Sarah slowly removed the wedding band. The ring slipped off her finger as easily as it had gone on. She placed the gold band with the note and the white envelope. And her heart wept.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HOME.
Anticipation pulsed through Cullen’s veins. He dumped his backpack in the garage. He would unpack his gear later. All he wanted was to see Sarah.
He entered the house. “Sarah.”
She didn’t answer.
He searched for her, trying to ignore a sense of foreboding.
She wasn’t there.
Shoulders hunched, Cullen walked back to the living room. He understood Sarah’s need to return to Bellingham, to her job at the institute. Reporters had been abuzz with news of more steam blasts and earthquakes from Baker. Granted he’d been stuck in a snow cave overnight, but to take off without so much as a goodbye...
A white envelope on the breakfast bar caught his attention.
A two-ton weight pressed down on him. He trudged to the kitchen, feeling as if he were wading through quicksand. He saw a note and a gold wedding band sitting on top of the envelope. With unsteady hands he unfolded the piece of paper and read.
Dear Cullen,
I appreciate all you’ve done for me these past weeks. Hood Hamlet has been the perfect place to recover. Thank you for opening your home to me and introducing me to your friends.
I know you wanted to drive me home to Bellingham, but after being stuck overnight in a snow cave the last thing you need is to be stuck in a car making the long drive there and back.
The dissolution of marriage petition was served yesterday. I do still want a divorce. I agree with everything in the paperwork and will not be filing a response. Very soon there will be nothing stopping you from getting your life back on track.
I wish you the best. Heaven knows you deserve better than someone like me. I’m sure you’ll find her and she’ll be exactly what you want in a wife!
Sarah
No! Cullen crinkled the page into a tight ball. He wanted to scream, shout, hit something. He threw the note. It bounced off the wall and fell to the floor.
Familiar anger and resentment exploded. Hands shaking, Cullen picked up her wedding ring. He ran his fingers around the smooth gold band. Sarah hadn’t seemed like the sentimental type, yet she’d kept hers. As he’d kept his. He set the ring on the bar.
The silence and emptiness of the cabin matched the way he felt inside.
Was this how Sarah had felt when she’d arrived home from doing research on Mount Baker and discovered he’d moved out while she was away? Cullen didn’t want to know the answer. She didn’t deserve any sympathy.
Damn her. Couldn’t Sarah see they had something special? Why would she walk away like this?
He stiffened.
Walk away like he had when she’d brought up a divorce.
Cullen retrieved the wadded-up note, smoothed the wrinkles from the page, then reread it. Again and again. Her words sank in. Something clicked.
Sarah wasn’t leaving him for something better. She wanted him to find something—someone—better than her. This wasn’t about him or them, but her. For some reason she didn’t think she was good enough.
Just like the last time. But he’d been too hurt, too full of pride to realize it.
Snippets of conversations rushed to the surface.
I’ve never felt so inadequate in my life.
I wasn’t anything special. I would have held him back. I don’t blame him for not wanting to marry me.
They didn’t care about me. They never wanted me around. After the divorce, they shuttled me back and forth.
All the pieces had been there, but Cullen hadn’t put them together. Until now.
He needed to go after her and show her how special she was, how much he needed her. Something her mom and dad had never done, or her idiotic fiancé or...
Him.
His chest tightened, squeezing the air out of his lungs. He’d let Sarah down a year ago. No, he’d let her down from the time they’d returned to Seattle from Las Vegas and he’d tried to remain in control after she had rocked his neat and tidy little world. He’d kept parts of his life separate from her. He’d been afraid of losing control, of following in Blaine’s footsteps and losing himself to something that would be bad for him, so Cullen had held on tight to what he could and kept her out. What had the family counselor called it? Compartmentalizing. He’d taken it a step further. He’d built walls, remained silent and run away.
When Sarah had mentioned divorce, he’d jumped at the chance to make a clean break, then retreated like a turtle into its shell to lick his wounds. What he’d failed to see was how good Sarah was for him. Damn good.
He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. He would go to Bellingham and convince her they belonged together. Do whatever it took. Fight for her if he had to.
At this point he had nothing to lose except...everything.
* * *
Sitting at her desk at MBVI, Sarah studied the seismographic signals. Around her, the atmosphere crackled with energy, phones rang at an almost frenetic rate and people carried equipment out of the building in order to set up additional monitoring stations a safe distance away from the volcano.
Seismic activity from inside Mount Baker’s crater had quadrupled in frequency since yesterday’s steam blast. Whatever was going on could fizzle out, but until that happened she had work to do. Anticipation over the possibilities ahead buzzed through her, but something kept her feet firmly planted on the ground.
Not something. Someone. Cullen.
She leaned back in her chair, not wanting thoughts of him to swamp her.
The new and exciting seismic signals should be her only concern, but Sarah kept thinking about Hood Hamlet. She missed the town, the people, Cullen. She’d left with so many unknowns.
Had he and the rest of the rescue team made it off the mountain safely? Had he arrived home, read her note? Did he hate her?
Sarah rubbed her tired eyes, then refocused on the data.
Tucker placed a steaming cup of coffee and a chocolate bar on the left side of her desk. “You’ve been working hard.”
The candy reminded her of the chocolate-tasting with Cullen, of his hot kiss. He would never be kissing her again. A knife twisted inside her.
Maybe caffeine would help her concentrate. She took a sip of coffee. “That’s why you hired me.”
“I hired you because you’re qualified and smart.” Tucker sat on the right edge of her desk. Her boss was in his late thirties, wore jeans and a T-shirt. He looked more like a rugged cowboy than a nerdy, calculator-toting scientist. “You’re also still recovering. Don’t overdo it.”
“There’s lots of data to review.”
“And more coming,” he admitted. “But you don’t have to get through it all right now. Think of it as job security.”
She looked up at him. “My funding runs out soon.”
“I always have an ace or two up my sleeve. And I have a feeling I’m going to need you around.” Tucker had built MBVI from the ground up with lots of sweat and begging and a generous donation from a mysterious anonymous benefactor. He glanced in the direction of Mount Baker. “I’m just relieved you’re back. I half expected to receive a call from the Cascades Volcano Observatory asking for a reference so they could hire you.”
She flinched. “Why would you think that?”
“Cullen. He was very worried about you at the hospital.”
Memories stirred beneath her breastbone. Of him, of her, of them. No, she couldn’t go there. “He’s a doctor. Concerned is his middle name.”
“He was more than concerned.”
How would Tucker know anything about that? “It doesn’t matter. The divorce petition has been file
d. I’m not challenging anything. It’s over.”
“I’m sorry for both of you, but that’s one less thing to take you away from here.” Tucker stood. “You have one more hour to work. Then go home and sleep.”
Her muscles tightened. Steam was still rising from the crater. “I’ll sleep when Baker sleeps.”
“Now that you’re back, I can’t afford to lose you.”
Her boss’s words made Sarah straighten, but they didn’t fill the emptiness inside her. Once she’d found total fulfillment in her work. Now she realized she’d been masking the loneliness, the hurt, the ache left by the failure of her marriage. The loss of Cullen.
“We have to figure out when something else might happen up there,” Tucker continued. “You need to be in top form. Rested. Ready for anything. Got it?”
Sarah knew that tone. No worries. She could work remotely from home. “Got it.”
“And no working from home, either.”
Darn. “Yes, sir.”
She returned to the data. Thirty minutes later her forehead throbbed. Eyestrain, tiredness or...a broken heart? Most likely a combination of all three. She massaged her temples.
Maybe Tucker was right about going home. She closed her laptop and slid it into her bag. She said goodbye to her coworkers, then exited the institute.
Outside, she glanced up at Mount Baker. The plume of steam contrasted against the blue sky. A gray, overcast day would have matched her mood and the volcano’s much better.
“Sarah.”
The sound of Cullen’s voice sent chills through her. She turned. He leaned against the building. The sight of him in a pair of faded jeans and short-sleeved T-shirt made her mouth go dry. She had to be way more tired than she realized if she was imagining him here.
Sarah blinked. Still there. She wasn’t hallucinating. She pinched herself. Not dreaming, either.
She pursed her lips. “Why are you here?”
He straightened. “You forgot something.”
No way. Sarah had been extra careful when she packed, to make sure she had everything that belonged to her. “What did I forget?”
Cullen raised his chin slightly, his jaw tight and his eyes dark. “Me.”
Her mouth gaped. The air whooshed from her lungs. She couldn’t breathe.
He walked toward her, slowly, as if each step were planned, calculated, with intent and purpose. “You’re busy with important work, so I brought me to you.”
She tried to speak, but couldn’t.
He reached forward and ran his hand along her cheek.
Sarah fought the urge to sink into his touch. She had to be strong. For both their sakes.
His gaze ran the length of her. “You’ve been working too hard. You have a headache.”
How did he know that? Her brain whirled with questions and fatigue and a heavy dose of confusion. “I don’t understand why you’re here.”
Cullen pulled something from behind his back. It must have been tucked in the waistband of his jeans. A white envelope. The divorce papers. “You left these for me.”
Her heart thudded with dread. “We’ll be divorced soon.”
He held the envelope out in front of him and tore the top portion.
She reached forward to stop him. “What are you doing?”
“What I should have done a year ago and put an end to any talk of a divorce.” He ripped the envelope in half. “Worst money I ever spent.”
She stared, stunned. “It doesn’t matter. The petition has been filed.”
“I told my attorney to halt the proceeding.”
Her mouth gaped. She closed it. “We’ll have to start over.”
“That’s all I want. For us to start over.”
Her heart pounded against her chest. Disbelief and hope warred inside her.
“I don’t want a divorce, Sarah. I’ve never wanted one, but I was too hurt to realize it. I love you. Only you.”
“Love is...”
“The only thing that matters.” He took her left hand. “I haven’t been the best husband. After what happened to Blaine I was afraid to lose control and wind up like him. You overwhelmed me from the moment we met. It was great at first. I felt whole again, but I got scared. Clung to control where I could. Ran away when I couldn’t. Didn’t open myself up. Compartmentalized everything. My work. My emotions. Our marriage. You. That wasn’t right. Or fair. No wonder you wanted to leave. You deserved better from me. I’m finally ready to give it to you. If you want it. Want me.”
Cullen’s words sent a gush of warmth flowing through Sarah’s veins. She fought the urge to soak up the love he was offering. “Oh, I appreciate this. You’ll never know how much. But I’ve seen what’s happened with my parents and stepparents. Even if we wanted to make it work, marriage doesn’t last.”
He squeezed her hand. “I know you’ve seen marriages fail. You’ve lived through it way too many times. But the divorce rate isn’t one hundred percent. Some marriages do last. Ours can if we’re willing to work on it. Fight for it. I know you’re a fighter. So am I.”
She wanted to believe, but something—fear, maybe—held her back. “Even if we fought for it, I don’t know how to be a good wife like Hannah, Carly and Zoe. You need someone who’s worthy of you. Perfect for you. That isn’t me.”
“You might not think you’re the perfect wife, but you’re the perfect wife for me.” Cullen pressed her hand against his mouth and kissed it. “I was afraid of losing myself in you. The way Blaine lost himself in drugs. What I failed to see is how good you are for me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You fill me up and set me free. You make me stronger. Nothing wrong with that at all.”
Her heart sighed. Still more protests rose to her lips. “But—”
“I don’t care that you’d rather be covered in mud or ash than wear something frilly. Or that you prefer cooking on a glacier than in a gourmet kitchen. I love that you’re willing to run toward an erupting volcano if it means getting the data you need while everyone else is running away. That’s the woman I love, the woman I married, the woman I want to grow old with.”
Tears stung the corners of her eyes. Feelings of inadequacy shot arrows through her. She sniffled. “But you deserve better.”
“You do, too. I’m far from the perfect man or husband. I tend to see things my way. Sometimes I’m too serious.”
That made her smile. “Sometimes?”
He grinned. “A lot of times. I don’t have a clue how to show how I’m feeling.”
Love for this man bubbled in her soul. “You’re doing a pretty good job right now.”
“It isn’t easy,” he admitted. “But you’re worth it. We both have a lot to learn and work to do. A lot of things can go wrong, but we can make this work. I have no doubt. But we’ll never know unless we’re willing to take a chance. I am. If you are, I trust you’ll stick it out even if things get a little rough. Up for it?”
Hope was starting to win. “I would love to believe our life, our future, could be spent together, not apart.”
He kissed her on the lips. “Believe it. Stay my wife.”
If ever she had a chance at a forever kind of love, it would be with Cullen. His coming for her proved he knew her, understood her, sometimes better than she knew herself. But fear kept whispering all the things that could go wrong. She was afraid of being disappointed, of being left. But fear wasn’t a good enough reason for walking away from something that had the potential to be so wonderful.
“Yes.” Sarah was afraid, but willing, oh-so-willing. She kissed him, a kiss full of her hopes and dreams for the two of them. “I love you. I want to make this work more than anything.”
His warm breath caressed her skin. He hugged her. “We are going to make this work.”
Hope overflowed
from her heart. “So what happens now?”
He removed two gold bands from his pocket. He slid hers on her ring finger. “Your turn.”
She placed the other on his finger.
“You’ll need to show me where we live,” he said. “Then I need to get my résumé together and drop a copy off at the hospital.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “What?”
“I love living in Hood Hamlet, but I love you more. I want to be where you are, whether it’s here by Mount Baker or wherever you end up. Most places need doctors. And we can always go back to Hood Hamlet someday. Or not. Let’s play it by ear and see what happens. Plans can be so overrated.”
Her heart swelled with love and respect for her husband. “You are amazing, Dr. Gray.”
“You’re not so bad yourself, Lavagirl.”
As Cullen kissed her, the ground trembled. Another earthquake from Mount Baker.
Contentment and joy flowed through Sarah. She didn’t need the sparkling castles with gleaming turrets she’d read about as a child. A steam-blasting volcano in the northern Cascades was the perfect backdrop for the beginning of her and Cullen’s fairy tale and true love’s kiss.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from Single Dad’s Holiday Wedding by Patricia Thayer
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Winning Back His Wife Page 19