“That’s it?”
“It’s more complicated than that,” Kristina said. “It’s just difficult to explain. The rest of my life is going to be filled with straight-laced guys with good boy haircuts and stable jobs that are boring as hell. I just want to know what it feels like to be with someone unpredictable and dangerous and surprising.”
“That’s very… primitive of you,” Marie said.
“I guess so,” Kristina said. “But he brings out the animal in me.”
“Whoa,” Marie said, as she raised her eyebrows. “Are we talking sex now?”
Kristina laughed. “I guess so.”
“Good,” Marie said. “Because I would like details.”
“Are you serious?”
“Hell yeah,” Marie said. “Let me live vicariously through you.”
“Do you even want to live vicariously through me?” Kristina demanded.
“Well, not in this particular case,” Marie conceded, “but I would like one torrid night of meaningless sex with someone who looked like Keith.”
“Really?” Kristina said, surprised by that.
“Oh, don’t look so surprised,” Marie said, sounding annoyed. “I have the need for a little adventure from time to time, too… I just don’t act on it quite as much as you do. If it weren’t for Keith’s criminal ties, I would have actually encouraged you to explore the relationship instead of warning you against it.”
Kristina smiled. “Good to know.”
“Well?” Marie demanded impatiently.
“Well what?”
“Since I’ve decided to step back and stop bugging you about how much time you’re spending with a criminal, I’m going to insist that you at the very least tell me how good he is in bed.”
Kristina laughed, but she realized suddenly that she missed sharing stuff with Marie about her personal life. She had been so tight lipped about it in the last few weeks that it was a relief to speak freely about the more intimate details of her relationship with Keith.
“Well, first of all… he’s amazing!” Kristina said, sighing in the process. “I mean… he doesn’t even have to try. I’m wet before he even touches me.”
Marie raised her eyebrows.
“That is not even an exaggeration,” Kristina said.
“Is he gentle, rough?” Marie pressed.
“He can be both,” Kristina answered. “Sometimes it’s both at the same time. But I love it when he handles me…. I know it seems like an oxymoron, but I actually feel this… weird sense of freedom.”
“Huh?” Marie said as though she didn’t understand.
Kristina laughed. “It’s hard to explain.”
“You used to be better at describing your sexual exploits,” Marie pointed out.
Kristina glanced around and then leaned in towards Marie so that she was the only one who could hear. “Ok, well, the other night we were at his place… and we were just eating dinner you know? We’d had sex that morning and there was no sign it was going to happen again.”
“And then he jumped you?”
“I was at the sink washing the dishes and he came up behind me,” Kristina said.
“And then what?”
“He put one hand up my shirt and the other hand down my pants,” Kristina said. “I almost broke a dish. I barely knew what was happening, and before I knew it, he had bent me over and he was fucking me over the sink.”
“Sounds uncomfortable,” Marie said.
“It would have been if it continued that way,” Kristina said. “But then he spread me out on top of the table—”
“The table you were just eating on?” Marie interrupted.
“Yeah,” Kristina nodded unashamedly. “And he pushed into me. Seriously Marie, you should see his cock, it is a thing of beauty.”
“Apparently,” Marie said with wide-eyed amusement. “Did you come?”
“Twice,” Kristina confirmed. “Twice that time and once in the morning.”
“You came three times in one day?”
“And that’s a slow day with Keith.”
“Whoa,” Marie said again.
“Yeah.”
“He’s that good, huh?” Marie said sounding sufficiently impressed.
“He is,” Kristina said with a sigh.
“You sound sad,” Marie pointed out. “For someone who’s getting it on a regular and getting it good by the sound of it… you should be skipping to your classes.”
Kristina smiled. “I just know it’s not going to last,” she explained. “That’s all.”
Marie looked at her carefully. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“And you’ll answer honestly?”
Kristina wasn’t sure where Marie was going with this, but she braced herself and nodded. “I’ll do my best.”
“If you had a choice… would you choose to be with Keith,” Marie asked. “Not someone like Keith… I mean Keith, just as he is now with all the baggage and all the… everything.”
Kristina felt her stomach turn at the question, mostly because she had been avoiding asking herself the very same one. “It’s complicated,” she said, trying deftly to avoid answering it until she had a better idea of her own mind.
“Try figuring it out,” Marie insisted.
“Now?”
“Now,” Marie nodded. “We have time. Professor Stuart is always late.”
“I… think that Keith and I are very different…” Kristina started shakily.
“That wasn’t my question,” Marie said, cutting her off.
Kristina rolled her eyes. “Fine then… I guess if I were being honest I wouldn’t mind… pursuing a relationship with Keith and seeing where it would lead.”
“Seriously?” Marie asked, but her tone suggested that she wasn’t judging, she was simply surprised.
“Yes,” Kristina nodded.
“Do you actually see a future with him?”
“I mean… if you like someone hard enough… don’t you always tend to believe in the best possible outcome?”
“Meaning that you can see yourself with Keith… in the long term?”
“I haven’t gone that far…”
“Meaning marriage and kids?”
“Whoa,” Kristina said, holding up her hands. “Slow it down; I’m not going there. I just know that if I had the choice… I would like to see how things would go. That was the question you asked, and I’m answering it… honestly.”
Marie nodded. “Do you even think someone like Keith would want to get married? Would he want to have kids?”
“I don’t know, Marie,” Kristina said. “That’s not really what we’re talking about here.”
“Kristina,” Marie said slowly. “You realize that we’re talking about a future for you and Keith right? What do you think that means?”
“Anything I want it to mean,” Kristina said. “People think there’s only one way of doing things, but I disagree. Your future can be anything you want… getting married and having kids or closing shop and travelling the world or… I don’t know… living in a caravan and eating off the land your whole life. There isn’t a wrong way of living.”
“Listen,” Marie said steadily. “I get you need to have this experience. I get that Keith is this hot as fuck biker with a dangerous past and an exciting life… but you have to remember that it’s not your life. Once you’ve cleared this phase you’re in, you’re going to see that more clearly than you do now. And when that happens I just hope you haven’t made a stupid mistake thinking that this feeling is going to last forever.”
Kristina nodded. “I know you’re right,” she nodded. “I do… it’s just…”
Kristina felt her mind whirling with new realizations, and she wished she were alone so that she could absorb them properly. She had convinced herself that she and Keith were temporary and that much was true, but the realization was that she wished that wasn’t the case. She wished that they would have an actual, real relationship, or at l
east an attempt at one. Kristina felt her heart sink as she realized that it wasn’t just their differences that stood between them, it was Natalie’s invisible presence.
Keith’s love for her was potent, and Kristina knew that she couldn’t compete with the memory of his lost love. He had to want to move on for her to have any chance at all. Still, Kristina reminded herself that Keith was with her. He had been for the last week, and he had made sure that she was safe. She was fairly certain he would never have tried that hard for someone for whom he had absolutely no feelings. She felt a nugget of hope rise inside her, and as hard as she tried to beat it down, the feeling just kept rising to the surface, resilient and strong.
“Kristina?” Marie’s voice cut through her thoughts.
“Sorry,” Kristina said quickly. “I’m listening.”
“Look, all I’m trying to tell you is this: have your experience, but don’t forget you have a different path laid out for you, just don’t forget who you are.”
Kristina nodded, but she didn’t say anything. She knew that she couldn’t begin to explain to Marie that she had missed the point entirely. How could she forget whom she was, when she had no idea who that was in the first place?
Chapter Twenty Two
Keith
The auto shop was quiet when he first walked in. He made a beeline towards the back room where meetings were usually held only to find the whole gang congregated there. He pushed his way in and walked towards the front of the room where Miles sat.
“You called a meeting and forgot to tell me?”
“There’s no meeting,” Miles replied. “We were just discussing a few things… I figured you would be with Kristina anyhow.”
“I was,” Keith replied.
“How is she?” Tucker asked.
“She’s… fine,” Keith replied. “Stressed obviously… she’s not used to being in this kind of situation.”
“Did she tell you that I spoke to her a little while ago?” Miles asked.
Keith turned to look at him. “No, she didn’t mention that. You would have called after I had left her,” he said. “What did you call to tell her?”
“I told her that it was best she stopped working for Seton and Lee,” Miles explained. “I told her that in the interest of her safety, it would be best if she wasn’t seen here at all.”
Keith let that absorb, and then he nodded. “What did she say?”
“She said that if I wanted to fire her I had every right to,” Miles replied. “But she also added that it didn’t matter because if she stopped by Seton and Lee she would be with you.”
“Oh,” Keith said at a loss for words. He was so caught up in his own situation that it took a moment for him to realize that he was getting side-glances from the rest of the crew. “What?” Keith asked defensively when it came to his attention.
They looked away immediately, but Keith knew that there was something they were not saying out loud. He wondered for a moment if they had been discussing that just before he had walked in and disrupted the conversation. “You know I don’t like games,” Keith said through gritted teeth. “So one of you bastards better tell me what’s going on right now.”
“Whoa… cool it man,” Tucker said immediately. “We’re just looking out for you.”
“What does that mean?” Keith asked pointedly. “Tell it to me straight.”
Tucker glanced around, readying himself with the explanation, but it was Miles who ended up speaking. “Listen, Keith,” he started as he rose and placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “I know I don’t have to remind you but… we don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.”
“And you think I do?” Keith demanded furiously.
“Hey,” Miles said calmly. “We’re on your side here. No one is saying you don’t give a shit, but we are suggesting that you might be a little blind to the situation.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Kristina doesn’t know how this shit goes down,” Miles said in the same slow tone. “She’s not used to men like us.”
“I know all this, Miles,” Keith said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his emotions in check before he exploded in front of all of them.
“All our families know our situation,” Miles went on. “They know what they got themselves into when they chose to be with us… I don’t think Kristina does however.”
“Would you believe me if I said she did?” Keith demanded.
Miles smiled. “All I’m saying is… try and keep Kristina as far away from here as possible.”
“You know what happened with your previous old lady right?” Mattie said gruffly.
Keith wanted to scream, but he knew Mattie, and he knew that his words weren’t meant to wound or insult. He took a deep breath and tried to contain his anger. “Ok,” he said slowly. “I get it… I know what you guys are trying to tell me… but the fact is this is not the same. It’s not the same as the last time.”
“What makes this different?” Miles asked.
“Kristina is not Natalie,” Keith insisted, wondering why he sounded as though he were trying to convince himself. “And she and I are not in a relationship.” Keith didn’t miss the incredulous glances that passed between the crew. “You don’t believe me?” he demanded.
“Can you expect us to?” Miles asked calmly. “You’re not just sleeping with her Keith, you’re spending time with the girl. Why would you do that if she was just some girl you fucked one time? Listen… call her what you want, if you don’t want to refer to her as your old lady or your girlfriend or your… fuck-buddy… that’s fine. But don’t forget that it doesn’t matter what you call her… Kovic will come for her all the same.”
“He’s doing all this just to piss me off,” Keith said with loathing coloring his tone.
“This war has always been a personal one,” Miles agreed. “And it’s about time we settle it… once and for all.”
A murmur went through the crew, and Keith knew they would support him a hundred percent in this upcoming fight. He felt his rage ebb slightly as the bonds of brotherhood took hold and he remembered why he joined the Iron Dragons in the first place. It wasn’t just because he loved Miles or his father; it was because he felt like he belonged somewhere for the first time in his life. That was what gave him the courage to confront his father; it was the knowledge that he had support if he needed it. He had help if he asked for it, and he had the backing even if he didn’t.
“I know,” Keith nodded. “You’re right. It’s time we settle this and stop Kovic… once and for all.”
Soon after, the group dispersed and Keith moved towards the auto shop where his bike had just finished a service. He was checking it through when Tucker moved past him.
“You off then?” Keith asked as Tucker passed him.
“Yeah,” Tucker nodded. “Gonna go pick up Melanie.”
“It’s going well, huh?” Keith asked.
“Really well,” Tucker said with a wink. “She might be the one.”
“You said that about the last girl,” Keith reminded him. “And the one before that.”
Tucker waved off that statement as though it meant nothing. “I was blind before Melanie… but now I can see clearly.”
“You’re not going to burst into song are you?” Keith teased.
Tucker smiled. “I’ll resist the urge.”
“Does she know?” Keith asked, knowing Tucker would understand his meaning.
“She knows,” Tucker nodded. “Not the details… but the dangers she’s aware of.”
“And she’s prepared to deal with that?” Keith asked, feeling his curiosity being fueled by his own agendas.
“She’s a strong woman, man,” Tucker said with pride. “And she wants to be with me. It’s going to be an adjustment, but no one ever said relationships were easy.”
He waved goodbye and took off on his own bike, leaving Keith to ponder the thought. Relationships weren’t easy; he knew that first hand; and yet, he still could
n’t help picturing what a real, full-blown relationship would be like with Kristina. In this case, he had nothing to compare it to because he didn’t know what that would feel like. Natalie was a different kind of woman, and she had come from a world that was similar to Keith’s.
Kristina, however, was a completely different story. She had come from a world with rich, educated parents, good schools, and little else but the simple dramas of high school as entertainment growing up. Keith did not think that diminished her in any way, instead he felt that it made her more pure, more unpredictable, more desired.
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