by Vera Quinn
“I messed up, big time. How can I fix it? I thought he would come back and fix everything. I just want to be safe and keep our son safe. I know bad things happen to good people. Michael dying proved that. I can’t lose my son.” That was the reason, she was thinking of Michael dying.
“Sis, you have to let Michael go. You can’t compare the rest of your life to what happened to Michael. Bad things happen and it’s a tragedy, but you didn’t die and he wouldn’t want you scared all the time.” I’ve been trying to get her to understand this for three years.
“Can you find Cam for me? I need to apologize and hope he accepts it. He told me he loves me and I told him I love him.” I knew they loved each other.
“Ol’ lady lesson number five, he will come back when he is ready and don’t force it. A biker on his bike is a biker at peace. Leave him to it, and if you are lucky, one day it will be with you behind him. Your hair blowing in the wind and your arms snugged around his hard abs and your girlie parts getting up close to his body, the beast between your legs purring.” I am almost poetic.
“Damn Joy, you make it sound almost sexual.” She has not been on a bike enough.
“Only if you’re lucky sister. Only if you’re lucky.” I wink at her. Thinking of…
“I need to change the subject for a second.” I look at her and I have her attention. “I’m going to be pregnant soon. I signed the papers with Driller and Laurie. My treatments for the artificial insemination starts tomorrow. Tomorrow I report to pin cushion duty. They start the injections so I will produce more eggs. After that they will harvest and then fertilize. When they take, then they will implant.” I feel good about it.
“Sounds like a science experiment, but I know Driller and Laurie will make great parents, and it is a very kind thing to do. Are you sure you can do it? You know, give the baby up.” Em is concerned for us all.
“Em, the baby is not mine. It is Driller and Laurie’s. I am their incubator for nine months. I have no desire to be a mom, now or ever. I’m not you. You are the nurturer. Not me. If I change my mind later, then I can still have another child. I promise, Em. Please just hold my hand.” I need my sister.
“Ok Joy, I’ll hold your hand. I’ll do whatever you need.” I am glad. I will need her.
“Killman’s memorial is tomorrow. I’ll be here with you while Chief attends.” Em has a look on her face.
“Joy, I want you to help me. Is it at the clubhouse? I want to be there for Chief. I heard everything you said, and I should be there to stand beside Chief and help him. Can you get the doctor to let me out? Me and Gage. I want to surprise him. Please Joy?” She’s right, and if it is safe I will help her. She will be Chief’s ol’ lady and be by his side. Right where she should be.
Chapter 27
Sarge
This stupid bitch I have in my sights thought she could kill Callie. I watch her and she is as arrogant as her asshole brother. The man she was fucking shot my brother Stealth. Tazer shot Duke, and now I will take out the bitch who if left alive would be a thorn in that family’s side until her son is eighteen. She’s shooting that poison into her veins. It’s no wonder she’s crazy. No one else is with her in the hotel room. They have all gone out to party and left her here. Too bad. I could have killed them all at one time. She thinks since she is in a better place, she is safer. Not true. When I hunt someone they are never safe. I hunt, I stalk, and I destroy. The marines gave me the skill set. The club gave me a setting to hone my skill. These assholes gave me a place to execute it. Just a little further out of the shadows and I have my mark. One, two, breathe, squeeze, and she is no longer a problem for Callie. Kim is dead. Just like Karen. Callie is safe again and I am closer to repaying the damage I did to her heart. There is nothing left of my heart. I threw it away the night I fucked around on Callie. I will repay her until my dying day. That’s all death is to me now. I feel nothing when I kill except redemption….
Chapter 28
Chief
Killman was honored today. He was a brave man who protected those he cared about. He was BlackPath to the bottom of his very soul. There wasn’t a dry eye when Felix gave his love a touching eulogy. Michael “Killman” Martins was loved by all. When he came to us, he was soft and shy. He became skilled and someone everyone could depend on. Even after he earned his road name, his childhood nickname followed him, Woody. He will be missed. The church was filled to capacity with standing room only. The procession to the burial site was one that did justice for a member of The BlackPath MC. All the BlackPath MC, the Feral Steel MC, Rebellions 4Blood MC, and the BlackPath Warriors MC were present and led Killman to his eternal resting spot. We all said our good-byes and honored him. Now we are headed back to the clubhouse to give him a send-off BlackPath style.
I haven’t seen Em since I walked out of the hospital. I need to think and she needs to think. My mind has been taking care of our last tribute to our brother. Em and Gage are always in my thoughts, but I needed space from Em. I visited Gage in the nursery last night, but it was late. Joy stayed with Em. I’ve spoken to Em on the phone, but there is a wall between us. She says she knows I have responsibilities and she is fine with Joy being there.
The thought of not having Em with me every day is not something I can embrace. I like having her with me, but I cannot walk away from the club any more than I would be able to walk away from my children. It is in my soul. Sometimes I think it is in my DNA. I have told her my terms and what I need, she will either be there with me or I will learn to live without her. It will rip my heart out, but it is what it is. The wind and the freedom of this ride has built up the resolve I need. I see the clubhouse ahead and I will honor Killman the rest of tonight. Tomorrow hard decisions will be made.
We keep formation as we turn into the drive for the clubhouse. The prospect in the guardhouse watches as we all make it through the gates. He will lock us in when we are all inside. We are still on alert for trouble and we won’t be letting our guard down anytime soon. When I park my bike I see Joy’s car parked up close to the front entrance. She should be at the hospital with Em. I wonder what she is doing here, then I can’t believe my eyes. Em is coming out the front door with Joy behind her holding Gage. Em is not supposed to be home until tomorrow. Everyone is parked and we make our way to the doors. I go to Em and she has a sad look on her face and there is doubt in her eyes. Callie, Felix, Devil, and Tazer make their way over, too. “Em what are you doing here? You’re weren’t supposed to get out until tomorrow.” She looks at me and gives me a shy smile.
“Ol’ lady lesson number one, if you love the man you stand beside him always.” What the hell? I look at Em and then Joy. Joy is smiling.
“Heck yeah it is.” Callie grabs Em’s hand and pulls her in for a hug.
“So I got that one right? I’m new and still learning, but I want to learn them all.” She is still looking at me. My woman loves me.
“You’ll never learn them all.” Em moves her eyes to Callie to see if she is serious. “Didn’t they tell you? The men add as they go. Something happens and they make another rule. I’ve lost count.” Everyone laughs at that. “Don’t worry though, the consequences to not knowing a rule is usually as rewarding as learning them.” Callie winks at Em. I am going to have to have another talk with Callie about sharing too much. I don’t even want to know. I eye Devil and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t have a big grin on his face. I really should have killed him.
“I’m glad you’re here, but are you okay? If you get tired you can go to our room.” I don’t want her to set back her recovery.
“I’ll be fine with you and our family beside me. Let’s go honor Killman now. He more than deserves it. I missed the funeral, but I want to be a part of tonight.” I take my son from Joy and we make our way inside. I make my way to the front of the bar. All the food is set up and everyone makes their way in. I take Em to my normal table and I see they already have it set up for Gage with a portable crib to stay in and a couple others for the other
two boys. They thought of it all. Callie makes her back over with Kat beside her. Callie has Kellan and Kat has KD. My two uncles are there along with all our extended family. I put Gage down in his crib and go to shake hands with everyone and get everyone settled. Fifteen minutes later I see Felix has made it to our table and it is time to start. I make my way to the front of the overflowing room.
“I want to tell each of you that we are happy you all could make it to the BlackPath clubhouse this evening to join us. I am not a speech maker of any kind, so I am doing this without notes. First, I would like to say at the funeral today we mourned the passing of a good man and strong brother, Michael “Killman” Martins. For what we lost and what should have been a much longer life. When we escorted his body to his final resting place we said our good-byes to “Woody and things that will never be.” This evening we are here for a totally different reason. We are here to celebrate his life and send off our brother’s memory that will never be forgotten not only inside these walls, but inside each of our hearts. So share your stories and memories of him and drink a toast to a man that lived his life free and who always had his brother’s backs to his dying breath. Everyone raise your glass.” I reach behind me and get a beer and raise it. “Here’s to Killman, salute.” Everyone drinks and claps. I wait for it to die down a little. “Let’s eat.”
We made it through the day eating, drinking, and sharing stories of Killman. I see the day is taking its toll on Em. She has been by my side except for the occasional times I had needed a private talk with someone and then she would quietly excuse herself and help the other ol’ ladies making sure everyone is fed and their glasses were full. She’s never asked what out talks are about, or even raised an eyebrow when things were getting a little loud. Callie and Kat are taking KD and Kellan and putting them down for a nap. I make my way over to Em to help her with Gage. “Babe, do you need some help? I can go help you put him down.” She smiles up to me.
“I’ve got it, Cam. I’m sure there is an ol’ lady rule about not taking you away from gatherings where you might be needed.” I see the tiredness in her eyes. She’s trying to be funny, but I think she’s too tired to care.
“I love you, Em.” I know she is trying and I want her to know that so am I.
“I love you, too. I want to ride with you Cam. You said it was my choice and I don’t want you to doubt for one minute what my choice is. I choose you. I will never ask you to choose between me, our sons, and your club. Your club is part of you and I know that, I was just scared. I am not scared anymore.” I love this woman. Then it dawns on me what she said.
“Our sons. As in more than one.” She nods her head.
“KD is ours, too. Right now I will need a little help, but he is mine, too. I want him to stay with us. He looks just like you Cam. We can go to court and get him.” My world is complete now. I could never pick between my children. I knew Em had the capacity to love KD, but I was hoping she would want to help me raise him. Now KD will know the love of a good mom just like Gage. I will hunt Kim down and make her sign the papers myself if I have to.
“Hold on tight, babe. This will be the ride of your life.” I kiss the top of her head… I know the next eight weeks are going to seem the longest of my life. I finally have the woman of my dreams and it will be another eight weeks, while she heals, before I can fuck her. Damn my life. I bend down and kiss her again when I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I turn to look and there is Sarge and Diamondback. I look around and see ZMan and Tazer by the bar and motion for them to come over.
“Tazer make sure Em gets Gage back to our room and gets situated.” He nods his head. He’s still sulking because Sarah was here with a big diamond engagement ring on and wouldn’t give him the time of day. Be careful what you wish for. Tazer wanted to let her go and he did, but he doesn’t like the consequences.
“Gladly, and then I am out for a little while, but I will be back for the bonfire.” Tazer has gone off the deep end. He came in a few days ago with his head completely shaved again. What’s next? He gets Gage from Em and they head for the hall.
I motion for Diamondback and Sarge to sit down. ZMan has made it over and he sits, too. “Okay, what’s up?” I look at Sarge and each time I see him now he looks further away. His eyes look dead. Diamondback keeps his voice low.
“Kim is no longer an issue. She’s been neutralized. Callie doesn’t have to look over her shoulder waiting for her to strike again. We have tabs on the others.” Hearing Kim has been taken out brings me no happiness, but it does bring me relief. I know now KD can grow up in happiness surrounded by love and not have Kim’s craziness touch him. I look at Sarge and I know he is the one who did it. That’s why his eyes look dead. How many has it been now? When will he snap?
“Who do I owe?” I don’t like owing anyone, but this time it is worth it.
“Let’s just say it is payback for taking Duke out. He shot Stealth and the BlackPath MC took him out. Turn-about is fair play.” Sarge’s voice is flat and without emotion.
“Is that all it was?” I have to know.
“Chief, I won’t lie to you. Anyone that ever tries hurting Callie, I will neutralize. She deserves better. She deserves everything. I broke her heart, and I will forever try to make up for it. She was my world and I destroyed it. Now all I can do is make up for it.” I see he means every word, but how long until he breaks? He will do what he wants or what Daimondback tells him to.
“Diamondback, you helped us with the Stone situation, so I am giving you a heads up. In December Callie will meet Micah and Maddie. We found out she has sisters and they will be here for Christmas. I am also going to tell her about her brother Braun. She has a right to know and it is time. You have until then to come clean with her, but I will not put it off a day past that. Do the right thing.” With that I get up and head across the room to my daughter. I nod my head towards my office and she meets me there. We go in and I shut the door. She gives me a big hug.
“How’s Felix? I haven’t had much of a chance to talk to him tonight.” She shakes her head.
“About as well as I was a little while ago. I can’t believe this happened again to us. Killman was like a brother to me. I can’t count the times he made me laugh or was just here for me. I’m going to miss him. Felix went home. He couldn’t take anymore. Mr. and Mrs. Martins are with him. They treat Felix like a son, I am glad he has that.” Me, too. Felix’s parents never have accepted he is gay. They faked it for a while, but their true colors showed through. Felix is a fine young man, and I consider him as my son. I consider all of Callie’s friends she grew up with as part of our family. They ate my food, slept in my house, and talked to me about their problems. The only thing I didn’t do is carry them on my taxes.
“How are you, Baby Girl? You seem happier than I have seen you in a while. Are things okay with you and Devil?” Callie needs and deserves some happiness in her life. All the shit she’s been through in her life is more than any one person should have to endure.
“Dad, I am great. Really great. I haven’t forgotten Dra, but I know he would want me happy. Kylar makes me happy. I don’t know if I ever stopped loving Kylar when I started loving Dra. Does that make me an awful person?” I know this is something that is weighing on her, so I need to listen.
“No it doesn’t. It makes you confused and human.” I know she has matured through all of this, but she is till my little girl.
“I was so hurt when Mase cheated on me. I mean, I just knew we were going to be with each other forever.” I knew she still hurt from that. “With all my hang ups from growing up with Karen as a mom, he knew how I felt about cheating. Then he betrayed me. It shook me to my core. Then here was Kylar and he was going to give me the means to put Tommy’s murder to rest finally. I’d given up on the love thing, so why not an arranged marriage? But I fell hard for Kylar. Kylar made me wonder if what Mase and I had was even love or just attraction.” Callie has been on a rollercoaster of emotion for a long time. “Then I
found out Kylar betrayed me and I met Dra. Dra was a breath of fresh air. He swept me off my feet, literally. He was honest with me to the point it hurt. He was my everything. I have never felt the pain I did when I was told he was dead. I thought I would go through life with no soul, but Kylar would not let me. He has held me when I cried. Held me when I wake up from nightmares. He would not allow me to crawl into a ball and give up. Him and Kellan kept me sane. I fell in love all over again and he wakes me up every morning with a kiss and a reason to smile. I will always have feelings for Dra. He holds a special place in my heart, but I love Kylar with everything I am. I need to tell you something, and please don’t be mad.” I look at her and wonder why she thinks I would be mad, but I see happiness and love in her eyes. I nod my head at her.
“You look so happy, baby girl. How could I be mad?” It’s the truth. Anything that brings her that much happiness cannot be bad.
“Kylar and I were married again yesterday. We went to the JP. I know we should have told everyone, but it’s not the right time. We didn’t want to wait though. Tomorrow is never promised and Killman dying proved that to us, so we just did it. It was just Kylar, myself, and Kellan. Please be happy for me, dad.” I am. Devil has proved he can be trusted taking care of Callie and Kellan. I can’t say I like Devil, but I do respect him and in our lives that is more important. I get up and go to Callie and give her a big hug. My daughter has turned into an amazing woman.
“I’m happy for you Callie, but if that bastard ever hurts you again, I will put him to ground.” Then I remember why I brought Callie in here.
“Sarge took Kim out. I needed you to know that, and I need you to be careful around him. He’s changed. His eyes are dead Callie, and I think his soul is, too. Sooner or later he’s going to snap and I don’t want you to be part of the fallout.” I put her at arms-length so I can see in her eyes she understands.