Even the cargo pockets were pressed. She took that back, she was pretty sure they were starched, extra starch. He was either gay or a Boy Scout, she considered, thinking back to Pinky’s the night before. He’d been the one sitting at the end of the table as a stripper used him as an improvised pole. He’d been ramrod stiff, unmoving, as she rubbed herself up and down him, so again with hmmm …

  “Corby?” Daylen asked.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He said tentatively.

  “I was hoping we could talk to you.”

  Fear rushed across his face. He looked at Blue then Kanyon, who gave him a girlie finger wave and a wink. He gulped hard and his knees almost buckled. Boy Scout it is.

  “Corby, do you mind if we come in?” Daylen coaxed.

  “I ah, I would like to, but I’m afraid.” He swallowed hard again. “Like I ah said last night. I’m a, um …” He leaned out the door slightly and looked for anyone else in ear shot. “You know, a …” He got only eyebrow raises. “I’m saving myself.”

  Blue burst out laughing, dropped to her knees, and threw her arms up to the sky. “Thank God, I’m healed. I’m healed. Thou shalt tempt me with a 30-year-old virgin, but I am healed.”

  The kid’s eyes bugged out, at either Blue’s actions or the now exposed chain that Kanyon still held. Kanyon yanked at the chain, trying to get Blue to stand back up. “Car again?” Kanyon didn’t wait for Daylen’s answer, she simply picked Blue up by the back of her pants, like a yelling, praying piece of old luggage.

  This time when Daylen exited the apartment building, Blue was visible in the backseat and Kanyon was leaning against the front fender. “How’d it go?” Kanyon asked as Daylen got close.

  “Nothing. The same story. Jeremy suggested going out, they got ready at the movie studio, and headed to the bar. Cameron later talked them into Pinky’s. Had all kinds of women fawning over him.”

  “Except our little pint-size nerd lover in there. She hit on the first guy, but not this one.”

  “Except her.”

  “On to the next guy on the list?”

  “Yeah, I don’t know what else to do.”

  They met with the other guys on the list. Blue didn’t have any other instant love reactions with any of them. Daylen dropped into the seat and shut the door. “Well, that was a total bust. None of them had any new information.”

  Kanyon looked at her watch. “It’s eight-thirty. You want to grab something to eat, talk it out?”

  Blue shot forward between the seats. “Pizza is total mind food.”

  Kanyon looked at Daylen. “Fine by me.”

  “Works for me too.”

  Over dinner, Daylen and Kanyon began playing back the events of the case minus the supernatural speak. As if
they had conjured her by the mere mention of her name, Daylen’s phone rang. “Good evening, Lt. Boston.”

  “Got an update for you,” Lt. Boston stated, starting with facts versus pleasantries. “Your boy, Cory, and his girlfriend aren’t missing anymore. Or should I say, wife, aren’t missing anymore.”

  “Wife? Wait a minute. What?”

  “Apparently, the two love birds caught a flight to Las Vegas the day you reported them missing. Got hitched at some bottom-dollar chapel. They checked into the honeymoon suite at a hotel just off the strip. Next morning, lover boy got out of the shower ready for a day of married bliss when wifey cold-cocked him. She was still screaming and chasing him when the cops arrived. They snatched them both. Her for assault. Him for public nudity. Apparently, she’d snatched the cheap hotel towel off his, and I quote his boney, white ass end quote.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. They’ve been on a twenty-hour hold. Both are due to be released any time, if they aren’t already. I’m closing out the missing persons case. However, this doesn’t explain the brother getting knocked around or the apartment getting tossed,” Lt. Boston prompted, not covering the curious tone in her voice.

  “I don’t have anything more to give you on that,” Daylen stated.

  “Fine. But you’ll let me know when that changes.” Lt. Boston stated. “Should I even ask about the little explosion today?”

  “Probably shouldn’t.”

  “Didn’t think so,” Lt. Boston replied curtly.

  “Thank you for the call, Lieutenant.” Daylen disconnected and looked at Kanyon. “Well, the good news is the two missing love birds are okay,” she advised then proceeded to relay the rest of the information.

  Kanyon finished her second piece of pizza, then sat back to think. “In love one minute, fighting the next.”

  “Sounds like it,” Daylen stated.

  Kanyon turned to Blue who had just started on her fourth piece of pizza. “How about you? What made you go all coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs?”

  “You’ve been waiting to use that all night, haven’t you?” Blue asked, taking other bite of her pizza.