by Vera Quinn
Chapter 16
Em
I came home after the awful confrontation with Chief and cried myself to sleep. I sunk into the pits of hell with self-pity. It will be the last time. I can do this on my own. I heard Joy come in early sometime this morning. She must have used her key to get in. She must have known I needed time to myself, because she didn’t come in to check on me. She is the best sister I could ask for.
I got up and took care of brushing my teeth and peeing for the third time. I don’t want to face Joy, or anyone, but I will. I just need to get a plan formed first. I can understand Chief wanting nothing to do with me, but not to want his child, I do not understand. In fact, it pisses me off. I know I can’t stay here. I don’t know where to go, except back home. It makes sense. I have some friends there. I already have a doctor I am comfortable with there. If I ever need help, I will have people I could ask. I know I can get my job back, because they begged me to stay and as of last week they haven’t replaced me. Mrs. Langston calls every week and checks in with me. If Chief ever comes to his senses, he can make the drive to see our child. It’s not across the country, just a little over a hundred miles. Enough distance to be comfortable. Joy can come visit when she can. I will miss her. We have become close again. Actually, closer than we’ve ever been. I reach across my bed to my night stand for my phone and send Mrs. Langston a text, and then I send another one to my office telling them I won’t be in today. I need the time to get everything lined up. I no sooner put my phone down when I get a text. Mrs. Langston responded and I can have my job back. She is looking forward to having me home. I text her back and tell her I have to give a notice and then I will be there. First hurdle done.
I get up and grab my laptop off my dresser and try to form a plan. I look at real estate firms in Pittsburg and Mt. Pleasant. Either will work. Even Gilmer would work. Pittsburg is in the middle. I want to lease, so I contact Jennifer. I know she handles leases and sales in the biggest real estate company in Pittsburg. We went to college together. I send her an email with my requirements and hopefully she can find me something. I still have money put back from Michael’s insurance I haven’t touched. I’m not a big spender, and I knew I might have a rainy day. Well, it is storming outside right now. I also send a text to the apartment manager where I am living. I have to find out what it will take to get out of my lease. Now all I have to do is tell Joy. I dread that, but she will understand, surely. For some reason, now that I have formed a plan, I feel calm and it feels right. This may not be the ideal time to be pregnant. This may not be the ideal situation. Chief isn’t the ideal man to be the father, but I will love this child more than anything in this world. Joy will love my child. Calm. I am calm. I can do this. I look at my clock and it is nearly eight. No time like the present to face Joy. I know she’s up. I heard her moving around. She must really be worried. She’s not usually an early riser. I may as well take the bull by the horns, as my grandpa would say. I take my phone and laptop and go into the kitchen were my sister is sitting at the table. She looks rough. I can imagine after crying myself to sleep last night I look about the same. I didn’t even bother to look at a mirror.
“Hey sis. You want me to fix you some breakfast?” Joy doesn’t cook and neither do I, so I laugh. “What? I can manage toast.” She laughs with me and I know it will be ok, but I am going to miss her.
“I’ve come up with a plan. I’m going back to Pittsburg.” I try to rush through so she doesn’t interrupt me. “I’m going to miss you, but I can’t stay here. I want and love this child already, and I know it’s not ideal, but it is a fact, so I want to enjoy it all. But, I can’t do that with Chief telling me he doesn’t want this child. I understand he doesn’t want a relationship. I didn’t do this on purpose. He was there that night too, and he could have worn a condom. He came to me, not me chasing him. I can’t believe he doesn’t want anything to do with his child, but I would never stop him from being in his or her life. I think I’m happy for the first time since I lost Michael.” I got it all out. It was jumbled but I hope she understands.
“Stop. I know. I’m going with you. I know Chief has a lot on his plate right now, but that was no reason for him to go off on you. You’re not Kim. You didn’t plan this, but I think he was so shocked you got lumped in with her. Doesn’t matter. He treated you horribly. I never thought I would lose my respect for Chief, but the man he was last night I do not respect.” I can’t let Joy give up her life here for us.
“Joy, you can’t give up your life here for us. You love it here. Just ignore this and go back to work.” Joy comes around the table and takes my hand, then she is leading me into the living room. As soon as we enter, I see her stuff stacked in the corner. “It’s done. I quit. I moved. I just hope I have a place with you and my niece or nephew.” I don’t know what to say.
“Of course, you have a place with us. I want you with us. I just didn’t want to be selfish and ask.” We hug each other and I know this is the right thing to do. “I’m getting my job back and I have contacted Jennifer to find us a place, but I need to add a bedroom. I sent an email to find out what I have to do to get out of my lease. I have to call and talk to my supervisor. I called in sick today.”
“You’ve done all this and it’s not even nine yet. Wow. So how about feeding your baby?” I just hope Joy will be ok with Pittsburg. It is a whole different kind of town. It has one grocery store, some auto-parts stores, a few restaurants, and fast food places, and convenience stores. We have to go to the next town to go shopping for almost anything else. It’s small town living. They roll the streets up at five, but it’s quiet, and everyone knows everyone. In the good, and bad ways. Gossip galore, but everyone says thank you and please, and men still hold the doors for their wives. I didn’t know I missed it so badly.
“Not yet. About ten. Right now my stomach is unsettled.” I set my laptop up on the table and send Jennifer another text about needing a three bedroom and not a two. I write a resignation and in it I only let them know I am pregnant and moving. I send it off. Two weeks is the standard, and that is what I give. I think about what else I need to do while Joy goes about making coffee. It smells so good, but I have to limit caffeine intake. My mind goes back to the one night that has changed my life. I can almost feel Chief’s lips on mine. His arms lifting me, but my computer dings and brings me out of my haze of memories. It’s from my boss’s office. I open it and it seems since I called in today and I am still on my probationary period I am no longer needed, so my resignation is accepted immediately. So much for being courteous. Just as well. “Seems as long as I can get out of my lease we can leave soon. My resignation has been accepted and no notice necessary. Good thing I don’t need a reference.”
“Let me talk to your apartment manager. I know someone looking for an apartment in a better area, maybe you can get out of it if you have someone ready to lease. I’ll go to the office now since you already texted them and talk to her.” Joy is amazing.
“Are you sure? I’ll take care of it if they don’t agree. I have the money to pay the lease off. I just don’t want to spend the money if I don’t have to. That’s the reason I saved from my job to get this place. Once I put money in savings I hate to take it out. I guess Michael and I barely getting by for so long taught me to save as much as possible. I still have his life insurance in the bank. I haven’t touched it since I put it in there. I paid what I had to and then put the rest in savings and left it there.” To tell the truth it feels like tainted money.
“Michael was smart to get insurance. He was always thinking of you. You two loved each other so much. I hope one day someone will love me like that, and I hope you find it again.” I don’t think it is in the cards for me. Don’t you only get one great love in your life? I’ve had mine, but I hope Joy gets it. She deserves it.
“You will find it Joy or it will find you. Michael was it for me. Apparently I have bad judgement in men now, or maybe I was just lonely. I am so attracted to Chief. Something about
him draws me to him. I think now I need to concentrate on my child to be.” I wish it could be different. I think of Chief all the time. It catches me off guard at times. He’s in my dreams, and my day dreams. I have to stop this.
“You said you are attracted to Chief. As in present tense. You care about Chief. Don’t you? It wasn’t just a one night stand for you.” Oh crap. I didn’t mean to let that out to Joy. Now she’s going to worry.
“Doesn’t matter. He isn’t interested. He’s made that clear.” Very clear, very loudly.
“Ok, Em. You’re right, we need to leave as soon as possible. The last thing you need in your life is a crazy-ass biker. I am going to go talk to the apartment manager.” Joy is up and out the door. I have decided to donate my furniture. All but the bed was second hand anyway. I’ll get more when we get there. Between our two vehicles we can get everything there. I hear a ding on my computer and it is Jennifer, she has three places available. I let her know I will be in touch with her this afternoon. Everything is falling into place. I have shut my computer down and gotten up to find something light for breakfast when I hear Joy come back in.
“If we can be out of here in two days and there is no damage, all you’ll lose is the last month’s rent you put up and the security deposit. That‘s a good deal. She has a couple wanting an apartment, but it has to be fast.” I text Jennifer and let her know we will be there the day after tomorrow.
“Are you sure you want to go and leave your life here Joy? I hate for you to give it up because of me, but I’m going. As soon as I have it all packed, then I am gone. I did everything I could to let Chief know, so I have nothing to regret.” I want her with me, but I would never expect it.
“Already done sweetie. We are all we have, so let’s get cracking and get us on the road to our new lives.” Joy’s right.
“Ok. Let’s do it.” I am excited for the first time in a long time.
Chapter 17
Kim
Chief threw me out like a piece of garbage last night. He will come crawling back. That other bitch is not getting in my way. If she tries, it will be her biggest mistake. Chief is mine, he just doesn’t know it yet, but he will. I will use this child to lure him in. He may be busy now, but when he thinks about it, he will want me. I know the kind of man he is. He is all about family. I’ll give him his DNA test, and then I will take him to the cleaners and get everything I want. When I am through with him, he’ll wish he never met me.
He rattled me last night. I can’t believe he knew about mine and Keifer’s embezzling from the club. Technically it’s Keifer. He’s the treasurer. I was also shocked he knew about our connection with Duke. I can’t warn Keifer though, because he might run, and I need him. Chief won’t tell Dad or Devil right now, so we are still safe. Chief was wrong though, no way did Dad shoot his own brother. He loves his family and would never do such a thing. Some men put the club first, but dad would protect us. Wouldn’t he? Now I’m not sure. No matter. Chief is too busy to let him know. That means I have time to get on Chief’s good side and then he will protect me and I won’t have to worry about it. If all else fails, I can go to Duke. He wants me and would never let anything happen to me. I have options. Keifer on the other hand is just fucked if he gets caught.
I’ll just be glad to spit this child out. My hips are getting wider and I am getting stretch marks. One good thing, the girls are larger and I play them up. First thing on my list is a nanny. I won’t be breast feeding, so the nanny can take care of the child while I do what I have to. I have to stay one step ahead of Chief and my dad. I am not going back to Oklahoma for a few days. That way mom has time to worry, and when I get there she will let me have whatever I want. I will play the dutiful daughter to be able to keep close tabs on what is going on. That brat of Devil’s is not getting what is mine. If all else fails, once this child is here I will be able to get whatever I want from my parents just to keep me around with the child. I don’t think I was meant to be a mom. I actually have no feelings towards the child at all. I don’t care if it is a boy or a girl. I don’t want to come up with a name. I guess I will come up with some name with a K. Like mom and Dad, to hook them even further. My next doctor visit I will have that sonogram thing. Mom is going if I can’t wrangle Chief into it, in fact it will be the best time to get him to go. Perfect excuse. Once he sees the child he will be hooked. Perfect plan, I am one smart cookie. I remember how everyone was about Callie when she had hers done. The whole damn office was full with people who wanted to see. It’ll be the same for me. Just three more weeks and we’ll see if it is a son or a daughter for Chief.
Not going home yet. Callie has her many male admirers chasing after her at her dead husband’s funeral. The brat is tucked away at ma and dad’s. Ma said I could practice holding a baby while he was there. I don’t want to hold my own when it gets here, why would I want to hold a woman’s who I can’t stand the sight of? Maybe I’ll just look Duke up for some fun.
Chapter 18
Chief
It’s been four weeks since we rode into Colorado and burned everything the marijuana growers owned to the ground. Callie was able to get her vengeance, and I paid my debt, while keeping my promise to Krill.
Callie was strong as usual. She amazes me more every time she is tested in life. She rises above and survives. She is living with Devil and Kellan in Oklahoma. She said it is what Dra wanted, and I know it is what Dra told her and he made Devil promise to take care of her. But, I wonder if it is more. They are living in the same house together, but they are not a couple again, yet, but I have a feeling it is just a matter of time. Devil has never stopped loving Callie and I know she has feelings for him. Things work out in the strangest ways. Kellan is the spitting image of his dad, but I have seen Callie’s stubbornness in him. He is the sweetest child. I love being a grandpa.
My mind turns to Kim and my impending fatherhood again. She postponed her doctor’s appointment a week so I can go. She wants me there to find out if it is a boy or a girl. I need to go, but I have no will to. I don’t want to get invested until I have a DNA test, but I am going. I will get to see Kellan and Callie while I am in Oklahoma.
Rye and Bourbon have been keeping me updated on Stone’s comings and goings. They would never let anything happen to Callie while she is there. She is, and always will be, their little princess, even if she is a grown woman. They have also let me know Duke has been around and him and Kim are still hooking up. They have some pictures just for Steel and Devil’s eyes when the time comes.
Then I think of my other child on the way, Em’s child. Our child. I know that child is mine. I was a complete ass to her that night, and I have thought about going and finding her and apologizing, but I have to deal with Kim first. I need to apologize to Em and Joy. I want Joy back at the club running the club girls and taking care of the bar. Things ran so smooth when she was here. I thought she would be back by now. I haven’t seen her around town anywhere working, so she has to be running low on money by now with no job. Surely if she had a job in town I would have run into her. I know what I want to do. I want to make Em mine. I have tried to get her out of my head, but I can’t. I haven’t even been with a woman since that night, and it has been months, four to be exact. Not my normal. First I need to deal with Kim, though. She is nothing but poison. I would never be with her, we would only poison the child with our hate.
I see Tazer and Shield come in the back door. Blake and ZMan are at the bar. Most of the members are here already. Today we vote on Blake, officially. He’s been riding with us so it’s time for a vote. He retired his badge and it is time we either give him his cut, or cut him loose. He rode with us in Colorado like the brother he is. My faith in him has been restored and I think everyone else’s has, also. He apologized to Rye and Bourbon in person, and they accepted it. Today is his day.
I am just about ready to head into my office when Driller and Hammer approach me. Driller looks like shit. I wonder what is wrong. Then I look at Hammer and he look
s nervous. “What’s wrong with you two? Driller you look like you slept in your clothes last night, and Hammer you look like you could jump out of your skin. What the hell is up this time?” Driller’s eyes are blood shot, so I know something is up with Laura. In fact, I haven’t seen her around much lately and I’m an ass for not asking why.
“Can we go into your office?” Driller is barely holding it together, and I know something has happened to their baby. Not again.
“Sure brother.” I walk ahead of him, but I stop at the bar and grab a bottle of whiskey and three glasses. Then I walk into my office behind them, shut the door, and go and sit behind my desk. I pour each of us a glass and I wait to see who is going first. “I’m ready when one of you are.”
“Laurie lost the baby last night, and this time they had to do a hysterectomy. I need some time off to help her adjust. I just don’t know if she can come back from this. Kelsey is at the hospital with her. They had to sedate her.” Driller has tears in his eyes. I know how much they wanted this child. This is the third time she has miscarried and the grief they feel each time is disheartening. I just wish there was something I could do.
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have been there for you. It’s what we do.” I feel so bad for wallowing in the mess that is my life while my brother has been dealing with life and death circumstances.