My Blue Eyes

by Maxim Daniels

  We finally arrived at our destination. I checked in and did all the necessary paperwork. It took a couple of hours, but Dad and Troy stayed there through it all. When it was finally time to unload the van, I started to chicken out.

  “I don’t want to go here Dad,” I said. “Can’t I just go back home and go to the same Junior College as Mark? I can’t stay here. I don’t know anyone. I don’t have any friends here and you guys are too far away.”

  “Come on Darrel,” Troy said. “Matt will be down here in less than a month. You will make new friends. It’s college little brother!”

  I backed away from them, “I don’t care. I don’t need any new friends. I have plenty of friends back home. Maybe I will just go to school where Mary is.”

  Dad came towards me and placed a hand on both shoulders, “Darrel, listen to me. This is where you belong. This is where you are meant to be. Sure, Mom never wanted you going this far, but before she passed, she was at peace with it. You’re going to be lonely, but I can guarantee that once it is all said and done, these will be the best years of your life.”

  I shook my head, “Everything inside of me right now is telling me not to stay here. Come on Dad, please!”

  Dad left my side and motioned for Troy to start unpacking the van. “Darrel, you need to get your butt over here and start helping.”

  I begrudgingly headed over to the van and grabbed some things and led them to my dorm room. By the time we were done unpacking, I had most of the room filled with my things. They stuck around for a few more hours, and then it was time for them to leave. It was hard for me. I wished they would have stayed in a hotel or something, instead of driving back the same day.

  I watched them leave as I stood by the window of my tenth floor room. They both stopped and waved as they got in the van. Little did I know, this would be the last time I saw my Dad alive.

  He would die six months to the date of when my mom died. I guessed he finally got what he had been asking God for all this time. I will never forget the phone call I received from Troy when he told me. I wasn't shocked. None of us really were. I would have enjoyed spending some years with my dad after I graduated. He would never see me play for the school I would come to love.

  He made me promise not to come home until I graduated. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep that promise. I came back for three days to go over the same routine we had for Mom. There were nearly as many people there for my dad as there was for my mom’s. One person was missing though. Mary never made an appearance. It was probably better that way.

  Dad’s funeral wasn't nearly as depressing as Mom’s. He looked peaceful as he lied there in his casket. Whoever dressed him got everything right. My dad was a really handsome man and would be dearly missed. I think we all got a little comfort knowing Dad was where he wanted to be. Up in heaven with Mom. Now they both could keep a watchful eye on us all from a million miles away.

  Chapter 37

  My second semester of my freshman year went a hell of a lot better than the first. I was still depressed about losing my parents, but I think being hundreds of miles away helped. Matt wouldn't let me mope around all day. If we weren't practicing or lifting weights, we were partying. There really wasn't a lot of studying going on. I barely passed all my classes the first semester and the second went the same way. If it wasn't for Troy attempting to keep me focused, who knows what would have happened. He tried to call me practically every night. Most of the time I was gone, so he would just leave a message. It was the same message every time. “Hey little brother, it’s Troy. Just checking in on you and making sure you are keeping your shit together. Call me when you get a chance.” No matter how late it was, I would call him back. He didn't fuss about it much. He had accepted whatever parenting roll was required of him for me. He loved me more than brother. It was everything I needed to stay strong.

  He made it a point to come down to visit at least once a semester. He would bring Sharon and all his kids. It was always nice, and reminded me of home. Once my parents passed, the relationship with my other siblings became more and more distant. Even for Troy. Before Dad died, he had drafted a will. He split all of his possessions, retirement and savings between us seven kids. The house would become the breaking point of me and Troy’s relationship with them.

  Since Troy was the head of the family, he wanted the house to belong to me, so I would always have a place to come home to. My other siblings eventually agreed to it, with one stipulation. If and when I ever moved back, I was required to take out a mortgage on the house and pay the five of them back. Troy wanted no part of it. The house was appraised for ninety-two thousand dollars. Divide this between seven and I would owe each one of my siblings, besides Troy, thirteen thousand one hundred and forty-two dollars and some change. And, if I didn't move back, the house would be sold and divided accordingly. I’m sure my mom would have drafted a different will. She would have known ahead of time what would cause turmoil between her children. I’m positive she was in heaven “pissing vinegar,” as my dad would always say. I told Troy to sell the house, but he insisted on the arrangement. It was a shame he was the only one of my siblings who took care of the house. There wasn't much left in the house once they got a hold of the things. It sucked because my parents didn't raise us this way.

  Baseball was so intense and so much harder than I was used to. In high school, you would be lucky if you ran into someone throwing harder than eighty miles per hour. Every team we faced had someone throwing close to ninety. I didn't adjust well during fall ball, so I made it a point to work on my bat speed.

  There was this little exercise I invented when I was younger. I think it was the reason I had plus bat speed in high school. I would take a new tennis ball, and with a wooden bat, I would see how many times I could bounce it on the ground without messing up. There were two things this did. It built up the muscles in my wrist and forearms and also improved my hand and eye coordination. Going into the spring semester, I made it a point to do this every day, for an hour at a time. I used the heaviest bat I could find and would do it until my forearms burned and I couldn't take it anymore.

  Everyone on the team thought I was crazy. I couldn't tell you the amount of people who said it wouldn't make a difference. Well it did. During our fall season I hit a whopping .220 with no home runs and several strike outs. Too many to mention. In the spring, I hit .372 with eight home runs and a handful of strikeouts. I had also supplanted the senior shortstop, who unwillingly was forced to move to third. He would still get drafted, so all ended well. There was a lot of talk, if I improved again next year, I had a good chance to get drafted. I had a few scouts ask me if I was drafted, would I come out after my freshman year. I had to tell each of them no. Sometimes, MLB teams will take a flyer on someone in the late rounds hoping they could convince them to come out. It didn't happen with me.

  Matt became our starting second baseman midway through the year. He didn't hit a lick, but his defense was superb. He was voted the best defensive second baseman in the conference. Things were looking up for him. The whole off season, he decided to stay in Tuscaloosa with me to work on his hitting.

  My personal life outside of baseball was improving. Towards the end of the school year, I met a girl at a frat party who shared a couple of classes with me. I had never noticed her. It’s amazing I hadn't. She was a knockout. Five foot seven, blonde hair, big tits and an ass that went on for days. Our eyes locked in on one another from the crowded living room. She kept staring at me and every time she caught my eye, she would smile and ever so slightly take a drink from her plastic cup. It took me all night and a dozen beers to finally get the nerve up to talk to her. She was way out of my league, however, we ended up waking up the next morning at her place completely naked. It sucked not being able to remember most of what happened. It didn't matter. There would be plenty of times after that to remember. The relationship was strictly physical. Any emotion I had my freshman year was taken away by the deaths of my parents and not being w
ith Mary.

  I thought about Mary a lot, hoping she was doing well. She was like night and day the last time I saw her. Whatever they were doing with her, they were doing well. I could have sworn I had seen her at one of my games. We played a small school in Minnesota. I was under the impression big time division one schools didn't travel to small schools. We played a couple of other division one schools during the trip, so I guess that is why.

  My new flame’s name was Amy Middleton, and she resided from a small town in southern Alabama called Andalusia. It’s located a couple hours from the Gulf of Mexico. Her family had a house on the beach she invited us down to over the summer. Matt and I graciously accepted.

  I had never been to the ocean. I tried to be Mr. Cool as I ran the ocean and into the waves with all my might. I was greeted with a mouth full of salt water that made me gag. There are certain things that happen to a person in their lifetime that makes them say “I will never do that again.” Running full speed into the ocean with my mouth open is one of those things. To this day, I am always reminded of this by Matt. They all got a good kick out of it. Especially Amy’s friend Carly, whom she invited down for Matt to meet. She thought it was so funny, she ended up pissing herself. Thankfully, that took the attention away from me, as Amy so proudly shouted “Oh my God Carly you have pee running down your leg!” She laughed it off as she went in the ocean to clean it off.

  It was a good week. Nothing like having a paid vacation and the only money you had to spend was on booze. Also, having sex every night with the ocean waves in the background was cool too.

  Amy’s parents were pretty well off. They owned a very well respected car dealership in Andalusia. Her family was quite the royalty. Like I said, she was way out of my league. According to people who knew Amy, the guy who landed her would be set for life. This was the furthest thing from my mind.

  Matt and I returned to Tuscaloosa to continue getting ready for our sophomore year. Amy and Carly stayed behind in Andalusia, waiting to return once school started. They did come up a couple times. Matt and Carly got serious real quick. It’s funny how adamant Matt was about not getting serious with anyone the whole year because he was going to play the field. He would end up marrying Carly and living in Andalusia. The next three years of college, when you saw Carly, you saw Matt. They were inseparable. I will get into more of that later.

  The last part of summer, Matt and I participated in a summer league for college players. Needless to say, I tore shit up. The talent wasn't nearly as good as the upper echelon leagues. There were a couple of other leagues that were invite only. They were usually reserved for juniors and seniors, and other guys hoping to catch on with a major league club. Hopefully next year would be my year to play in that league.

  The whole state of Alabama was awesome. They literally played baseball all year long. It would have been heaven growing up here. My sophomore year was approaching and something would happen, changing my life forever.

  Chapter 38

  It was September of 1994, and we had started our fall season. There were high expectations for this year’s team and hopefully a trip to the College World Series. Coach made us take an oath at the beginning of the season to cut back on the drinking. We all agreed, even though he knew that was next to impossible to ask.

  I started off the season with a bang, hitting everything in sight. My tennis ball workouts were working great as my power numbers were off the chart. We had played close to eight games already when we had our annual charity game against a community college in Tuscaloosa. They might have been a junior college, but they were a powerhouse in the state. The event was named “Feed the Homeless” and all proceeds favored the local food banks in the area. Our students always came out in full force and usually turned the event into a drunken fest.

  We started off the game by raking every pitcher they threw at us. By the top of the third, we were winning comfortably twelve to zero. You could tell there was a little tension in the other dugout. The game was for charity, but they always wanted to beat us. We were just having fun and joking around. They took it way too serious. Last year’s game almost had a benches clearing brawl after one of our guys was beaned in the helmet.

  The top of the third started out like the previous inning, with their first hitter striking out. Our fans started to heckle them a ton and especially the next hitter. He was an incoming freshman at the school and was supposed to attend my school, but couldn't get in due to his grades. Our fans were definitely inappropriate as they started a derogatory chant. The public address announcer had to make an announcement about the behavior, which only caused the chant to get louder. It must have pissed him off as he lined a ball straight up the middle, almost taking our top pitcher’s head off.

  The next batter stepped up to the plate with a little less harassment. He took a couple of strikes before grounding a routine grounder to a perfectly placed Matt. I was cheating a little towards third, but still within double play depth. I sprinted towards the bag as Matt mistakenly bobbled the ball as he was pulling it from his glove. At this point, he should have taken the sure out at first base as the base runner was barreling towards second, where I would be waiting. Matt still thought we could make the double play as he threw a perfect laser to me on the outside of the bag about chest high. I could see the runner as I took the throw and he hadn't started his slide. I glanced the outside of the bag with my right foot and dug my left foot into the dirt while in the same motion releasing the ball. The runner waited to slide at the last moment and slid into my planted left leg. I couldn't avoid the slide as the force of his weight made my knee crumple. I could hear it pop, and the pain that ensued was extremely intense. Not being one who likes to show someone got the better of me, I pushed him off of me and attempted to get up. As soon as I put weight on it, I collapsed in utter pain. The runner got up and stood over me. I could hear him say something, but the pain was too intense to understand him. Matt saw this and all hell broke loose.

  Matt came in with a haymaker and connected, causing the kid to fall flat on his back. The dugouts cleared and punches rained down on anyone involved. A couple of scuffles broke out in the stands as the chaos ensued. When the brawl was finally over with, the game was called. This would be the last time this charity game was held. Coach was incensed. If you looked close enough, you could see smoke coming from his ears. I ended up getting the worst of the brawl. Unable to vacate, I proceeded to get stepped on with metal cleats and there wasn't a part of my uniform that wasn't torn. Once everyone had cleared out, our trainers were able to evaluate me. They expected a torn ACL, but it was worse. After further evaluation at the hospital, I was told I had a torn both my ACL and MCL.

  This was devastating news. I didn't know if I had a future playing baseball anymore. There have been athletes who have come back from this injury, but they were never the same. I was told these ligaments would never be the same. I would likely lose some motion and the likelihood of it happening again was high. Mobility is crucial for a shortstop, so there was a high probability I wouldn't be able to play it at a high level anymore.

  It was a dirty play on the runner. For one thing, the game was for charity. He didn't need to slide that late. A normal person would have just veered off to the inside and let the throw go through. He was doing what a runner on first is always programmed to do. If it’s a double play ball, you do everything you can to break it up. That is, if it’s an actual game. Our fans played a role in it too. They should have never heckled him the way they did. Maybe if he wasn't so pissed, he would have taken a more logical approach to the situation. Matt shouldn't have thrown the ball to me either. I couldn't blame him. He did what we have been practicing since we first picked up a ball. Our double play tandem knew no limits.

  The months that ensued would be non-stop physical therapy. With the injury happening towards the end of September, I was expected to be out for six to eight months. I was hoping to only be out for six months, so I would only miss a few games into the seaso
n.

  The news must have traveled fast back home as I received numerous calls, cards and letters. Coach Bradley was devastated when he called me. He had high hopes for me and expected me to play at the next level. He told me a story about how he had the same injury and it forced him to give up his dream of playing in the pros. Coach had made it to Double A before suffering his injury. This was not exactly the news I wanted to hear. He told me things were different now. They had ways to make the ligaments stronger and I should be back to action in no time.

  Troy was devastated too. He came down the next day and tried to give me a bunch of pep talks. I appreciated him being there. If Mom or Dad was alive, they would have surely come down. Dad probably would have went to beat the shit out of the other kid’s dad. We talked about that and had a good laugh.

  He stayed for a few days and went back home. Whenever we got together, I never asked about Mary. This time was different. I guess I was just a little emotional at a possible career ending injury. Troy told me she called him a couple weeks before the injury to see how everyone was doing. Troy told her I was doing fine. He said at one point, he thought she was crying on the other end of the line. He didn't know why. He said they talked for about an hour and she wanted him to tell me to keep doing what I’m doing and stay focused. It was just like her, wanting me to achieve my dreams. I asked how she was doing and he said as far as he knew, she was well. She told him she was attending a local college and was hoping to become a nurse. I thought that was a good profession for her. Maybe she could concentrate on the mental aspect of patients and be able to help them more due to her personal experiences. He asked her if she wanted my number, and she said no. She told Troy I didn't need any distractions.