By Way of the Rose

by Cynthia M. Ward

  “There is Tad.” John pointed toward the beautiful negro woman. That's Tad? Sarah felt the blood drain from her face as Tad smiled, but Sarah didn't smile back. She didn't know why, but she couldn't bring herself to smile at this girl who had taken her place for so many years. She didn't appreciate her and wanted her to know it. Sarah looked at her coldly.

  After this grueling task was done, Sarah breathed a deep sigh of relief. The hard part was over. She'd met everyone. She'd smiled. She'd been proper... as proper as she could be with such a hair-do. Then the soup was brought out.

  Dinner was a lively and festive occasion. The dining room was full of laughter and talking. Sarah was quiet through it all. She was wishing she wasn't so awkward, so obviously plain and simpleminded about this life... about style and about how to be a lady. Tad was so poised and witty. She knew exactly what to do and she knew how to make the others laugh as well. Sarah tried to copy the others and do what they did, but she felt every move she made was a bumbling mistake and clearly seen by everyone.

  Especially this Doug fellow. How could he miss her blunders? He never took his blasted eyes off her! Maybe it was his stare that caused most of her ungraceful actions. He made her nervous and Tad made her angry. When the last course had ended, Sarah quietly thanked God that it was all over. She didn't think she'd be able to come back here again to face all these strange people. This had been a lesson in pure out-and-out torture!

  As the men stood John whispered to Sarah. “I'm going to the parlor for a little while. Why don't you go with Mrs. Jenkins, Tad and Miss. Ruby? They are dying to get to know you better.”

  “I don't feel much like it tonight. Maybe some other time.”

  “Did something upset your stomach?”

  “No, it's all the fuss and bustle of today. I just want to be quiet for a while.”

  “If you don't go with them, they'll think you don't like them.”

  “I don't even know them. How could I not like them already?” Sarah said, even though she knew she'd already formed her opinion of Tad.

  “Well, do whatever you feel like, Sweetie. I'll be up after a little while.”

  “I'll see you in the morning then. I'm going straight to bed when I go up.”

  “Sweet dreams.” John smiled at her as he stood from the table.

  The ladies were waiting in the foyer for Sarah. As she stepped from the room they surrounded her and all began talking at once.

  “I'm Mrs. Jenkins,” said the tall slender one with the fat lips and olive complexion.

  “I'm Miss. Ruby,” said the one with the round face and chubby red cheeks.

  “I'm Tad,” said the one Sarah already knew she hated.

  Each one of them was a vision of style and etiquette. Perfect hair, perfect manners, perfect smiles, perfectly dressed and wonderful personalities. Could she ever measure up?

  “It's so wonderful having another woman in the place!” Miss Ruby said. “Now there's four of us. We're gaining on the men folk!”

  “Yes, indeed, we're infiltrating now!” Mrs. Jenkins smiled. “Come on up to my room, dear. We play cards every night after dinner.”

  “I'd like to, but... ” Before Sarah could excuse herself Miss Ruby pulled her closer to her.

  “I don't want to hear any ‘buts’ from you. I know you felt out of place tonight. I know you want to run and hide. But I'm not going to let you do that. Neither is Tad nor Miss Jenkins.”

  “You have no need to feel badly, my dear. We're all friends here.” Miss. Ruby smiled warmly.

  “It was bad enough that I knew I hadn't gotten my hair and clothing right, but all through dinner that Mr. Mahaffey stared at me and made it even worse. I just wanted to go through the floor!” Sarah's emotions spilled out.

  “You've never been flirted with? Have you been in a cave or something?” Mrs. Jenkins blurted. “Your hair wasn't a mess. Maybe it wasn't fixed same as ours, but it was still beautiful. And that man was flirting with you. Doug is a scandalous little fool with no tact! Don't let him bother you.”

  “He's engaged to a girl in Washington yet he flirts like crazy! He's the biggest philanderer in town!” Miss. Ruby added.

  “That's horrible!” Sarah soon found herself enjoying the ladies’ company and gossip.

  “That he is, Dear! He courts girls like you'd sample boxed chocolates!” Miss. Ruby agreed.

  “Yeah, he's been through the alphabet more than once, I daresay. But no one can stay angry with him. He's just got a way about him.” Mrs. Jenkins shook her head.

  “How long has he been engaged?” Sarah asked. “And why wouldn't he stay true to her?”

  “They plan the wedding, he finds a way of putting it off, and then they plan again. It's been this way for years,” Miss. Ruby explained.

  “It always works for him too! He always manages to wiggle out of it and still hold Gracie's heart. He's just not husband material,” Mrs. Jenkins huffed.

  They walked the whole time they were talking and sharing the tidbits of Doug's life. His loves. His flings. His broken promises. Soon Sarah found herself sitting in Mrs. Jenkins’ room. Although she was not sure how she got here, she didn't mind. She was enjoying herself far too much to care! Every new story they shared with her had an air of excitement and a perfectly thrilling secret. This was her first serious gossiping session and she found it absolutely fascinating!

  “Gracie's daddy came after him with a gun when he stood her up at the altar that first time. But when he got to him, Doug just sweet talked his way out of it and they ended up going out for a beer together! Can you believe that?” Mrs. Jenkins’ eyes widened.

  “I can't believe he left her at the altar and that they're still engaged, that's what I can't believe! Why did he ever ask her to marry him?” Sarah asked.

  “It was forced by her family and his. She is wealthy and his folks are too. Their marriage was planned from the time they were in diapers. Money marries money, you know?” Miss Ruby piped in.

  “I don't think it's because he doesn't love Gracie... he's just different. He knows this is what his parents want and even if he wanted to marry her he wouldn't. He wouldn't do it just to spite them,” said Mrs. Jenkins with a sharp nod of her head.

  “But if he loved her, he wouldn't do her that way,” Sarah's voice rose. “No matter what!”

  “That's true, but he's got more money than sense. I'm not sure that he loves anyone as much as he loves himself.” Mrs. Jenkins closed her eyes and lay her hand to her chest.

  “That's it. He's just after fun and excitement. He's not ready to leave this life to be a husband and eventually a father", Miss Ruby added.

  “Slow down, you two, he ain't all that bad. You're making him sound like a pure scoundrel. You know that she's his cousin too and that's why he won't marry her,” Tad informed them all.

  “Well, he should break it off if he doesn't want her,” Sarah huffed. “He can't just leave her dangling forever!”

  “He doesn't have sense enough to do that,” Miss. Ruby scoffed.

  “Well, now that you know all the dirt on Mr. Mahaffey, what do you say we play a round of spite and malice?” Tad shuffled the cards.

  “I've never played,” Sarah informed them.

  “Never? Well, we'll show you how. It's very easy to learn,” Tad said as Mrs. Jenkins put another chair up to her card table for Sarah.

  “I'll try. Sounds like fun anyway.”

  They played and talked until late that evening. Sarah was disappointed when the clock struck ten. It was time to go. Sarah, Tad and Miss. Ruby got up from the table.

  “Until tomorrow night, girls.” Mrs. Jenkins smiled.

  “Until tomorrow,” they said.

  “I had a wonderful time, Mrs. Jenkins. I'm looking forward to it,” Sarah smiled politely.

  “So did we, dear. And you all have a good night.” Mrs. Jenkins closed the door behind them.

  Sarah eased down the hallway toward her room. A light from under John's door shone into the hallway. She pe
eped into the room where he sat reading. He looked up as she entered and smiled. “I hate to tell you this, but I was almost certain they were going to get you.” He chuckled. “Did you have a good time?”

  “Yes, I had a wonderful time. Those ladies are so much fun to be around. They have an energy about them. An air of goodwill and happiness. I like them a lot.”

  “Good, good. I knew you would if you'd only give them a chance.”

  “They told me quite a bit about your friend, Mr. Mahaffey.”

  “His ears must be burning tonight something fierce. He's a wild one.” John laughed.

  “And quite the ladies’ man I hear.”

  “Oh yes, that too. But don't you go falling in love with him.”

  “Never! I'd never fall for someone as trifling as that! Besides there's that mop of ugly red hair on his stupid head!”

  “Well, we'll see. I can tell plain as anyone that he has his sights set on you though.”

  “Well, he needs to set his sights for his bride to be, or let her go.”

  “Well, he's got to keep her in case he ever needs her.”

  “What? Needs her? Needs her for what?”

  “Well, if he ever wants to be married.”

  “He's such a horrible man! I don't see how he has so many folks that love him and that are his friends.”

  “If you ever talk with him, you'll know. He's something.”

  “I can tell you what he is, he's a no good, fast talking— ”

  “All right, Sarah, but remember... you've only heard of his bad qualities. Just wait until you meet the man and talk with him face to face. You'll see. You'll like him too.”

  “Like him? Never!” Sarah sat beside John as they talked about the evening. The world was asleep now and it was just her and John sitting and quietly talking together. This was the time when he was all hers. She liked having his total attention, even if only for a short while before bed time. She looked at him, studying every part of his face. What was it about him that made her want to feel his arms around her? To have him all to herself? To wish to know him as a man and not as a brother? What would he say if he knew her scandalous thoughts?

  With morning came more running around and people everywhere. Sarah and John had a quick breakfast before heading out into the world again. John said he wanted to show her everything: the park; the library; the city of Rochester. In the park children were running and playing; couples were walking hand in hand. Mothers strolled their babies while birds and squirrels darted about. Two playful squirrels scampered about in the leaves. They'd chase each other and tumble about before winding themselves up a tall oak tree. Sarah laughed at the way they seemed to box at one another. The birds sang. Flowers planted along the walk way were in full bloom. This was like a tiny paradise. As they walked along Sarah and John breathed in the fresh air.

  “Not like home, huh?” John asked.

  “It's so different it's scary.”

  “Scary?”

  “I'm scared that I might wake up to find this all a dream.”

  “It's quite real. Just enjoy it all, my little Princess.”

  Sarah didn't know why, but she'd began to resent that title more than anything, those words grated on her like sand paper. She didn't want to be his “little Princess"! Sometimes she felt like screaming out, I'm not your little Princess! Can't you see? I'm a woman! I'm a grown woman

  On the other side of the little bridge they crossed next, they spied Doug on a bench with a young lady. When he saw them he smiled and leapt up. “I'll be back in a moment.” he told the woman, then hurried over to meet John and Sarah before they passed. “What brings ya two through here?” He smiled.

  “Just showing Sarah around.”

  “Well, Miss Sarah, how are ya likin’ Rochester thus far?”

  “It's wonderful.” She politely smiled at Doug.

  “Who's your lady friend over there? I don't recognize her. Is she a new one?” John asked.

  “I don't know who she is. We're just talkin'.”

  “Yeah, I know all about your kind of ‘just talking.’ Someone should warn that poor girl before she falls in love with your gallivanting hide!” John playfully teased.

  “That just goes to show ya, girls fall in love far too easy.”

  “I see, it has nothing to do with your smooth talk, right?”

  “Hmm, who knows.” He tipped his hat. “Nice seein’ ya again, Miss Sarah. I hope you don't believe everything ya hear.” He winked at her. A silly grin seemed plastered on his face. “I'll see ya two tonight, at dinner.” He returned to the lady as John and Sarah walked on.

  “That man.” Sarah shook her head. “If he were a woman he'd be tarred, feathered and run out of town on a rail!”

  “He just enjoys the company of women. Truly, I don't believe he would compromise any of them.”

  “He just gives me a weird feeling.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The way he looks at me. It feels... I don't know. It gets on my nerves, it's right next to disrespect. A gentleman has never looked at me so.”

  “He's not known for tact, just fun. He really likes you though, I can tell that as plain as daylight. He's holding off because you're my sister and he knows I'll knock him into next week if he tries to pull anything on you. He just can't help but try and flirt with you a little. It's in his blood.”

  “He's a pure mess.” Sarah wrapped her arm around John's as they walked home. She closed her eyes and smelled the flowers that perfumed the air. The feel of John so close to her made her feel safe and loved. She smiled as her heart felt like it were going to burst from joy.

  Night was beginning to wrap its soft gray blanket around the world. Sarah was most always excited about the coming of night. Was it because she and John would be alone together to relax and talk without interruption? Or, could it be because soon she and the ladies would get together for another one of these wonderful gossiping and card playing sessions? Maybe it could even be because back home, nighttime was when she use to curl up in her own room to shut out all the problems of the long day. She'd just dream and converse with nature and watch the stars shining through the dark, moonlit night. Where she and she alone could open herself toward this vast universe and feel it strengthening her, whispering its hope in her ears and washing away the tired day. When she could almost see and hear her Indian mother soothing her to sleep— soothing her the way Marion did the other children. Yes, her peaceful nights were filled with soft sweet imaginations.

  After dinner and cards Sarah and John sat talking about home. Wondering what the folks were doing tonight. “Oh, they're in bed fast asleep by now.” Sarah looked at the clock on the wall as it drew closer to midnight. “They turn in with the chickens, you know. I'm completely another person here. I've never stayed up late. It's almost like I'm breaking all the rules.” She smiled.

  “Well most of our work is done at night. Which reminds me; I'm going to have to start back soon.”

  “I'd love to come see where you work. I've always wondered how the newspaper business worked.”

  “Oh, it's a boring and dirty business. Ink everywhere and sitting at a desk editing other people's work for hours on end. You wouldn't like it, so no need in me taking you there. Besides, it's in a rough part of town.”

  “Well, I suppose I need to be looking for a job anyway. Maybe I could work on getting my teaching certificate or something.”

  “No need for all that. I make enough to take care of us and send some home.”

  “I still want to help. I need to earn my keep to feel good about myself.” Sarah yawned. “I think I'm going to turn in now.”

  “I wish you a sweet sleep, my Princess.”

  Sarah squinted her eyes and huffed. “Thank you, I will” She got up to leave.

  “Want me to walk with you?”

  “No need, I know where my room is. And I'm not a baby.”

  “I didn't say you were, I just wanted to see you off to bed.”

  �
�If you want to.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  * * * *

  An invitation came from Mr. Tyson. There was to be a charity ball held at his main house that coming weekend. Speakers such as Susan B. Anthony were said to be among the list of notables attending. John looked at Sarah as she sat across from him at the breakfast that morning. “We have to get you a ball gown,” he said.

  “No! You've bought me too much already.”

  “We can't fuss about this. You need a gown to go to this grand event.”

  “Not if I don't go.”

  “You have to go!”

  “No I don't.”

  “No, you don't have to go, but I know you want to and I know I want you to go as well.”

  “But, John... ”

  “No ‘buts’ this time. We're going shopping. If you don't come along, I'll just get it on my own like I did the necklace. I know what size you wear.”

  “Then I'll go, but remember, this isn't a gift, it's a loan. I'm paying you back for it! Every cent. Deal?”

  “Fine, it's a deal.”

  Sarah asked Mrs. Jenkins and Miss. Ruby to come along to help her pick out a stylish gown. She wanted to surprise John. But she wouldn't ask Tad. She didn't want her there.

  “This is my favorite activity.” Miss. Ruby smiled. “I do so love helping dress a beautiful girl.”

  “I know how you love it, but I'm better at it.” Mrs. Jenkins laughed. “I'll have this girl looking like someone Cinderella would be envious of.”

  “Well, I'll do her hair then. I can do that better than you can.”

  “Then it's settled. I do the dress and you do the hair.”

  Sarah settled for a gown of pink tulle with two skirts of double crepe strapped with purple satin ribbon. She adored the short, fan shaped sleeves. The gown was simple, yet outstanding with a few frills here and there, tight in the waist to show off her perfect figure.

  Mrs. Ruby and Mrs. Jenkins were excited to introduce Sarah into society. Everything was going to be perfect! This was going to be one of the best nights of Sarah's life. She was going to shine. The ladies would make sure of that!