All The Little Moments

by G. Benson

  “How long now?”

  Anna’s eye actually twitched.

  Sensing Anna’s patience waning, Sandra held out an armful of plates. “Set the table, please, Miss Ella.”

  Ella nodded, grabbing the plates and walking into the dining room, still talking a mile a minute without noticing that no one was listening.

  Anna let out a deep breath and took another long gulp of wine as the oven sounded.

  Pulling the lasagne out, Sandra didn’t try to hide her amusement. “You were so much like her.”

  The knife in Anna’s hand sped up as she chopped cucumbers and tried to smother a groan.

  “You were. You could be incredibly introspective and closed like she can be; then there were days your father and I considered muzzling you for five minutes of silence.”

  “Gee, thanks, Mum.”

  “Well, it’s true.”

  Anna drizzled over dressing to touch up the salad. Not taking her eyes off her work, she tried to sound casual. “I miss Dad, Mum.”

  She sensed her mother tense behind her. Silence rang around them, the only sound coming from Toby as he smashed blocks against each other.

  “I do, too, honey.”

  “He won’t look at me.” She leant on the bench to check on Toby, who was under the table and oblivious to the conversation. “Or Toby.”

  “He doesn’t know how to do this.” Her mother’s voice was tight. “He, just…he…”

  This was a subject Anna knew she should not have pushed. Finally turning around, Anna pulled her mother into her arms when she saw the tears threatening to spill. For a minute, they rocked back and forth. Beneath her hands, her mother felt skinnier, frailer.

  “Sorry.”

  Sandra shook her head against Anna’s shoulder, then stepped back, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. “No, I’m sorry. He’s hard, at the moment. Hard to be around.”

  One of the many reasons Jake had put her in this position. Choosing not to say this, Anna rubbed Sandra’s arm.

  “Come here whenever you need, Mum. Or take the kids. They love sleepovers with you, and they used to do it at least once every two weeks.”

  “Back to their routine. It might be good for them.”

  Anna winked. “That, and you love having them there.”

  “Of course.”

  Ella burst back into the room. “Nurse Lane’s here! Nurse Lane’s here! I saw her car! Nurse Lane’s here!”

  “Inside voice, Ella.”

  Ella stage-whispered, “Nurse Lane is here!”

  At the sound of his sister’s voice, Toby had run around the kitchen bench and now stood looking at them all with wide blue eyes.

  “Okay, when the doorbell rings, you may answer it. But,” Anna yelled after her as Ella bolted from the room, “ask who it is!”

  Toby wavered and fell onto his nappied bottom. The whirlwind that was Ella was too much for him to try and focus on as he followed her too quickly with his head, feet tangling when he tried to turn, and then lost his balance. Surprised blue eyes blinked at Anna, and then he burst into a giggle.

  Shaking her head, Anna picked him up. “You’re a dork, Tobes.”

  She handed him a piece of tomato he’d undoubtedly smear everywhere, kissing his cheek before plopping him back on the ground. Tiny feet carried him out of the room, one hand squashing the whole piece of tomato into his mouth.

  The doorbell rang.

  Ella yelled, “Who is it!” while wrenching the door open at the same time.

  “Ella, it’s not effective if you open the door before they even hear the question, let alone answer!” Anna called out.

  “Nurse Lane!” Ella squealed.

  “I wouldn’t bother, Anna.”

  As usual, her mother was right, and Anna turned back to putting the finishing touches on the salad. The sound of Toby’s feet pattering on the tile as he ran back in made her turn. He reached up to her, eyes anxious.

  Sandra chuckled behind her. “Oh, Tobes. Did you follow your sister and see a stranger in the hallway?”

  He looked from Anna to the direction of the front door, then pointed. “El!”

  “She’s not a stranger; you met her the other day. Let’s investigate, shall we?”

  As they moved towards the front door, they heard the quiet sound of Lane’s voice, followed by Ella’s louder and more excitable one. Toby pointed the entire way, showing her where to go.

  “Are they out here, Toby?”

  Face serious, he nodded, still pointing.

  They rounded the corner to see Ella literally hanging off Lane, pointing to all the new writing and drawing on her cast. Kids had started to draw over what was already there.

  Nodding at what Ella was saying, Lane looked up, grinning under her lashes at Anna.

  As Lane’s smile hit them at full force, Toby stilled in Anna’s arms. Right there and then, Anna realised that this woman was going to have them all under her spell if she wasn’t careful.

  Lane mouthed a “hi” and Anna waved her fingers.

  “It’s Lane, Tobes.”

  Barely looking up from her cast, Ella said, “Nurse Lane, Aunty Na.”

  Winking, Lane nodded. “Yeah, Aunty Na. Nurse Lane.”

  “Oh, my mistake.” Anna looked at Toby’s face as he stared openly at Lane, mouth slightly parted—he looked comical. “Hey, Ella Bella, fairly certain you didn’t finish setting the table.”

  “But I did.”

  “Glasses? And cutlery? Toby’s cup and your Transformer glass?”

  “Um...”

  “Scoot, missy. Lane’s here for all of dinner.”

  Sighing loudly, Ella turned to Lane. “Excuse me, Nurse Lane, I’ll be back.”

  With an amused purse of her lips, Lane watched her go before looking back to Anna. “You know, she has a lot of you in her.”

  “Don’t you start.”

  Lane looked at Toby, who was still staring at her, wide eyed. “Hey again, Toby. I like your shoes.”

  Instantly, Toby kicked his feet against Anna’s thigh and the new Velcro do-ups lit up along the soles. Finally grinning at Lane, he pointed down to his shoes. “Na!” Toby stared at them for a second, leg held out and still pointing, then looked back to Lane.

  “Aunty Na got them for you? Spoilt boy.”

  At Toby’s adamant wriggle, Anna put him down. He clung to her hand with one of his own tiny ones and jumped, a motion he couldn’t quite manage without holding onto something. When his shoes lit up again, he squealed, pointing to them.

  “How cool, Toby!”

  Letting go of Anna’s hand, Toby turned and ran, giggling as he disappeared into the kitchen.

  “Where on earth is he going?”

  “He has the attention span of a gnat. Who knows where?”

  “At least he liked me this time.”

  “He’s a smart man: he figures a lady out first.”

  “Wonder where he gets that from.”

  “Whatever. Hi, by the way.”

  Closing some of the distance between them, Lane held the bottle of wine. “Hey, here.” She hovered a minute, smiling softly at Anna.

  They both took a small step towards each other, and Anna almost closed her eyes at the sensation of Lane’s breath on her lips. Despite wanting to kiss her, Anna forced herself to pull back.

  “Later,” she whispered.

  Lane’s eyes lit up like Toby’s shoes.

  There was no way Lane could stay, or that could happen. But that didn’t mean Anna wasn’t going to abuse some boundaries, now that Lane was here.

  “Ready to meet my mother?”

  Lane’s eyes widened. “Sure.”

  “Your voice always that high pitched?”

  “Shut up.”

  Laughing, Anna led the way to the kitchen,
where her mother was cutting up the lasagne in the pan.

  “Mum, this is Lane. Lane, this is my mum, Sandra.”

  Wiping her hands on a tea towel, Sandra walked around the bench.

  “Nice to meet you, Mrs Foster.”

  Sandra stopped in front of Lane, grinning, and wrapped her in a hug.

  Sometimes her mother made Anna wince. However, she smiled at Lane as she caught her eye over Sandra’s shoulder. Lane’s hand awkwardly patted Sandra’s back for a moment before she pulled away.

  “Call me Sandra. Lovely to meet you, Lane. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  Avidly avoiding Lane’s smirking look, Anna added another time to the list of the moments her mother drove her crazy. She hadn’t spoken of Lane that much, but Ella must have been blurting out details. Or maybe Anna had said a thing or two without meaning to. But definitely not a lot.

  “I hope it’s all good.”

  “You helped fix my granddaughter’s arm, of course it’s all good. And you got my daughter out of the house.”

  “Okay!” Anna interrupted, clapping her hands together. “How about we eat? Lane brought over an amazing red, Mum. Would you like a glass? I might stick with white.”

  After successfully getting everybody moving and mock-glaring at her mother, Anna led the way to the dining room. Predictably, Ella insisted on sitting next to “Nurse Lane.” Anna wrestled Toby into his high chair next to her, so she could help him eat when needed. Instantly, he sunk down into the seat, trying to hold his foot out for Lane to admire his shoe. He kept kicking it against the leg of the chair and yelling a nonsensical word, making sure everyone acknowledged it lighting up.

  Anna regretted buying those shoes.

  Ella dominated most of the conversation, and thankfully, Toby discovered a love for lasagne and dug in with his spoon and hands, mostly distracted from his shoes.

  In between Ella’s chattering, Sandra questioned Lane without even trying to hide what she was doing.

  “So, Lane, where did you grow up?”

  Lane looked from Toby, who was again pointing at his shoe. “Yeah, Tobes, they’re really cool.” She took a sip of wine, measuring her answer. “I grew up here, though I moved from the US when I was ten.”

  “Anna mentioned that. What did your parents do?”

  “Mum.” The look Anna threw her mother could silence even Ella, but Sandra was unfazed.

  Lane chuckled at the exchange. “My father’s an accountant, my mum stayed at home with us kids, but then worked in my dad’s company, helping in the office.”

  Toby, who had managed to get lasagne sauce in his hair, threw his spoon on the floor, grinning as he waited for Anna to pick it up. Handing it back to him with a look that clearly said this wasn’t a game, she considered wiping him down. In the end, she thought better of it, figuring she would just be doing it all over again at the end of the meal.

  After dessert, Sandra stood up and started clearing dishes. Anna and Lane attempted to help, but Sandra waved them away and instead enlisted Ella, who joined in with only minor grumbling.

  Anna grinned across the table at Lane, sipping her second glass of wine.

  “Welcome to my crazy world.” It wasn’t all a joke. Did Lane really know what she was getting herself into?

  “They’re adorable.”

  “Na!” Toby hit his spoon against his plastic bowl, which he’d turned over on his high chair table.

  Anna poked him gently in the stomach. “Time to clean you up, little man.”

  “No.” Toby’s little face scrunched up and his eyebrows pushed together.

  Lane gave a snort of laughter at his petulant expression, which Anna ignored. She poked his side again. “No?” she asked playfully.

  Giggling now, he still managed a, “No!”

  “I’ll be right back, Lane. Grab another glass of wine if you want.” Anna left Lane playing with Toby’s shoe, which he had just remembered; the sight made her smile.

  In the kitchen, her mother was elbow deep in suds and Ella stood on a footstool quietly, doing her best to dry the dishes.

  “Working hard, Ella Bella?”

  “Grandma’s telling me about how when you were little, you were just like me.”

  Anna squeezed between them to run water over a cloth. “Is that so? It seems to be the theme of the evening.”

  With a nudge, Sandra said, “Well, your influence is making it more prevalent.”

  Resisting the urge to roll her eyes again, Anna dropped a kiss on Ella’s head and started to walk back out. Her mother’s voice followed her. “Lane’s lovely, by the way.”

  “Thanks, Mum.”

  “Nurse Lane is cool, not lovely, Grandma.”

  “Right, sorry.”

  When she re-entered the dining room, Toby was relaxed and quiet on Lane’s lap, playing with the fine chain around her neck. He had settled right into her arms, little legs draped over hers.

  “He got fidgety, I hope that’s okay.”

  “Of course.” Anna didn’t want to word how much the sight made her want to melt.

  The glass next to Lane was still empty. “Didn’t want another glass?”

  She shook her head. “I’m driving.”

  Anna squatted down next to Lane’s chair, surprise-cleaning Toby’s face, which was the only way to manage it. If he saw the cloth coming, he bolted as fast as his little legs could take him. She quickly cleaned his hands, and, by that point, he was a squirming mess, sliding off Lane’s lap and running to the living room to his toys.

  Shoes lighting up as he left, Lane watched him go. “He really does look like you. It’s uncanny.”

  Anna smiled softly, still squatting, hands resting on Lane’s thigh. “He looks like Jake. People really did confuse us for twins.”

  A sigh left Anna’s lips as Lane ran fingers through her hair, the look in her eyes soft as she asked, “Would it be weird to say I wish I could have met him?”

  Anna leant her chin on top of Lane’s thigh, too, looking up at her. “No. I think he would have really liked you.”

  The door to the kitchen swung open.

  Anna stood bolt upright, taking a step back from Lane, but Ella noticed nothing out of the ordinary as she walked in.

  “It’s not a school night—can Nurse Lane stay and watch a DVD with us?”

  Ella, who was giving her with a perfect puppy dog face, added, “Please, Aunty Na?”

  Turning to look at Lane, Anna was greeted with a mirror of the look that was on Ella’s face. “Please, Anna?”

  Anna threw her hands up. “There’s no way I can compete with the power of those two looks combined. If Lane would like to stay for a movie, she’s more than welcome.”

  “Yay! I’ll go pick, you put Toby to bed.” Ella bolted off.

  “Yes, ma’am.” When Anna turned back to Lane, she was grinning. Anna shook her head, exasperated. “Did you like how she asked you in the end?”

  “And told you to get Toby to bed.”

  “She’s lucky she’s cute.”

  “Like her aunt.”

  “You really are good at smooth talking.”

  “You make it easy.”

  “See!”

  Holding her hands up to call peace, Lane leant back in her chair. “Are DVDs a Friday night tradition?”

  “Yeah, we watch Disney and get hopped up on ice cream once Toby’s asleep.” Anna bit her lip. “Really, Lane. You don’t have to stay.”

  “Are you kidding? Ice cream and Disney. You better hope Ella and I leave you space on the couch.” She stood up, grabbing Toby’s bowl. “You heard Ella, get your nephew into bed.” She winked and walked out.

  Sighing, Anna was realising there could be a small tradition of being ganged up on starting. In the living room, she scooped up Toby and hung him, giggling, upside down for Ell
a to kiss goodnight. She did the same for her mother and Lane in the kitchen, grabbed him a bottle and headed up the stairs. As she changed him, Anna murmured quietly and dimmed the lights.

  In his cot, bottle to his mouth, Toby’s eyes were getting the drunk look Anna had discovered was incredibly endearing. Anna rested her hand on his chest and watched him slowly drift off. When she went to pull away, his chubby hand gripped her wrist and held it in place, fingers clinging to her. A lump formed in her throat, and she stayed until he was fast asleep, unmoving until his hand relaxed and slipped down to the mattress. The only sound in the room was his steady breathing.

  Downstairs, Lane and Ella sat on the couch, Ella firmly in the middle with Lane on one side. Both had ridiculously giant bowls of ice cream on their laps.

  Lane shrugged at her and took a bite. “What? Your mum served them.”

  As if summoned, Sandra entered in her coat, another bowl of ice cream in hand. “Alright lovelies, I’m off.”

  “You’re not staying for Disney, Mum?” Taking the proffered bowl, Anna looked suspiciously at Sandra, who busied herself doing up her buttons. Normally her mother stayed to enjoy the quiet time with Ella and Anna.

  There was a smirk playing at the edges of Sandra’s face, and her eyes flicked from Anna to Lane and back again. “Uh…I have some, paperwork to do at home. You girls have fun though.”

  Anna gave her a quick kiss. “Mhm. Paperwork?”

  Managing not to look at Anna by using a cuddle from Ella, Sandra nodded. “Oh, yeah. Paperwork. Mountains of it.”

  “Sure, Mum.” There was no paperwork Sandra could have, as far as Anna knew. “Thanks so much for dinner.”

  Not even attempting to extract Ella’s arms from around her neck, Sandra instead blew a raspberry on the girl’s neck to incite giggling. “No problem, leftovers in the fridge.”

  Lane put her ice cream down and stood up, holding out her hand. “It was so lovely meeting you, Sandra. Thank you for dinner.”

  This time, when Sandra pushed Lane’s hand away to hug her, Lane looked more relaxed.

  “It was delightful meeting you, Lane.” Her mother stepped back and waved to the room. “Enjoy your DVD. I’ll see you over the weekend, my girls.” And then she disappeared.

  Subtlety had never been her mother’s strong point. Anna took a spoonful of ice cream, looking at the two on the couch. “So, what did we go for?”