Snowman

by AC Netzel

  He tried to do her hair. That’s so friggin’ sweet.

  “Whatcha doing?” she asks.

  Lusting after your uncle.

  “Umm. Just hanging around,” I say casually. “Eating cookies and stuff.”

  She glances between the two of us and takes another bite. “You should dance with Uncle Nick.” Cookie crumbs poof out of her mouth.

  “Noelle, eat with your mouth closed,” Nick reprimands.

  She rolls her eyes and swallows what’s left in her mouth. “Are ya gonna dance or what?”

  As usual, this kid cuts straight to the point. The last thing I need right now is to be wrapped in Nick Snow’s arms. I have a tough enough time keeping this ache for him at bay. If he touches me, I can’t be responsible for my actions.

  I crouch down to her level. “I think your uncle would rather dance with you.” Looking up at Nick, I offer a conciliatory smile. “Isn’t that right?”

  He smiles back, aware that I’m trying to douse our flame, and holds his hand out to his niece. “Absolutely. May I have this dance?”

  Noelle beams as she takes Nick’s hand and leads him to the dance floor. Standing back up, I lean against a wall near the table and watch them. She’s adorable, standing on her tiptoes on top of his feet while they dance. He says something to her, and she giggles as they continue to waltz across the dance floor. There’s no doubt he adores that little girl. The sight fills my heart. The endearing way he is with Noelle… ugh… he’s absolutely, positively, irresistible.

  And. So. Fucking. Hot.

  His eyes lock with mine from across the room with a yearning I’m sure I’m reflecting back. This is crazy. I barely know him. I’ve always found Nick attractive, even when I hated him. But there’s something more here—a connection.

  “Summer, right?” My wandering thoughts are interrupted. “Do you remember me?”

  It’s hard to forget someone who wears eighty pounds of hair gel.

  “Of course. Joseph the barber.” I offer my hand to shake, but he pulls me into a bear hug. I forgot this guy is the mayor of Huggerville. Why is it that everyone in this town is touchy-feely except for the one pair of hands I want touching and feeling me? “Wow, that was some hug.”

  “Don’t mind him,” the very pregnant woman beside him says. “Joseph comes from a long line of huggers. I’m his wife, Mary.” She holds out her hand, and we shake.

  Like normal people.

  “I’m Summer. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “You’re the land developer from New York?” she asks, patting her round belly.

  “Guilty.”

  “How do you like Arid Falls?”

  “It’s a wonderful town. And decorated beautifully for Christmas.” I purposely left out one word in my description. Strange. It’s a wonderfully strange town.

  “It really is,” she says proudly. “Sadly, we won’t be here for the Annual Blooming of the Christmas Cactus.”

  The what?

  Don’t ask.

  I nod like I don’t think that’s nuts as she continues.

  “We’ll be away, visiting family this Christmas,” she explains.

  “Always nice to see family around the holidays. Where do they live?” I ask.

  “Bethlehem. It’s a town in Pennsylvania.”

  “I’ve heard of it.”

  “Joseph and I are having trouble getting a reservation for a place to stay. There’s no room at the inn. At the rate we’re going, we’re going to end up sleeping in a barn,” Mary jokes.

  “Well, I hope you find something,” I mumble while scanning the dance floor for Nick. I know I should be more invested in this interaction to gain some support for the condo project, but I can’t pull myself away from the draw he has over me.

  They continue to talk to me about all things Arid Falls. I try my best to look interested in their small talk and travel plans, but once I spot Noelle on the other side of the room with Holly and Kris and Nick nowhere to be seen, I stop listening completely.

  Fortunately, Mary and Joseph decide to take a spin on the dance floor when the DJ plays ‘their song’—Away in a Manger. They excuse themselves, leaving me to fend for myself.

  I look across the dance floor and spot Holly and Kris slow dancing together. They smile at each other like they haven’t a care in the world. This is love. Real. Vibrant. True. The love I grew up witnessing was cloaked in grief. But this couple in front of me is love alive.

  And it’s beautiful.

  Fighting the urge to locate my unhealthy obsession, I come to my senses and set out to do what I came here to do. I need to work the room and introduce myself to anyone who will listen to me about the project. I grab a candy cane off the table in case I need a little sugar rush and walk the perimeter of the barn. Trying to give off a welcoming and approachable vibe, I grin like an idiot and greet anyone I make eye contact with.

  Normally I’d think all this overfriendly smiling would make me look like a deranged escapee, but in this place… I fit right in. I shake hands and schmooze as I stroll around the barn. Everyone already knows who I am. Small town, big mouths. Careful not to oversell and turnoff the goodwill the locals are offering, I patiently wait for them to bring up the condos. When they do, I answer each question with the thoughtful and caring expression I practiced for an hour in front of the bathroom mirror earlier this afternoon. Expertly, I spin any negative concerns until their body language tells me they’re satisfied.

  “Hi Summer,” Noelle says as she stops in front of me, pausing my goodwill tour.

  “Hey, done with your uncle already?” And do you know where he disappeared to?

  “Yup.”

  “You’re an excellent dancer.”

  “I know,” she says confidently. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure. I guess.”

  “But you can’t tell Uncle Nick.”

  “I can’t make that promise.”

  “Please,” she pleads.

  “Why don’t you tell me what it is, and we’ll take it from there.”

  Her eyes shift back and forth as she weighs her options.

  “Okay,” she says. “There’s a Valentine’s Day dance at my school in February.”

  “Ah.” I nod, amused. “And there’s a boy you’d like to go with?”

  “I’m eight,” she huffs, rolling her eyes. “I don’t go anywhere with boys.”

  I stifle a chuckle. “You’re right. My bad. What about the dance?”

  She looks to the ceiling, then to the floor, and kicks the wooden floorboard. “It’s a father/daughter dance.”

  “I see.”

  “And I was wondering…” Her voice trails off as she struggles to get the words out—the poor kid.

  “If your Uncle Nick would go?” I ask, completing her thought.

  Her eyes widen and she nods slowly.

  “Sweetie, I’m sure he’d be thrilled to go with you.”

  “But he’s not my real dad. And…and I’m afraid he won’t go ‘cause I’m not his real daughter.” She twirls her braid around her index finger.

  I crouch down to her level. “You know he loves you, right?”

  She shrugs.

  “Sweetie, he loves you just like a dad loves his daughter. Like your dad loved you.”

  “Do you think my real dad would be mad?”

  “You know why you live with your Uncle Nick? Because your mom and dad knew he loves you just like they did.”

  “He loves me like my mom and dad?”

  I give her a reassuring smile and nod. “Exactly like that.”

  She looks down at the floor again and shakes her head.

  “I’m afraid I’m going to forget them,” she says softly.

  My heart breaks for her. When I was growing up, this was one of my greatest fears. That I’d lose my mother all over again once the memories faded.

  “I was about your age when my mom died, and I worried about the same thing.” I take hold of her hand. “I promise you will never for
get them.”

  “Really?”

  I smile, opening my arms wide then wrap them around her. “Really.”

  “So, I can ask him?”

  “You sure can.”

  “Do you think he’ll go? I mean, he has to wear a tie.”

  I chuckle. “I know he’ll go.”

  She smiles wide. “Summer?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “I have one more question.”

  “Okay…”

  “Do you think I could call him Uncle Dad sometimes?”

  “Uncle Dad?” I choke up and my eyes mist. “Yes, sweetie. I think he’d love that.”

  She answers me with a dazzling grin, her blue eyes sparkle. “Thanks, Summer.”

  “Anytime.” I wrap my arms around her and give her another heartfelt hug.

  She hugs me back. “I’m going to find my friends.”

  “Okay. Have fun.” I unwrap my arms and watch Noelle skip away with a smile on her face. I stand from my crouched position, feeling… fulfilled.

  And really proud of that little girl.

  Once Noelle vanishes into the crowd, I continue my goodwill tour. Spotting Carol the caroler, I make a quick one-eighty. I’ve already reached my limit on hugs from strangers for the day. When I turn, my smile quickly fades, and my stomach sinks as I stand glued in my spot.

  Nick and Ever are having an intimate conversation in the corner of the room. She touches his arm as she speaks, occasionally allowing her hand to linger on his bicep.

  He’s not my anything… but it feels like he’s cheating on me. His gaze meets mine, and I quickly look away, not wanting him to see the hurt in my eyes.

  Like a cold splash of water, this is my reality check. I’m not part of this community. I’m an outsider who’ll soon be gone, and they’ll go on without me. He’ll go on without me. I’m foolish to have put myself in this position—to attach myself to something that doesn’t even exist.

  I’m here to work. And like his two neighbors, Nick is just a part of my job. I need his property, a signature, and nothing else—especially his affection. It’s clear who he wants. And rightfully so. I suppose they’d be the ‘it’ couple of Arid Falls. Our flirting, the attraction, the desire, isn’t authentic.

  It was all my imagination.

  Turning back around, I stare directly at them, pretending it doesn’t affect me. His eyes haven’t left mine as Ever babbles on and on.

  I remind myself about the job promotion I’m working so hard for, my apartment upgrade, and that incredible view of midtown Manhattan from twenty stories up. Achieving all these goals might make my impossible-to-please father proud. And I can finally shake feeling like a fraud and earn this victory on my own.

  Then something snaps inside me as a pang of irrational jealousy shoots through me. Something reckless, counterproductive, and wildly self-sabotaging. Knowing he’s watching me, I have the inexplicable urge to have a little fun at his expense. I know I’m completely blowing my game plan, but I can’t stop myself.

  Never breaking eye contact with Nick, I peel the cellophane wrapper off the candy cane still in my hand. Flipping it over, so the curled hook is gripped between my fingers, I suck the long stick end. I slide it in and out of my mouth in the most sexualized way imaginable, occasionally allowing my tongue to peek out and wrap around it.

  This is what this place has reduced me to. I’m in the middle of a crowded barn—deep throating a candy stick’s shaft.

  I’m a peppermint pornographer.

  I did a lot of stupid things in college, usually when I was plastered—but I think right now, with my completely sober public display of confectionery sluttery, I’ve just sunk to a new low.

  I’m not sure if I’m doing this to turn him on or piss her off. This behavior is totally out of character for me. It’s beyond unprofessional.

  And I don’t care.

  I take delight in watching Nick’s Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows hard. Subtly, his tongue runs over his bottom lip. I deep throat my candy cane again, then take a bite off the pointy tip. A faint smile twitches up from the corner of his mouth. He says something to Ever. Her dazzling smile undazzles as she nods and says something back. After giving her a friendly pat on her shoulder, he walks toward me while Ever goes in the opposite direction.

  The problem with doing something impulsively out of your ordinary is you don’t think things all the way through. I wasn’t expecting him to approach me, and I don’t have a clue what to do. What am I going to say? I can’t admit I got jealous and retaliated by blowing a peppermint stick.

  That’s nuts… even for here.

  He stops in front of me, raising an amused brow. I look up at him, batting my lashes. Without saying a word, he holds out his hand, palm side up. I think he wants to take me to the dance floor, but I’m still feeling a little wicked and uncharacteristically impetuous. I place my half-eaten, thoroughly sucked candy cane in his palm.

  Without missing a beat, he picks it up with his free hand, licks it, his tongue wrapping around it, then sucks on it.

  Holy shit. That was hot.

  Leisurely, he slides it out of his mouth and brings it to mine, skimming the wet candy across my bottom lip. I part my lips slightly as he slides it in my mouth. In and out, in and out. Unhurried. Deliberate.

  Dirty.

  Good God, we’re having candy cane sex in the middle of a crowded barn.

  Slowly and sensually, he slides the candy cane in and out of my mouth one last time making my insides tingle. He tosses the remaining candy stick over the table until it lands in a garbage can on the opposite end.

  “Dance with me,” he says, holding out his hand once again.

  A ripple of excitement races through me as I place my hand in his. He leads me to the middle of the dance floor, still holding my hand, quickly twirls me, then places his free hand on my hip just as the DJ plays ‘Please Come Home for Christmas.’

  He pulls me close to his chest. I rest my free hand on his shoulder, impressed with his muscular build. Closing my eyes, I envision his lips pressed against mine and how wonderful that would feel. I inhale deeply. God, he smells good… clean, masculine, amazing. We sway together, like one, completely in sync. I look up at him as he gazes down at me. I nearly lose my balance when his index finger glides across my cheek when he tucks a few loose strands of my hair behind my ear. He says nothing, but his eyes give everything away. I see the conflict he’s experiencing, as I’m sure I’m mirroring it back.

  He leans forward and dips me, making me smile. A genuine happy one. Then he pulls me close, the air between us thick with need. His nearness is overwhelming my senses. I know we’re dancing too close, but I can’t bring myself to pull away. My cheeks flush as heat rises throughout my body. His heart beats rapidly through his shirt, noticeably faster than it was just seconds ago.

  In this moment, I know everything I feel, and everything I thought he felt was not in my imagination. It’s all very real.

  With Nick’s strong arms wrapped tightly around me, I feel like I’ve stepped in a life that’s been waiting for me to find it. For the first time since I arrived in this crazy little town, I think I’m where I belong.

  Chapter 24

  “Nick,” I whisper, realizing that I can’t allow myself to feel this way.

  “Mmm,” his voice is soft. He holds me a little closer, pressing his forehead against mine as we sway slowly to the music.

  “We can’t.” I look up at him, shake my head, and take a small step back as an emptiness fills my heart.

  “I know.” He nods, gliding his hands down my arms until he’s holding mine. We gaze at each other with silent longing.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah.” He offers half a smile as he releases my hands. “Me too.”

  “I… Umm.” For the first time in my life, I’m speechless.

  “Let me get you a drink,” he says, saving me from my brain blackout.

  Breathing a sigh of relief, I nod. “
That would be great.” I could use a good stiff cocktail to calm my shot nerves. Heavy on the stiff.

  “Wait for me by the dessert table. I’ll be right back,” he tells me.

  “Okay.”

  “Any requests?” he asks.

  The entire bottle would be fine. Preferably a billion proof. No glass necessary.

  “Whatever you’re having.” As long as it’s one-part alcohol and the other part alcohol.

  I lean against a wall near the table, trying to blend into the background. I don’t know if anyone witnessed what just transpired between us on the dance floor, but since I can’t explain it to myself, I sure as hell can’t explain it to someone else. What happened was more than a harmless flirtation and passing attraction. Much more. I felt it. And I know he felt it too.

  Why does something that feels so right, so damn-near perfect, have to be so wrong?

  After a few minutes, I spot Nick walking back with two disposable cups in his hands. God, he’s handsome. What I would give to run my fingers through his thick, wavy hair. How I’d love to unbutton his shirt, one by one, and touch the hard body that was pressed against mine a few short minutes ago.

  “Careful,” he says as he hands the cup to me. “It’s hot.”

  I look down and watch a huge marshmallow bob up and down.

  “Oh,” I say, faking enthusiasm. “Hot cocoa.”

  “Not just any hot cocoa. The best hot cocoa.”

  I do an internal eye-roll. Everything in this town is ‘The best. Award-winning, blah blah blah.’

  “It’s won several awards,” he boasts.

  Of course it did.

  “Super. Thanks.”

  He faces me while my back is still pressed against the wall. I scan the room for a familiar face, someone to call over to serve as a kill switch for this electric charge crackling between us. But I come up short.

  “So… uh… where’s Noelle?” I ask, aiming to steer our conversation away from what just occurred on the dance floor.

  “Over there.” He points to the opposite end of the barn where she’s sitting at a small picnic table, chatting animatedly with a few other kids.

  Being an only child myself, it warms my heart to see her interact with other children. When I was her age, my playmates were the characters in my books, and my interactions were mostly with adults. I thought that was the way I wanted it, but after watching her, I realize that maybe I missed out.