Home on Seashell Island

by Brenda Kennedy

  It didn’t get overlooked that my sister said “girlfriend.” I’m curious if this is just a friend girlfriend or if it’s the girl Sarah kissed and they’re girlfriend girlfriends.

  “So, you have a hot date with Beau?”

  “I do, and if I don’t hurry, I’ll be late.”

  “Okay, say no more. We’ll be in the pool. Make sure you stop out there so we can see you.”

  “Okay, I will. It’s nice to meet you, Chloe.” I watch as they exit my bedroom.

  “Likewise.”

  I finish applying my mascara as I listen to Sarah and Chloe laughing on the patio. I begin to feel anxious as the time gets closer. I pray that I say and do the right things tonight. I don’t want to humiliate Beau in public or any other place. Mom raised us better than that. It’s not like curse words just fly out of my mouth, do they?

  I dress and slip into my shoes as I wait for Beau. I want to be ready when he arrives.

  Normally, I would have a glass of wine to calm my nerves. Not tonight. I’ll have to rely on prayer to get me through. Well, that and deep breathing just in case the answer to my prayer is “Help yourself.”

  I pace the house, straighten my bed, and wipe off the kitchen counters before I realize he’s supposed to have already been here. I check my phone to see if I had a missed call from him and I didn’t. It’s already past five-thirty. Why hasn’t he called?

  “Hey, what time’s your date?” Sarah calls from the pool.

  I slip off my shoes and walk out onto the patio. “A half an hour ago.”

  “Did you call him to see what happened?”

  “No.”

  “Carly, maybe something happened to him. He wouldn’t just not show up.”

  I hate thinking that something happened. “He’ll call when he can. I’m not going to call him.”

  “I wouldn’t call either,” Chloe agrees.

  After a few minutes of deliberating on what to do, I ask, “Well, what do you guys want to do for dinner?” I look out into the pool as they rest their arms on the cement ledge.

  “Chloe, do you want pizza at the house or do you want to go out for dinner?”

  “I wouldn’t mind staying in unless you’d rather be alone.”

  I think she’s talking to Sarah when I look up and see she’s talking to me.

  “Because I got stood up by a preacher? No, I can cry and mope around the house with y’all here. I don’t need to be alone for that.”

  “Don’t feel like that. I can already tell it’s his loss.”

  I have no idea where Chloe came from, but I like her. “Thank you.”

  “What do you want on your pizza?” I ask, standing to walk into the bedroom to get my phone to call and order the food.

  “Anything,” Sarah lies.

  I don’t think she means to lie, but I know she likes only pepperoni and cheese on her pizza.

  Chloe rolls her eyes and gives me a knowing smile. “Whatever you order, I’ll eat.”

  I return a short time later with the pizza and I’ve decided not to waste a perfectly good evening thinking about Beau or what I could have done to make him not want to be here tonight. I look at my sister and Chloe, who are still swimming.

  I toss down the extra towels near the edge of the pool and place the pizza on the table. “Do y’all need some water, wine, or pop to drink?”

  “No, we’re fine. We still have some wine,” Sarah says, walking out of the pool. I go back into the house and get some water, paper plates, and napkins.

  It feels good having Sarah and her friend here to take my mind off of Beau. I’d hate to think something happened to him, but I don’t think that’s the excuse for why he hasn’t called. I know deep to my core that he realized I’m not the kind of person he needs in his life. I shouldn’t feel sad about that, but I do. I knew all along he needed someone as special as he is and I’m not that girl. Just ask Spencer. He replaced me probably even before I moved from the apartment.

  “Hey, on second thought, we will take a water,” Sarah yells.

  “Coming right up.”

  I set the water, plates, and napkins down on the table.

  “Any news from your date?”

  I look up at Chloe and shake my head. I want to say it doesn’t bother me, but it does. Not because I thought we’d get married and have two-point-five kids and a dog, but because I thought he was different.

  “I’m sorry. He’s a jerk and you’re too good to be treated like that.”

  Chloe and I both look over at Sarah.

  “What? I was being nice.”

  “We can tell,” Chloe and I say in unison.

  “Jerk” is a kind word coming from my sister.

  “I’d rather not talk about him if you don’t mind.”

  “Wanna play quarters?” Sarah asks. Quarters is a drinking game.

  I can see a look being passed between Chloe and my sister. Is this the game that was played when my sister first kissed a girl and was that girl Chloe? Is there something going on that I should know about?

  “I think I’ll pass.”

  Sarah says, “If I hear you crying, I’m heading over to his house and giving him an earful of verbal abuse.”

  I know she means well. “You don’t know where he lives.”

  “We’re on a tiny island, so how hard will it be to find him?” She uncrosses her arms. “I mean it. He’s not worth your tears.”

  “I know you’re right. I just thought he was different.” It makes me feel like I’m not good enough. I have a sadness in my heart I never expected. Why do I feel this way about Beau when I didn’t feel even a smidgen of sadness when I left Spencer? “No, don’t go over there. I just need a night to feel sad and then tomorrow I’ll feel better.”

  “I can understand that,” Chloe says. “He pulled on your heartstrings and that hurts. Give yourself tonight but not a minute longer. Life’s too short to be sad.”

  “Thank you, Chloe.”

  After the pizza’s gone, I stand from the table. “Can you guys clean up?” I ask Sarah.

  “Go on. We got this.”

  “Thank you.”

  That night I plan to do what Chloe says. I’ll give myself one night to be sad, then tomorrow will be a new day. I’ll feel better in the morning, even if I have to fake it. It was just a date, so why am I so sad? Because I thought I was at least worth a phone call. An apology. A chance to prove my value as a human being. I’m a good girl. Can’t he see that? I cry myself to sleep and dream of an old lady who resembles me living in a house full of cats.

  The next morning, I check my phone only to see there’s nothing to see. Still no call or text. I shower and dress in a sundress before I have my coffee. The sun’s shining, and it’s going to be a gorgeous day on the island.

  I’m surprised to see I’m not the only person up. Chloe and my sister are already sitting outside on the patio having their coffee. They’re already dressed for the day.

  “You guys are up early.”

  “We went running around the island this morning. Coffee?” Sarah asks, holding up the carafe.

  “Yes, please.”

  “Gram, Mom, and Pap are on their way.”

  “Why? You didn’t tell them…”

  “Relax. There was nothing to tell. Mom just called and said they’ll be here about noon. It’ll be nice having everyone together again.”

  Sarah’s right. It will be nice. “You’ll love Mom, Gram, and Pap,” I tell Chloe.

  “I can’t wait to meet them. Sarah told me so much about your family that I feel like I already know them.”

  “You won’t be a stranger; they’ll make sure of that.”

  I have my coffee before Sarah and I pick up the house. We start changing the bed sheets and quilts, then run the sweeper and dust. Chloe also starts sweeping off the front porch.

  Just before noon we see a car coming down the long driveway. Sarah and I stand excitedly. This is perfect timing for them to come. I’ve been so busy this morning that I ha
ven’t had time to think about Beau. I’m so happy to have my family together. We walk off the porch to greet everyone as they park the car. Sarah and Chloe go to the driver side, and I open the passenger-side door for Gram.

  Her hug is warm and welcoming. “Look at you,” she says lovingly.

  “I’ve missed you, Gram.”

  “We just couldn’t get here fast enough,” she admits.

  She looks at me as if I’m the only person standing here. I know she also makes Sarah feel the same way just as she’ll make Chloe feel special, too. This is why I’ll never feel like I’m good enough for anyone. No one can ever make me feel as special as Gram, Pap, and Mom make me feel.

  “You look so thin — are you eating enough?”

  “I am. I’m fine.”

  “When Tony called, he said you were in the market only a few times for groceries. Unless you’re eating out three meals a day, there’s no way you’re eating enough.”

  I want to question Gram as to why Beau’s dad would have called her, but I don’t.

  “I’m fine, I promise. You had food in the pantry and I also made chili.”

  I don’t mention an insane amount of pizza and wine.

  “Okay, as long as you’re eating.”

  I kiss and hug Mom next. She looks amazingly young and beautiful. That’s also the gene I never got. I never knew why she didn’t remarry after Dad died. At first, I thought she was devoting her time to raising Sarah and me, but even after we moved out of the house, she remained alone.

  “How are you, Carly?”

  “I’m better now. I’ve missed you.”

  She places her hand lovingly on my cheek. “You look tired. Are you sure everything’s all right?” It’s not an insult, but a caring observation.

  “It’s fine, I promise.”

  “We’ll talk later.”

  “Okay, Mom.”

  I walk over to greet Pap next. He hugs me and picks me up slightly off the ground. “Tell me again why we waited so long to come together as a family.”

  “I have no idea, but better now than never.”

  “You know that’s right. Are you enjoying your time here?” He searches my eyes for honesty.

  “I am. I’ve missed it here.”

  “Me, too. Help me carry the groceries into the house, will ya?” Pap says, opening the car door.

  “Y’all brought food?”

  “Tony called and said you weren’t eating and you know how Gram and your mother are.”

  “Pap, I’m eating.”

  “I believe you, but they insisted on stocking the shelves in the pantry. Believe me, there was no arguing with either of them. Besides, it was time to restock. Never know when you’ll have bad weather and be unable to get out for groceries and water.”

  I don’t know if I ever knew that Pap and Gram brought food into the beach house to stock the pantry for everyday use and bad weather. That makes sense. Bringing food onto an island can be costly for the vendors selling it, which means they have to raise their prices to cover their cost.

  Once everything’s carried inside and put away, I overhear Pap talking about the sermon on Sunday.

  A long time ago while my mother was a young girl, Pap was the part-time preacher at the very same church Beau runs. The church has been rebuilt since then, but it still stands on the same corner lot.

  “You’re giving the sermon in the morning at the church?”

  Mom, Pap, and Gram look up at me. Pap says, “Tony called and said Beau’s not able.”

  I know Beau’s all about his family and his religion. What could possibly have happened to prevent him from delivering his Sunday’s sermon?

  “Pap, did Tony say why?”

  “He didn’t go into details, but he said Beau and his daughter would be away for a while. Beau is already gone, and Tony is looking after Myra, but she will join Beau quickly.”

  Did I chase Beau away? Did he leave because of me? I have to know. “How long will you be staying on the island?”

  “Just until Sunday evening. Gram has a doctor’s appointment this week.” Pap watches me with concern. “Carly, are you okay?”

  I put on a fake smile. “I’m fine. I’ve been helping out with the kids on Wednesdays during choir practice.”

  Mom and Gram smile with pleasure. “Oh, Carly. That’s wonderful.”

  “Thank you, Mom. It feels good to be useful,” I say honestly.

  “Good for you, Carly,” Pap says proudly. “Is that little boy still eating the craft supplies?”

  “Jimmy?”

  “Yeah, that’s him.”

  “Yeah, he does.”

  “His dad did the same thing at that age. I’m still not convinced he ever stopped.” I want to laugh, but I’m not sure Pap’s kidding. He opens his Bible. “I’ll plan for the sermon one week at a time. Hopefully, Beau will be back next week.”

  Mom and Gram start dinner while Chloe and Sarah sunbathe by the pool. I go into my bedroom and debate on whether or not to call Beau. Maybe something happened to him. Why would he be out of town? I decide to send him a text.

  Carly: Pap’s here and said he’ll be giving the sermon on Sunday. I hope everything’s okay with you and Myra.

  I expect an immediate response so I’m disappointed and hurt when he doesn’t reply.

  The night is spent with the family. We have dinner and play board games. I notice Sarah is on her best behavior. Pap is fine with having a glass of wine with dinner or in the evening, but he doesn’t tolerate drunkenness. Public or otherwise. He also doesn’t tolerate colorful language.

  “What time are we leaving for church in the morning?” Sarah asks.

  “We should leave here at 10:30,” Pap says, looking at his watch.

  “They had potluck last weekend while I was there.”

  “That’s right. Tony did mention something about that.”

  Gram stands up and heads into the kitchen. “I best be making something to take.”

  “I’ll help you, Mom.”

  I watch as Mom and Gram disappear into the other room.

  “What’s the matter, Carly?”

  I look into Pap’s knowing eyes.

  “It’s a guy.” I don’t know if I said that because he’ll understand or because he won’t want to talk about it with me.

  “I never did like that Spencer.”

  Sarah and Chloe peek into the den where we’re sitting. “Heading out to walk the beach. You wanna come?”

  “No, I’m gonna stay here,” Pap teases.

  “You sure, Pap? You can come, too.”

  “I’m sure, Sarah. I got work to do. Carly, you wanna go stretch your legs?” Pap asks.

  “I’ll go.” I stand up and kiss Pap on his cheek. Thanks for the chat.”

  It really wasn’t a chat. But he did say something I found interesting. He said he never liked Spencer. This is news to me. I said I had guy problems, but I never said who the guy was. Is it my fault he made a wrong assumption?

  “Anytime you wanna talk, I’m here.” He looks up at Sarah and Chloe. “That goes for the both of you, too.”

  “Thanks, Pap.”

  Sarah, Chloe, and I walk around the island. I’m silent as Sarah shows her around. We walk down Shell Lane as the vendors are putting away their merchandise and closing up shop for the day. I hear a screen door close and look up to see Tony and Myra leaving the market. I search the surrounding area for Beau, but he isn’t around.

  Myra sees me and smiles.

  “Hi, Myra,” I say, waving.

  “Hey, Tony,” Sarah greets him.

  “Hey, big Shorty and little Shorty.”

  Sarah introduces Chloe to Tony and Myra. “Will we see you both at church tomorrow?”

  My eyes shift quickly over to Sarah. I know what she’s doing. Although I didn’t want her to ask, I’m anxious to hear his answer.

  “No, I’m sorry to say we won’t be there tomorrow. We’re getting ready to head out of town.”

  “Yeah, we’re g
oing to see my mommy,” Myra says, innocently.

  One thing I know for sure is that children don’t lie. My heart falls to the pit of my stomach. I wish I had known Beau was back with Myra’s mom. I want to excuse myself, but my quivering lips prevent them from forming words.

  “Shorty, I’ll have Beauregard call you when he gets a chance. I hate to be rude, but Myra and I need to get going.”

  I remain silent and walk away as Tony buckles Myra into her car seat. I don’t know what Sarah says to them and I don’t care. I quietly walk away.

  Even if we didn’t have anything going on, at least he could have called me and canceled our date. I’m hurt and I don’t know if I even have a reason to feel this way. Because it was rude to keep me waiting when he knew damn good and well he wasn’t coming. That’s why. How hard was it to call me or even reply to my earlier text message?

  Sarah and Chloe stay behind me. I think they’re behind me. I haven’t looked back as I march myself home. They might have stopped off to watch the sunset. I hope they did. I don’t want to ruin their evening.

  I walk into the house, closing the door behind me. Mom and Gram are still in the kitchen.

  “I’m not feeling well, so I’m going to take a hot bath and go to bed.”

  “Where’s Sarah and Chloe?” Gram asks with concern.

  “They stayed back to watch the sunset.”

  Walking past them, Mom asks, “Can I get you something?”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  When I get into the bedroom, my cellphone’s flashing indicating I have a missed call or a text message. I soon realize it’s a text from Beau.

  Beau: Carly, something’s come up and I can’t get into it over the phone. I’m not sure when I’ll be back on the island. Please accept my apology. I never meant to hurt you.

  What? That’s it? No explanation? I never meant to hurt you? I guess I can chalk this up to the shortest relationship in history.

  I take a bubble bath then cry myself to sleep.

  Beau

  When Leslie’s mom, Phyllis, called to tell me about Leslie, I was shocked, hurt, and mad. I know that anyone who does drugs has the potential to overdose. Even though you know this is a probability and it most likely will happen, there’s no way for anyone to prepare for it. With the drug Narcan readily available to medical professionals, many people are surviving what used to be a death sentence. The only problem is, you must still be alive when someone finds you for the prescription drug to work.