Collected (Selected Book 1)

by Robin Roseau

  But then, like Bronze, she caressed my cheek. "Get well."

  She turned to go.

  "No!" I yelled. "Administrator Brighteyes, I must protest."

  She turned back. "Your throat is feeling better?"

  "No, it's not. You're going to zip the chair closed again, aren't you?"

  "I sure am."

  "So this is punishment?"

  "That's right."

  "I was punished enough."

  "Perhaps you were." But then she did something, and the chair closed right over my protests. And then, to add insult to injury, it tried to invade my mouth besides.

  I clamped my mouth tightly shut and began keening, but the chair oozed between my teeth and began expanding, pushing my jaw open wide. I tried to scream, but it filled me, choking off the sounds.

  But then I felt my throat begin to ease, and then ease further.

  She was a bitch, but she was healing my sore throat. But then the chair must have given me something else.

  I slept.

  * * * *

  I was in my old cell by the time I woke up. All the pain had turned into little worse than a dull ache.

  I rolled onto my side and opened my eyes, then stared ahead for a while.

  I hadn't done that badly, all things considered. I hadn't actually killed anyone, and a portion of me was relieved. I didn't want to be a killer.

  I'd half won, I decided, and I'd hurt the aliens worse than anyone else, and from the inside of a cage no less.

  I sat up slowly. I was wearing my pajamas. My robe was folded and waiting on the headboard table. I collected it and pulled it on, then added my glasses.

  I looked around. Yep. Same cell. But I looked up, and I didn't see anyone watching me. That was a relief, at least.

  True to her word, the visor was missing. "Bitch," I muttered. I sat on the bed and quickly grew bored.

  Bored, bored, bored.

  * * * *

  Breakfast came.

  Shortly after the remnants disappeared, the woman in the cell across from me received a collection of guards. She was shackled and led away. She came back some hours later, looking ragged, her clothing torn. And then another woman was led away.

  Those were the highlights of the day.

  Lunch came.

  From time to time, a woman was taken away. From time to time, a woman was returned. A few looked fine, but most looked ragged for their time away.

  One woman didn't come back.

  Dinner came.

  The lights dimmed.

  The woman wasn't back.

  * * * *

  Breakfast came. And lunch. Other women left and returned, but the one woman didn't come back. My heart was sick, wondering what had happened to her.

  * * * *

  It was mid-morning on the third day after my return that they finally came for me. I'd long stopped doing anything but lay on the bed, trying to sleep.

  I was slept out and terribly crabby.

  "Go fuck yourselves," I said when I heard the doorway form.

  "Ma'am, we're here to take you to your next challenge."

  "See previous comment." I didn't even open my eyes to look at them.

  I heard all four of them move fully into my cell. I didn't bother looking, but I tucked my arms underneath me and clasped my legs together.

  "Ma'am," and I recognized Curly's voice. "You know that won't save you. The only cost here is your own dignity."

  "What dignity?"

  Someone knelt down, and I heard Tweedle Dee -- or maybe it was Tweedle Dum. "Ma'am. You kicked their asses."

  I opened my eyes. "Yeah, right. If I kicked their asses, why am I still here?"

  "There was much hand wringing and gnashing of teeth."

  "I'm just another human amongst an overcrowded planet full of us."

  "We refer to Administrator Brighteyes as Ice Cat Queen. But around you, she was showing emotion."

  "She probably has a quota and is allowed only so many deaths a season or something. I was interfering with her bonus plan."

  "Ma'am, is that really what you believe?"

  I closed my eyes. "Can someone die of boredom?"

  "Just think of how exciting the next few hours could be."

  "Tell you what. You can go in my place. I'm surprised you're not already dragging me."

  "No one wants that." That was from Larry. "We'd all rather you walked with your head high. Sure, we will drag you, if we have to. But you don't want that and we don't want that."

  "It doesn't matter," I said. "None of it matters. I can't possibly win, can I?"

  "Ma'am?" That was Tweedle Dee again. "You're gay, aren't you?"

  "Got a problem with that?"

  "No."

  "Go away. Tell Administrator Brighteyes I am choosing to stay home today. I'm going to try this death by boredom thing. Death by knife wound didn't go very well for me, although if someone hands me a knife, maybe I'll try it again."

  "If you wanted to die, you would have cut your throat, not stabbed your arm."

  "Shut up, Curly," I said.

  "Am I wrong?"

  I opened my eyes and looked over in his direction. I didn't have my glasses on, so he was just a blur.

  "Cat Ice Queen told me if they'd waited for medics, I would have bled out. You tell me."

  "The throat would have been sure. The arm wasn't. Why the arm, ma'am?"

  "What do you know about it?"

  "We were watching. We always watch. That one girl did well."

  "Her name is April."

  "We know," Tweedle Dee said.

  "Why the arm, ma'am?"

  "Shut up, Curly."

  "You wanted them to know you were serious. You wanted them to know you were willing to die. And you wanted to know if they cared enough about you to save your life. But you didn't actually want to die. And you don't want to die now, not of boredom or anything else."

  "Shut up, Curly," I said, but my tone was softer. "They shot me with those things. Do you know what that's like? And then I've had absolutely nothing to do for three days since getting back. The Ice Queen is a royal bitch. She could at least have given me the visor back."

  "You know, she's not the only one making decisions. She has people she answers to. I'm pretty sure you can't say Fuck You to them as well as you did and come away without some sort of punishment for it."

  "Have to keep the human in her place."

  "Let me ask you something?" That was Tweedle Dum, for the first time that day. "You ensured it was that woman who is your challenger-mate. It's not one of the males. Was that worth a few days of boredom?"

  I sighed. But when they helped me to sit, and then to stand, I let them.

  We turned to the door, and Larry said, "Your glasses."

  "Leave them," I replied. "They won't matter."

  "So you're giving up?" Curly asked. "Are you just going to sit down and let her win?"

  "Pretty much. It's not going to matter."

  "I think you want her to win," Dum said.

  "I want to go home."

  "If I were gay, I might want her. What a body!"

  "And she cares about you," Dee said. "I think she's halfway in love already. You should have heard the anguish when she thought you were dying."

  "She barely knows my name."

  "She wouldn't let the medics fuss over her. She demanded assistance and stayed with you while you were healing. She didn't accept her own treatment until she was sure you were going to be fine."

  I didn't say anything. I didn't fight them when they slipped the glasses in place. This time they remembered the sports strap.

  * * * *

  They didn't bring me to an arena. They brought me to some sort of conference room. The administrator was there, and standing at the other end of the room, Bronze. Her back was turned, but when we entered, she turned to face me, and the longing was clear, even from an alien face.

  The guards brought me to the administrator, and I looked up into her eyes. "This is
my next challenge? Here?"

  "We're here to negotiate your next challenge," Jasmine replied.

  "How many will there be?"

  "We'll discuss that as well. Sit."

  I looked at the chair. "I'll stand."

  "Are we going to fight over this, too?"

  "Fine." I shambled to the chair and sat down. Bronze then took the chair across from me, and Jasmine took the one at the end of the table, immediately between both of us.

  "I don't have anything to say to you, bitch."

  She cocked her head. "I thought we were past that," she said gently.

  "Three days. You let me stew for three days with nothing to do. Nothing!" I screamed the last word.

  "You survived."

  "Well, I misspoke. I've had three days to think of nothing but what a bitch you are."

  "It seems like your mind could have been better occupied than that."

  "You had to put the human in her place."

  "Frankly, yes."

  "What was I supposed to do, Administrator? Was I supposed to let that man have me? Because that wasn't happening."

  She smiled. "You were supposed to do exactly what you did, or something like it. I thought maybe you'd wait until he opened the cage for you and use the knife on him."

  I stared, considering what she'd said. "I don't think he'd be stupid enough to forget I was armed, and I don't have any illusions as to how well I'd do against any of you. I couldn't have beaten him that way."

  "Well, you're probably right on both counts. I really owe you thanks."

  "You have a funny way of showing it."

  "I know," she replied. "Perhaps you'd like to hear it."

  "Fine."

  "In the scheme of things, everyone reports to someone. I report to a group of people, and they report to the local Federation forces at large. It's all a big circle."

  "Get to the point."

  "Well, I've been arguing, privately and publicly, that the way we treat the few lesbians we get is misguided. In spite of the overwhelming variety of mating rituals across the Federation, there are certain species that do not understand the concept of homosexuality. They believe -- just as some humans believe -- that a lesbian female is a female that just hasn't met the right male."

  I raised an eyebrow. "And they believe that about your entire species?"

  "Yes, actually. And due to my species they presume I am biased. Which I am, but I'm also right."

  "And you argue what exactly?"

  "That you should only have been in an arena with females. I've been telling them something like this was going to happen. And now you've proven me right. Thank you."

  "I didn't do it for you."

  "Nevertheless, thank you."

  "I can't have been the first lesbian in this situation."

  "You're not. It seems that lesbians are quite exceptionally good at the subsequent challenges. Imagine that." She smiled again. "In your species, preferred gender is not a switch. It's not homosexuality or heterosexuality. It's a continuum. It's far more complicated than that. But when we get someone whose preferences are so amazingly clear, as are yours, it seems one of three things happens."

  "Oh?"

  "They accept an offer from a Catseye, they are won in the arena by a female of another species, or they win their subsequent challenges. One of those three things has happened, oh, about 100% of the time since I took this position."

  I stared again, considering the ramifications as they applied to me. Then I leaned over and began banging my head against the table. "You'd have helped me to go home." Bang, bang, bang.

  "I really don't understand it," Jasmine went on, quite conversationally, ignoring my head banging routine. "You warned the males. You couldn't have been clearer. You then gave your ribbon to a female and meekly entered her cage. And then when they sought to challenge your choice, you were again clear. And, of course, you were clear during your testing. What kind of idiot doesn't take the hint?"

  I lifted my head from the table and looked at her. "So if I did what you wanted, why did I just get punished for it?"

  "Well, I had to punish you," she said. "You don't deal well with boredom or isolation. So now everyone feels you've been properly chastised. Sapphire Fletcher, you didn't entirely win in the arena, but you came out of it as well as you possibly could have. And you have helped the women who come after you."

  "Except you already help them."

  "I won't have this position forever. And besides, I can only help the extreme cases or my help would become too obvious. So surely what you've achieved was worth a few days of boredom."

  I studied her for a moment before lowering my eyes. I was still upset, and so I wasn't willing to concede her point. But I let my body language do it for me.

  "Excellent," she said after a moment. "Still angry with me?"

  "Yes," I said.

  "Perfect." Clearly my answers didn't matter. "May we now please talk about what happens next?"

  "No."

  "Excellent," she said cheerfully. "There will be at least three more challenges and possibly as many as seven," explained the Administrator. "For you to win your freedom, you must win the final challenge. Winning or losing the intermediate challenges brings other effects."

  "And so you keep forcing more on me until I lose?"

  "No. There will be an odd number of challenges. Three, five, or seven. The odd number challenges will be physical in nature. The even number challenges will not."

  "And who decides how many there will be?"

  "You do."

  "Excuse me?"

  "At the conclusion of each even challenge, and after we have determined the nature of the upcoming physical challenge, you will then decide if it is to be the final challenge."

  "I decide."

  "Yes. You decide."

  "There's a catch."

  "Of course there is. Ms. Fletcher, if you lose your final challenge, you are not automatically mated. You are only then granting to..." She paused. "Um. Bronze. You are only granting to Bronze the right to take you home with her and to court you."

  "Excuse me?"

  "We told you this at least once. We told you that you wouldn't be raped. That you won't be forced in that fashion."

  "But-"

  "Perhaps let me finish."

  "Fine."

  "You will allow her to court you. You will share a home."

  "A bed?"

  "You have your own room. But you will live by the rules she sets for you, and I suspect hiding in your room won't be allowed."

  "Of course."

  "She may invite you to her bed, but she won't force you there. However, you will accept her affections."

  "Is that a euphemism?"

  "Not exactly. You will engage in conversation. You will perform shared activities. And you will allow physical affection, perhaps not all that different from the sort you and I have already shared."

  Bronze looked sharply at her and actually growled, which amused me.

  "Can it," I told her. "We hadn't even met yet, and you hadn't won the first challenge. I was free to accept a backrub from anyone I wanted."

  "You will speak honestly with her," Jasmine continued. "You will share your thoughts. You will help her learn how you wish to be treated."

  "I'll help her seduce me?"

  "She won't actually need your help, but yes."

  "If she gets me drunk, it doesn't count!"

  Jasmine offered a smile. "In the end, she will offer a permanent relationship. You will accept or decline."

  "You're kidding."

  She smiled again. "Almost no one declines, in the end."

  "Why not."

  "You'll see."

  "Fine. So how long does she have before I can tell her I'm going home?"

  "That is up to you. You see, for each of your next challenges, she gets one month to court you."

  "So I'm with her for three months."

  "At least, and possibly as many as seven. I have never, not o
nce, heard of a candidate declining after seven months. Sometimes three is not enough."

  "Is it always three, five, or seven?"

  "It varies based on the species of the challenger. If you had accepted my offer, we would mate immediately. That was the offer. For you, it is this way."

  I looked across the table at Bronze. She was watching me intently. "I read all the information I was given. I was thorough. And I don't remember a single species that looks like her. Did I miss one? Maybe she wasn't in my briefings."

  "She wasn't. She is a hybrid."

  "I don't know what that means."

  "She is originally of another species. She looked quite different from this, with a reproductive system that is not compatible with a human. We could not have altered your body sufficiently to mate with her. She altered hers."

  "For me?"

  "Not specifically. For the chance of a mate."

  I studied Bronze intently.

  "Sapphire," Jasmine said gently. I turned to face her. "Few of us would change as much as Bronze has."

  "What was she before?"

  "It is her choice if and when to tell you."

  I looked at Bronze again. "Well?"

  She only shook her head.

  "She speaks. She spoke to me before. Why isn't she speaking now?"

  "The reason we left you for so many days is because she went through more treatment, this time for her voice. So she can speak English more readily. But it's not quite right, and she requires additional treatments. Now, this treatment she did for you, Sapphire."

  I studied Bronze. "What is her real name?"

  "She'll tell you when she's ready."

  "All right. I understand. Now what?"

  "Now we determine the nature of your next challenge. It is to be a physical challenge. That doesn't necessarily mean combat. It can be a race."

  "I'm never going to beat her physically in any fashion."

  "It could be crawling through a very small place."

  I laughed. "You had that ready."

  "This isn't the first time we've had this sort of discussion."

  "Is that really one of the possibilities?"

  "Actually, it is, although it's more complicated than that, and her inability to squeeze through the same hole you could will not eliminate her. Nor would your inability to leap as high as she can."