My mind is exhausted and my body ravaged. I am fading fast and yet I no longer care. Then from the depth of my soul, comes a light. It penetrates the darkness and shines over all of us. It is as bright as the sun and as pure as a summer rain. Someone is calling my name in the distance and I am oblivious.
Chapter 12
Some dark, unseen thing grabs me and I am yanked by my hair backward. It lifts me off my feet and the breath is sucked from my lungs. Terror floods my mind and I try and scream for help but words do not come. A burning sensation rips through my body and I began to lose consciousness. A harsh, whispery voice speaks in an unknown language and then many voices join the first. My eyes are open but there is blackness all around me. I can sense many entities around, and hear them emitting a deep growl, as a dog does, just before attacking.
Then I see a man. His skin is pasty white and his head bald and slightly misshapen. In sharp contrast his eyes are as black as night and looking into them I can see pools of dark water. He is tall and thin as a scarecrow but large boned. A feeling of oppression comes over me and I know that I am going to die. The man smiles faintly and his eyes dance with light. I hadn’t noticed before but he holds a short, twisted dagger. I can’t make sense of what I am seeing and then he speaks.
“What do you do”?
“Excuse me”? I say, confused by his question. My head is spinning and the growling behind the man grows louder. There is impending doom all around me and then the darkness erupts with voices. They all speak in low tones in languages I have never heard before. The proximity and direction of the voices are impossible to determine. They seemed to come from everywhere but nowhere in particular.
Something swoop low overhead and I feel the wind from its wings. The voices became quiet and fire springs up all around. The heat from the flames is intense and I step back instinctively. The man with sickly white skin is joined by thousands of shadow figures and they approach me.
I sink to my knees and wrap my arms around them. My eyes close and I retreat to some hidden place inside my mind.I have been here before and recognize the place. White light shimmers all around me and I sense peace and a great power. I focus on the light and call it into myself. An intense surge of power enters my body and rests inside me like a vault of gold ready to be spent. I feel pure energy. Every cell and every molecule inside me is alive and I am aware of a chorus of a million voices. Unbelievable ecstasy courses through my blood and I feel a pure presence envelope me. It feels as though the million voices are part of me and I become aware of a rushing wind all around me.
The light suspends me in time and I can see my body lying on the ground next to a figure. Standing apart from the shadows his face was averted from me. I sensed his goodness around the violence of the tortured souls all around. He didn’t speak but his voice seems to whisper to me and my senses are soothed. I shield my thoughts, an automatic protection learned over the years, and yet, I want him to know me. The faint scent of rain and spice is familiar and brings back a memory locked away long ago. Then he turns, and I recognize the man from the forest, who helped me when I was dying. His thick eyelashes and faint smile touch me from somewhere deep inside. The urge to reach for him is so strong that it awakens a feeling of terrible conflict. His mind reaches out to mine and surrounds me with comfort.
The sound of rushing wind becomes so loud I can hear nothing else. Enormous power and strength lifts me up and I am carried away from the darkness. The sinister shadows fade away like an eerie mist and the screams of countless souls rise as one. The voice is that of the sickly looking white man.
“I will find you Ivy. Very soon we will meet”.
I wake as rays of dawn spill onto my face. Still half asleep, I feel an arm around my waist and a warm body next to me. There is breath on my neck and my hair is partially underneath the body next to me. I am momentarily confused by the unfamiliar presence.
Tyler put his arm around me and pulls me closer. His lips touch my hair and I remembered the last night we were together. Pulling into the parking lot of Fred Meyer in his Volvo sedan and parking at the far side of the lot. He was stone cold sober even though we had just come from Salty’s. We had danced, shot a few games of pool and shared appetizers. All in all it had been a great night but something had been off with him. Something I couldn’t quiet put my finger on but nevertheless he was acting strange.
I was putting on lip gloss before we went into the store to rent a couple movies. I checked myself in my mirror and saw him watching me from the driver’s seat. He looked uneasy and flicked a glance into the parking lot as though looking for someone. He looked as thought something was going on that he was holding back from me. We had been dating for almost 2 years and I thought I knew him as well as I knew myself. My heart speeds up and I suddenly feel lightheaded. Something is definitely wrong.
He had dropped me off at home not long after that and I watched his tail lights disappear into the night. I expected him to call when he got home but the call
never came. In fact, I didn’t hear from him for weeks. It was as though hedidn’t exist, and then suddenly, he was dating someone else. We had never had a problem or even a fight and I was blindsided. The last time I had seen him had been in the woods when I was attacked. He was silent and avoided my eyes when I screamed for him to help me. He looked sad but did nothing to help as I lay in the snow being assaulted. Thinking to myself, this isn’t really happening to me. He had taken my heart and thrown it away like trash on the side of the road.
I blinked hard to keep the tears back. Tyler was asleep and I could feel his steady breathing on my back. The last thing I thought would ever happen was to be lying like this with Tyler. If only he had helped me that night in the woods. So much has happened since that last night at Fred Meyers. I had become a shell of my former self and hooked up with people who were no good. Dragging myself through the motions of each day and fighting to hold onto life. I shudder as I recall those dark days. I recall the terror and the humiliation of everything that happened. If I hadn’t had Jen to pull me throughit’s difficult to say what would have happened to me.
I’d known Tyler from around school since we were in the 8th grade. He was the boy that every girl wanted to date. Someone like Tyler was off limits to a girl like me and yet he made me part of his group when I most needed someone. He taught me to laugh, to feel, to belong, to love and to be loved back. With Tyler at my side I proved them wrong. He was my other half and we even shared a passion for horses. We could finish each other’s sentences and then we were no more.
I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw. I was no longer that girl and had learned to survive on my own. I took a deep breath. I had never considered the possibility of talking to Tyler again let alone lying next to him. My eyes fall to his forearm wrapped around me. I feel somewhere between indifferent and wanting to leave this place and ride away. I want to pull away from him and leave but I am
immobilized. I find myself wondering what will happen if I leave him behind. My stomach turns and I can’t believe I am even considering taking him with me. I turn my head and look outside.
I can see the blue of the sky just beyond the place we are laying. It’s bright outside and for a moment I imagine I am waking up in the old house by the beach. The sunrises there had been beautiful with the dazzling sunlight pouring through the window and the colors dancing off the water as waves crashed on the beach.
Then it hist me. Jen is dead and I am not in Olalla. It seems unimaginable that she is really gone. How quickly life changes and all that you know and love is torn away without a warning. Never to spend time with someone again and never see the promise of their life. She deserved so much more and never had the chance to grow old with Bill.
Guilt washes over me as I think of Bill. Where has he gone? Are he and Peter dead then too? How strange, that everything I had known and loved; just two weeks ago, is now gone. I have some vague, pressing notion that something even worse is coming.
“Tyler?Wa
ke up Tyler”. I said as I rise shakily to my feet. I glance at my thigh expecting to see a gaping wound but all I see is a hole in my pants where the arrow had pierced me. My body aches from head to toe but I don’t feel anything broken. The back of my head is throbbing and I remember being hit by a rock. I feel the place where the rock struck me and there is no swelling, not so much as a knot remains. There is dried blood where the rock hit but there is no indication of any wound. It amazes me that I have no wounds and I can’t explain how that can be the case.
Tyler sat up groggily and stretched. I watched him stretch, willing myself to look away but unable to do so. He caught me looking at him and gave me an amused smile, his messy hair falling carelessly over his face. His smile unnerved me and I feel my insides twisting up tight. He turned then, looking up at the sky. I wondered how long we could go on like this. I frowned. How can I even talk to him after what he did?
Tyler’s eyes fell to my ripped pant leg and he reached down to take a closer look. His fingers brushed against the place that had been wounded the night before. He leaned closer and started to roll my pant leg up. His dark hair fell around his eyes and I tried not to shiver as he rolled the stiff fabric upward. I stepped back instinctively and felt my face flush. “I appreciate your concern Tyler but I’m fine”. I said with irritability.
He smiled and one eyebrow arched up as though questioning me. For all my indifference I felt myself reacting. Be careful Ivy. I was beginning to doubt my own resolve to be distant with him and keep myself focused on the task at hand. Easier said than done and I can already feel my defenses already breaking down. I sighed and put my hand on his arm.
“Sorry. I’m just not myself today is all. It must be from the pain”. I cringed, regretting the words as soon as they came out.
His smile was unreadable but his eyes held mine and I can’t mistake the warmth in them. I could feel my face flush and turned away as though looking for something in the distance. There is no way in hell I’m going to let myself get sucked back into an emotional attachment with Tyler. I straightened and cleared my throat. I caught a darkness flash across his face and then his expression was tense. If I have learned anything it is how to build walls. In any case, he would never have an opportunity to hurt me again.
“ I took the arrow out last night and cauterized it with a knife I heated in the fire. You had passed out and I carried you here after the bleeding had stopped. Do you remember anything after you passed out”? Tyler asked
I shook my head thoughtfully. What had happened to me? I had felt helpless when the light came, and then I blacked out, and can’t remember anything. I recall feeling numb and then nothingness.
“The last thing I remember is slipping off of Jast’s back and seeing light before I blacked out. Then there was nothing”.
How can I be clueless about what transpired? There is no logical explanation and no way to understand it but I should have some recollection. Maybe I missed something in Gramma June’s letter. I walk over to the saddlebag and pull it out carefully so as not to tear the worn paper.
I read the letter over several time trying to make sense of what is written. I find strength in reading the familiar handwriting. For a long moment, I linger on a single paragraph. The words strike me as rich with meaning and I let them soak into my mind.
You will be a light in the darkness. Long ago you were chosen and you will now be equipped. Each leg of your journey will unlock doors for you. Many beings will help you along the way and many more are trying to destroy you. Follow the light that is in your heart. Things are not what they seem so you gotta be always on guard. Evil may come in the disguise of good and what seems dark may contain light. When all else fails look within yourself for the answers.
Yes. I say quietly to myself. There is something helping me and it is in the light. I had wanted to enter it and when I did peace came to me. Something occurs to me. The veil is all around me but perhaps it also within. Could the light be inside me and when I need help it is there to draw upon?
Tyler now stands beside me. There is a peculiar quality to his expression. Something I can’t quiet put my finger on. Something I never saw before passes over his face for a moment but then is gone. It’s somewhat of a shock that he is even here with me. There was a time when I had dreamed about a life with him and couldn’t get him out o f my mind. The feel of his warmth next to me this morning and the beating of his heart made me feel at ease. I won’t go there with him again.
Looking up at him I remember the wounds that he had endured at the hands of the demons. I had been so wrapped up in my own emotions I had forgotten about Tyler’s wounds. The cut on the back of his seems to have healed already and there is no sign of limping or discomfort from the burn on his thigh. Perhaps the same light healed Tyler and I just don’t remember. I won’t ask him about it because I don’t want my question to be translated into concern on his part. I took a breath wondering what he is thinking.
Then I hear something. There is a chilling howl in the distance. It seems to echo frombehind us. I can’t tell if it is on the other side of the mountains or here. Tyler’s face is solemn and he meets my gaze. He doesn’t seem afraid but rather seems to be filled with something else. Regret? Sadness? I have pretty good instincts when it comes to people and something is wrong with him. Just 5 minute ago he stood next to me like we were friends. He seems weird all of a sudden. He seems unexplainably detached.
The eerie howling turned into a chorus of howls and seemed to be getting closer. I run toward the place where my saddle is lying and whistle for Jast. He comes trotting up and I hurriedly tack him, throw my gear on the saddle. Taking the reins and some mane in my left hand, I swing into the saddle without using the stirrups.
Tyler is beside me but makes no effort to get his foot in the stirrup. I hesitate a moment before offering my hand for assistance. A few beads of sweat trickle down the back of my neck and Jast dances sideways making it impossible for Tyler to mount. For a moment a thought flashes through my mind to leave him behind. He looks up at me and steps away as though he wants to stay behind. My heart is pounding, waiting for him to reach for a hand up. He does nothing but stand there and I feel my anger rising.
“Why don’t you want to get on”? I gasped. I gape at him with my mouth open and images of him leaving me with the boys in the forest flashed through my mind. I would not leave him as he had done to me. Anger floods my mind and I urge Jast over to where he stands. I reach down to offer my hand to him so he can swing up behind me but he makes no move to get on the horse. He takes a step backward and his hands remain at his side.
“Get on Tyler” I say to him with gritted teeth. Shock and then what looks to be sadness appear on his face. He doesn’t make a move and stares at me for a moment. Then he reaches for my hand and swings up behind me. I take a deep breath and urge Jast forward. He didn’t need much encouragement to leave this place and instantly stretches out in full gallop. We veered off the cobblestone road and made haste toward a stand of trees in the distance. I can feel his arms around my ribcage and feel, somehowsafe- having him behind me.
As we approach the trees I see a figure of a woman. Standing just in front of the trees is the woman who I had seen in my vision of the old house. Her hair is pulled back from her face and her sickly white skin is stretched tightly over her skull face. A hint of a smile plays on her face and she holds the utility rope that I had seen Jen hanging from.
Do not look at her. I hear a voice say in my head but I am unable to turn away from the ghastly figure. My eyes are glued to her face and her black eyes glitter in their sockets. Something in them calls to me and I force myself to break contact for a moment and when I look back she is further away than before.
I stare into her eyes and wish that something would take this creepy, skull faced woman away. My skin prickles as though chilled to the bone and when I look away for just a moment she appears for a moment and then vanishes before my eyes. I must be losing my mind.
“W
hat’s wrong”? Tyler said I loosen up on the reins and urge Jast to the place the woman had been standing. “Nothing is wrong. I just thought I saw something over there. Did you see anything Tyler”?
I could feel Tyler shrug his shoulders and his arms tighten around my waist. I feel vulnerable but not in danger. “Nothing. Are you ok”?
“Yea. The howling just threw me off is all. It sounds like whatever was out there is gone now”. I am feeling slightly better until I see the utility rope the woman had been holding lying on the ground. Next to it something glitters in the debris of dead leaves. I urge Jast closer, and when I am a few feet away, I see a watch.
I slide off of my horse and walk to the place where it is lying. I pushed aside the leaves that are half covering it and pick it up. I rub my fingers over the face to clean off some grime and turn it over in my hands to examine it carefully. It has an ethereal mother of pearl background set behind ancient looking roman numerals. I put it to my ear and hear it ticking. Turning it over I can see the initials FP engraved into the back.
The watch had belonged to Flora Pearson. Memories flood back and I recall reading the diary left in Bill’s house. Flora was a young woman that had lived in the old house and been murdered by an infamous doctor in Olalla. The skull faced woman is the same one that Jen and Bill had encountered at the beach. The woman had reopened the portal and unlashed the demons. My skin is crawling and something inside me is urging me to find that woman. My own thoughts shock me but in order to find truth I need to follow the path to the end.
What I wouldn’t give for a phone . I stop myself from thinking the rest of the sentence- to call Jen and ask her what she thinks. How will I ever get through my life without her? I choke back a sob. I wish I could forget what I saw and hide it away with the rest of the tragedies of my life. The last thing I need is to be blinded by grief and lose sight of my path. Besides, who is to say what I saw was just a shadow of what could be? It may have been nothing more than an illusion to keep me from something else?
Underworld (Dark Passage) Page 14