Renewing Hope (In Your World #2)

by Jennyfer Browne

  We stood there looking after one another, feeling the awkward tension in the air as the silence grew. Finally Benjamin let out a nervous laugh and took a step back toward his buggy.

  "Well, I promised my mother to visit this evening. I should go before it is too late," he said and shuffled toward his buggy.

  "Thank you, Benjamin, for everything," I called out, smiling after him as he waved to us.

  "It is my pleasure, to see you happy and well. I will see you in a day or two, Nathan?"

  "Not tomorrow," Nathan called out, grinning.

  I heard Benjamin's laughter and knew they were sharing in an earlier conversation.

  "I will be sure you are left alone tomorrow!" he called out as he turned his buggy in the drive.

  "Do I want to know what that meant?" I asked when I felt Nathan guide me toward the house. He chuckled and leaned in to peck me on the temple.

  "Just that I would like to spend some time with my wife tomorrow, that is all," he murmured and walked me into the house, his arm tight about my waist.

  "We'll see how long Fannie lets us spend time alone," I joked.

  "They will understand. Jonah has said he will not expect us tomorrow," he whispered, pulling me up the dark staircase.

  "Are you hungry?" I breathed when his fingers glided over my arm when we reached the bedroom.

  "Later."

  "Bath?"

  "If you join me."

  Nathan's lips trailed over my cheek to my lips as I turned on the water to the bath, his hands moving over my body as if to memorize it. I pulled away for a moment to check the temperature only to find his arms wrapping around me from behind, his mouth attacking my neck with renewed energy. Turning in his arms, I worked his clothes free of him, pushing him toward the steaming tub with a laugh.

  "You are really dirty," I said with a smile against his lips.

  "I told you," he chided while he fingered the hooks to my dress.

  "Get in and relax. I will go get towels and come back," I whispered and worked my way out of his arms to go grab fresh towels and to give myself a moment before I gave in to his desire. I wanted it too, but I could also tell he was sore and tired from the long day.

  When I stepped back in a few minutes later, he was comfortably propped against the side of the tub, eyes closed, with just his head above the water that now threatened to overflow. I turned the water off, smiling when his eyes slowly opened to watch me in the room. I lit the lanterns by the door, conscious of him tracking me back and forth.

  "You let the water get too high for me to get in with you," I whispered, sitting alongside the tub by his head.

  "I can easily drain it," he replied and moved his toe toward the drain plug.

  "Stay like that for a bit. It will help with your sore muscles," I said and let my hand trail across his submerged shoulder. My eyes wandered, his body clearly visible in the water. My fingers worked their way up his neck and into his hair, cupping his head gently as I watched him relax in the soothing water.

  He closed his eyes with a sigh and leaned his head into my wet hand.

  "I would not have thought I could feel so at ease with my wife beside me while I bathed. I have no worries when you are with me," he mumbled, a contented smile playing on his lips as he leaned a little harder into me.

  "You are nice to look at, Nathan. I'm a lucky wife," I replied, wagging my eyebrows at him.

  He opened his eyes wide, laughing low in his throat.

  "Do enjoy what you see, Kate?" he asked, the mischief clear in his voice when he sat up straight to wrap his arms around me quicker than I could pull away.

  "Nathan! You'll slosh water out!" I exclaimed when he shifted to cause waves in the bath.

  "Only if I do this," he said and pulled me in with him, fully clothed. I cried out and laughed in surprise at feeling the water soak into my clothes. Only my feet remained out of the tub, as well as my head that reached up to his in a heated kiss.

  "We will need to clean this up," I breathed around his lips.

  "Later," he whispered, his mouth moving once more to my neck. "How is it that you taste better every time I kiss you?"

  I giggled at the stubble on his chin as he moved along my neck, trying hard not to move so as to keep from splashing more water out of the tub. I didn't want to spend precious time after his bath cleaning up. I wanted a repeat of our time last night in bed. Nathan groaned against my collarbone and tipped his head up to look up into my eyes, the tender expression in them making my heart pound.

  "I cannot get enough of you," he whispered. "I want to take you to our bed and stay there all night worshipping you."

  I was more than happy to grant him his wish, splashing water everywhere as I scrambled out of the bathtub, Nathan not far behind. I peeled away my wet clothes there on the flooded floor as he dried himself off, and was turning to grab a towel for myself when I felt his arms wrap around me, the towel enveloping me as he did so.

  His mouth against me once more, the counter at my back, Nathan's hands slowly dried me, my hands idly playing in his wet hair. He stood before me in only a towel, eyes travelling over my naked body as he worked. When he dropped to his knees, I stood frozen before him. The towel dropped from his hands, allowing them to trace up my sides and over my shoulders before fingertips glided down across my front.

  I let out a stuttered breath when he traced my nipples, his lips following immediately after.

  Nothing felt better than Nathan's touch.

  He hummed against my skin, fingers continuing down to spread out across the expanse of my stomach. He hummed again and pulled away to watch his hands move.

  "I love to feel your skin against mine. Promise me we will always sleep skin to skin," he said, his voice deep and rough.

  His arms wrapped around me then, his mouth covering mine in a passionate kiss as he drew us toward the bedroom. We collapsed onto the bed and he entered me eagerly. He groaned into my lips and pulled away to watch as he thrust into me again and again in need. I knew he was close, his breath ragged as he grunted and whispered my name over and over again, lifting up onto his elbow to move a little deeper, a little more urgently. My hands glided across his body, feeling the muscles along his hips move with purpose. I loved to feel him move; it was like experiencing a beautifully carved statue come to life.

  His mouth found my shoulder, lips running along my neck until he groaned and froze against me, buried deep and tight against my body so that I could feel him tremble and tense. The heaviness of him only lasted a moment before he rolled us over until I was on top of him, his heart hammering against my breast as he caught his breath. He licked his lips and let out a soft moan, wrapping his arms around me in a warm embrace.

  "I could do this every day forever," I whispered and snuggled into him, letting him stroke my head lazily as we let our bodies slowly relax.

  "I look forward to forever with you, Kate. I want to enjoy everything with you," he whispered.

  I listened to his heart slow down, and his arms relaxed against me as he slowly drifted off, the long day finally catching up with him. I pulled the covers up over us as the chilly air made me shiver, and watched my husband in the dim light from the lantern in the bathroom.

  I would have to get up eventually and clean up our mess, but for the moment I wanted to simply lay there and watch as Nathan slept with a contented smile on his face, his body relaxed, and his dreams hopefully pleasant as he lay beneath me. So much of our life had been dramatic and in many ways painful. It was nice to have this time of ultimate bliss.

  I knew we had a lot to face as a young married couple.

  A long winter.

  Daily life in our world that was still so very new to me.

  Struggling crops in the spring.

  Sean's friends out there still.

  None of that would trouble me.

  As long as Nathan and I had each other, I could face anything that came our way.

  We had each other.

  We had love
.

  We had faith.

  And that would see us through.

  CHAPTER 20

  In my old life, sleeping in meant not eating breakfast until it was almost lunchtime.

  They called it brunch.

  If you didn't wake up with the sun, you simply started your day later; the day went on without you. You stayed up a little later perhaps, to finish that load of laundry in the dryer. You threw the dishes in the dishwasher to do later. You waited to go to the grocery store.

  It was the most valueless part of my life then.

  Just getting by in order to find something better.

  Something that had meaning.

  Waking up before the sun became that meaning.

  What used to be thankless chores were now a measurable part of my life.

  And every task had value.

  Waking up to Nathan's heavy arm as he snuggled against me had meaning.

  Making love to my husband had meaning.

  Living this life had profound meaning.

  The Amish didn't believe in brunch.

  We believed in living every moment and giving thanks for those moments. Even if it was over the laundry that needed to be put on the line before noon in order for it to dry in time before you went inside for supper.

  Every day of this life was fulfilling.

  Nathan and I found our rhythm in this new life. And with each morning as we woke up together, I felt more in touch with my place as Mrs. Fisher. Nathan and I seemed to know just what the other needed, from a soft kiss as I made breakfast, to the unspoken team work in building our new barn, to the quiet need to be one as the cold settled outside of our blankets at night.

  We lived very well together.

  And once we had the rudimentary beginnings of the stalls for the horses built, we were able to add to our daily list of chores. Horses taken care of, house tended to, fall crops salvaged. I walked over the hill every morning to help Fannie and Jonah with our cows, and Nathan joined us for breakfast.

  Soon, with the onset of winter, it would be more difficult to go visit every day.

  I hoped that Nathan would be able to sell his cows to the Snyders. We could handle a few. We could not handle the dozen. And Fannie and Jonah had their own worries. So as we made our way to the Yoders on a blustery Thursday, hands full of pies and treats for after Naomi's wedding, I thought about the fields that Nathan had let rest because they were too much for him.

  "Nathan?"

  "Yes, my wife?" he asked, smiling down at me.

  I smiled and shook my head at his charming mood.

  What was I thinking of just then?

  Oh yes. Fields.

  "This is serious, Nathan," I said, pretending to scold him.

  He fought to hide his smile in a serious pout, but failed at it. Instead he looked like he was sucking on a hard candy, which was just as distracting when I thought of how he looked when he sucked on other things.

  "I am sorry, Kate," he murmured, trying to be serious for a moment.

  I looked out over the barren field that lay between our house and the Yoder’s. It was large, and looked to have been abandoned for some time.

  "This is your field, right?" I asked, nodding to where we walked.

  "It is our field, yes," he corrected and nodded toward an outcropping of trees far on the other side of the far hill. "It extends to the trees there. It is about fifty acres on this side."

  I looked back the way we had come. Our house was obscured from the hill but I could make out the other side of his fields behind us.

  "And back there?" I asked. "How many acres do you have total?"

  He looked at me curiously and shrugged.

  "About eighty total. Why?" he asked simply.

  Had it been any other man, I might have bristled at why he asked. But with Nathan it was genuine curiosity that he asked me why.

  "How much did you plant this year?" I asked instead, a plan forming in my head.

  He frowned and looked ahead.

  "Only about five acres. But I plan on doing more in the spring. We will be fine," he said, his voice more determined.

  "That's not what I meant, Nathan," I said softly, drawing his eyes back to mine. "I had an idea that could help."

  He was quiet for a moment, perhaps afraid of what I could be thinking.

  "Go on," he replied finally.

  "Well, in the old days, they had sharecroppers," I started, watching him to see if he was following. He nodded for me to continue.

  "The land got used, and the owner took a percentage while the people planting and tending took the majority of the profits," I explained, and smiled when I saw his mind working hard behind his eyes.

  "So," he said and paused. "You think we should offer up the land we cannot maintain for a small fee in order for someone else to grow crops?"

  I nodded, wondering if maybe this went against some code.

  He was quiet as we walked, looking out over the land.

  "It is an interesting idea," he murmured, and then leaned in to kiss me on the forehead. "You have very good ideas, my wife."

  I laughed and rolled my eyes at him.

  "You like saying that, don't you?" I asked, smirking.

  "I love to call you my wife," he whispered, and even in the cold breeze, I felt myself warm considerably from his heated gaze.

  "I am glad, my husband," I said. "Because I love it when you say it."

  His smile broadened and we walked happily the rest of the way to the Yoders, every moment together making us more and more comfortable as we learned how to please the other. We had learned much in just a week or so.

  I wondered what more we would learn this winter. Alone.

  I smiled and winked at my husband as we parted ways at the porch steps, Nathan going out to help the men with benches for the basement while I helped the ever present Sarah Jensen and Mrs. Yoder with laying out the food for the inside buffet.

  The house was teaming with people, it being too cold to hold the wedding outdoors.

  It would be cramped quarters and we would have to eat in shifts.

  "At least this is the last wedding of the season," Sarah said, sighing as she wiped at her brow.

  "This is a late one, right?" I asked, curious to learn more of my world.

  "Just for this reason," Mrs. Yoder explained. "It is too cold to do much else than Sermons. Naomi reduced her invitation list to accommodate. But Zachariah did not ask for much, he simply wishes to marry."

  Both women smiled at that and continued with shuffling food around the tables in the kitchen. I stepped in to carve one of the three roasts resting on the counter. Even with a short list of invited guests, there was enough food in the kitchen for about a hundred people.

  Sitting with Nathan in the warm basement, it was obvious there were nearly that many people wedged into the large room. Perhaps because of that, Benjamin kept the Sermon short, allowing Nathan to lead in song before we were presented with the husband and wife.

  Naomi and Zachariah made their way through the tiny aisle to the front of the room, her eyes already bright with emotion. Zachariah looked nervous, as most young men seemed to in that moment. But as soon as they were announced, both of them seemed to beam with the excitement.

  I understood the feeling well.

  Especially when Nathan came up and walked with me out of the basement and up the stairs. I was shocked to find the kitchen cooler than the basement with so many people in attendance. But soon those people were making their way through the house, plates in hand and finding any surface to sit on or lean against. The basement was full, and the happiness of the newly married couple spread through those of us staying for the meal.

  It wasn't until I was storing the leftover foods that I noticed the young woman who had taken lemonade to Benjamin during our barn raising. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she helped gather dishes from the house, her smile timid as she interacted with the people around her. There were few people from her town due to
the cold weather; she must have felt a little out of place.

  And I was curious.

  Maybe even a little devious.

  As she drew near to me in the kitchen I turned and smiled toward her, her eyes widening a bit when she noticed me. She slowed down, walking with care as she drew close.

  "We have not yet met," I said, smiling and extending my hand. "I am Katherine Fisher."

  She looked sheepish as she took my hand and looked down toward her feet.

  "I know," she whispered. "You are Benjamin's friend."

  I nodded, still smiling at how nervous she seemed.

  Was I like this when I first arrived?

  "He is more of a brother than a friend, really," I said simply.

  She blushed and nodded.

  "I am Judith Snyder from Friendship."

  "Welcome, Judith. Would you like to sit with me while we let the men talk? Aside from my sisters, I do not have many I can sit and speak with, and my husband looks busy," I said, glancing at Nathan, who was in deep conversation with an older man and Benjamin.

  "That is my father," Judith replied and walked with me to the front room. "He is interested in your husband's cows."

  I smiled and pretended to be surprised.

  "Oh really? That would be nice. It is a lot to handle for the winter with just the two of us," I said casually, settling us near the corner of the room so we could talk.

  She looked around the room, at the groups of women as they talked quietly, some with knitting already out, others catching up and laughing amongst themselves.

  "So," I said, startling her as she turned to look at me once more. "You are from Friendship. I have never been there. Have you lived there all your life?"

  She relaxed some and nodded.

  "I was born there. Father and Mother were some of the first to move there, along with the Ropps," she said. "But I hear you are new to the Way."

  I smiled and nodded.

  "I am."

  "You have settled in so well. And found a nice man," she said and let out a quiet sigh.

  I was itching to ask her about Benjamin, but I held back, wanting to find out a little more about her first. She seemed nice enough. Maybe a little quiet, just as I was with strangers. So I opened up to her.