by Sara Schoen
"They will both be here tomorrow," James promised, as the police left his office.
"I expect them to be," the older officer said, with an underlying tone of distress. There was something going on, but as promised, I would keep the accusation to myself.
Why would they move me to a hotel? Couldn't I just sleep at the station? What was the difference between the hotel and the station? Why would they attempt to take me away from one of the safest of places around? It didn't make any sense. They were so focused on moving me, they wanted me to disappear again. If I disappeared, then their threat of getting caught vanished as well. The lower ranking officers, the new ones, still sought to protect the people and obey the laws. The older officers, the higher-ranking officers, were helping Steve in any way they could, even as small as shredding my poster. While I still didn't have proof, I knew it.
"Let's go home girls, now," James stated, pulling me from my thoughts. He seemed nervous and uneasy as he packed up.
'"What's wrong, James?" I asked, but he avoided answering the question.
"Come on," he gestured for us to follow him.
"What's going on?" I asked in a whisper.
"Not here. Just wait," James whispered, as he locked the office door. He slipped the keys in his pocket and led us toward the front exit.
We walked past the officers’ desks, each man either smiling or glaring at us as we passed. They made it obvious which side they were on. We passed the chief's office, and inside I could see the officer that had shredded the poster of me and wanted to take me to a hotel. He glanced up as we passed—his gaze was menacing, and I was relieved when we walked out of his line of sight.
The double doors swung open, casting the first real sense of freedom upon me as I felt the sun on my skin, the crunch of grass underneath my tennis shoes, and the smell of rain before it came. It was a fresh start, the only dark spot was Garrett. Where was he? Was he okay?
I don't know, and I'm not sure how long I can hold out not knowing. I needed to know if he had made it out of the house and was coming to me, or if he had been killed while we made our escape. An overwhelming sense of mourning crashed over me; I could have cost him his life. I needed to know if he was okay.
James opened the car door for Jessi and me. I let Jessi slide in first, so that she could take up as much room as she needed, and I got in after her. I shut the door lightly and watched as James paced for a moment before getting in. There was a distinctive slam as James got in and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"What's going on James?" I asked, as he regained composure and started the car.
"What's going on is that I've been blind this whole time!" James yelled, slamming his fist onto the steering wheel.
"Papa?" Jessi questioned through her now calming tears.
"Sorry Jessi, but I'm angry. I've missed the fact that some of the cops don't have the public in mind anymore. It explains why all the missing posters have vanished while I was looking for you, Jessi. I couldn't understand it. I thought it was a mistake, but I was the one that was mistaken."
"What about my posters?" I asked out of curiosity. "Was anybody looking for me?"
"Your town was. All of Harrisonburg was in a buzz, for weeks they searched and searched, then after about a month, they had to expand the perimeters of the search. All the posters we got disappeared rather quickly as I recall. All the new men and women put them up as they were sent, and then the next day it would be gone, so another would take its place only to disappear again later on."
"My whole town was looking for me? How long have I been trapped in that house?" I asked, finally able to get an answer to the question that had alluded me for what felt like years.
"Almost a whole year," James said.
"A year?" I repeated in disbelief.
"You were taken on August 26, 2012 at the park only a few miles from your home. It's now August 22, 2013, although I guess you escaped yesterday so it would actually be August 21," James stated, trying to become positive.
"A year—I lost a year of my life." There were no words to describe my feelings at the news, except that it was heartbreaking. I placed my head on the window, letting the sun's rays heat up the top portion of my hair as tears rolled down my face. How could I have lost so much time?
James stuttered as he tried to find something that would make me feel better, but gave up when he realized nothing could.
"What about Garrett?" I almost yelled, causing James to slam on the breaks and jerk the car from my sudden outburst.
"We haven't found him yet. If he came this way, then he is avoiding the police, but I do have good news. Upon your warning, and my realization regarding the corruption within the force, I shifted the people that are looking for him. Leaving a few good ones at the station just in case, but everyone out there now, as far as I can tell, has Garrett's best interest in mind."
"That's good. Thank you," I attempted to state aloofly.
"You really care about him, don't you?" James asked, glancing back at me in the rear view mirror. I could see the smirk on his face, as he seemed to already know the answer.
"What do you mean?"
"You haven't asked if we've found Steve. He's the one you should be watching out for, but instead you're worried about Garrett."
"Daddy!" Jessi said excitedly upon hearing the name and smiling at me.
"Yes, Daddy," I said to Jessi as she started to look around for Garrett to suddenly appear.
"That's another point. Jessi calls you mommy and daddy, which means you've kissed in front of her. We taught her that my wife and I loved each other and we kissed often because of it." He let the topic trail off from there.
"I do care for Garrett," I stated, to break the growing awkward silence. "I think I love him."
"That's an odd way to find love. Maybe it was fate—a horrible twist of fate that gave you something worth the pain," James said with a light chuckle, hoping that it would ease the mood of everyone in the vehicle.
"Are you going to start preaching about soul mates, fate, and destiny now? Because I'd rather walk then," I said, going along with his joking tone.
James laughed slightly as the car came to a stop. "Well then, I guess I will keep my belief in soul mates, fate, and destiny to myself!" he stated with a sense of feigned hurt, as he dramatically placed his hands over his heart and frowned. He opened the car door, and led the way towards the small brick house in front of us.
"Welcome home, girls! Who wants dinner? I'll make Jessi's favorite!" James chimed with glee, as he ran toward the house like an excited child on Christmas morning. James was happy to have his daughter back and to finally have a reason to smile again.
Chapter 19
Jessi pulled me through the house while James made dinner for us. Their house seemed small on the outside, but they used the space well to allow for room to move. There was only one floor, but it had a basement. The main floor had an open floor plan except for the bedrooms, which were down the hall from the kitchen.
Jessi led me to her room. It was filled to the brim with stuffed toys and musical instruments. There was almost no room to move in except for small areas of cleanliness. If we were still trapped in Steve's house, I'd have to clean this up before I was beaten or Jessi was. I flinched at the thought; I didn’t want to think about that.
"Jessi! Anna! Dinner's ready," James called from the kitchen, just in time to pull me out of the thoughts before they got worse. I didn't ever want to think of Steve or his house of horrors again, but I knew that wouldn't happen. This would be a scar in my life forever.
"Coming!" Jessi had run from the room, hungry since we hadn’t had food while we were running. Today would be our first meal in a day. That was one thing I could say positively about this experience, I had been fed well. I was fed breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and allowed to shower. Most stories on the news were about how malnourished the kids were. While I hadn't seen the doctor yet, I had a feeling that other than the beatings and sexua
l abuse, I was in okay condition.
I sat next to Jessi at the round dinner table as James placed hot plates of Jessi's favorite dish in front of us. She automatically reached for her bowl to start eating. I grabbed her hands so she wouldn't start eating before James had the chance to take a seat.
"You need to wait," I whispered to her when she whimpered at my sudden grasp on her hands.
"But I'm hungry, Mommy."
"I know you are, I am too, but—”
"Why are you both hungry?" James asked, taking the seat across from Jessi and placing utensils in front of us.
"We only had dinner the day we escaped. We didn’t eat after that until now.”
"Well then eat, don't wait for me," James stated with a smile and gesturing to the utensils that had been placed for us.
Jessi didn't pause and immediately dug the spoon into the pasta to shovel it into her mouth.
"Wow, how long as it been since she ate last?" James asked with a slight laugh.
"Must have been too long," I stated with a distant voice as I stared at Jessi.
She had managed to clean her plate within that short exchange James and I had. Then proceeded to ask for more with a wide smile. She had three helpings of dinner that night while James and I only had one; for some reason I just wasn't that hungry.
After dinner James led me downstairs to the basement, where I would be staying for the duration of my visit. There were two actual bedrooms in the house, but a total of three bedrooms because James had converted the basement into a guest room. Jessi had slept with her parents, until they were able to move the furniture from one room to the basement in order to make a closer bedroom for her.
"The bathroom is right there. The bedroom is here and the rest of the area is for your desires, I guess," James stated awkwardly, while pointing around the room.
"Desires?" I questioned the choice of his word.
"Television, gaming station, movie, whatever you want. Just in case you can't sleep or don't want to," James stuttered through.
"Is something wrong?" I asked as his eyes darted around the room.
"Something feels off, but I can't put my finger on it."
"What do you mean by 'off'?"
"There's something wrong," he stated.
"What's wrong?" I pushed the question.
"I really don't know. It's just a feeling. Whatever it is, it shouldn't do anything to upset you, it's just a feeling."
"But that feeling is what made Garrett believe cops were working on this with Steve, and he was right. I wouldn't doubt the feeling James, it could get someone hurt if you do," I said, hoping his thoughts would go to Jessi and his need to protect her.
James visibly shuddered and shook his head to force away a thought. He placed his hand on my shoulder and looked me dead in the eye. "Do you want to stay with Jessi and me tonight?"
"I would, but that may give Jessi the wrong impression," I stated honestly. Jessi needed to get used to being in her own house again, with her actual family, not with the one she made.
"I think for one night, we can make this work, and if you still feel the same about it tomorrow, you can stay down here."
"I will take you up on that offer." I heard something fall behind me, but as I glanced around I saw nothing out of place. James had taken out his nine-millimeter gun, out of reflex, and told me to stay put. He walked around the entire basement, but came back with nothing.
"I think you should stay with me tonight," James said, pushing me up the stairs toward the bedroom. I noticed that as he pushed me up the stairs he was continuing to scan the area.
Jessi was in there waiting for us to return upstairs on James’ orders. She had a big smile on her face when she saw me emerge from the hallway. "Mommy! You're sleeping with me tonight?" she asked, with excitement lacing her every word and a slight bounce as she spoke.
"Yes, but only for tonight. I wanted to make sure you can get used to your house again," I said, pretending not to notice that James had locked the basement door behind him after checking the hallway again.
"Not tomorrow?" Jessi asked, with a sad tone in her voice.
"No, you need to get used to being around your family again."
"But what about Daddy?" she asked, with tears welling up in her eyes.
"We'll be looking for him tomorrow, and with any luck, he'll be with us tomorrow too," James answered, before I could come up with a nice way to answer.
"We are?" I asked, surprised he was going to let us go looking for Garrett with him.
"Well, I have a feeling Jessi won't want to be without her 'daddy' forever. So if we can find him, it will put her at ease and give you your 'husband' back," James said with a playful smile curving onto his lips.
"He's not my husband!" I yelled.
"He is to Jessi. We join the search tomorrow, early in the morning. So get your sleep, and be prepared for a long day of searching,” he said, as he led us to the bedroom with a yawn.
There was an extra mattress for Jessi and me on the ground by James' bed, which Jessi instantly ran to and laid down on. I heard the springs on James' bed screech as he plopped down. As I lie down in the bed next to Jessi, I could hear him moving around attempting to get comfortable, moving pillows, the sheets, and at one point getting a sweatshirt. Jessi cuddled into my side and went to sleep in seconds, murmuring softly while I stared at the ceiling—something I had grown accustom to doing in Steve's house when I couldn't sleep. The rough texture of the ceiling was interesting, it seemed to drip down and dry, leaving stalactites.
The moonlight cast shadows on the walls; there was a soft light coming from under the door that at times would be blocked. Curiosity pulsed through me as the shadow continually paced in front of the door, blocking the light from passing through the small opening.
Then it stopped, and the doorknob twisted slightly until the lock clicked. The knob was released and the shadow moved on. Did I just imagine that? Why would they want to open the door? Who would be in the house in the first place?
If something, or someone, had tried to open the door it could be Steve, or Garrett, or just my imagination. Two of those were favorable, but it wasn’t worth the risk of checking. How could Steve find me in Charleston? I had passed at least three other towns on my way here—so how could he know this is where I went?
The hotel suggestion finally made sense. They had wanted me to be alone so that they could get rid of me easier. Steve had been told this is where I was and made a reservation. Steve didn't want Jessi, just me. The police chief had tried to take me away so that Steve could have his way with me and then make me suffer like he promised. I wouldn't go back without a fight because I knew I'd never make it out alive again. I shuddered at the memories, and pushed the thoughts from my mind as I drifted into an uneasy sleep.
***
James was right; we would be joining the search early. We were at the police station before the sun was up, but that didn't stop Jessi from bouncing around with excitement to find Garrett. It was like she had whole pot of extra strength coffee with shots of espresso it.
"We will be taking the road you two took into town and walking around there. You should be the best guides for that area, so at least we'll know where to go," James said hopping into the front seat of the blue and gray police car.
I guided him out of town the way we came in as he patiently waited for my directions. I led him past the school where we met the police officer, out past city limits, and past the five mile sign we had seen on our way in. James grew uneasy with how far we were going, but didn’t stop until I told him.
"Right here?" James asked.
"Yeah, this was where we first came out." There was a bent tree I remembered from walking in the woods. This was pretty close to the house if I remembered correctly.
"Why didn't you stay on the road? A policemen could have found you and brought you in?" James threw his hands into the air in frustration at my choice.
I glared at him through the rearview mir
ror, reminding him that some policemen would have taken us back to Steve. Others may have taken us to the police station, but we got lucky with the first cop and I had a feeling our luck would run out eventually. I didn't want to push our luck any more than I already had to, because it may run out.
Too bad for me, I was right.
Chapter 20
Jessi and I had traveled through the woods for hours with James as we attempted to lead him back toward the house. We never saw another person or animal during the search, because the police weren't looking this far out. They were searching closer to town, because Garrett should have already been through this way. If he hadn't made it this far by now, was there any hope he made it out of the house alive? I could see markings that Jessi and I had created as we ran through the forest. Without knowing what to look for, most people would pass by without seeing anything, because it was supposed to look like claw marks.
I had cut the markings into random trees as we went along, in order to lead Garrett to us. My fingers traced over the marks and lingered for a moment. Garrett would have marked them somehow if he came this way. Did he go the wrong way, or had he died?
I shook my head vigorously to shake the thought from my head. I couldn't start thinking like that, I had to believe that he made it out of that god forsaken house. Otherwise, I'd be alone, no one to understand what I went through. Jessi would hopefully forget as she grew older, blocking the memories.
Maybe she would start mistaking the memories for a bad dream, and James would do his best to keep her from reliving the horrible event. There was a chance she could grow up and be a normal child, but as long as I was with her, there wasn't that chance. I knew I would have to leave her eventually so she could have a chance of forgetting.
"What is that?" James asked from behind me, causing me to jump slightly at his presence. I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't heard him approach. That would have been dangerous if it wasn't James or Jessi.