Lace-Covered Compromise

by Silvia Violet

  So go get him.

  No. I’d hurt him and there were a hundred other reasons we would never work. He was out while I was still hiding, and I’d yet to figure out how to relax enough around him to do anything other than argue or fuck. And if we tried to date and things blew up, it could spell the end of Kingston. It wasn’t worth the risk, was it?

  Yes.

  No.

  You’ve always been a risk taker.

  Not this time.

  I closed my eyes and saw nothing but Nate. Fuck. If I really was too much of a coward to give us another chance, I was going to have to do something to purge Nate from my mind.

  Getting drunk would only leave me feeling worse. But a good fuck wouldn’t. Maybe that was exactly what I needed.

  Darryl was waiting for me when I landed at O’Hare. “Home, Mr. Kingston?”

  “No. Remember the club you took me to when I needed to find Mr. Thomas?” Why the hell had I forgotten the name of it?

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I’d like you to take me there.”

  “Are you sure, sir? You must be tired and hungry. I could order you some food, and it would arrive by the time we got to your apartment.”

  I sighed. “I appreciate you trying to take care of me, but I’m going to the club. Ass-some. That’s the name.”

  Darryl nodded. “Yes, sir. I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Are you meeting Mr. Thomas again?”

  “No.” I didn’t elaborate and it wasn’t his place to ask. “Let me off a few blocks away and wait for me there.”

  Darryl frowned, but he simply said, “Yes, sir.”

  Once I was settled in the car, Darryl closed my door, took his seat, and pulled out into traffic.

  Of course, Nate might be there. I wasn’t privy to his schedule, and I’d sworn I’d never invade his privacy by stalking him again. Plus the last thing I wanted was to see him grinding up on some other man, because then I’d want . . . No, I wasn’t going there for him. I simply wanted to find a man to fuck the awful day away.

  If wanting to hide your bisexuality is a reason not to go after Nate, what are you doing heading to a club where anyone could see you?

  I hated that pretentious voice in my head. No one there cares who I am.

  Are you so sure?

  I wasn’t, but I wouldn’t let fear keep me from my mission.

  Maybe a little fear is healthy.

  Or a little risk.

  Shut the fuck up.

  Darryl pulled up to the curb down the street from the club, then came around to my door to let me out, promising to wait close by. Once I was inside, I ordered a drink. I needed alcohol to help me remember exactly why I was there.

  To do something supremely stupid.

  To enjoy myself and get laid. Maybe a hard dirty bathroom fuck would break the constant loop of Nate thoughts in my head.

  I finished my drink, hung my jacket over a chair, and made my way on to the dance floor.

  I was dancing with a hot dangerously young blond who’d untucked my shirt so he could run his hands over my back when I saw Nate. His lipstick was blue. That was supposed to be for me. Was he wearing the matching panties? The bastard.

  I slithered out of the boy’s clutches, done dancing for the moment. I’m not seeking out Nate. No, I’m definitely not. I needed another drink to strengthen my resolve.

  I ordered two shots of tequila, the perfect big-mistake drink. I threw one back followed rapidly by the next. Someone grabbed my arm as I was sucking the lime slice.

  It was Nate.

  I pulled away from him. “Get your hands off me.”

  “Adam, you’re not thinking clearly.”

  I snorted. “And you are? If you can troll for tricks here, so can I.”

  “Adam.” He frowned at the shot glasses on the bar. “How many of these have you had?”

  “Not enough. I can still see you.”

  Nate shook his head. “Don’t be stupid, Adam. Let me call you a cab?”

  “Fuck no. You don’t get to cockblock me.”

  Nate moved closer and this time I let him be in my space. “For your information, I just came here to dance.”

  “Riiight.” I signaled the bartender. I needed another shot if I was going to have to listen to lies.

  Nate shook his head at the bartender, and the man turned to another customer.

  “I need a drink.”

  “No, you don’t. And I’m not lying. I haven’t been with anyone since you.”

  I sneered at him. “Is that a record?”

  “Ha! So you really came here looking for a fuck tonight?”

  “Yes. And if you’re not going to find someone for me, then leave me alone so I can get on with it.”

  He took my arm again, dragged me toward the back of the club, and pulled me into a dim hallway. Several couples were already there, taking advantage of the semi-privacy.

  Nate glanced around.

  “Who are you looking for?” I asked. “Are you like my pimp now?”

  “No, I’m the man who’s going to give you what you need.”

  “B-but—” I sputtered.

  “Shut up.”

  I took a swing at him, but he grabbed my arm, twisted it behind my back, and pushed me face first against the wall. I’d never been so turned on in my life.

  He teased the outside of my ear with his tongue. “Is this what you want? An anonymous fuck with your face scraping a cinder block wall, exposed where anyone could see you?”

  I licked my suddenly dry lips. “Yes.”

  “You want me to fuck you with no care for whether it hurts you. You want me to push you to your knees, make you suck my cock.”

  “I . . .” I was so fucking hard I couldn’t think.

  “You want to fuck and then forget it happened, to ignore what you need and who you are after you leave this club?”

  “I . . . I don’t—”

  “Shut up. That was a rhetorical question.”

  I thought he was going to walk away. Surely he wouldn’t actually fuck me here like this, would he?

  A moment later, I got my answer when he reached around, unfastened my jeans, and shoved them over my hips.

  Eager for more, I widened my stance. If he was game, so was I.

  A slurping sound had me glancing over my shoulder. Nate had two fingers in his mouth and was coating them thoroughly with spit. He used his other hand to push my face back against the wall.

  “Don’t look. You’re not supposed to see me, remember? Just feel me in your ass.”

  “Oh fuck.”

  “Yes!” He leaned in close, mouth touching my ear. “You do want this, don’t you?”

  I nodded. “God, yes.”

  “Good. Then open up for me.”

  He slid his wet fingers down my crack and entered me. He wasn’t as rough as I’d expected, but he wasn’t gentle either. I managed not to flinch or cry out as he began to finger fuck me.

  “Relax,” he ordered.

  I pushed back, taking his fingers deeper even as I thought: This can’t be happening.

  It was, though, and I fucking loved it, no matter how much my mind tried to tell me I shouldn’t.

  He ripped open a condom packet. “You ready now?”

  “Yes!” I barely got the word out before he thrust into me, and I had to press my lips together to hold in a shout.

  “Fuck you’re tight. Feels so good.”

  His breath was hot on my neck. I groaned and tilted my head to the side.

  He took the invitation, licking the drops of sweat running down my neck and then biting as he drove in again.

  I cried out.

  He covered my mouth with one of his hands, the other holding my hip, keeping me in place for his harsh strokes. “Can’t have you making too much noise back here.”

  I fought to drag in enough air through my nose as I pushed back against him, wanting more. He fucked me relentlessly. I struggled at first, fighting what I wanted. Then I just gave in and let him.


  Eventually, he took his hand off my mouth. “Keep quiet even when I make you come.”

  I nodded. Please don’t stop.

  He wrapped that hand around my cock and jacked me to the same rhythm as his thrusts. I reveled in the sensation of his body pressed against mine, heating every inch of me. When I dragged in a breath, his scent overpowered me. I leaned into the wall, giving him complete control. He was everything I wanted.

  I braced my forehead against my hand barely able to stay upright. My balls drew up tight and lightning sizzled through my body as orgasm seized me. I bit down on the fleshy part below my thumb as I shot over Nate’s fingers.

  “Fuck,” Nate gasped and he jerked against my ass as he came too.

  “Yeah.” I stayed still for several seconds, enjoying the post-sex stupor. Then Nate pulled out.

  “Goodbye, Adam,” he whispered against my ear.

  I stood there with my hand throbbing, the cool of the wall against my face doing nothing to ease the heat pouring off me . . . I already missed the feel of Nate against my back, his warmth, the way he obviously wanted me as badly as I wanted him.

  Nate’s word finally sank into my addled mind. He’d said “Goodbye.”

  I found the energy to push away from the wall and pull up my pants. When I turned around, I scanned the area for Nate, hoping he might not have gone far. No such luck. He’d left me there. Alone, with a throbbing ass and what was surely a bite mark on my neck. I stepped back into the main area of the club and forced myself to head toward the door rather than searching for him there. So this had been a farewell fuck? Fine. I wasn’t chasing him.

  I called Darryl, which wasn’t easy with my hands shaking.

  “Are you all right, sir?” he asked.

  “I’m fine, just ready to go home now.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I wasn’t fine. I was about to lose it right there. What the hell had I done?

  After what seemed like an endless drive though traffic, Darryl dropped me at the front door of my building. He wanted to walk me up, but I told him I hardly needed a bodyguard in a posh building like mine.

  “No, sir, but you don’t seem to be feeling well.”

  “I’m fine. Thank you though.” I needed to be in my own space, alone, where I could fall apart.

  I couldn’t sleep, I lay in my bed.

  “Goodbye, Adam.” The words echoed in my mind.

  It wasn’t like I’d never see Nate again. He’d be there at Kingston whether I liked it or not. But to never touch him again, never kiss him again— Is that what he’d meant? Is that what he wanted or did I still have a chance? If I listened to Nate, if I admitted that I needed him, could that possibly be enough to make him trust me?

  My father hadn’t, and I’d rarely trusted myself.

  I don’t have any idea how to be part of a team. That’s not what I’m cut out for. I should be researching in the lab. I . . .

  Shouldn’t be the CEO . . .

  Maybe that was the key.

  I grabbed my laptop and began typing furiously. We had another progress meeting with the board the next day. Maybe I could still show Nate I cared, after all.

  The next day at work I didn’t attempt to communicate with Nate at all. I focused completely on what I had to do, even though it made my stomach flutter. I was determined to appear calm and collected at the meeting.

  I’d timed my entrance so I’d be just a few minutes late. Once I thought everyone would be there, I headed down the hall and pushed open the boardroom door.

  When I entered, Nate’s expression filled with anger, uncertainty, maybe even pain. But I couldn’t think about that now.

  I can do this.

  “I have an announcement.” No one was shocked when I interrupted one of the board members.

  Marsha glared at me. “This better be good.”

  “It is.”

  Now Nate just looked angry. “We didn’t discuss—”

  “We don’t need to discuss this.”

  “Adam.”

  “I want to retain my position as CTO after the transition, rather than taking joint control with Nate.”

  “What?” Nate and Marsha spoke simultaneously. The rest of the board stared.

  “I know my father intended for me to take over as CEO and a position of president to be created for Nate, but I don’t think that will work.”

  Everyone remained silent, so I continued.

  “Marsha, I’d like you to take the CFO position. Martin doesn’t want to work with me or Nate since he’s considering retiring, so let’s send him on his way at the end of the year.”

  “Adam, what’s going on?” Nate asked.

  “My strengths lie in technology development, not in being CEO. Nate, you’re much better with people; you’ll be a great CEO. I want you to have the position.”

  “But you said—”

  “I’m not giving up my share of the company. I’ll still be an owner, but I don’t want—”

  “You’re saying you’re going to listen to what I want for the company? That I’m going to make executive decisions?”

  “I expect to be consulted like anyone else on the executive team, but yes.”

  “Your father wanted—”

  I held up my hand. “What he wanted was for us to use our talents to help Kingston. This is the best way for us to do that. It’s a compromise that can actually work.” At least I hoped to hell it was.

  “Nate, are you willing to take sole responsibility as CEO?” Marsha asked, redirecting us.

  Nate looked at me. I couldn’t read him at all now. Was he going to protest?

  “Yes, I agree to Adam’s suggestion.”

  With a long exhale, I sank into a chair, trying to hide my shaking hands, hardly hearing the rest of the meeting. I must have agreed or argued as expected, because no one prompted me to do otherwise.

  When Marsha called an end to the proceedings, I gathered my things and headed for the door, hoping I could slip out before Nate cornered me.

  I only made it as far as the elevator before he caught up.

  “What the fuck, Adam?”

  I forced a smile as I stepped into the elevator and hit the button for my floor. “It’s best for both of us. I thought you’d be happy.”

  Nate followed me. “I don’t know what to think. Yes, objectively it’s the best decision, so I agreed to it. But I . . . just need to know that you’re not going to come back in a few weeks and decide to fight me about everything. I can’t be CEO if you’re constantly challenging me.”

  “Do you actually think I’m that much of an asshole?”

  Nate glared at me.

  “I’m not going back on what I said. I won’t be challenging you, not for the position anyway.”

  “I don’t suppose I could get that in writing?”

  “Wow, you really trust me, don’t you?” The elevator doors opened, and I stepped out onto my floor, not waiting for a reply. Once again Nate followed.

  I’d actually thought he’d be ready to forgive me, that my gesture would be enough to at least get him to look at me instead of through me. When we reached my office, I opened the door and motioned for him to come in.

  “How about we discuss it over dinner?” I asked as we entered my office.

  “Dinner?” He stared at me like I was batshit crazy.

  “Yes.”

  “And then back to your place for sex?”

  “I . . . Well, sure if that’s what you want.”

  “Are you fucking serious?”

  The tightness in my chest made it hard to breathe. I never expected him to sound so angry and bitter.

  “You think just because you did something good for Kingston I’m going to forget the other morning or whatever and do your bidding again.”

  Had I really blown my chance with him? “What’s your problem, Nate? I’m sorry I was an asshole, okay? I freaked out yesterday morning. I’m not the best at staying the night.”

  “My problem is t
hat you’re way too used to getting whatever you want. Has anyone ever said no to you?”

  “Yes.” I thought about that for a second. “My father. Probably plenty of others.” Though I couldn’t think of any.

  He snorted. “Probably not. You have no idea how to handle rejection or anything not going your way.”

  “Nate, I said I was sorry. For God’s sake, I gave up control of the company so—”

  “So I’d fuck you again or fall under your spell? This is just another bribe.”

  “No, I’m doing what’s right for Kingston, but I also hoped—”

  “Then you’re a fool. You can’t buy me with compromise any more than with money. I’m not going to bow down to you because you did something reasonable for once. I may care about people, but I’m not a pushover.”

  “Yeah, I got that.” He’d made that clear when we’d fucked.

  We both looked away then. Nate gazed out the window and I stared at the papers on my desk. The figures seeming to swirl and dance.

  “I just wanted you to talk to me again.”

  Nate whirled to face me, for just a moment, his expression softened, but then he shook his head. “I’m not sure there’s a point in talking. I tried to open up to you, to see if you could drop your front and be a real person with me, even after you intruded on my personal life, even after you threatened me with my secrets.”

  “I told you that was a mistake. I would never have followed through. I—”

  “I believed you. I guess I still do, but I let you in on my secrets. I shared them with you, dressed up for you, and then you walked out on me and—”

  “Nate, you don’t understand.”

  He walked to the window and leaned his head against it. “Yeah, I do. You took what you wanted, but you didn’t want to face the consequences. You’re so caught up in putting up the front of Adam Kingston the Great—cold, selfish, straight man—that you couldn’t handle the idea of what I made you feel.”

  “Look, I can’t—”

  He turned back to face me, hands fisted. “Let me finish. I’m fucking sick of you controlling everything.”

  “I didn’t dominate when we—”

  “This isn’t about how you act in bed.”