I put my hand to his chest, gently pushing him away. He looked confused as I pulled back. I could tell he thought he’d done something wrong. I stood up, his eyes watching me as I did so and I held my hand out to him, his eyebrow rising in confusion as he placed his hand inside of mine. I encouraged him to his feet and a second later, he towered over me. When I started walking down the hall, he didn’t hesitate. He followed me willingly.
Even though I’d never seen his bedroom, I knew where I was going. The layout was almost identical to my little house next door. I opened the door and flicked on the light, trying not to chuckle out loud.
“You’re not as tidy as I thought you were,” I said, my eyes focusing on the unmade bed and laundry basket full of clothes.
“I’m sorry. My bedroom doesn’t get a lot of traffic. I wasn’t expecting company.”
“I wasn’t expecting to visit, but I’m here and I don’t want to leave,” I said with a laugh as I felt his hand slide around my waist, spinning me until I was facing him.
“Is this what you want?” His voice was low and anxious and I nodded my head, meeting my eyes with his.
“It is,” I said quietly, but without hesitation.
The need in his eyes almost matched mine. I could hear his breathing pick up and then his hand was tangled in my hair, pulling me to him, our lips meeting, slowly at first as he inched us to the bed. When my knees hit the mattress, he braced me and laid me down, resting my head on the pillow as the weight of him hung over me. He smelled so good…too good. I’d forgotten how good a man could smell. His lips left mine and found their way to my neck, leaving a trail of warm kisses on my throat as his hands inched under my shirt. I felt my muscles twitch when his fingertips brushed my sides, but he didn’t flinch, he kept going, the fabric of my shirt crawling up my chest until he slid it off my head, leaving me in just my bra. I saw the way his eyes stared at my breasts, his fingers tracing the mounds bulging from my bra and then I couldn’t help myself when I started laughing, remembering they were only bulging because the bra was old and ill-fitting. I was certain it was the bra I’d meant to throw away because the underwire was sticking out of the terrible floral print. I’d only purchased it because it was on clearance at Wal-Mart and I was too cheap to spend good money on clothing no one would see anyway and now I was paying for it. Leave it to me, the first action I get in almost a year and my lingerie is nothing but a worn out bra that looked as if it’d been made out of a sofa and should’ve been in the garbage six months ago. If Jeremy had been expecting a Victoria Secret model or even someone worthy of gracing a Wal-Mart underwear ad, he must’ve been seriously disappointed.
“Why are you laughing?” he said, propping himself up so his dark hair was hanging on his forehead.
“I’m not exactly the picture of desire,” I grinned and a smile cracked on his face too.
“I’d have to disagree.”
“My bra turns you on then?”
“I’m not exactly interested in the bra. I’m interested in what’s underneath it,” he said, his fingers slowly climbing up my shoulder and pushing a strap down before going to the other shoulder and doing the same and then pulling the cups down so my breasts spilled out.
For a split second I remembered they weren’t what they used to be. They weren’t as taut and perky as they’d been before Noah, but then Jeremy’s eyes met mine and I suddenly felt like the most desirable woman in the world.
“You don’t know how beautiful you are, Beth.”
His voice was quiet, but I could hear the seriousness in it and when he kissed each of my breasts, I forgot about my insecurities. I didn’t realize my hips began to move beneath him, but when I felt him rubbing against me too, I was more than aware. I’d forgotten what it felt like to be touched like this, to feel wanted, but as Jeremy’s hands moved over me, I remembered all too well.
My hands reached for his zipper. I didn’t realize I was trembling until I struggled to undo it.
“You’re shaking,” he whispered as his hands stilled.
“I’m okay,” I whispered back and he brushed his lips over mine.
“Hold that thought then,” he said, kissing the tip of my nose and then crawled off the bed. I watched as he walked across the room, disappearing into the bathroom. I heard him fumbling in the medicine cabinet and I grinned to myself when I realized what he was doing: getting a condom. At least he was prepared and it was a good thing because I hadn’t worried about contraception in a very long time.
He returned a moment later, holding up a gold packet.
“I wasn’t sure I still had some.”
“You’ve had them a while then?” I said, raising a playful eyebrow at him, but also pleased to know he didn’t go through them like toilet paper.
“Yes, but they’re not expired, I assure you,” he said, stopping at the foot of the bed, looking down at me before asking in a gentle voice, “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes, Jeremy,” I said, propping myself up as my eyes scanned his body.
A satisfied smile curled up on his lips and then he peeled off his shirt, my eyes focusing on the way his muscles moved as he pulled at it. His eyebrow raised and he crawled back onto the bed and over me.
“Let’s finish what we started then. Shall we?”
I nodded, pulling him to me for a kiss, which he reciprocated easily and I couldn’t hide my eagerness anymore. I knew he couldn’t either. I tugged at his zipper, encouraging him to take his shorts off and then he pulled back, sitting up and turning his back to me.
“I hate these damn things,” he mumbled as he worked the condom on. I giggled and he turned to me. “You’re not making this easy for me, Beth. Not when you lie there looking like that.”
“Then make me stop,” I flirted as he whipped around, crawling over me again.
“Gladly.”
He kissed me and then pulled away again to meet my eyes. His hands were on my sides a moment later, inching slowly down as he planted gentle kisses between my breasts and down to my belly button. I lifted my hips and he slid off my shorts and panties, tossing them to the floor so we were both naked. I blushed at the way he looked at me, his eyes trailing over every inch of my body, his fingertips gliding over my skin, which was becoming increasingly impatient. His breathing was deep and his touch seemed as anxious as I was.
My eyes closed, relishing everything I was feeling. Feelings I thought I’d never feel again and I wanted to feel all of him. I needed to feel all of him.
“Don’t make me wait anymore,” I groaned softly and his fingers stopped, resting his palm on my stomach for a moment and when I opened my eyes he was crawling slowly over me, kissing me deeply as his knee inched my legs apart and then the wait was over. I clung to him tightly, feeling alive…alive for the first time since my heart had been broken and with every breath and stroke of his hands, I could feel it becoming whole again.
Fifteen
What I loved most about our night was waking up in Jeremy’s arms. I’d forgotten how nice it could be to cuddle up close to someone, to feel safe the entire night. This hadn’t been in my plan when I came back to Travers Cove. I’d tried to fight it, but I was glad I’d given up and let him in.
I think he was already awake when my eyes fluttered open. The curtains were blowing gently into the room as the air from outside made its way in. I could smell the ocean air and I breathed in deeply. Between that and the smell of him, I couldn’t imagine anything better.
“Good morning,” he said and I couldn’t help but notice the gravelly tone in his voice. I decided right then I liked the sound of his voice in the morning.
“Hey,” I replied and then sat up, pulling the sheet to my chest, modesty suddenly overcoming me, when it’d been a non-issue the previous night. Feeling sexy was much easier in the dark when his hands were all over my body.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked and I nodded. “Can I make you breakfast?”
“I’d like that,” I answered and t
hen he suddenly leaned over, pulling me to him and pressing his lips against mine. The thought of morning breath didn’t even cross my mind because all I could think about was how good he tasted as his tongue explored my mouth again.
As suddenly as he’d started, he stopped and pulled away, a sly grin on his face.
“Feel free to relax in here for a while and I’ll let you know when breakfast is ready,” he said as he climbed out of bed and then gave me a sly grin as he pulled his shorts on. “Clothing is optional.”
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see what I decide on.”
“Can’t wait.”
He smiled at me again and then was gone. I lay back in the bed, resting my head against the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel the unintentional smile on my face, the kind you’re not even aware of, but the kind that only comes as a result of complete happiness. I hadn’t felt that in a very long time.
My contentment was shattered by the ringing of my cell phone. It was on the floor, hidden somewhere underneath my clothes. I crawled out of the bed, eventually finding it under my shirt and picked it up immediately when I saw it was Darren.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, Beth,” Darren’s voice came through the receiver and I noticed a kindness in it that hadn’t been there in a very long time.
“Good morning,” I returned. “How’s Noah?”
“He’s great. We’re at the airport and he wanted to say goodbye before we leave.”
“Put him on then,” I said and I could hear the phone exchanging hands.
“Hi, Mommy!” He sounded almost giddy with excitement.
“Are you ready to meet Mickey?”
“Yes!” he squealed.
“I hope you have a great time, sweetie.”
“Okay,” he said and then I heard him abruptly giving the phone back to Darren.
“Sorry about that,” Darren said. “He’s a little excited.”
“Good luck on the plane,” I said with a laugh.
“We’ll be fine,” he assured me.
“I’m sure you will be.”
“You sound like you’re in a good mood,” Darren pointed out.
“I am in good mood,” I told him, but keeping the fact that my good mood was because I’d finally released all the pent up sexual frustration last night with Jeremy.
“I’m glad to hear that. I thought you’d still be mad at me for springing this trip on you.”
“I’m not mad, Darren. You’re his father.”
“I know that, but still…after this past year…you have a right to be angry.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear for a moment, staring at it curiously. Darren and I didn’t engage in conversations that didn’t pertain to Noah. I spoke to him as little as possible. This little exchange was definitely out of the ordinary.
“That’s the past. Have fun and please call me when you get there.”
“I will. Bye, Beth.”
“Bye,” I said, hanging up the phone, sitting on the floor for a moment before picking my clothes up and getting dressed. I was certain Jeremy would be disappointed in my choice to cover myself, but naked at the breakfast table was not something I’d ever be comfortable with.
I liked the look of Jeremy at the stove, his shorts hanging on his hips and no shirt. I may not be comfortable with personal nudity during meals, but I was more than okay with a shirtless Jeremy.
“What are you making me?” I asked, walking up beside him as he pushed eggs around in a pan.
“I may renege my offer to make you breakfast since you decided to come out here in clothes.”
“Sorry. You’re going to have to do something really special to get a naked breakfast with me.”
“I’ll make that my new life’s goal then,” he said and I started laughing as I walked to the Keurig to make myself some coffee. “And to answer your question, we’re having omelets.”
“The same kind you made my son?”
“When it comes to cooking, I’m a one trick pony. Perhaps you could teach me how to make something else.”
“Gladly. Come over for breakfast tomorrow and we’ll make blueberry pancakes.”
“Is that an invitation to sleep over?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Perhaps.”
“Invitation accepted then,” he said, sliding an omelet onto a plate and handing it to me. “I can’t wait till tonight.”
I set the plate down, walking behind him and then slid my arms around his bare stomach, my hands resting on his tight abs.
“I can’t wait till tonight either,” I said, lowering my voice as I pressed my lips to his back. I could feel him tensing as they moved over his skin and then I slid my hands into his shorts. “Let’s not wait till tonight.” My voice was low and the words came out slowly.
He turned around in my arms until my chest was pressed against his. He was looking down at me, our eyes locking as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he said, turning off the stove and smiling a greedy smile. He scooped me into his arms and then we were moving down the hall and back into his bedroom. I giggled as he laid me on the bed and began stripping me of the clothes I’d just put on, but then the laughter stopped as the weight of his body pressed against mine and the warmness of his lips on my skin told me nothing about this situation was funny. It was serious. The way he made me feel was serious. The way he made me forget the hurt of the past year was serious and as I lost myself in him again, I knew I was seriously falling for him.
Sixteen
I missed Noah, but I had to admit, it was nice to be alone with just Jeremy and me. He’d go out on the boat during the day and I went to the beach in the morning, running my toes through the sand as I read. It’d been forever since I’d been able to escape in books and I forgot how much I’d missed it. I was always anxious to see Jeremy come home in the evenings though and when he came over to spend the night, I felt complete.
“I don’t think I’m going to work today,” he said one morning as we lay in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. He was tickling my shoulder with his fingertips as I traced the skin on his chest with mine. I propped myself up so I was looking at him. His eyes were staring off, almost as if he was somewhere else.
“Not that I’m complaining,” I began. “But, why not?”
“I want to take you somewhere.”
“Oh yeah?” My curiosity was definitely piqued. “Where are we going?”
“Just bring your bathing suit,” he said, kissing me before climbing out of bed. “I’m heading to my house to get ready. I’ll be back in an hour.”
He was gone a few moments later and I lay in bed wondering where we could be going. I eventually headed to the bathroom though, taking a quick shower and then pulled on my bathing suit, covering it with a pair of cut-offs and a black tank top. I dried my hair and clipped it up off my neck before applying my sunscreen and a little make-up.
I decided to pick up the house while I waited for Jeremy and just as I was putting the last dish away, I heard a knock on the door before he let himself in.
“Ready?” he asked and I turned just in time to see his eyes move up and down my body. There was something off about him though. He seemed distant, a straight line formed on his face.
“Are you okay, Jeremy?” I asked, approaching him and resting my hand on his arm.
“I’m fine,” he said, kissing me on the cheek, but I didn’t believe him. “All set?”
“I am,” I said, grabbing my bag and following him out to his SUV. He held the door open for me and once I was inside he got in.
It was quiet as we drove and I was surprised when he pulled in front of the only flower shop in town.
“Do you mind waiting here for a second?” he asked and I shook my head before he got out.
He wasn’t gone long, returning a few minutes later with a small bouquet of wild flowers. I half expected him to hand them to me, but he didn’t, instead sett
ing them in the backseat. I opened my mouth to ask him what the flowers were for, but something told me not to and then he turned to me.
“I was hoping you’d come with me to my parents’ grave,” he said softly, his dark eyes meeting mine. “I haven’t been in a while and I think I should go.”
I felt my eyes growing warm and I swallowed hard. I took his hand, squeezing it and then ran my fingertips that stuck out of the top of my cast over his cheek.
“I’d love to go with you,” I said gently, giving him an encouraging smile. He didn’t smile back though, but he nodded, leaning over the console and hugging me for a moment before pulling out of the parking lot.
We were quiet as we drove, just the soft music of the radio flowing through the speakers. I didn’t know where the cemetery was and a few minutes later, we were driving up a hill and through arched gates. It was a beautiful cemetery with large granite headstones, so typical of old New England. Jeremy parked the SUV and after he gathered up the flowers, we got out and he took my hand as we began walking down one of the paths. I could hear the waves crashing and when I looked up, I could see the ocean off in the distance. I couldn’t recall ever seeing such a peaceful cemetery.
“They’re up here,” he said a few moments later, pointing ahead.
His gait seemed to slow and soon I could see their headstones: Robert J. Parrish and Stephanie R. Parrish. There was a little picture of them between their names. His parents looked happy. They both had dark hair like Jeremy and I could see parts of both his mother and his father in him. He didn’t move for a few moments. He continued to hold my hand and stare at the gravestone and then I felt him release my hand and he stepped forward, placing the bouquet against the granite. I stayed back, not sure what I should do as his head remained bowed. I thought I heard him crying and my heart ached. I stepped slowly at first, placing my hand cautiously on his back to see how he’d react. When he didn’t flinch or jerk away, I went even closer, stationing myself beside him.
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