Cocky Best Friend: Samantha Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 21)

by Faleena Hopkins

  The tears spill and she covers her face. I know what’s coming. And oh God, the pain is so deep.

  “It’s probably too late. I’m risking everything here. I had to do this. I love you.”

  She drops her hands and looks up at me, soft lips parting to speak…

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Samantha

  Sunday

  Barefoot and in his sweatpants, Steven grinds coffee beans, smiling over his naked shoulder. “You going to unpack those?”

  I’m fingering one of the cardboard boxes that are taking up the majority of his foyer and spilling into his kitchen and living room. Uncle Jake loaned Max and Caden his work-truck.

  They helped me move in just yesterday, while Lexi covered my classes for me. We could’ve had one of our other teachers take over, but she didn’t approve of me moving in here.

  I’m the last in our apartment, so I don’t know what she expected. Live in a three-bedroom place all by myself and not feel more than a little lonely? I’m happy she and Zoe have moved out. I wish she would be happy for me too.

  “I’ll get to it today,” I tell him with a forced smile. “I’m not going to church so I can do this.” My chest feels tight, legs heavy. The idea of finding new homes for all of my things here is overwhelming. For some reason it just makes me tired.

  The roar of the grinder becomes everything, and I stare at it as if years were passing rather than seconds. My eyelashes rise to gaze at Steve with the dawning awareness of the commitment I have just made. We are living together now. I turned over my key.

  My brothers kept asking if I was okay. They were trying to joke around with me, teasing me about moving in with someone before we were married, as if that matters anymore, but I didn’t take the bait at all. Not even to join in the fun and razz them back.

  Hunter showed up and claimed he had forgotten what time it was. Max told him to learn how to set an alarm. Hunter looked at my face and confessed, “I didn’t forget what time it was. That was a lie. This doesn’t feel right. I don’t see you guys together.”

  Max and Caden shoved their hands in their pockets, neither arguing. They could’ve yelled at me and it wouldn’t have been louder than that.

  “You guys, I don’t need this right now. This is a new chapter of my life. I need your support.”

  Caden said, “Who’s lifting the heavy boxes?”

  I cocked my chin to let him know that’s not the kind of support I meant.

  Hunter rubbed the back of his head.

  Max stared at the asphalt as he said, “I didn’t name my son Logan because I hate the guy.”

  Pain drifted into my heart. “You said you didn’t name him after my Logan!”

  “Your Logan?” Max smiled with sadness.

  “You know what I mean.”

  He shrugged, “I always liked the name.”

  Covering my face, I cried out with frustration, “He’s in a relationship with this fabulous French goddess who wants his children.” Dropping my hands, I shouted at my brothers, “They’re in China! Dancing with each other every night. I don’t even know what that’s like!” I never danced in the show with Logan; it was before he danced understudy. And before it changed to the musical it is now. Ines was in both. “But she does. And she lives with him. And she’s going to marry him. And she’s going to have his babies.” I covered my face again, this time so they couldn’t see me crying.

  “Sam,” Max whispered as he walked up and took me in his arms.

  I lied, “I’m okay!” but burrowed closer, sobbing, “I made a mistake, Max. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t see. How did I let him go? How can I live without him?”

  Caden and Hunter were silent as Max rocked me and kissed the side of my head. “Steven’s a good guy, but if he is not the right guy, you will regret this.”

  “Why are you staring at me like that?” Steven asks as he pours the grounds into the coffee maker.

  “I can’t do this.”

  He freezes, grabs onto the counter. “Shit.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  Flipping around he yells, “You’re telling me that now? After I just made space for you, and you brought all your –”

  Holding my hand up, I say, “Please don’t raise your voice at me. We never yelled at each other. Let’s not start now.”

  His ego glares at me. Despite it, his voice lowers with all the respect we have earned. “Are you breaking up with me, Sam?”

  A lump sharpens in my throat. “Yes.”

  He swears, eyes frantically searching for something to lock onto that he can make sense of. “I’m such an idiot. It’s Logan, isn’t it. You’re in love with Logan.”

  “This just doesn’t feel right. Does it feel right to you?”

  He snorts, “Would I have asked you to move in here if it didn’t?” He slaps the counter and makes his fist, tapping the granite while he thinks. “You knew that it hasn’t felt right to you.”

  “That’s not true,” I honestly tell him, taking a step closer. “I didn’t realize it until yesterday.”

  He flattens his hand and cuts a furious look to me. “But by then it was too late.”

  “You say that like my showing up here with my boxes could have been avoided.”

  “Yup.”

  I take another step. “Yesterday I was too numb to make that kind of a decision. I’m only human, Steven. Can you imagine how cold it would’ve been if I had just pulled the plug without hesitation? Do you think I care nothing for you?”

  His eyes soften. But for a second. “It’s a good thing you didn’t unpack. Now you can grab all the shit you’ve been leaving at my house and add it to those boxes on the way out.”

  “Does hurting have to make you cruel?”

  He turns for the cupboard, producing one coffee cup and staring at it for a moment before he sets it down to fill it up. He won’t look at me as he says, “No.”

  I close the distance and place my hands on his back. “You know me, Steven. I would never hurt you on purpose. I was completely in the dark, too.”

  He nods, setting the coffee pot down and gripping its handle. “Theo is having some people over to watch the game.” He opens the cupboard, and reaches higher for his thermos, transferring the contents and securing the lid. “I’ll go over there. Keep trying not to hurt me by being gone by the time I get back.” He walks away and leaves my hands empty of a boyfriend, and one less friend.

  In the bathroom I am shaking as I text my sister:

  Can you come over to Steven’s house?

  She replies:

  You mean your house? ;-)

  I send back:

  Not mine anymore.

  Chapter Forty

  Logan

  Monday

  Samantha is about to reject me one final time. My chest is heavy, eyes searching hers for an answer. But suddenly Lexi makes a squealing noise, alerting me she’s here. I look toward the sound, but find nothing. She’s well hidden.

  Or was.

  Sam touches my chin to turn my head back toward her. Her cheeks are wet, but she’s smiling. “I didn’t move in with Steven. I mean, I did but then I moved out the next day. Yesterday.”

  A seed of hope takes root. “Because I called you?”

  She gives her head a little shake. “I did it before you called.”

  “Are you still together?”

  Sam laughs, “No.”

  Lexi snickers, “Idiot.”

  “Shut up, Lex,” Samantha calls out. She lowers her voice to blow my mind. “I made a mistake when I said I didn’t love you back then. I do.” Touching my chest she whispers, “Logan, I love you so much it hurts.” I step closer to her but she’s silently asking me to let her finish. “Every time we hung up the phone, I felt a little emptier. But I couldn’t ask you to come home. You were having so much fun, and it’s what you always wanted. And then you met her. It seemed so final that when Steven asked me out I jumped at the chance to find a way to stop loving you. You know how much it kil
led me to hear that she wanted to get pregnant? Do you know how much I love you that I could sit there and wish you well when you told me such a thing? And mean it? Because I didn’t mean it Logan! If you would have had kids with her, I would’ve been happy for you.” Her eyelashes drop to my lips. “But I never would’ve told you how much I wish it had been me. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, before you left Atlanta. I didn’t know. Since I’d grown up with you, it never occurred to me that the feelings had transformed into something different than they’d always been. It just seemed too weird. How do you go from friends to lovers?”

  My voice is thick as I wrap her in my arms. “Like this.” I kiss her with all the time we’ve lost, and all the time we shared. Her arms rush around my neck as our tongues touch for the first time, holding there before we lace them, the kiss deepening. We press our bodies closer together, feeling just as good as I always knew it would if she’d just give me the chance to show her how I really feel.

  “Why is Lexi listening to us? Does she always have to be here? Is that how our lives are going to play out?”

  “Get used to it!” The closet door opens and she walks out. “Okay Max, Caden, you can come out now.” My lips part and I take Samantha’s hand as her older brothers thump down the stairs.

  Caden starts clapping, slow and dramatically.

  Max just smiles, green eyes crinkling around the edges.

  Lexi swears under her breath as Hunter appears, fashionable boots taking their time as he comes down a few stairs behind.

  “When did you show up?”

  He smirks, “You’ll never know.”

  I look to Samantha. “You didn’t want to warn me your whole family was listening?”

  “Not the whole family.” Caden jogs his thumb upstairs. “The ‘rents are still sleeping.”

  Hunter raises his voice. “That’s right, so keep your voices down.” Lexi is smacking his arm, and he’s swatting her away. “We don’t want to wake Mom and Dad now that Logan’s here professing his love to their daughter!”

  Max comes over and shakes my hand to say, “Hey Logan. Good to have you back.”

  Caden smirks, “And here we thought you were going to drop the ball.”

  I’m blown away, but at the same time this is my second family. They feel so familiar that I’m teetering between normal and surreal. Samantha’s fingers slide down the inside of my wrist, over my palm, and lace with mine as Hunter tells me, “Do you know how close you were to never seeing us again?”

  Sam whispers, “Don’t say that.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that either,” I agree, locking eyes with her. She’s shining up at me a smile she didn’t even give to Asher. I’ve never seen this smile before, but I plan to see a lot of it. She adores me. This is going so much better than I dreamed.

  She loves me.

  “What’s this?” Jason asks as he and Sarah come downstairs in their robes to find us all here. Their eyes widen upon sight of me. “Logan?”

  “Hey Mr. Cocker, Mrs. Cocker.”

  They see I’m holding Sam’s hand and grins spread on their faces as her mom whispers, “Oh, thank God.”

  Lexi hurries to explain, “We should have woken you. But we weren’t exactly positive what he came here for.”

  Sam’s dad walks up to me and I release his daughter’s hand to shake his heartily. “I flew back here to convince her to be with me. I want to marry your daughter, sir.”

  Samantha squeals and Lexi starts laughing as Caden corrects me, “You’re supposed to ask her first.”

  Max smacks him in the chest. “Traditionally, you’re supposed to get the father’s blessing.”

  “I didn’t get anyone’s blessing.”

  “That’s because you’re rude.”

  “Didn’t want to ask for permission,” Caden shrugs with utter confidence. “I’m my own man.”

  “So am I.”

  “You’re a daddy’s-boy.”

  Max rolls his eyes. “Because I make one film!”

  “Because you made it about—”

  “Boys,” their mother cries out, shaking her head. “Stop distracting us from what is really going on here, please? This isn’t about you. You both already had your turns.”

  Lexi mutters, “I don’t know why Samantha got hers before me.”

  Hunter agrees, “Or me.”

  Everyone stares at him, then returns to us.

  “I would like your blessing, sir.”

  Jason’s pale green eyes lose their amusement. “You have it, without reservation.”

  Sarah sighs with relief, “I’ve always thought of you as one of the family anyway. Now it’s official!”

  She opens her arms for a big hug. It inspires everyone to do the same. Samantha is wiping tears, grinning while her family accepts me into their lives in a whole new way.

  There’s a lump in my throat as Hunter is the last to hug me. “Hey Logan, welcome to the family.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  Samantha

  Logan walks into our dance studio, his legs graceful, body sculpted to perfection from being a professional with a grueling schedule for so long.

  There are eleven girls between the ages of three and five, in staggered formation wiggling and bouncing to a pop song that will stay in their heads for the next twenty-four hours at least, the hook is that catchy.

  I wave to Logan as I instruct them to, “Tap your right toe. Now the heel. Tap your left toe. Now that heel. One more time for each. Jump to your right. Swirl your hips like this. Clap your neighbor’s hand. And throw your arms up high.” The girls are so cute as the dimpled elbows straighten and reach as far as they can go, which isn’t very. Only one has the natural ability to make hers straight. All the others are wonky. But they’re having fun, which is all that matters. “Now freestyle! Run around!”

  They go nuts, taking up the whole space, squealing as they zoom past our visitor, then me.

  I turn off the stereo. “It’s 2:30 girls. I’ll see you next Tuesday.”

  Their mothers have begun to file in, some of them from our reading room where they were engaged in friendly conversations with others from the community we’ve created.

  Curious glances are thrown to Logan as he crosses to me, because he has become incredibly handsome since I saw him last. His hair is past his shoulders, sandy brown with blonde streaks. It feels like he’s grown taller, but I think it’s just the muscles giving the powerful impression. His fashion sense has improved. I would feel a little boring next to him, if he weren’t looking at me like that.

  Those women can stare.

  All he sees is me.

  “All this yours?”

  “Mine and Lexi’s.”

  He makes a circle and nods approval. “How is it being in business with your sister?” Leaning in for a kiss, he evaporates my answer.

  “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

  Logan laughs, kisses the tip of my nose and glances back as a couple of the moms say goodbye. I wave to them.

  One, a busybody named Helena, eyes me with a silent warning that she’ll be grilling me later. Normally she drives me a little batty, my sister, too, but today I’m floating on a cloud named second chances.

  As the small studio grows quiet, I excitedly slip my arms around Logan’s neck and receive another kiss. “I can’t believe you’re here.” Our mouths mold and move with sensual exploration. His taut chest against me feels so warm and strong. These arms had hugged me before, but not like this. I can feel heat from the bulge in his pants. It makes me nervous, excited, and a little scared. Pulling away to search his eyes, my voice is breathy as I ask, “What hotel are you staying at?”

  His blue eyes get smoky as he scans my face like he has all the time in the world to answer, “The W.” He gives me a soft kiss before asking, “You want to have dinner with me tonight? It’s a special occasion.”

  I smile, “Oh yeah?”

  “We’re talking on a Tuesday. So that makes Sunday, Mo
nday, Tuesday, all in a row. Just like old times.” He smiles, so handsome that my heart skips. His erection is throbbing against my hip, my body responding with need. If we didn’t have a storefront made of glass, I might just suggest we leave ‘friends’ behind us for good, right here, right now. From the look in his eyes he’d say yes.

  I smile, “I’ll meet you there,” before our lips brush again, sending a fresh burst of heat between my legs.

  “Tell your parents you’re coming over to my place for a sleepover.”

  I burst out laughing, “Oh no! I’m staying in my old room! This is like we’re teenagers or something!”

  “Too weird,” Logan chuckles before growing serious as his hands travel down my back to rest above my tailbone. He presses his fingers into the fabric barring his way. “I was going to suggest we spend the day together, but my jet lag needs a rest so I can really be with you.”

  “You’re going back to the hotel to sleep?”

  He nods and kisses me, the kiss growing deeper quickly. He breaks free to stare at me like he can’t believe it’s us here, together. “You still sharing a car with Lex?”