by Suzanne Hart
He had his hands stuck deep in the pockets of his dark pants. He was wearing a navy shirt and no tie or jacket. I felt my heart thud painfully in my chest at the sight of him. This wasn’t fair. Right when I was so close to getting away, here he was! His blue eyes seemed to bore a hole in me and I was frozen to the spot.
“Sorry for just showing up here, Lisa. I needed to speak with you,” he said.
“How did you find me?” I asked, with my hand still on the door, clutching it tightly.
“I have my ways,” was all he said.
I couldn’t help but feel a little joyous that he was here. In the nick of time.
It was almost like he knew I was going away forever. That these few hours was the last chance we would have of seeing each other again. But there was also that part of me which reminded me of his deceit. He’d manipulated and used me to get a hold of my father’s company.
“Can I come in, Lisa?” He asked. I stepped aside and then shut the door behind him.
“What are you doing here, Julian? I thought my father made matters very clear to you,” I said.
The realization that I had a very important thing hidden from him… within myself, made me nervous. Would he be able to see it in my eyes? That I was carrying his child.
Julian looked around my apartment, and his watchful eyes caught everything.
“Are you going somewhere?” He asked when his gaze fell on the bags near the living room door.
“Why are you here, Julian?”
“Where are you going, Lisa?”
Neither of us wanted to respond to each other’s questions, instead we just glared at each other in silence.
Seeing him again was all the evidence I needed that I’d never get over this man. Julian Hunt had me hooked and I was going to always have feelings for him.
“I’m going to Dublin; I’m leaving New York,” I told him and I watched as the color drained from his face.
32
Julian
Lisa was just as beautiful as ever, even in those old faded jeans she was wearing and the oversized t-shirt she had on. The neck of her t-shirt slid down her slender shoulders and I could see the bright red straps of her bra. It was all the reminder I needed that I had seen her beautiful naked body.
I tried not to be turned on, but my cock moved in my pants. It was impossible for me to not want her when we were in the same room together.
And now she was telling me she was going to leave New York?
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked, losing control of my senses a little.
“Just what I said. I’m leaving New York, giving up this apartment and moving to Dublin. It’s pretty clear cut,” she said and crossed her arms over her breasts.
I followed her every movement, watched every breath that she took. Her long dark hair was tied up messily on top of her head and a few stray locks fell over her delicate face. I wanted to kiss her, take her delicious mouth in mine and suck her lips. Every minute I spent with her here without touching her, was torture.
“Your father is still in the hospital,” I growled.
“You don’t have to remind me!” She snapped.
“Then why are you leaving?”
“Because I have to. And anyway, I don’t have to explain myself to you. Not after what you did. I know, Julian. I know everything,” she screeched. The tip of her nose had turned red and her lips were quivering as she spoke. I wished I could wrap her in my arms and make her believe how I felt about her.
She meant everything to me. How was I supposed to explain that to her? What reason would I give?
“You know what your father told you, Lisa,” I said and she shook her head, whipping her face away from me.
“I can’t believe you’re still trying to do this. I know you hate my father. I know what you want to do to the company. It’s not just a silly joke anymore, Julian. It’s the freakin’ truth!”
I took a step towards her, but she stepped away from me.
“Why are you here? What could you possibly have to say to me now?” She asked.
I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. I knew this was going to happen before I came here. Why would she believe a word I said?
“You’re right. You’re right about everything. I hated your father and I wanted to destroy him,” I confessed.
Lisa glared at me, with little tears watering up her eyes now. What had I done?! This was the last thing I wanted to do—make Lisa cry. Her lips quivered. She couldn’t believe I’d just admitted the truth to her, but she deserved to know. I wasn’t going to do what her father did to her. I wasn’t going to lie.
“So, you’ve finally admitted it,” Lisa said.
“Yes, I had an ulterior motive for buying the shares of the company,” I replied.
I watched as she shook her head in disbelief.
“And what were you going to do?” She asked.
“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. All I knew was that I wanted to gain control of your father’s company.”
“Because of something that happened twelve years ago,” she stated.
I felt ashamed when she said it like that. I was seeing myself through her eyes, and realized how petty it all sounded. I was acting like a child.
“And what about me, Julian? You… we… you fooled me into thinking that you actually cared about me,” she said. Her voice was weak and shaky now and I wanted to hold her again.
“Lisa, you have to understand that things changed once we… when I got to know you. Yes, it started off like that, but I changed my mind. I really did want to help you. I still do,” I replied.
Lisa was refusing to look at me. I could see that she wasn’t buying anything I was telling her.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Julian,” she said.
“Yes it does. The news has broken. Everyone knows what happened to your father. The share prices have dropped and very soon, people are going to find out what he was involved in. I can make it go away. For you,” I explained.
Lisa snapped her head up to look at me.
“Please, I don’t want you to do anything for me. You’ve done enough already. While we were in bed together, while my father was lying in a coma in the hospital, you conveniently forgot to mention that you were doing all that for revenge. I’m so ashamed of myself!”
She walked away from me and I followed her to her kitchen.
“I know it’s my fault. I should have come clean sooner, but I’m telling you the truth now. I wouldn’t have done anything to hurt you, Lisa!”
She was opening and shutting the cupboard doors of the kitchen, looking for something… and eventually I realized she wasn’t looking for anything. She was just doing it to avoid looking at me, and having to face me.
“I don’t believe a word you’re saying, Julian,” she finally said.
I pressed my eyes close. This was frustrating. There was no way I could stop her from going now. And why should I? What right did I have? If I tried to stand in her way, it wouldn’t make me any better than Alan.
“All right,” I replied.
It seemed like she was surprised to hear me give in so easily. She stopped what she was doing and turned to look at me.
“All right?” She asked.
“Yeah, if you want to leave, I’m not going to stand in your way, Lisa. You’re free to do what you want. I have no control over you, and I shouldn’t. You’re an adult and a free person,” I explained.
She gulped as she stared at me, and for a moment, I thought I saw in her eyes a look like she was hiding something. What could she have to hide from me? It was what it was.
Just a short-lived whirlwind affair, and now it was over.
“Yes, I’m going to go to Dublin.”
I nodded.
“Well, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you find what you’re looking for,” I told her.
We were staring at each other, and finally I saw that she wasn’t angry with me anymore.
Her eyes watered but she blinked her tears away. Then she held her head high up.
“It meant nothing to me,” she said, but I could see that she was lying.
“Okay,” I said.
“I’m serious. It meant nothing to me.”
“Then why do you have to leave the country? You’re trying to get away from me, aren’t you?” I asked.
Lisa rolled her eyes. She was still trying to act strong.
“I’m trying to get away from Daddy, as much as I’m trying to get away from you. It’s funny how much you hate each other, but how alike you are. The same cold hearted, calculating and business minded men. I need to put some distance between people like you and…” she didn’t finish the sentence, instead, she walked out of the kitchen and to the front door.
I knew what she was saying. She was ordering me to get out, and I had no choice but to respect her wishes.
I followed her to the door.
“Lisa…”
“Don’t say anything, Julian. It’s just goodbye,” she snapped.
I touched her shoulder lightly but drew my hand away. She didn’t want me touching her, and that was exactly what I deserved.
“Goodbye, Lisa,” I said.
“Goodbye, Julian,” she retorted and I had barely taken a step out of the door and she slammed it on my face.
I clenched my jaws in frustration.
I didn’t regret coming here, because clearly this was the last time I was going to see her. I was frustrated with myself, because this was all my fault. I shouldn’t have fallen for her, and when I did, I should have told her everything.
Now, I was losing the one woman who had the ability to make me truly happy. The woman who would complete me.
I took the stairs down to my car and looked up at her window. She had the curtains tightly pulled and there was no trace of her. She had no interest in watching me leave. That goodbye marked a clean end to our relationship and that was how it would be.
The only thing I could hope for, was Lisa’s happiness.
33
Lisa
Julian was gone and I felt miserable. I knew I hadn’t done a good job of hiding my feelings from him. He had to have known that I was lying. He meant everything to me, and now I was carrying his child. I would never be able to forget him either.
Instead of allowing myself to burst into another volley of tears, I gathered my bags and went to my car. I had one last stop before I drove to the airport.
I arrived at the hospital, just twenty minutes from the end of visiting hours. I needed a few more minutes in the car to calm myself before I made my way to Daddy’s room.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed this evening, with his feet hanging off. There were crutches on the far side of the room, along with his wheelchair.
“Lisa, honey!” He looked pleased to see me. We had parted ways harshly the previous day after he admitted to his acts of fraud. “I’m so glad you came,” he said.
I stepped into the room and shut the door behind me. This was going to be a difficult thing to do, but it needed doing.
“I’m not staying for long, Daddy. I have somewhere else to be,” I told him.
He sighed and nodded his head.
“Of course. Rose told me you haven’t been going to the office. I’m sorry that you’re disappointed in me, but I need you right now, Lisa. I need you to handle things,” he continued.
I had my hands tightly clasped in front of me.
“I have something to tell you, Daddy,” I began, in a strong voice.
He stared at me with bleary eyes.
“Lisa…”
“Please just hear me out first,” I interrupted him.
When he didn’t say anything, I sucked in my gut and began again.
“Julian Hunt and I… I had a relationship with him.”
His brows crossed and he looked confused.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me, honey,” he said.
“It’s really quite simple, Daddy. I slept with Julian. We were at the start of a relationship when you woke up,” I explained. I was trying to be patient with him, and frank. We were past the stage of politeness.
His mouth fell open in shock and I gave him the opportunity to speak.
“I sensed that he wanted you, but I didn’t realize that you… you both had…”
I gulped but continued to stare at him. I just needed to rip this off like a band-aid.
“If you’re looking for an apology from me, Daddy, you’re not going to get one. It is what it is,” I said.
He couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t even nod his head.
“But of course, I had no idea about your history. He hadn’t told me.”
“So he fooled you and seduced you and you fell for it!” Now he was thundering.
I tried to remain calm. I had the freedom to walk away from this room, but he didn’t. I wasn’t afraid of my father anymore, and I didn’t care what he thought of me.
“I did what I wanted to do, and you should know that I don’t regret anything,” I replied.
Daddy was gritting his teeth in anger, his eyes were wide and red with rage.
“Don’t burst a vein, Daddy. We’ve ended it. As soon as you woke up and told me about his ulterior motive, I ended it with him. I just wanted you to know that it happened,” I said, as coldly as I could. I needed him to realize that I hadn’t ended it with Julian because of him.
His breathing relaxed a little when he heard that.
“Fine. We can discuss it later. As long as it’s over,” he snapped.
“Our relationship is over, yes, but I’m pregnant. It’s his.”
It took every ounce of energy I had to get those words out. I watched as my father turned his face to me, bursting with rage and fury.
“You’re pregnant!” He growled.
I didn’t have to clarify it for him. He knew exactly what I was saying.
“I found out yesterday. He doesn’t know, and I don’t want him to know either. I’m going to raise this baby by myself,” I replied.
He tried to stand up, but fell back on the bed again. I didn’t make a move towards him.
“Lisa! This is ridiculous. You come in here and tell me you’re carrying Julian Hunt’s child!”
“Yes, because I wanted you to know the truth. I’m not a liar and a cheat, like you are, Daddy,” I told him.
He clamped his mouth shut because he had nothing to say, but his whole body was quivering and shaking.
“You can’t have this child!” He barked, after several seconds of silence had passed between us.
“I am going to, Daddy. I’m sorry if that disappoints you, but I don’t care what you think anymore.”
He threw himself on the pillows, rubbing a hand over his face repeatedly. I could see he was distressed to the point of bursting, but this had to be done.
“And I’m leaving New York,” I added.
He whipped his face around to me again.
“Why are you doing this to me, Lisa? Where on Earth are you going to go?”
“I’m going to Dublin. Tonight. I’m going to have the baby there, and raise it there. I don’t have anything in New York anymore to hold me back,” I said.
“You’re just going to leave me in this hospital?” He raged and I stood my ground.
“I was here for weeks looking after you, Daddy. You’re fine. You’re getting better every day. I have spent more time with you here, than you spent with me when I was growing up. So, I believe I’ve done the best I could for you,” I replied.
“Lisa, you’re going to regret this!” He snapped.
“Yeah, I might, but I probably won’t. I know that I regret living in your shadow, because you don’t deserve my respect,” I replied, as calmly as I could.
&nb
sp; “I had no idea you hated me this much,” he said, and it looked like he was beginning to give up.
“I don’t hate you, Daddy. For the first time in my life, I have reason to be disappointed in you. I’ve always been hard on myself. I’ve done very little for myself because I’ve tried so hard to please you. Now I know that I don’t have to live my life according to your wishes. I should be able to make my own decisions.”
He lay back down on the bed and pressed his eyes close.
“I’m guessing there is nothing I can say that will change your mind,” he finally said.
“No, there isn’t, Daddy. I’m leaving for Dublin tonight and I’m not sure when I’ll be back,” I replied.
He opened his eyes and looked straight at me.
“You don’t want me to be a part of my grandchild’s life?”
I shrugged.
“I’m not going to keep you out. You can visit us if you want, you’re free to call and write too. I just can’t stay here,” I said.
“I don’t want you to be alone, Lisa. You’re my daughter. As much as you don’t believe it, the truth is that I love you,” he declared.
I tried my best to keep the tears away. This was not the time to show any signs of weakness to him.
“I’ve always been alone, Daddy,” I replied.
He nodded his head and sighed.
“I’m sorry for everything, Lisa. I know it’s too late now, but I would change everything if I could. I know I’ve made some major mistakes in my life,” he pondered and I said nothing to that. It wasn’t my place to give him a lecture about his life. He would have to make his peace with himself on his own.
“I have to go, Daddy. Take care of yourself. I’m sure Rose and the others will manage the business while you’re away,” I told him. He nodded his head in a daze.
“I will miss you, Lisa. I hope you take care of yourself,” he said.
I nodded and turned from him to walk to the door.
“Lisa!” He called, making me stop in my tracks. “Do you love him? Julian. Do you love him?” He asked.
I stared at him for a few moments and sighed.