Trust the Moon

by Jamie Craig

  “I knew when you said I reminded you of a cat that you’d be the first person to see my totem,” she said quietly. Her fingers alternately smoothed and scratched at his fur. “I knew then you’d be different.”

  The lump returned to his throat as soon as he shifted to his human form. Maybe it was just something he had to learn to live with. “It’s just because I know you.” He folded his arm around her, and the sand against his bare skin didn’t bother him as much as it should have. “Can I ask a few more questions about what happened?”

  He could see it in her eyes that she wanted to deny him, but the words that came out of her mouth were, “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

  “Did you escape, or did they let you go?”

  “They let me go. Once they were convinced I was healthy.”

  “And you decided to leave before they could do something like that again?”

  “Partially. And because they wanted to put me into a foster home. I didn’t want that. But I didn’t get a say in that matter, either.”

  “But what if…what if they hadn’t done anything to try to help? You were a kid, Gena. They couldn’t just…do nothing.” He probably sounded like a fool to her, but it was difficult to grapple with her hurt and Cory’s explanation. He knew everybody in Delta who reached out to her had done more harm than good—but he knew that none of them would have wished her any harm at all.

  “I know,” she whispered. “Now, at least. I didn’t then. I thought I could take care of myself. I’d been taking care of me and my dad my whole life it felt like.”

  “I’d guess he did a fair amount of taking care of you,” Dylan said, matching her tone.

  Her eyes grew shiny with unshed tears. “He would have liked you.”

  Oh God, don’t cry. “I wish I could have known him. I wish I could have known you then. But at the time, I was a bit more concerned with X-Men comics.”

  Her soft laugh helped to dispel some of her sadness. “You mean you were out of the cradle, then?”

  “Out of the cradle and so obsessed with comic books that my parents thought I was going to flunk the third grade.”

  “Great. I fell for a geek.” She smiled. “You should have warned me.”

  “I guess you haven’t been paying attention to the signs. Wait. You fell for me?”

  Her smile softened, and a twinkle appeared in her eye. “You think I share my totem with just anybody?”

  “No. No, I don’t.” Dylan wished they could be closer, but even if he pulled her onto his chest, it wouldn’t be enough. “I guess it’s pretty obvious that I’ve fallen for you.”

  She pressed her hand over his bare chest, branding the spot over his heart. “I think you’re actually the best friend I’ve ever had. Nobody has cared whether I come or go for a long time.”

  “I care. I care a lot.” Dylan took a deep breath. “Do you think…look, you know that I want you to stay in Delta with me, right?”

  “I know…” Her voice trailed off, and her fine brows drew together. “What do you mean, with you?”

  “What do you mean, what do I mean? Of course, I want you to be with me.” He had never had a problem telling her what he wanted, what he was thinking. But now, each word cost him. If she answered him by telling him she had to leave, he didn’t know what he would do.

  “There’s no ‘of course’. I mean, I know you care about me. But I know you think I need to live in town too. And you’ve only known me for six weeks. Why would I assume you’d want me to live with you?”

  “I guess you wouldn’t.” What did six weeks matter? Six weeks seemed like more than enough time to him, but then again, he was facing twelve years of expectations. “Though what I want isn’t necessarily what matters here.”

  Her hand drifted up, touching his jaw, his lips. Dylan couldn’t move for fear of shattering whatever effect his request might have had on her. He simply let her continue her gentle exploration, watching her the whole time.

  “I want you,” she said. “I know that much. But I don’t know that I can live in Delta again.”

  Partially out of fear, and partially out of love, he tightened his hold around her. Could he do this for the rest of his life? Love a woman who was always just out of his reach? He did want children and a family. He did have goals, and he had always expected to have a partner at his side. And Gena hadn’t said I can’t live in Delta now or I’m not ready yet. She couldn’t live in Delta again. Period. Full stop.

  “I know.”

  “Do you know what it means to me to know you’d even want me there?” Her breath warmed his lips, then her mouth did the same. Her lower lip was trembling. “God, Dylan, I never thought…” She kissed him again, a little bit harder.

  Dylan returned the kisses, though he didn’t press to deepen the caresses. Anybody would want her around, if she would give people the chance. When she was ready, he was certain that Delta would welcome her back. Except, he doubted there would ever be a when, and it probably wouldn’t do any good to think about if, either. So he kissed her and held her until they both lost track of time and dawn’s first chilly rays crept across the desert.

  Chapter Nine

  Gena soared over the roofs of Delta, her wings spread wide as she glided towards Dylan’s street. He wasn’t expecting her. She had left his house before dawn that morning with the understanding they’d get together on Saturday night. But she had spent the entire day bored out of her mind in her den, trying to stay busy and never really succeeding. When the sun started to dip towards the horizon, she said to hell with it and shifted. Just because they would be seeing each other in two days didn’t mean they couldn’t see each other tonight too. And if he put up too much of a fuss, she’d distract him with a blow job.

  The window he usually left open for her was shut. Gena drifted to the neighboring tree, perching on the closest branch, and peered through the glass. The bedroom was empty. That didn’t necessarily mean anything. She knew from his routine that he could be downstairs watching a DVD, or curled up in the hammock with his laptop, or even in the bathroom. She flew over the roof, but the backyard was deserted too.

  He had to be inside then.

  Landing as close to the door as she could get, she shifted back into her human form and let herself in. “Dylan?” Her voice echoed back from the empty room. She had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t the only room that was empty.

  To be sure, she did a quick walk-through. His laptop sat open on the coffee table, and upstairs, his wallet was gone from where he always set it on his nightstand. She plopped down on the edge of the bed and scowled. He had today off. He had specifically boasted about how he was going to get to sleep all day, since she kept him up all night.

  So where was he?

  Unconsciously, her fingers smoothed over a wrinkle in the bedspread as she debated what to do. Option one—go home. And back to being bored. And missing Dylan. So not really an option. Option two was a little more tempting. She could stick around the house and wait for him to return. But that could be hours yet, and she might not be bored, but most of the reason she’d bothered to come into town at all was to see him. Which left only option three as a viable alternative.

  Get dressed, find him, and haul him back to the house to fuck his brains out.

  She pulled a pair of jeans and a tank top out of the drawer he’d given her. Her shoes came out of the downstairs closet. In the bathroom, she took one look at the mirror and decided the wind-tossed effect on her hair didn’t need to be spoiled with the brush he’d bought for her after that first night. She could probably use a little makeup, but Dylan didn’t seem to care what she looked like, as long as she was there.

  The most logical place to start was the center of Delta, where all the restaurants and bars were clustered. It made sense for him to be out picking up dinner, since he wasn’t a fan of cooking. She didn’t exactly relish the thought of venturing right into the heart of town without Dylan at her side. He provided a buffer against all the oth
er shifters. He also provided an excuse to be there. She never had to feel like she was out of place or unwelcome because his very presence was enough to validate hers.

  But she was hungry too. And maybe if she caught him in time, he could pick up enough food for both of them. Then they could take turns feeding each other. The thought was enough to make her smile and quicken her step, even though doubts still persisted in the back of her mind, clinging to her like burrs.

  Gena paused to glance through the window or the open door of each restaurant she passed. Some were more full than others, but she knew she would spot him, even in the thickest crowds. She had spent enough time studying the planes of his face, the width of his shoulders, the way his clothes shaped themselves over his chest and thighs. She could spot him as easily as a big cat could spot prey. Unfortunately, despite her skills, she wasn’t successful. Every place was packed with people, but not one of them was Dylan.

  She paused at the edge of the city park to contemplate her options. If he wasn’t working, or picking up dinner, he was likely to be socializing in some fashion. With friends, like Anderson and Kate from the party. Or his parents, since they were back in town. Or someone else in his life she didn’t know about. She squelched the tight pang that came to her chest at the thought of the life he led without her. It was hard enough dealing with her loneliness without torturing herself with images of Dylan laughing and smiling in a world she was no longer a part of.

  Gena cut across the grass at a quick jog, then turned up Main Street. She had played it down with Dylan, but she remembered a lot about Mr. Peterson. He’d been one of the few who hadn’t made her feel like a freak for hiding so long after the murder. He’d been kind and generous, two qualities Dylan had clearly inherited, but he’d also been in a tiny minority. He wasn’t nearly enough reason for her to stick around Delta.

  But she still knew exactly how to get to his house.

  She slowed when she reached the Petersons’ street. How was she going to know if Dylan was there? He’d probably walked, so there wouldn’t be a car to recognize in the driveway. Peeping through the windows was possible, but if they saw her, she’d look like the outsider she was. Alternatively, she could shift and try to listen for his voice inside or sniff out his scent, but that meant changing in and out of her clothes.

  At the edge of the manicured lawn, she stopped. Or she could do the civilized thing, and go up to the front door and knock.

  Her palms went damp at the thought.

  As she’d imagined, only one car sat in the drive. This was definitely one of those times she wished she had a cell phone. She could call Dylan like any normal person and just ask where he was, cutting out all this foolish running around.

  Gena shook off her indecision and started marching towards the front door. There was nothing to be nervous about. This was Mr. Peterson’s house. Out of everyone in Delta, he was the last person she needed to fear.

  Correction. Second to last.

  She held her breath as she knocked, promptly shoving her hands into her pockets and stepping back when she was done. It felt like an eternity before the door opened, and she met Mr. Peterson’s surprised gaze.

  “Hi.” God, she felt like she was fourteen again, accidentally bumping into him outside of school. She tried a smile. “I was looking for Dylan.”

  His smile was warm. “You’ve come to the right place. His mother is holding him hostage in the kitchen.” Mr. Peterson opened the door wider and stepped back. “Come on in.”

  Her boots felt like they were filled with lead, but she managed to make it over the threshold without falling on her face. “If you want to let him know I’m here, I can just wait. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

  “You didn’t interrupt anything. They’re just making dinner.” He moved down the hallway, but when Gena didn’t follow him, he stopped. “You’re welcome to join us, you know. We always have plenty of food.”

  The invitation didn’t actually surprise her. Mr. Peterson had always been like that. It was the other part of what he said that made her lips twitch into an almost smile. “Dylan’s cooking? I thought half the point of coming over was so he wouldn’t have to cook.”

  “Nope. He comes over so Irene can show him how to cook various dishes. I’d never tell her, but I like his lasagna the best.”

  Her mouth watered at the memory of the night he’d bathed her, of how they’d curled up in the wee hours of the morning and eaten the lasagna straight out of the pan. She fought to keep her voice as neutral as possible. “Is that what he’s fixing tonight?”

  “No, I think he’s learning how to roast a chicken tonight. So he’s never offered to cook for you?”

  “Oh, he’s cooked. Basic stuff. He’s just warned me more than once that I’m taking my chances eating his food.”

  “Sometimes I think Dylan is a bit too modest. I’ll go get him.”

  Mr. Peterson left her at the mouth of the hallway as he disappeared behind the closed kitchen door. Seconds later, the same door flew open and Dylan was in front of her before she could even blink.

  “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

  He looked good. Smelled even better. She itched to tug him forward and crush her mouth to his, tangle every limb they had together in such sweet relief that she’d finally found him. She settled for smiling and smoothing her fingers over his chest.

  “I wanted to see you. That’s not a crime, is it?”

  “Nope, not that I know of.” He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, and began moving back to the kitchen. “Come on. Dinner’s almost done.”

  Gena pulled away, breaking the contact between them. “You still want to stick around here?”

  Dylan frowned. “Well, yeah. I just spent the last hour making dinner. Aren’t you hungry?”

  “Yeah, but I figured, now that I was here, we could go back to your place. Be alone.”

  “I want to be alone with you. But we can be alone later tonight, after dinner. I’ll even make excuses so Mom doesn’t corner you with her vacation photos.”

  “You know, maybe this was a bad idea.” She retreated one step, then two. “You’re spending time with your family. You don’t need me hanging around, getting in the way.”

  “Gena, why do you think you have to leave? Because the thought of eating roast chicken disgusts you, or because I didn’t come running when you crooked your finger?”

  Neither possibility had entered her mind, but hearing his blunt words sent her temper flaring. “Funny, but it felt like I was the one who came running this time.”

  “No, you showed up uninvited, sought me out, and expected me to abandon my dinner, and my family, on your whim. But that’s not how it works here. I love the fact that you came to see me. And I’d love to spend time with you. I’d like to have dinner with you right now, in fact.”

  She knew he said more. She saw his mouth moving. But her ears stopped working properly at uninvited.

  “I’m sorry,” she managed to say. “I didn’t…next time, I’ll wait for the invitation.” Blindly, she whirled on her heel and bolted for the door.

  She made it as far as the front porch before Dylan grabbed her arm. “You know that’s not what I meant.” She yanked her arm away from him, but he caught hold of her again. “What are you doing?”

  Her stomach burned. “Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?” she demanded. “I didn’t want to stay because I didn’t know if I could deal with it. With seeing them, and you, and…has it not occurred to you that every time we’ve gone somewhere where it was more than just you and me, I’ve had time to work up to it?”

  “I know how hard this is for you. But I need you to try, Gena. I need…I at least need you to try. Otherwise, I can’t…” Dylan paused and swallowed. “And we’re not with strangers. Both my parents remember you, and Dad has been worried about you since you left Delta.”

  “I don’t want to be anybody’s pity project.”

  Dylan blinked, his hand fal
ling away from her arm. “I don’t understand. Is this how you want things to be? The two of us always isolated from everybody, even my family?”

  She wanted to say yes, God yes, but she knew Dylan well enough now to know he’d never be happy about that. He needed what Delta had to offer—the family, the stability, the tradition. He might be happy with their solitary runs, or an occasional night with her in the cave, but more would turn him into someone else.

  Gena didn’t want someone else. She wanted this man. Exactly the way he was.

  “I just want you,” she admitted. “I wanted you so much tonight, I wandered around Delta for an hour all on my own, looking for you.”

  Dylan’s face softened, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I just want you too. I’m sorry that I upset you. I didn’t mean anything by what I said.”

  She melted against him, grateful for the strength in his embrace. Slight stubble shaded his jaw, and she rubbed her cheek against it, unable to resist the prickles it always elicited. “You were right about some of it, though. I shouldn’t have expected you to just walk away.”

  Dylan brushed his mouth over her temple. “You can wait out here. I’ll go tell them that we’re going back to my place.”

  “No.” The denial surprised even her, but once it was out there, she had no desire to take it back. “You need me to try…I can do that. Especially if your roast chicken turns out half as good as your lasagna.”

  “I think that it might be. There are even some roasted potatoes and vegetables involved.” Dylan brushed the hair from her face and kissed her again. “Thank you. I promise, we won’t stay too long.”

  She let him entwine their fingers and lead her back into the house. This time, she noticed the small details—the pictures of Dylan through the years hanging on the walls, the chew marks along the wooden newels at the stairs. The possibility that Dylan could have used the banister as a teething ring as a kid had her smiling by the time they stepped into the warm kitchen. She almost forgot to be nervous when his parents greeted her again, as if she hadn’t walked out of their home just moments earlier.