“Not a problem.” She stands from the seat she’s just taken up. “I’ll take a minute to freshen up in the ladies’ room.”
As soon as she’s out of earshot, he turns to me. “I’m sorry you got interrupted out there. Did you …” His features tighten. “You don’t wanna have lunch?”
I go to speak but pause as I look him over.
This woman likes him—I can sense it—and here he is, not jumping at the chance to rush me off but bummed at the thought of my leaving.
Kellan would be pushing me to go up to the room, feeding me Xanax and fake concerns.
“Hey”—Parker steps close, running the tips of his fingers over my temple—“focus on now, Kens. Don’t think about anything else.”
I turn my head, letting my cheek brush against his wrist. “How do you always know?”
“Same way you do. I’m inside you, Kens. Can’t fight it. Don’t want to.”
Dani starts back this way, so I step back, forcing his hand to drop to his side.
“She likes you.”
At that, his brows bound high, and he goes to speak, but she’s already here.
“Shall we?” she asks.
When Parker motions for her to sit, her eyes slide to mine. I don’t see foul intentions, but a woman knows when another is waiting for a sign. She’s holding out to see what move I’ll make.
I should go back upstairs and let him have this. Perhaps he’ll like her, too.
When I turn to him, ready to be unselfish, just this once, his eyes keep me from speaking.
The blue of his stare melts me, his eyes sloped at the edges, pleading for me not to go. I can read what he can’t say. Don’t go when I’ve only just gotten you here.
He’s not worried about the woman beside him or what she might think.
He simply wants me here, beside him. So, I sit.
The woman, Dani, kind and poised, looks to me with understanding and gives her attention back to Parker.
“So, Parker Baylor, let’s hear it. Al mentioned Kalani wanted you to pay close attention to a Noah Riley out of Avix U.”
Parker grins with a laugh. “It’s Lolli, and I only correct you now because she’s pretty particular about who calls her by her real name. I don’t even think Al’s allowed.”
At that, they both laugh, and I find myself grinning as well.
And, much to my surprise, I enjoy the luncheon.
Being able to watch Parker speak, hearing the excitement in his voice as he breaks down his last few work-related trips and the things he gained from them, is by far the best part. It’s hard to witness the happiness inside him, his life moving forward without me, but even harder to look away.
He’s doing something he loves, and I’m so proud.
“This was great, Parker. Thank you for meeting me today. I want to be sure you and I truly understand each other before we get into the full business side of things over the next few years. Like you, I’ve got a lot to learn, but I think establishing a solid level of communication will be good for us.”
“Of course.” He nods. “Anytime I’m available, I’m all for it.”
The woman glances my way, giving a small, one-sided smile.
“Kenra”—she turns to me—“it was great to meet you. I’m sure I’ll see you again.”
I offer her a smile. “Great to meet you, Dani.”
She nods and gives a wink before making her way out of the building.
Parker shifts to me with an easy grin, having not a single clue that the woman came here to simply get to know the man he is. She was interested, and much to my surprise, tossed the idea the moment she decided I was more than just a woman who tagged along.
“Should we take another walk and go sightsee a bit?”
I don’t want to share him with the world. “Pay-per-view and PJs?”
Parker’s smile opens up my lungs, and together, we head to our room.
I might as well close my eyes because I have no idea what’s happening in this movie right now, and I know Kenra doesn’t either. Proving my thought, she reaches for the remote and turns it off.
“This is useless.”
I laugh and jump to stand. “Come on.”
With a weary expression, she stands but doesn’t ask questions.
I grab the small throw off the edge of the bed and wrap it around her shoulders, and together, we silently make our way into the elevator.
“I was planning to wait until tomorrow, but I think we need a change in scenery.” I push open the door, and she looks at me before stepping past and out onto the patio.
She stares through the tall, thick plastic that acts as a barrier to the night’s city lights just behind it, but this is nothing.
“Come on. The view is even better over here.”
With a soft laugh, she follows behind me, and we step up into the pool area, moving to stand against the ledge. Hundreds of city lights stare back at us, neon blues and pinks, whites and yellows, with the sound of echoed horns and drifting music all around.
“Wow. It’s so loud yet so quiet. Just … soothing,” she whispers.
Even though I shouldn’t, I step closer, and her deep inhale rubs against my chest. Even with the blanket wrapped tight around her to keep that ever-present bay breeze from chilling her tiny body, I feel calm. But I want to feel whole, so I dare a move reserved for a man who has a right to the woman in front of him and wrap my arms around her middle, pulling her into me.
She freezes for the slightest of seconds, but then her body relaxes into mine.
I know this is painful for her—hell, it’s downright torture for me, too—but it’s worse having her this close and not touching her.
It’s a lose-lose situation with no clear way out.
We stand there, staring at the night sky for a long while before I hear her quiet sniffs.
With a deep inhale, I slowly spin her to face me.
Full to the brim, tears threaten to spill with her next blink, but before they can fall and before I have a chance to speak, she whispers, “I think we should go inside now.”
I want to fight her, push her, but I can’t yet. Not yet, so I nod. “Okay, Kens.”
Once in the room, she disappears into the bathroom. A moment later, the shower kicks on, so I take that time to change quickly and pull back the sheets to her bed, making the small couch out for myself.
She stays in there for a good hour before finally stepping out in a pair of thermal-like pajamas.
She slides under her sheets, staring at me when she lays her head on her pillow. “Months,” she whispers, looking to her palms.
I prop my elbow up to see her better.
“I haven’t laughed or smiled even in months, Parker. Haven’t felt like myself in over a year.” Her eyes slide back to mine. “You had me smiling within two minutes of opening the door, laughing within an hour.” Her eyes fill with tears.
“It’s always been easy for you and me, Kens,” I speak low.
A broken chuckle leaves her. “Nothing about you and me is easy …”
“Who we are together is easy, second nature, and it always has been. All the rest?” My eyes shift between hers. “It could be, too.”
“Parker …”
I swallow, dropping my head back on my pillow. “I know. I’m sorry.”
She stares for a moment, so I stare back.
“Good night, Parker.”
“Good night, Kens.”
I close my eyes, hoping this isn’t the last time she’s the last thing I get to see before I go to sleep.
I stare at my screen and the message that woke me in the middle of the night. Rereading the text from Kellan over and over again, I wish I could tell him to fuck off. He’s so careful, always tactful in messages and voice mails. Never once breaking character, just in case our phone logs and such are released. He works hard to protect the pretty little image he’s painted over the last few years.
Kellan: I’ll be in Texas a few more days, my love. I hope y
our time alone is full of good choices.
He thinks he’s a clever bastard, threatening me without the actual words.
And he’s not in Texas. It’s the first weekend of the month, which means his favorite flight attendant is in town and has room key with his name on it. Better her than me, but still.
I wish he’d be the man he claims and be up-front about it, messaging me to say he’s with his whore this weekend and that he’ll be home when he gets home.
But he never would because that’s not how he works. He’s a silent predator.
He studies with his eyes and plays games with his mind. Works around everything to fuck over all, and the one on the losing end never sees it coming, not until the bitter end, not until your back is turned and the knife is to your throat.
Why he chose me for a trophy, I’ll never understand. I’m plain, average at best on a good day. The women I spend my days around when in his world are made-up replicas of one another. Fake boobs, fake lips, fake nails, fake hair, and fake personalities. Nothing is real. None are genuine.
It’s a place with more money than needed, where more people want in than anywhere else, yet it’s the loneliest place I’ve ever been.
I can’t imagine how much worse it’ll get once he’s actually graduated college. Right now is what he calls the grooming years, where we’re seen and set the precedence.
“Make them desperate for us and what we represent.” That’s one of his famous lines. For some reason, he seems to think he needs me there to make it happen.
I think it started simple, with me fitting the role he needed filled, but eventually it became more of an obsession or power trip. His need to be the winner, branding me the prize.
Ever since he learned of mine and Parker’s secret friendship he’s felt threatened, grown cold and nasty, or maybe he’s always been a manipulating man. Either way, he’s gotten bolder over the years. Braver.
And he’s gone above and beyond to make sure my feet stay planted beside his.
I’ve learned money controls everything. Once you have enough of it, the power is in your hands, and you can bend anyone at will. And Kellan has me and everyone I care about in his back pocket, tied up nice in his bottomless Goyard wallet.
I slip from my sheets and slide into Parker’s. Slowly his eyes open, and he stares for a moment before shifting back to make more room for me. I tuck into him, and his arm slides around to pull me closer.
Our deep sighs match, and we fall back asleep, together, as we should.
When I tap the key card against the door and push it open, I inhale deeply. Kenra is sitting at the edge of the little desk, a cheap hotel room coffee cup in her hand, long, shiny brown hair lying half down her back.
She turns from the large window to smile at me over her shoulder. “Hey.”
Fuck me, she’s … perfection.
Her lips are a subtle pink, her face free and clear of any makeup other than a little something on her eyes to make those gold flecks pop.
Her eyes drop to bags in my hand. “Whatcha got there?”
I set one down on the counter for another time and make my way to her still holding the other, not missing the way her lips part, the closer I get. “Just some pastries from downstairs and a couple of waters.”
She grins, nodding. “And in the bag you ditched behind you?”
I chuckle, licking my lips. “A prize.”
“A prize?” She smiles, glancing from it to me.
“Mmhmm,” I tease.
She tries to play off her excitement, but a second later, she attempts to jump past me, only for me to wrap my arm around her waist and spin her back around.
Long, soft hair flies in my face and hers, and she giggles before growing silent and completely still. Her eyes connect with mine before slowly roaming my face. She studies every single inch of me from the neck up.
Her shaky little hands lift to my chest, her fingertips pushing into me with my deep inhale.
She wants to say something, but she’s having a hard time. As much I want to wait it out, hope she’ll find her own bravery and share what’s on her mind, like she used to, I don’t want the day to go to shit before it’s started.
So, I grab her hand, squeezing lightly before stepping back and pulling her with me. “Come on, Kens. I promised you Chinatown.”
She gives a soft smile as she picks up her purse. I grab the snacks I bought, and we head out the door.
It takes us just over twenty minutes to make the walk, but Kenra rejected the idea of an Uber. I think she’s liking the freedom that comes with simply walking down the road. All the people and the shops, she’s having a good time, smiling at everyone who passes.
Once we cross through the green awnings and into the heart of Chinatown, she’s glowing. She all but drags me from shop to shop, pointing out all the paper lanterns that hang from one side of the buildings to the other.
I purposely steer her to the shop I was hoping would catch her attention, and sure enough, she spots it.
“Oh my gosh, Parker, look!” She gasps, spinning to me with a side smile. “They make you fortune cookies!”
I chuckle lightly, following behind her as she skips their way.
“Oh, look at you. Beautiful girl.”
Kenra blushes a bit but smiles at the woman. “Do you really make fortune cookies?”
“Course I do, sweet. Sit, sit.” She urges Kenra, who smiles as she listens. The woman turns to me. “You pay?”
Kenra’s eyes widen, but I wink her way and turn back to the woman. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll pay.”
She walks to Kenra and places her hands on Kenra’s cheeks, and they stare at one another. After a moment, the woman gives a curt nod, moving back behind her little station and gets to work.
It doesn’t take long before she stands and passes over a little bag of fortune cookies. “Don’t open now,” she tells her. “Later, when a new path is needed.”
“A new path?”
The woman nods. “Color. Live in color.” She hands her a single fortune cookie. “Here. This one’s for today.” The woman turns to me. “She’s never been here?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Take her to Golden Gate Park. Ride the carousel.”
Kenra looks at me, eagerness in her usually solemn eyes.
I nod and offer her my hand, which she doesn’t hesitate to take, and we make our way down the road.
We Uber, and she’s quiet on the short drive, rolling the miniature wrapped treat in her hand.
I can see it in the way her eyebrows keep pinching at the center and the light bounce to her leg. She wants to open it so bad, but at the same time, she’s too afraid.
I wish I could erase her fears and soak up all her pain. I’d drown in hurt if it meant she felt none.
The car pulls up in front of an old McDonald’s, the driver practically forcing us out so that he can move on to grab his next job.
Kenra glances around. “Are we … is this where we’re supposed to go?”
With a laugh, I place my hand on her back, guiding her forward when the crosswalk light tells us to go. “Yeah, this is the place. Just wait for it.”
“Uh-huh.” Her eyes widen, and she sinks a bit closer to me so a woman with a shopping cart full of random items can jam past us.
Once we cross, we start down the short path that leads to the park, and Kenra’s steps start to slow. She glances at me with a small smile and then starts off ahead of me. I purposefully pull back a bit, letting her lead, letting her choose.
Little things like this, independence in the city, these are things she’s missing. Things she needs. Kenra was always the life of the crowd. Bubbly and bright, she was like a beacon. Every person within thirty feet of her was pulled in. Everyone wanted to hear her talk and see her smile because she had a way of making you believe it. If she was happy, the world around her was, too.
I think that’s why Kellan worked his way in and fought so hard to stay there. He knew, the moment peop
le met her, she’d draw them in. Her presence was his gain. She was the advantage he needed in his world of image and people-pleasing.
I don’t think he anticipated her to withdraw the way she has. In fact, I bet he figured the money would do the work he failed and keep that smile on her face.
If he knew a damn thing about her, he’d have known that would never be enough for her.
I almost wish the bastard were here now just to see. ’Cause the Kenra giggling at the birds in the trees above her, running her fingertips across the bright pink flowers that circle the small pond at the end of the hill … that’s my Kenra.
“Parker!” she shouts through a smile, not bothering to turn to face me, still holding her fortune cookie in one hand. “Hurry, come look!”
Unable to control my smile, I hustle to her.
“Look over there, right between the branches.”
I shift to glance past her, finding two squirrels stuffing nuts into a tiny hole at the root of the tree.
One spins quick, bumping the other, and it makes a loud noise. Kenra starts cracking up, making them both pause and run off.
Smiling, I look to her, but she’s still watching after them, tears in her eyes from laughing, smile marks I haven’t seen in a long time shining at me.
She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
She glances my way, and her laughter dies almost instantly. I make no move, hoping I don’t lose her happiness, while she works through her internal debate, deciding if she’s allowed this time.
She stares a moment. Then, a deep sigh leaves her, and she smiles. “Let’s go find that carousel.”
“See that little tunnel?” I point behind her.
She spins, looking back with wide eyes. “That tunnel with a giant iron gate blocking the entrance?”
“Yeah, that one.” I grin. “Come on, they only lock it at night, probably to keep people from sleeping under it.”
She nods, and together, we follow the path through the dark tunnel and into what I consider to be the heart of San Francisco.
When we exit the tunnel, my steps begin to slow. My eyes can’t decide where to look first, so they roam from side to side.
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