Without You

by Julie Prestsater

  My eyes fluttered closed and I soaked in everything about that feeling. The warmth of his presence so close to me. The scent of his cologne and the taste of his minty breath on my skin. Slowly, he lowered his head, his cheek brushing softy against mine. Without thinking any longer, I reached out with my empty hand and placed it on his hip, squeezing it, letting him know how much I wanted him. Before I committed to anything more, I turned my face into his and pressed my lips to his cheek. The corners of our mouths touched and it was as if fireworks ignited all over my body. I wanted nothing more than to turn this into a full-blown embrace and smooch, but I backed away catching him lick his lips when I opened my eyes. That was it. I needed to go. I slid into the seat of my car, murmuring, “Goodnight, Evan. I’ll let you know as soon as I walk into my door.”

  Son of bitch. Why had I gotten so close to him? I could barely put the key in the ignition, fumbling with it like a damn fool. I was so stupid. But, god, that had felt so nice.

  EVAN

  She came to see me on tour. At every local show, I looked for her. Hoping that by some chance in hell, we could talk. So I could tell her how much I missed her, needed her, and how I knew I had fucked everything up. I had given Luke and Genna tickets, thinking she might come, but in the seat I had imagined for her was always another friend. I would look down into a sea of faces searching for her. Searching for the spirit that was lost in me without her to share those moments with. I loved my music, but it never seemed to sound the same without being able to gaze into her sexy, sparkling eyes while I sang my heart out.

  I wished so much that I could go back in time and change the past, but Maddy had given me something new to focus on.

  She kissed me. I could have skipped back into my house after she pulled away. I would have loved for her to stay with me, even to just watch a movie, but I would take what I could get. She wasn’t ready for that yet. Not even ready to give me a real kiss, but her lips touching the side of my mouth did something to me that I didn’t know it could. That small token of affection gave me hope. Real hope that she still had feelings for me. Boyfriend or not, she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. There was no denying the electricity that flowed between us. We still had it.

  I could feel it from the moment I leaned down, snuggling my face against hers. I could have taken her right there against her car, but sometimes the buildup is what was needed. When I finally got to taste her again, completely without either one of us holding back, the world was going to know it because we would both be crying out with a pleasure we never knew existed.

  Oh, Madison Grey. My life has been so dark without you. You light up my soul like no one else has. No song, no melody is the same without you. Give me the chance to be alive again.

  If I had any doubts about my plans before, they were definitely gone now. I needed to talk to Sam about my project and set the plans into motion. It was time.

  * * * * *

  The night before, I waited until Maddy let me know she made it home okay. It was a short text, but she did say she enjoyed spending time with me. Besides the kiss, it was the perfect ending to a perfect night. I spent the rest of the evening on the phone, making plans with Sam and letting him know exactly what my thoughts were. He seemed pleased and eager to see where the idea might go.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “Because there is always a chance that it won’t work out with Madison and then you’re going to be stuck.”

  I didn’t have to think twice. “This isn’t completely about Maddy. It’s something I need to do for myself, too.”

  “I’m on it then.” That’s all he said before hanging up the phone. And that’s all I needed to hear. It took some of the pressure off knowing he was behind me—that he thought I was on to something and wanted to be in on it, too. My fingers were crossed that my plan would come to fruition and Maddy would love the idea as much as I did.

  It was going to be a few more days before I got to see her again, but I had plenty to keep me busy. I called Genna to find out what needed to be crossed off next on her checklist. As long as I wasn’t making myself sick with cake or shopping for dresses I thought I could handle what she threw my way.

  “Dance lessons?” Why would anyone need to take dance lessons? It was pretty simple. You held each other and swayed back and forth. “You don’t expect me to learn some choreographed number for the wedding, do you? Because I think I can handle a slow dance.”

  “Oh, shut your pie hole and just get there. It will be fun, I promise.” She didn’t say anything else before hanging up the phone. Not even a goodbye.

  After making an egg and toast for breakfast, I wondered around my house trying to figure out what to do next. I could have sat down to write, but I was too pumped for that. I had an enormous amount of pent-up energy that I needed to expel. The one way I would have liked to get a little release was off limits, for now. Maybe a little pool would do the trick. I hadn’t played well when Luke came over to visit. Maybe some practice would help.

  When I looked at the pool table, I thought of what Maddy said. “Perpetual bachelor pad.” While I didn’t think my house screamed single guy, I guessed it could have been freshened up a bit.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Genna again. “If you could do one thing to my house so it doesn’t look like a man cave, what would you do?”

  She laughed into the receiver.

  “I’m serious, Gen. Help me out.”

  A sigh could be heard, along with another snicker. “Fine. Your kitchen is amazing, so don’t touch it. So are the bedrooms. You need to do something with that massive boy-toy living room.”

  “It’s a great room,” I corrected her.

  “Well, it ain’t all that great from a woman’s point of view. There isn’t even a place to eat a proper dinner unless you sit at the counter in the kitchen. Get a dining room table and maybe get an enclosed entertainment center for all your video games. Luke, and all his controllers and games thrown everywhere, makes me want to break something. Toss a few throw pillows on your sofas and you’re good to go. Maddy will love it.”

  “Excuse me?” I had to hide the laughter.

  “Oh, did I say that out loud?” There went the snickering again. “Bye, Evan,” she said in a singsong tone.

  A dining room table, huh. That would be easy enough. It was time to do some shopping.

  Maddy wanted “stable.” She was going to get it.

  Chapter 6

  MADISON

  “Room 18, this is Ms. Grey.” My class got the evil eye while I tried to pay attention to the call from the office. “What? Are you kidding me?”

  “No,” the principal’s secretary said. “If you’d like me to ask him to leave I will, but, honey, if I were you, I’d let him have a visitor’s pass.”

  “Fine,” I told her. “Send him over.”

  Evan was one step away from the looney bin for coming to my work. What in the world was he thinking? My colleagues didn’t know I knew him. Once word got out that he was there, people were going to flip their shit. It’s not as if I could keep something like that under wraps. It was a small school and the rumor mill spread faster than germs in a petri dish.

  Turning back to my eager students, I had to think of something quickly to keep them busy. “Change of plans, everyone. Take out your independent reading books and read silently for fifteen minutes. Remember, I’d like you to use your sticky notes for any times you feel any kind of emotion while you’re reading. Books should evoke feelings within you. If you’re not feeling it, you need a different book. Go.”

  Immediately, there was chatter and clatter as my seventh graders dug into their backpacks. For some unknown reason, these kids hadn’t mastered the art of doing anything without opening their mouths.

  A gentle knock at the door didn’t faze my students, but as soon as Evan walked in, the noise killed to silence.

  My evil stare fell on them again. With a finger pointed in their direction, I said, “Read.�
� Instantly, they were all facing forward, books in hand, pretending to do as I said. Like I didn’t know they were giving our visitor the once over.

  Taking him by the sleeve, I ushered him to the corner of the room where my desk was. “What in the world?”

  “Wow. That was something else, Sunshine. I don’t want to be on the other end of that look.” He fluttered his brows at me and my knees went weak. He held out a bundle of flowers. White and yellow daisies. My legs wobbled even more. I had to place my hand on my desk to steady myself. “These are for you, Sunshine.”

  I didn’t notice them in his hands when he came in. This was all new to me and it was making me very nervous. “Thank you, but what are you doing here?”

  Evan gave me that sexy grin. I wished he would stop turning me into a pile of sappy mush, especially in front of my class. “I was out shopping and I saw these flowers and thought of you. You’ve seen me in my element many times. I thought it would be cool to see you in yours.” He tugged his ball cap off his head and ran his fingers through his messy brown locks. Damn, I had always thought he looked adorable with hat head.

  Sudden gasps had us both looking in the direction of my students.

  “Holy shit, that’s Evan James,” one of the boys in the back shouted.

  Zeroing in on that section of the room, I gritted my teeth. “Watch your mouths.”

  Abigail, a sweet shy thing raised her hand.

  “Yes, Abbi?”

  “Ms. Grey, is he really Evan James?”

  I sucked in a gulp of air and exhaled a long slow breath. Then, I gestured to Evan. He had started it, now he had to finish it.

  Evan put his cap back on, this time backwards so my students could see his face. He walked over to Abigail and held out his hand. “Hi, Abbi. I’m Evan James.” She put her shaky little hand in his. “Nice to meet you.” The exchange made my heart swoon.

  “Nice to meet you too, Mr. James.”

  He dropped her hand and waved her off. “Call me Evan.”

  Another student raised her hand and I nodded. “Ms. Grey, why is Evan James in our classroom?” My students had the old deer-in-the-headlights expressions on their faces, and that girl looked like she was about to vomit.

  Again, I deferred to Evan.

  “Ms. Grey and I went to high school together. We’ve known each other most of my life. I thought it would be fun to see what she does for a change. Plus, I wanted to give her some pretty flowers.”

  More hands shot up.

  Goodness. Looking at all the hands, I decided to call on one who I could count on not embarrassing me. “Jessica.”

  She looked in Evan’s direction. “Are you hooking up with Ms. Grey?”

  Obviously, my impression of Jessica had been wrong. This time, I answered the question. “No, Jessica. Mr. James and I are not...hooking up.”

  “Are you dating?” Who was she? A reporter for People?

  Evan laughed and now, he got my evil glare. “No.” He hushed the class with his hands, trying to bring down the barrage of questions that followed. “Ms. Grey and I are not dating. We’re very good friends. Since I don’t want to cause any more of a disruption, I’d better go.”

  The students groaned, not wanting our famous visitor to leave. This was probably the most excitement they had all year.

  Abbi raised her hand again and Evan called on her. “Mr. James...I mean, Evan. Thank you for stopping by. Maybe you can come again, when Ms. Grey says it’s okay. I’m sure our class would love to ask you some questions. Like a career day. Many of us enjoy your music, and some of us are musicians and singers, too.”

  The young girl made me smile. She had spoken more in the last few minutes than she had all school year. Evan had that effect on people.

  “I’d love to, Abbi. Thank you for the invite. Ms. Grey can invite me back any time.”

  I took this as my cue to get him the heck out of there. “Okay, class, say goodbye to Mr. James.”

  Again, I pulled Evan by the sleeve and pushed him out of my classroom. I followed him into the hall and shut the door behind me. “You can’t just tell them you’ll be back any time. They’re kids, Evan. They’ll expect it.”

  “And why is that a problem?” He touched his hand to my upper arm and a wave of calm came over me.

  “Because...you’re leaving. The wedding is only two weeks away.”

  “Who says I’m going anywhere, Sunshine? I haven’t. If there is a day you’d like me to come back and play career day, let me know. I’ll be here.” He smiled, hitting me with that sexy grin and washing all my previous fears away. And maybe, putting some new ones in their place. Damn him and that sexy smile.

  He wasn’t leaving? He was sticking around this time? And he was willing to talk to my students again. He knew how much my students meant to me. Seeing him interact with them, even as brief as it was, reminded me of the time we spent as summer camp counselors for the Y. Those had been some of the best times of my life, solidifying my desire to be a teacher. There was no doubt, even then, that Evan had a way of reaching kids. He would play his guitar and make songs like “Little Bunny Foo Foo” sound cool to sing. The teenage boys would do anything if Evan did it first.

  Maybe having him back for a Career Day wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

  And maybe, just maybe...a second chance with Evan was worth the risk. He didn’t want to be just friends. He wouldn’t have gone to see me and bring flowers if that was the case. He wanted more and made the effort to show me he cared. That spoke volumes to me. Part of me felt terrified. Part of me was starting to believe in us again.

  “Okay, then. Thank you. I gotta get back.” I hiked my thumb toward the door. “I’ll see you later.”

  Before I could stop him, Evan leaned down and kissed my forehead. Damn him for making me all gooey inside. My cheeks flushed with heat. I’m sure my face was as red as can be.

  “See ya later, Sunshine,” he said from over his shoulder as he walked away.

  I waited a few seconds before I went back in. When I opened the door, the sound of chairs scraping against the floor and the shuffling of bodies into their seats could be heard loud and clear. With a raised brow I looked into the sea of faces staring back at me, each with a grin so wide you’d think they just caught their mom kissing Santa Claus.

  Thank you, Evan James for changing my life. Again.

  EVAN

  Dance lessons were for people who didn’t know how to dance. I was a musician who lived off his ability to keep a beat. I could dance. So could Luke for that matter, so why Genna was forcing the wedding party to get dance lessons was baffling to me. I might have been tempted to tell her she was crazy if she thought I was going to spend my evening listening to some ballroom instructor tell me what to do, but it wasn’t like she had been awful to deal with. She had been quite helpful when it came to Maddy, and I was having a great time being back home with her and the rest of my friends. So I didn’t comment. I just showed up as I was told.

  As I made my way into the studio, I thought about the offer to do Dancing with the Stars. If Sam only knew what I was doing right now, he would kill me. He begged me to do that show for his mom, but I couldn’t do it. I had to draw the line somewhere and spray tans and shirtless dancing seemed to be a good place to start.

  “Hey, man,” Luke said when he saw me coming through the door. “Just in time. Go stand over there with Maddy. We’re learning a waltz right now.”

  I couldn’t help rolling my eyes, they had a mind of their own. “Roger that,” I said with a salute.

  “Wow, Mr. James,” Maddy said to me, holding her hands up in a position to dance. I slid into her hold and took control. “You look very nice today.”

  Glancing down at my dressy attire, I smiled. I couldn’t very well dance in my sneakers and jeans. I had to put on shoes that would let me slide across the floor. “Why, thank you. You look very nice, too. That dress may be the death of me before the night is out though.” She sure didn’t look like a middle schoo
l teacher. Sheathed in a pastel pink dress, it clung to her every curve, making me want to explore more than just the dance floor with her. I couldn’t resist letting my gaze fall to the length of her smooth legs. They begged my fingers to trace a path from her tone thigh down her flexed calf to her sweet polished toes peeking out the front of her heels. I knew she’d rather be wearing sandals, but damn, she looked good enough to eat, and I wouldn’t have minded taking a bite.

  She was about to say something, but the music changed and we were hushed. We listened to the teacher as we moved around the room on our toes. I felt like a buoy bouncing up and down in the ocean. It was lame. I would have rather dimmed the lights and held Maddy close to my body with her hand over my heart.

  We made our rounds and it finally occurred to me why we were there. Matthew and Steven couldn’t dance. Not one bit. To say they had two left feet would have been a compliment. “Trying to teach them how to waltz is not going to help. Genna knows that, right?”

  Maddy’s eyes widened as she tried not to laugh at the two big guys stomping their feet like ogres. “Be nice.”

  The music changed again, leaving both of us looking at each other with wicked grins. If the guys couldn’t handle a waltz, they sure as heck wouldn’t be able to Salsa.

  “This is a basic Cha Cha Cha,” the instructor said. She cut in on Melissa and danced with her husband. Taking one of his hands and placing it on her hip, she held the other as she swayed her hips back and forth to the rhythm of the music. He tried, but it didn’t work. Melissa, the poor thing, winced as if it was painful for her to watch, which it was.

  “Let’s dance, couples.” The teacher clapped her hands, leaving Melissa to her husband again. “I want to see you move those hips. Bring out the sexy in your partner. Make love on the dance floor.”

  My eyes met Maddy’s as she raised her left brow. “There will be no love making,” she whispered. “Don’t get any ideas.”

  “Sunshine, if you didn’t want me to have those ideas you should’ve worn something else.” My gaze followed the length of her amazing body from her neck to her toes and right back up. “Like some footie pajamas.”