Southern Charm

by Leila Lacey

  “What’s up?” Lance said looking up at this brother.

  “Getting the last of the lights working so that I can finish the flooring in here,” Logan said to him as he was coming down the ladder. The brothers greeted each other with a manly hug.

  “The place looks great. You have really made it look elite in here,” Lance said looking around with a half-smile, half-astonished look on his face.

  Shaking his head and chuckling a little, Logan put the screw driver on the suspended shelf against the wall and leaned against one of the frame racks. “You look like you thought I couldn’t do it,” Logan said to his brother.

  “You know better than that,” Lance said. “I just didn’t think you could get it done so fast and all by yourself.” He sat down on a stool that had been pushed in the corner.

  “I didn’t. Mom and Gia helped me paint the front reception area,” he said smiling and tossing his brother one of the beers he had just taken out of the college sized refrigerator he had put in the corner.

  “Oh, yeah a sixty-five year old woman and a three year old; I am sure they were very helpful,” Lance said laughing.

  Chuckling to himself, Logan said, “Gia is a regular Picasso.” They both laughed out loud.

  Gia was Logan’s heart. He loved being a dad and he was a great one. Logan’s gift from a one night stand with the town tramp, Peaches Houwton, who had not only been nailed by every Frat boy this side of the Mason Dixon line but had slept with and blackmailed some of their daddies. Peaches had been in and out of jail for drug related offenses so Logan had been granted full custody of his daughter when she was two.

  “So to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Logan said to Lance.

  “I heard from that auction house in Japan. They want me to come there and run an auction of some pieces they found from the Ming Dynasty which are in the hands of a private collector,” Lance said to his brother.

  Logan laughed and said, “You know the only thing I understood in that was Japan right?” Logan said laughing.

  Laughing and shaking his head Lance says, “Translation: I need to go to Japan for a few weeks and I need you to do me a favor.”

  “Oh! Well, that I can do. What do you need me to to do; get your Porche obsessively washed for three weeks?” Logan said dinking his beer and laughing as she teased his brother.

  “Fuck You!” Lance said laughing. “I like my car to be clean; it is not obsessive.”

  “Ok, Melvin Udall,” Logan said. Referring to the character in the movie “As Good as it Gets” who had, had obsessive compulsive disorder. Ducking the rag that Lance had picked up and thrown at him.

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “I promised Shelby that I would pretend to be her boyfriend for her sister’s wedding and I leave tomorrow. I need you to pretend to be me,” Lance said to his brother bracing for the explosion.

  Taking a deep breath, Logan sat his beer down and started to hang some tools on the rack that was behind him. “You know I hate those people!” Logan said to him.

  “I thought you liked Shelby?” Lance said shocked at what Logan had just said. Lance knew that Logan had always had a crush on Shelby. But had never been willing to tell her because of how her family treated her. He hated rich people. Lance had accidently told Shelby one drunken visit in college but Shelby had forgotten and even if she had remembered, he knew he could say he was kidding and she would think that he had just said it because they were drunk. Shelby had no idea how amazing she was; thanks to her family.

  “I do like Shelby and you know I do,” Lance said picking up his beer and leaning back against the shelf he had been standing next to. “But her sister’s wedding? Every time I see her, I want to slap her. I am dead set against hitting women and her MOTHER. I can’t. I am sorry, Lance,” Logan said shaking his head.

  “Come on, man, you know how fake her mother is and she has demanded that Shelby bring me to the wedding because she thinks we are dating.” Logan said to him.

  “Wait. I feel like I am on an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. Why did she tell him that you two were dating?” Logan said to his brother.

  “You know how her mom is. Her brother is married, her sister is engaged and somehow Shelby being a single genius is a shame to the family,” Lance said to his brother picking up a tool and twirling it and almost slapping himself in the head with it.

  Laughing, Logan shook his head. “Put that down before you put yourself in the hospital. Why can’t you just tell her parents you have a high profile job that will make a lot of money? That ought to get the snootietons off her back,” Logan said grabbing another stool in the garage to sit on.

  “Come on, Logan!” Lance said to his brother “I will let you drive my Porsche the entire time I am gone. You and Gia can even stay at my townhouse, instead of at Mom’s to give the switch authenticity,” Lance was smiling at his brother with that sneaky smile. Lance knew how to push his twin’s buttons. He knew he loved his brother’s Boxster GTS; the stretched silhouette is sleek and wedge-shaped with the side air intakes and 20-inch Carrera S wheels and dynamic 10-spoke design. Logan always said that car is so sexy! Its fully electric roadster top opens and closes in just nine seconds, and remains operable up to a speed of 31 mph at the touch of a button. The unadulterated Porsche sound blasts out of the black tailpipes of the sport exhaust system.

  “You know that is a low blow,” Logan said to him finishing off the beer. “Alright, I will do it but she has to stop being a victim at some point in her life! Are you going to tell her it’s me?” he said to his brother pacing.

  “You know she knows us both too well not tell her. Oh and by the way, tomorrow is a pre-wedding formal dinner and she needs you to go!” Lance said to him.

  “You mean you?”

  “Me, you same thing. Just be nice to her, Oh, and have her back. She does not deserve the way they treat her. She is ashamed about her weight and that she has not lived up to their standards,” Lance said putting his empty beer bottle in the recycle bin.

  “Wait… what about her weight? I saw her last week and she still has curves to die for. Maybe a better wardrobe could help but she is damn sexy,” Logan said facing his brother.

  “Hmm… Well, maybe you should tell her that tomorrow night. I am sure she should love to hear it. I will call and let her know about the switch and leave the keys to my baby in the townhouse. There better not be a scratch on my baby when I come back, Logan,” Lance said pointing at his brother.

  “Blah, Blah Blah,” Logan said opening and closing his hand like a quacking duck.

  *******

  Ring. Ring. Shelby’s cell phone was ringing. “Cassidy, can you please get my phone for me?” Shelby yelled from the dressing room. Cassidy had demanded that Shelby go shopping with her and get a whole new wardrobe and let her pick everything. She had already selected thirteen new outfits and she was STILL trying on clothes.

  “Darling, you just worry about putting those triple D Tata’s in that sexalicious bra!” Cassidy yelled from the other side of the dressing room door.

  “Excuse me, ladies, can you keep your voices down, please.” The sales clerk had her nose turned up at Shelby from the moment they walked in the door.

  “Excuse me? As much money as we are about to spend in this store, we are allowed to have a Ditty party up in here if we want to!” Cassidy said to the clerk. Shelby squealed and started laughing hysterically. “Why don’t you get my friend and me a glass of Champagne and take that stick out your ass while you are back there,” Cassidy finished with that distinct southern drawl shooing the sales clerk away.

  “Well, I never!” the clerk said stomping away.

  “Ha, that ain’t surprising!” Cassidy yelled, “And you never will, walking like that. I think your thong is too tight!” she finished as the clerk stomped around the corner.

  “CASSIDY! Stop that and hand me my phone!” Shelby said sticking her hand over the top of the stall.

  “Oh, cool your bri
tches, girl. I have the phone,” Cassidy said to Shelby looking at the phone. Hitting the ‘send’ button, she said, “Hey, sexy, how I can suck your dick for you today?” Cassidy said into the phone.

  “CASSIDY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHO IS THAT?” Shelby said trying to wrestle her way into another sexy bodycon sheath dress that Cassidy had picked out for her to try on while trying to get out the door to snatch her phone from her.

  “Ha-ha... Oh, calm down, Shelby! It’s just Lance and he knows I will suck his dick whenever he wants,” she said into the phone before handing it to Shelby over the black dressing room door. Cassidy knew she had better give her the phone before she had a stroke. It sounded like she was wrestling a wild boar in that stall.

  “Honestly! Cassidy, I wonder about you sometimes,” Shelby said taking the phone and putting it to her ear. “Hi, Lance! I am so sorry about that,” she finished speaking into the phone.

  Lance was laughing on the other end. “It’s alright. Cassidy has been the same her whole life; I would expect nothing less,” Lance said. “She better be careful. One of these days I am going to take her up on that dick sucking proposition.” “LANCE! I don’t want to hear that!” Shelby said flabbergasted. “La La La” she finished putting her empty hand over her ear.

  “Simmer down, Shelby!” Lance said laughing “It’s not like I am asking you to watch,” Lance finished laughing

  “I swear I do not know why I associate with you people. I assume you called me for a reason other than talking dirty,” Shelby said to her friend looking at herself in the mirror in this hip-hugging royal blue bodycon dress that was off the shoulders with a split-up the thigh. She had to admit she looked pretty hot.

  “Oh yeah!” Lance said “With all the dick sucking talk, I almost forgot. I have to leave town in the morning.” “WHAT?” Shelby squealed dropping her cell phone. “SHIT” she said leaning down to pick up the phone. Knock Knock, Cassidy was at the door.

  “Shelby, are you ok? Did Lance finally tell you he is madly in love with you?” Cassidy said through the door.

  “Cassidy! STOP THAT! Give me a minute. I am fine,” She said finally getting the phone back to her ear. Shelby sat down on the pink velour bench in the dressing room. “What do you mean you have to leave town tonight?” She said into the phone.

  “Calm down, Shelby! Let me explain,” Lance said to her. While Lance explained what was going on with the auction and his plan with his brother, Shelby listened with her head in her hands and her eyes closed. After two minutes, Lance was done explaining and Shelby was still silent. “Shelby, are you still there?”

  “I... Lance… Your brother hates me!” Shelby stammered. Although she had a small crush on Lance when they were in high school, it had been nothing to the cum-leaking adoration she felt toward Logan. And he thought she was a poor little rich girl and made sure she knew he disliked her.

  “He does not, Shelby! What would make you think such a thing?” Lance said.

  “Oh! I don’t know, let me see! The last time he came to visit us at college I kissed him. I admit I was drunk but I couldn’t help myself and he said he would never have a rich bitch like me!” Shelby said yelling into the phone.

  “What? Are you sure that is what he said?” Lance said to her. There was one thing that Logan had always been was a defender of women and knowing that his brother had always had a thing for Shelby he could not imagine him talking to her that way.

  “YES! Well, I think… I was drunk. I just… Lance, how are he and I suppose to pass off being in a relationship when he does not even like me. You know that dinner is tomorrow!” Shelby said hysterically starting to hyperventilate.

  “Shelby! Relax!” Lance said to her. Cassidy opened the dressing room door hearing her yell again.

  “For God’s sake, Shelby, you are screaming like you got caught with your pants down! What in heaven’s name is wrong with you?” Cassidy said.

  “Lance has to go out of town and Logan is going to pretend to be him for my sister’s wedding week!” Shelby said dropping her head between her knees.

  “Well, ain’t that the berries!” Cassidy said excitedly.

  “NO! NO, Cassidy, it’s not!” Shelby said loudly.

  “Oh, Shelby, don’t get your panties in a bunch!” Cassidy said taking her phone. “Lance, tell Logan the pertinent things he needs to know and send him to Shelby’s tonight to take her to dinner so they can talk and, tell him to bring flowers,” she said to Lance before she hung up the phone.

  “Cassidy! Why did you do that? How am I supposed to go to dinner with him tonight?” Shelby said to her standing up still in a full panic.

  “Oh relax! We are going to get your hair done and finish shopping and tonight when Logan sees you; if he did dislike you, he won’t anymore,” Cassidy said winking at her friend and walking out of the dressing room. Shelby put her head back against the wall groaning.

  “Oh, when I get through with you; that is what Logan will be doing, moaning all night long!” Cassidy said laughing as she walked away to find some garters.

  CHAPTER 3

  “Cassidy, I CAN NOT wear this!” Shelby said to her friend looking in the mirror. Cassidy had talked her into buying the dress but she had not expected she would ever wear it. She had to admit it was very sexy on and she had never felt this good in a dress before. Cassidy had taken her to a new lingerie boutique that had recently opened there called Eve’s Lace and she had gotten some of the most risqué underwear she had ever seen. Shelby was used to her six pack of Fruit of the Loom’s, size 7. They had always done just fine but the ones she had on now were black Silkscreen-printed stretch tulle shorts embellished with tiny Swarovski pearls and glitter polka dots. The decoration created a sensual tattoo effect on the skin. She could not wear a bra because her emerald green dress had a low-cut V neck that came down to stop just at the bottom of her breast bone. The dress stopped at her knee and had long sleeves. Cassidy had taken her to her salon and after three hours of being plucked, coiffed, curled, and dyed, she had left with new contact; money could get you anything. Her light brown hair, taken out of the ponytail she always had it in had blond streaks throughout. She had her eyebrows shaped, which hurt like hell. She was going to have to talk to Cassidy about that. The enethstatician had told her that her eyebrows looked like caterpillars! She was wearing makeup and she had to admit that she liked the way her face looked. Her eyebrows were dusted in a golden high shine sea green and her lips were a sexy red. Shelby had never imagined with her chocolate brown skin that she could look this amazing in red lipstick. Her eyes are a deep coffee brown but with the make-up, they had a Carmel shine. Cassidy had insisted she leave her hair down in large flowing curls around her shoulders with gold Egyptian earrings, gold bangle bracelets and a pair of 6-inch gold and emerald green open toe bootie. Shelby felt sexy and daring and totally out of her element.

  “Oh, shut up, Shelby! You look ridiculously hot! Logan is going to eat you alive tonight!” Cassidy said looking at her and taking a sip of a Cosmopolitan.

  “I seriously doubt that! I will be shocked if he says anything to me all night,” Shelby said.

  “Logan is hog wild for you, Shelby. He always has been. I do not know where you got the theory that he doesn’t like you but I will lick a horse’s ass on a Sunday if I have not seen that man staring at you in lust from across the room!”

  Laughing out loud, Shelby started to put her new make-up in her clutch. “I declare, you are prone to exaggeration, Cassidy. He will probably be looking in total disgust from across the room,” Shelby said.

  “Are you kidd…?” Cassidy started to say before the doorbell interrupted her. Ding dong “Well, now we shall see what he thinks,” Cassidy said rubbing her hands together heading for the front door. Shelby was all of a sudden feeling fat and very short of breath.

  “Cassidy, don’t you dare embarrass me!” Shelby yelled after her. Cassidy had already told her that she would not be answering the door when Logan arrived; that a true Southern
Diva should make an entrance. Logan was a half-hour early. She could not keep him waiting that long, could she?

  “Shelby, darling, Logan is here for you!” Cassidy said to her.

  As Shelby got to the top of the steps, she heard Logan say unexpectedly,

  “DAMN!” He was staring at Shelby like she was a tall glass of ice cold water to a dying man in the desert.

  “Ha! I told you!” Cassidy said clapping her hands and smiling at Shelby. “I know what gets a man’s dick hard and you are it, love.”

  “CASSIDY!” Shelby said at the same time as Logan said, “Cassidy! You are such a fucking lady, Cassidy.” They were both shaking their heads.

  “Thank you. I am so glad you two can appreciate the sexy beast I am. But this is not about me,” Cassidy said walking into Shelby’s den to get her purse while Logan and Shelby talked for a minute. Cassidy was thinking of the first time she met Logan and Lance. Although Lance was good looking and they were twins, Logan had been, and still was, everything to her. She would pay top dollar to take a bite out of that crime.

  “Wow, Shelby you look...” Logan said looking her up and down. She was stunning; not that she was not before but she was much more accentuated like this and his dick was getting hard, to be honest with you.

  “I look…?” Shelby said leaving the end of the sentence open for him to answer. Shelby was starting to feel uncomfortable, so she started to look around her foyer. She had not even realized that the stained glass windows had finally been installed on either side of the front door today. Shelby LOVED her townhome. The interiors of her townhouse had been updated to meet contemporary standards of luxury while preserving their historic character. The kitchen and bathrooms were renovated with custom stone tiling, top-of-the-line appliances, and stylish fixtures. Meanwhile, historic details remained, including graceful floor-to-ceiling windows, wood-burning fireplaces, and ornate mantelpieces. Shelby had fallen in love with this home’s Italianate garden, complete with a Renaissance-style fountain. Then when you stepped out into the gardens, there was a lush oasis that few Georgians are ever privileged to explore.