By Way of the Rose

by Cynthia M. Ward

  “Yer lookin’ well today.” he smiled at her.

  “I feel rather well today too,” she informed him.

  “That's good to hear.” He helped her into the buggy.

  Doug was enjoying every minute he spent with Sarah. These days of his guardianship were like a mixed blessing. The more time he spent with her the more he liked her, yet he knew he could do nothing about it. Sarah was unlike any woman he'd ever known. She was not only beautiful but smart and kind. She was tenderhearted yet strong. Sometimes when they sat alone together he'd imagine there was no John. That Sarah was just as much in love with him as he was with her. When they walked through the park, her arm curled around his, he imagined that they were lovers out on an evening stroll. She was so close, yet so far. Forbidden to him.

  Everyone began suspecting that Doug and Sarah were indeed lovers. The men stopped coming around to court Sarah. The word had spread far and wide that the engagement between Doug and Gracie had officially dissolved and that Sarah and Doug were to be married soon. “Finally, that boy has found someone who could settle him down!” They'd say, “He hasn't been seen with any other woman since the night of the ball and that's not normal for him in the least!” The rumors traveled like wildfire through Rochester. Sarah and Doug must be getting married soon! It was clear to everyone, viewing these events from the sidelines, exactly what was going on.

  Sarah was on her way to the bakery one sunny morning when she bumped into Mr. Atkins. “Good morning, Miss DuVal.” He tipped his hat to her. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

  “Excuse me?” She gave him a puzzled look.

  “Your engagement, of course.”

  “My engagement? Whatever do you mean?”

  “Why, you and Mr. Mahaffey. Was it supposed to be a secret? I just figured it was common knowledge if I knew about it. I'm always the last to know these things.”

  “We're not engaged, where did you hear that one?”

  “The word is all around that he and Miss Gracie have concluded their engagement, and well, I've noticed the time you two are spending together. I just never questioned the validity of the information.”

  “So the word is ‘all around’ is it? I can just imagine where this ‘word’ came from.” Sarah smirked. “I am fond of Doug, but he's just entertaining me while John is gone.”

  “Oh. I see.” The man's face lit up a bit. “How is your brother? Is he still angry with me?”

  “He's fine and no, he's not angry with you,” Sarah lied to be polite.

  “The way he acted that day at The Falls, one would have thought I had taken out his wife.” He chuckled.

  “He just didn't want me there in case something happened.”

  “I understand. I never should have taken a lady to such an event.” He paused then went on. “Um, Since you and Mr. Mahaffey aren't serious, would you consider letting me take you out for a drive again sometime?”

  Suddenly, Sarah saw Doug as her means of escape, she should have let the story stand as it was. This rumor must be the reason for the sudden decline of male callers to the boarding house. “Oh, um, well, though we are not engaged, I am still very fond of Mr. Mahaffey and who knows where this might lead in the future.”

  “Enough said.” He held up his hand. “I knew what the answer would be, but I just couldn't resist asking the question. Well, I have to get going now, it was good seeing you again. Have a wonderful day, Miss DuVal.”

  “And you, Mr. Atkins.” He walked away with a bit of bruised pride she suspected. Sarah, however, felt a clever giggle escape her lips, which she suppressed with her fingertips. She couldn't wait to tell Doug about what wonderful gossip she'd just heard, and she knew exactly from whence it had sprung. Those two ladies! Who else but Mrs. Jenkins and Miss Ruby could create and spread such news so quickly? Yes, this definitely had the markings of their crafty minds. In their thirst for gossip, they had given her a way out!

  A knock sounded on Sarah's door. “Who's there?” She called.

  “Doug.”

  She put down her copy of Emerson and opened the door.

  “Hey.” Doug grinned at her with his quick boyish smile. “I thought ya might want to get out of here for a little while and go for a ride or somethin'. The afternoon is just simply enchanting! Let's not waste it!”

  “Yes, yes. I'd like that. I also wanted to go by the library again.”

  “Well, yer chariot awaits, my lady. Maybe after the library we can go to the park. I've packed a picnic for us.”

  “Well, let's not keep the library and food waiting!”

  On their way, Sarah thought about her conversation with Mr. Atkins that morning and burst out laughing.

  “What's so funny?” Doug cocked his head toward her. “Do I amuse ya, darlin'?”

  “I just have to let you know that we're engaged now! Are you very happy, my love?” She couldn't stop laughing.

  “W— what? W— when did we? What are ya talkin’ about? Has John being gone so long completely addled ya?”

  “No, no... I'm fine! But that's the gossip I've heard. Supposedly you've broke it off with Gracie and we are to be married soon.”

  “Oh, dear! Just wait until the word gets back to my parents.” He laughed in a nonchalant tone. “I don't know where folks get these wild ideas.”

  “It takes little to get something like this going.” Sarah shrugged her shoulders. “What do you think Gracie will think about the news?” she quietly asked.

  “She wouldn't care. She's not in love with me any more than I'm in love with her.”

  “Really? Does she see other men too?”

  “When she can get away with it she does. We're friends, not lovers.”

  “I don't understand it. If neither of you want to marry the other, why not break it off?”

  “Our parents. And, well, we agreed that if we didn't fall in love with anyone else after a few years we'd marry each other to make our parents happy. But, bein’ cousins who practically grew up together, there's something about it that just doesn't seem right.”

  “Yes, I always thought you Northerners looked down on that... cousins marrying cousins and all those backwoods customs.”

  “I'm not northern, I'm Irish. But all's fair in keepin’ the money where it belongs, my dear.”

  “In the family?”

  “Right.”

  “Mrs. Jenkins and Miss Ruby didn't tell me these details. Tad told me that you were cousins.”

  “Not as sensational that way. But in their defense, they don't know about our ‘agreement.’ No one does, except ya. But they're well aware that we're related.” Doug stopped the buggy in front of the library. “Here we are.”

  “Doug,” Sarah grabbed him by the arm. “I was just thinking, since Gracie wouldn't mind, would it be all right for us to let this rumor stand?”

  “What do ya mean?” He smiled at her. “Let everyone believe that we're engaged?” This idea seemed to intrigue him.

  “I mean the second I told Mr. Atkins the truth, he pounced and asked me to go for another ride with him. Ever since this rumor has been going around I haven't had to deal with suitors and such. It's just easier this way.”

  “Oh, well then sure... but only if I can kiss ya in public to make it look more real.” He grinned as he leaned towards with his lips puckered. “Come on, darlin'.”

  Sarah looked a bit shocked then she giggled. “You are so bad.” She playfully slapped him on the arm.

  “Well, I am trying to be a gentleman, but things just slip out every now and again.” He winked at her. “Come on, let's go see if we can't find ya a new book to get enraptured in.” He climbed down from the buggy and walked around to help her out.

  After leaving the library, they went to the park to eat and read over their new books. Sarah sat across from Doug on the quilt she'd spread on the ground. She nibbled on a piece of fried chicken while she read. Doug was skimming over the words in his book, not fully absorbing them, which made comprehending what he was reading
very hard. He'd look at Sarah every so often. He couldn't believe the irony of it all. Here he was, finally in love, but it was to a girl he could not have. Sarah glanced his way and he quickly looked back towards his book. It was so hard keeping the truth to himself. Covering it over with jokes and pretending that it was easy to pretend that he was her betrothed.

  Doug walked Sarah to her room that evening. “I had a good time. Thank you for taking me out today.” Sarah smiled warmly. “You've been so wonderful.”

  “Thank ya. I'm glad I can make ya happy.” He looked deep into her eyes for a moment. “I'll see ya at dinner then.” He quickly left.

  Sarah dressed for dinner and walked downstairs to wait with the ladies. When she walked into the parlor she saw Mrs. Jenkins and Miss Ruby and smiled brightly but soon noticed the seriousness of their expressions. “Is something wrong?” Her smile dropped.

  “Sit down Sarah, we have to talk.” Mrs. Jenkins had a grave look on her face.

  “What is it?” She felt her stomach tighten up. Had something happened to John?

  “We've noticed the time you and Douglas have been spending together. You know we told you that he was engaged. I must say, I was quite shocked when I was informed that you two were engaged also.” Mrs. Jenkins glared at her.

  “As was I,” Miss. Ruby added.

  Sarah felt relief that it was mere nonsense and nothing serious. “I thought the rumor was that he'd broken his engagement with Gracie,” she said sarcastically.

  “Rumor is that he's still dangling Gracie while he's making plans to marry you.”

  “Ladies, please. Doug and I aren't engaged. We're not in love. We're just friends!”

  “Well you, little miss, have no right to lead Doug on. I see him when he's with you. You may not love him, but he loves you and for goodness sake, if you're not in love with him, stop dragging him along, let him marry Gracie!” Miss Ruby chastised her.

  “I'm not leading anyone on.”

  “Then you're going to marry Doug?” Mrs. Jenkins sat forward.

  “No, I'm not going to marry anyone!” Sarah huffed in exasperation.

  “I can't believe you! I thought you were better than this!” Miss Ruby said through her pursed lips.

  “Better than what? I haven't done anything wrong. You two, on the other hand, have invaded my privacy and started rumors about something you know nothing about! Doug and I are not ‘in love’ and we both know it! John asked Doug to watch out for me while he was gone. That's it. This great love affair you have made up between us does not exist. And Doug has not broken off his engagement, for your continued information. The only reason we went along with it is because Gracie doesn't care and I wanted to discourage suitors coming around here to court me.”

  “Oh, dear me. What a tangled web! I don't see why you felt you had to keep it a secret. If you'd just told us from the start, there wouldn't have been all this brouhaha,” Mrs. Jenkins said in tones of righteous indignation.

  “Now, how exciting would the truth have been for you two gossip gluttons?” Sarah smiled as she cut them a sly look.

  “You're right. I guess we do gossip too much and we should not have invaded your privacy. Can you forgive us?” Miss. Ruby begged.

  “Oh, I suppose so. But I can't believe you two thought me a floozy. Don't you know me a little better than that?”

  “Well, in our hearts we knew better, but the evidence was so convincing. You have to admit that,” Mrs. Jenkins explained.

  “I guess if I were in your shoes I wouldn't know what to think either.”

  “Well, Tad was saying that you two would make a handsome couple.” Miss. Ruby smiled.

  “I really don't care what she said,” Sarah huffed under her breath.

  “What's wrong with you, Sarah? Why do you have such animosity for Tad? You're acting just like that Nathan creature you told us about,” Mrs. Jenkins snapped. “You've no cause or reason for treating poor Tad the way you do. For shame!”

  The woman's blunt words seemed to smack Sarah in the face. Me? Like Nathan? Never! Her skin crawled. Maybe she had been thoughtless and short with Tad, but she certainly was nowhere near as mean as Nathan! But her friends were right. Hating someone for no real reason wasn't right. “I know I've been somewhat short with Tad,” she reluctantly conceded. “I'm just so jealous of her and the relationship she and John shared.”

  “Sarah, she's like his little sister or daughter. John has a big heart and there's room in there for both of you.” Miss. Ruby spoke more softly. “For either one of you to try and kick the other out would hurt John deeply and would be unfair. He loves you both.”

  As the truth rose to the surface Sarah felt tears sting her eyes. She realized her own selfish flaws. For once the ladies assumptions were right. She'd been dreadfully unfair to Tad. “I've been so horrible to her. Do you suppose she'll ever forgive me?” She wistfully looked at the two ladies.

  “She's got a very forgiving spirit. All she's ever wanted was to be your friend.” Mrs. Jenkins smiled.

  “What should I say to her?”

  “Why don't you start with, ‘I'm sorry’ and go from there,” Miss Ruby suggested.

  “I will, after dinner.” Sarah breathed deeply.

  Later that evening, after their usual gathering in Mrs. Jenkins’ room, Sarah was thinking about Tad. She'd smiled at her a few times over the card game and tried to let her know how she'd changed. Now she wanted to talk to her and tell her she was sorry. She walked towards Tad's room, but as she drew near, she saw Tad stepping from her room with a basket and carrying a candle. She walked down the hall toward the stairs. Sarah paused. Something was up. She kept quiet and decided to follow her and find out what this was all about. She thought about that time before when she'd seen Tad carrying first aid supplies downstairs in the middle of the night. What was she up to? What was the secret behind Tad's nightly excursions

  Tad quietly made her way downstairs. She walked through the dining room and into the kitchen. Sarah watched from the shadows as Tad filled the basket with food. What in the world is she up to? She watched as Tad went into the pantry. She heard her open the door which led to the basement. Sarah waited a while, but when Tad didn't come back she walked to the pantry door. “Tad,” she called. No one answered. Sarah opened the door to the basement and quietly crept down the dark stairs. It was pitch black down here. Sarah walked carefully; she could see nothing. “Tad,” Sarah called again. There was no answer... no one was there. It was just Sarah, alone in a small dark basement room. As her eyes became more accustom to the dark she saw what looked to be the outline of shelves along the walls. “Where did she go?” Sarah thought out loud. “Tad... are you down here?” She called a bit louder but still, no one answered. Sarah heard footsteps coming toward her, but from where she didn't know. Sarah gasped as one of the shelves opened as if it were a door and Tad walked through, the light from her candle illuminating the small basement room.

  “W— Where did you come from?” Sarah blurted. “What is this?”

  “Sarah... what in the world are you doing down here?” Tad looked at her in shock.

  “Where did you come from?”

  “Never mind that... get back upstairs now.”

  “Wait a minute... where did you come from? What's behind that shelf?”

  “Sarah, it's best if you don't ask too many questions. Now get back upstairs.”

  “No, what's going on here? What's behind those shelves? I want to know!”

  “You're not supposed to know. Just forget you ever saw it!” Tad commanded.

  “I'm not supposed to know what?”

  “John doesn't want you to know. You'll get me in all kinds of trouble with him.”

  “John doesn't want me to know what?”

  “What all is going on here. What all he's involved in. What we're all doing here.”

  “If you don't tell me right now I'll just go find out for myself!” Sarah started toward the shelves.

  “Why do you have to make
it so hard on me?” Tad huffed.

  “If you'll just tell me it won't be hard on you... I won't let on that I know.”

  “You're kidding, right?” Tad said. “The way you hate me, you'd probably tell John as soon as he steps off the train that I told you.”

  “I don't hate you, Tad, not anymore.”

  “Really? And just why don't you hate me anymore?”

  “I was talking with Mrs. Jenkins tonight and she helped me to see how wrong I've been. I was coming to talk with you when I saw you leaving and followed you down here. Truly I was— just go ask Mrs. Jenkins. I've been very mean and I had no cause. I'm sorry and I hope we can be friends. If you still want to be my friend?”

  Tad looked at Sarah for a few seconds before she replied. “I still want to be to be your friend. But I'm John's friend too and he told us all that you are not to know about this.”

  “I'd say it's a little late now. I do believe I've found out, Tad.”

  “I suppose now there's no keeping it from you anyway. This is our hideout. We're what you'd call ‘freedom fighters'. Everyone in the house is. We all work for Mr. Tyson. We help runaway slaves start over with a new life. This is one of the last stops before they cross over into Canada.”

  “John does this?”

  “Yes, he travels around the South distributing The Freedom Gazette and talking to folks about ending slavery and helping slaves in the South get up here.”

  “Wait a minute... The Freedom Gazette... is that the newspaper John works for?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, my dear Jesus!” Sarah felt lightheaded.

  “I know. This is why John didn't want you to know.”

  “I— I feel like I'm going to faint. I knew you were all against slavery, but I had no idea it ran to this extent.”

  “You are looking awfully pale. Come on, let's get you upstairs.”

  “I'm fine, really I am. I'm just shocked, is all. I can't believe this. I just can't believe that John is in this.”

  “He's been in it for years, Sarah... since before I came here as a child.”

  “You were a slave, weren't you?”

  “Yes... John brought me here when I was about eight years old. I was abused every day of my life until I met John.”