by Sara Schoen
She was always going to cling to Garrett and me. She'd remember how her mother gave her up, how Garrett and I took care of her, how she and I escaped, and how Garrett and I loved each other. There wouldn't be a day in her life when she wasn't reminded of this, and I would be the same.
One day, she may even blame herself, but there was nothing else she could do. I fought and people died, but it was Steve's fault. Steve killed those people when he took me, but I still blamed myself. There would be a time in Jessi's life that she would blame herself for calling Garrett “daddy” at just the wrong time and place.
She didn't know that Steve wouldn't like that. She couldn't understand the tension that had suddenly entered the room. Jessi was just a young girl, but a young girl that had become stronger and would grow up to understand it was just a mistake. One day she would understand and know it was unavoidable, or she would need us to explain it to her. That is if we made it out of this alive. Steve was still after me, and I had to find a way to separate myself from Jessi before he came back.
"Come this way, Anna," James said, breaking into my thoughts.
"Where are we going?" I asked, as I glanced at the police who were watching as we passed by. I knew they were in on it just by the way they looked at me, but I had no way to prove it. I'm sure if Steve was caught, he threatened to call them all out, and there was no way they were going to let that happen. I was curious how he convinced them to join in the first place.
"To my office, so we can talk in peace," James said, as he pushed a door open and gestured for me to go inside.
I told Jessi to sit down on the chair in front of James' desk so I could start to clean her up. I was about to ask for water when a wet drop plopped onto my shoulder. I turned to see James with a wet paper towel and a knowing smile. I nodded a thank you before I started to clean Jessi's face and hands. James put a gym bag on the desk, which was filled with a hairbrush, toothbrush, deodorant, and other toiletries.
"Thank you," I said, as I continued to clean Jessi up. Her face was clean as well as her hands, now I went to work on her hair. Eventually I put her hair into a braid and started to brush away the gunk that clung to the strands.
I handed the bag back to James, but he waved it away as he glanced at me. "Clean yourself up too. I can always buy other things," he said with a shrug as he sat at his desk.
I cleaned myself quickly as I raked my hair back into a ponytail and scrubbed away the grime, spit, and taste of Steve with the toothbrush. I was hoping I could get rid of the grime, along with the memories of the house. I just wanted to forget everything except Garrett and Jessi. When I was finished, I sat down next to Jessi. When we didn’t say anything, he got to the point of the conversation. "So, tell me how you escaped."
"It wasn't as planned, if that's what you're asking." I stated.
"I need it for the report, then we can talk off record."
"It was by accident. During dinner, Jessi called Garrett ‘daddy’ in front of Steve, and he got angry. He went after Jessi, and I got in the way. So as punishment, he abused me ‘til I bled and couldn't move. Then he went to look for her. Things were crashing to the ground and breaking as he searched." I chose my words carefully, but James gave a worried glance to Jessi.
"Garrett came to get me. He dressed me, gave me something to absorb the blood, and handed me a bag. Then he opened the door, knowing that when Steve couldn't find Jessi, he would turn his anger on Garrett and beat him until he couldn't move. Then he'd track us down." I saw James' knuckles turn white with anger as he gripped his pen, writing down my every word.
"We spent a night in the woods, since we ran most of the way here and only stopped to go to the bathroom. I carried Jessi when she got tired. When we hit a road, we saw a sign for this town, her home town that she remembered," I said smiling at Jessi. It made things a lot easier in the long run, and harder in other aspects, such as secrecy of where we were.
"Then I asked how to get home, and she pointed to the cop car, now we are here."
There was a long pause as James finished writing everything I had told him. Then he took in a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair roughly. "You said to absorb the bleeding? What did he give you?"
"A diaper," I stated bluntly.
"Do you want to see a doctor?"
"I'd like to. Jessi shouldn't need to, but she will need first aid," I said to ease his mind that Jessi wasn't tortured like I was.
"That's fine. Thank you for taking care of her for me..." There was a small pause as he looked like he was about to cry. "Please sign this, and I will copy it so we can get you to a doctor."
I nodded and quickly signed the paper in broken cursive that I hadn’t used since fifth grade. James sat up, taking the paper with him as left the room wiping tears from his eyes. I followed James with my eyes as he walked out of sight. I was about to look away as something caught my eye in the middle of the police station. There was a large copier machine making loud noises as something started to print from the bottom portion. Once it was fully printed an older looking cop came to the printer. I watched as the officer glanced at the paper then put it in the shredder and walked off. Before the paper was fully enveloped by the shredder I saw my picture saying 'found' at the top.
He clearly didn't want to tell others that I had been found.
Chapter 17
James had left us alone for over an hour while he worked on the formalities of our case. We took the time to finish cleaning ourselves up. I had to change Jessi's and my diaper because I was starting to feel chaffing from the over used padded material. We had been in the same ones since we escaped, and I could actually smell the blood and urine. No wonder James left the door open, we smelled awful.
I grabbed my backpack, along with James' bag of toiletries, and motioned for Jessi to come with me. There were police officers everywhere, but the question was which ones could I trust? I took a chance and asked a young cop directly across the office from us where the restroom was. I could see the soft smile forming on his lips and the sparkle of relief in his eyes. It was almost as if we were his children and he had been waiting for us to come home.
"Sure, I'd love to help you. You're going to go right down that long hallway and take a left. It will be the first door on your right," he said.
"Thank you," Jessi said for me, as she practically ran for the bathroom.
I walked slowly behind her and looked at the police officers surrounding us. I didn't see the rotund older man I had seen shredding my found poster. Although, I could see some people watching me out of the corners of their eyes. Something was wrong, and I didn't want to know what they had planned for me.
After following his directions, we found the bathroom. Jessi pushed the door open first to reveal a large room with multiple stalls in it and a few showers. Remembering the warnings Garrett had given me I locked the door. I'd rather be paranoid then back at Steve's being tortured and used.
"Jessi, go to the bathroom and take off the diaper."
"Yes, Mommy," she said, as she obediently followed my orders.
I turned on the shower and stripped out of my dirty clothes. I pulled out the bar of soap James had in his bag and started to clean off the dirt. I felt disgusting; half of it was because I was actually covered in dirt from the woods, but the rest was because of the horrible things Steve did to me.
Jessi came out of the bathroom stall with only her t-shirt on. I smiled at her, but it disappeared when I saw the fear in her eyes.
"Jessi, what's wrong?"
All she could do was point to the ground below me and that's when I saw the blood. I couldn't be sure if it was because I was still bleeding or it was washing it off. Either way, the sight caused me to mimic Jessi's fear.
"It's okay Jessi. I'm fine. Just wait a second and then I'll clean you up okay?" I asked as I finished cleaning myself and stepped out of the shower.
Jessi nodded her head and turned away from the bloody scene. I couldn't blame her, as I pulled at pape
r towels to dry myself off with. It took a lot longer than a towel, but after not showering for a few weeks I didn't care how long it took. I was clean for once and that's all I cared about.
I took Jessi's t-shirt off, she had cuts and bruises along her rib cage along with a few stray marks along her legs, but she was fine. She went to shower while I finished scrubbing the memories away.
When Jessi was finished I used paper towels to dry her off. She complained that they hurt, but left it at that. She was happy just to be clean again too, so she could try to wash the memories out of her mind forever as well. I didn't have the heart to tell her that it would never work, and if it did it was only temporary.
I handed Jessi the extra clothes that Garrett had packed for her along with a new diaper. We didn't have any underwear in the backpack, but this would work just as well for the time being. Jessi had just pulled up the diaper when a knock rapped on the door behind me.
"Yes?" I asked, worried it was an officer I didn't want to meet with.
"Is Jessi with you?" James' voice asked me through the door. His voice flooded relief through my system, and I relaxed enough to continue helping Jessi dress in a calm manner.
"Yeah, we just had to change the diapers and get cleaned off. We will be right out."
"Are you guys okay?"
How could I get in trouble in a six-foot by six-foot bathroom with no windows, and the two of us the only people in the room?
"Yeah, we are fine."
"Okay," James stated in a tentative voice.
I pulled on the change of clothes as fast as I could, but I still hurt. The old diaper was coated in blood. I had almost bled through the whole thing. I guess the good news is that the bleeding stopped, hopefully. I couldn't be completely sure since I refused to check until the pain had passed.
"Anna?" I heard James' voice come through the door.
"Yes?" I asked pulling my new shirt over my head.
"You said you were sexually abused and then ran out of the house right after, correct?"
"Correct."
"May I have the bloody diaper?" He asked, his voice clenched in disgust as he spoke the words.
I stopped dead in my tracks for a moment to ponder that, confused about why he needed or wanted the disgusting thing. It was coated with blood, who would want that? "Why?"
"DNA. We are hoping to get the DNA of the guy that did this to you. We can't do a rape kit since you cleaned up, but it could have transferred to the diaper since you put it on right after you were taken advantage of.”
"Umm...okay? What do I do?" I asked glancing at the bloody diaper.
"Open the door when you're decent and I will take care of it." He stated with a soft tone of voice that made me feel safe.
I pulled up Jessi's pants over the diaper and fixed her shirt. She smiled softly and gave me a hug, "Thank you, Mommy."
"You're welcome,” I said as I opened the door and let James into the bathroom.
He groaned slightly at the sight of the diaper. I didn't know whether it was because I had thrown it away or because it was so bloody. Placing gloves on his hands, James produced a plastic bag then picked up the diaper. Once he was done having to hold it he looked pleased.
"Now I can go give this to Paul to get this processed," James said, smiling at us and getting ready to leave.
"Wait, James!" I yelled as he was about to walk out.
"What's wrong?"
"You can't give that to anyone else. You have to take it," I stated forcefully, afraid of what would happen to it if one of the cops that worked with Steve got a hold of it. They would probably burn it and call it an accident.
"Why not?" James asked curiously.
"Because Garrett knows that cops in the other county work with Steve, and I think some people here do too," I said simply.
James slammed the door behind him and locked it before turning around to face me again. "Do you have any idea of the severity of the accusation you're accusing individuals of?"
"I do, but I saw with my own eyes one of the older cops pick up my found poster someone had made and shred it. He doesn't want the news that I've been found to get out, because if Steve is caught, then so is he!"
"There is not a cop in here that would go along with what he was doing to you!" he retorted in anger as spit landed on my face.
"You wouldn't just let it happen if it meant keeping Jessi safe?" I countered.
"I wouldn't let that happen to anyone if I knew about it."
"Then you're a good one, but not all of these men are. You have to see it..."
"So what if someone shredded your picture? Maybe it turned out wrong. You have no proof, so keep this accusation to yourself for now, okay? At least until there is proof," James said raking his fingernails through his hair.
"Okay, James," I agreed. It seeming to calm him down as he sighed and visible relaxed.
"Thank you. Now please go back to my office and wait for me there," he said as he opened the door and let us out.
We all walked out together, and he led us back to the office before leaving us alone. I watched him turn left and walk away, and I noticed he didn't hand the bag of evidence to anyone else as he walked. There were a few people that offered to take it for him, but he waved them off and continued on his way. The idea was stuck in his head now; he'd be alert. He needed to be, for all of us. Jessi slipped through my fingers and went to James’ office. She shrieked, causing me to race after her. When I found her, she was hugging a stuffed rabbit. There was a wide grin covering her entire face and allowed me to relax knowing she was safe.
"Mommy, this is Flopsy!"
"Flopsy, the bunny?"
"Yeah! How'd you know that!?"
"I must be magic, what can I say?" I asked with a smile.
"If you are magic you wouldn't have been hurt so bad," Jessi stated.
"That's not true. Even magic runs out, and I got you to safety," I explained with a soft smile. I hoped she would have some semblance of a normal childhood after this. If Garrett can block it out, why shouldn't she be able to?
"Then can you get Daddy out?"
"I think Daddy is already out and heading our way." He'd make it out; the question was if I'd ever see him again. If I did, I could only hope it would be under better circumstances than being trapped again.
"We're looking for him right now, and with any luck the information you gave us will bring him to us by this evening. You said he was traveling toward us right?" James asked, stepping back into his office.
"Yes, but he won't trust policemen. He knows that some of them in the other county are aligned with Steve, and he doesn't want to be taken back to his father."
"Then we will just have to try. You'll be staying with me tonight, Anna. I hope you don't mind, but until tomorrow we can't get in touch with your parents." James stated with a shrug, as he sat down in his chair.
"Why can't you get in touch with them?" I asked, fear roaring through me at the thought of Steve finding my parents.
"They are out, and we can't get in touch with them. We left them a message so we should be hearing from them soon. Who knows, maybe they are already on their way up." James said with a smile.
A knock rasped on the door behind me, sending Jessi and me slightly out of our skin. James didn't seem to notice, as he waved and told whoever it was to come in. I glanced to see the man that had shredded my picture. I felt my eyes grow wide as he spoke.
"Change of plans, James. We found a place for the girl to stay," the large man said in a gravelly voice that reminded me of Steve.
"Really, where is that?" James asked curiously, as he glanced at my face and saw the fear in my eyes. "Because I think she and Jessi should stay together, since Jessi will be asking for her."
"We found her a place at the hotel in town, and there will be guards posted in case this man she describes comes. She will be safe there," the man insisted.
I watched in horror as James nodded, "We'll see you tomorrow morning, Anna. I still have
more questions."
Jessi tried running to me to stop the men from taking me, but James caught her. His attempts to calm her down failed. She wasn’t ready to let me go, even with her father here for her. She would never be ready, but it was time to move on and let her live with her family, without Steve breathing down her neck.
Chapter 18
I glanced at James when the two officers roughly grabbed me. I silently pleaded with him to say something, anything. He couldn't let them take me. Even if he did trust them, I didn't. James opened his mouth and began to speak, but was shut down by the older officer before he could say anything. James' face fell slightly, as he couldn't find a reason to keep me with him, even though he was trying desperately.
"But Jessi needs her!" he yelled, as Jessi cried loudly.
"You can't watch both of them and keep them safe in case this man come back James. We are trying to think about both of them," an officer answered.
"Why not?"
"One officer for two people? Come on James, even you know that's not how this works. I understand the position you're in, but they don't need you to protect them."
"Maybe they don't need me, but they need each other, and I need Jessi. Just look at Jessi!" he yelled, as he pointed to his young daughter. She wailed loudly in protest, her eyes red with tears. James was right, she did need me, and I needed her. I ran to her when the officers loosened their grip. I wrapped her protectively in my arms and wished hard that Garrett was here with me. He would know how to calm Jessi down.
"Oh, it's okay, Jessi, It's okay," I cooed, as I pet down her hair and hugged her tight.
"Don't leave me!" Her voice cracked, and broke my heart to hear.
"I don't plan on leaving you anytime soon," I promised, as she cried on my t-shirt.
"You better take care of both of them then. I don't want to hear about how one escaped and how they are gone tomorrow," the older officer stated, as he glared daggers at Jessi and me. We had ruined his plan, and he was upset by it.