First and Forever: Heartache Duet Book 2

by McLean, Jay

She shrugs. “I’m not like you. I don’t have one goal set for the rest of my life. There is no end game for me. But there are two things that I know I want, and the first is to find a way to get out of this shitshow of a town.”

  “And the second?” I ask.

  With a sigh, she shakes her head. “I gotta get to class. I’ll see you around, okay?”

  * * *

  Today’s pep rally is the same as all the other ones prior. We watch the cheerleaders’ new routine, and then Coach calls us all up one-by-one while we listen to the cheers of our peers. The only thing different with today’s is that Ava is here.

  In the stands.

  Standing out.

  Out of place.

  She doesn’t clap or shout or do much of anything. Still, I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her. “She promised Trevor she’d make the most of her last semester,” Karen says, waving her pompom all over my face.

  I swipe her arm away, my eyes finding Ava again. “So that means pep rallies?”

  “School spirit, you know. Rah! Rah! Rah! Goooo, Wildcats!”

  “Huh.”

  Karen laughs. “Did you think she was here to support you?”

  “No.” Maybe.

  “You sure look butthurt for someone who doesn’t even want to be friends with her.”

  My eyes snap to hers. “She told you that?”

  Karen nods, a twinkle in her eye.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I can’t.”

  “Uh huh.”

  Coach calls out Rhys’s name and Ava smiles, claps for the first time. “See that?” Karen says. “She dumped his sorry ass, and they became better friends.” She pats my head as if I’m a dog. “You should be more like Rhys.”

  I roll my eyes. “You should be more like Ava.”

  Karen laughs. “That’s one uphill battle I’ll never climb.”

  I face her.

  She shrugs. “There’s only one Ava in this world, Connor. So, the ball’s in your court.” She smacks my ass. “You’re up.”

  She’s right. Jesus, she’s fucking right. And even though Ava was the one to break things off, or to ask for a clean break, she had far better reasons—reasons out of her control—than just the simple fact that she couldn’t be around me because it was “too hard.” I suck. In so many ways. For so many reasons. “I don’t know how to fix it,” I admit.

  Karen shakes her head, points to Coach. “No, you’re up.”

  “We don’t have all damn day, Ledger!” Coach yells.

  Oh. I run up and stand next to Rhys but keep my eyes on Ava. She’s smiling, but she doesn’t clap like she did with Rhys. Instead, she cups her hands around her lips and mouths, “Boo!”

  Chapter 10

  Ava

  Surprisingly, the first couple of weeks of the new semester fly by. I don’t know if it’s the sudden change in my attitude or the fact that I stopped giving a shit about what people say or think about my family, but whatever it is, it’s made a difference, and I’m sure as heck not complaining.

  I make it to first period earlier than everyone else because I don’t want a repeat of Miss Salas’s shaming, though I don’t think she’d do it again after my little rant to Miss Turner in one of my sessions. Soon enough, more and more students start to file in, and there’s a buzz in the air as if something big has happened. And as much as I’ve tried to keep up with all the school news, I’m clearly out of the loop.

  From my seat in the back of the room, I see Oscar walk in with a few guys from the team who aren’t in this class. Then Rhys shows up with a bag full of something that he hands out to the guys. He sends a few of the girls in the room a smirk, making them weak at the knees, and then winks at me. I roll my eyes. Then Connor walks in, and as soon as he does, the room erupts with cheers. The team sprays him with bright orange Silly String, and Oscar lifts all 220 pounds of Connor off his feet, chanting his name, and what the actual fuck is going on?

  I send Trevor a text.

  Ava: Did we make the playoffs?

  Trevor: Who?

  Ava: The basketball team.

  Trevor: Ava! I don’t know. I don’t even go to that school. And your best friend is a co-captain. So is your ex. Ask them.

  Ava: I don’t want to. :(

  Trevor: Then leave me alone with your dumbass questions. I’m trying to earn a living.

  Ava: You’re grumpy.

  Trevor: You’re stubborn.

  Ava: Once upon a time, you were my favorite brother.

  Trevor: Once upon a time, my sister grew the hell up and stopped being such a brat.

  Ava: Fine. Love you. Bye

  Trevor: Love you, too. Shithead.

  “Okay, everyone!” Miss Salas exclaims, walking into the room. She dumps her stuff on the desk and continues, “Everyone who isn’t part of the class, leave immediately.”

  Oscar puts Connor back on his feet, and the other boys leave. Connor takes a moment to remove all the Silly String from him and the floor—with the help of a couple of girls in the class—and trashes it all. He finds an empty seat in the front of the room, and I bring up my phone again, send him a text.

  Ava: Um. What?

  I watch Connor sneak his phone under the desk and read the message. He looks behind him, searching, and finds me in the rear of the room. When Miss Salas’s back is turned, Connor rushes to the empty seat beside me. “What’s up?” he whispers, his mouth so close to my ear, I can feel the warmth of his breath.

  “What was that about?” I whisper back.

  He pulls away, offers a shrug.

  I tap his leg with mine. “What just happened?”

  Shaking his head, his eyes forward, he says, “It’s nothing.”

  “You’re so full of shit.”

  Connor chuckles.

  I tap his leg harder.

  He reaches down under the desk, puts his hand on my knee and squeezes. “Knock it off!”

  I ignore the butterflies swarming in my stomach when he shifts his hand higher, his fingers on the inside of my thigh. “Connor,” I whisper. “Tell me!”

  He moves his hand another inch, and my breath catches. He must notice because he turns to me with a smirk. Biting down on his lip, he quirks an eyebrow. Damn, whatever happened has made him cocky. I narrow my eyes, ignoring the repercussions of having my phone out on display, and type his name into the search bar.

  Connor’s chuckle sends the butterflies soaring.

  I read the summary of the first site that shows up.

  Connor Ledger of St. Luke’s Academy, NC, named All-American…

  I gasp. Audibly. And turn to Connor, my smile unconfined. I lean into him, whisper in his ear, “Congratulations.”

  His throat moves with his swallow as he reaches over, takes my phone from me. Under the table, his thumbs fly over the screen. When he’s done, he places the phone back down in front of me.

  Notes app open.

  Cursor blinking.

  Five words:

  I did it for you.

  Chapter 11

  Connor

  Trevor wanted me to tell you congratulations for making All-American Ava writes on a notepad, sliding it on the desk between us during class.

  I’d gotten to the room before she did and placed my bag on the seat so no one else would take it. By the time she walked in with another note from Miss Turner, it was the only available spot.

  I write:

  Tell him I said thanks.

  Okay.

  Then I take the notepad and set it in front of me, glancing up to make sure the teacher isn’t watching. I can’t make any mistakes leading up to playoffs.

  I write down:

  1.

  2.

  3.

  And turn to Ava. She’s looking at me, eyebrows drawn, and I can’t help but smile. I move in closer to her, our arms touching, and fill in the empty spaces.

  1. You’ve been wearing your hair down lately, and I think it’s because you know I like it like that. True or
false?

  Ava scoffs, circles false.

  2. You’ve been coming in late to class after seeing Miss Turner. Is everything okay?

  Ava takes the notepad from me and writes on the bottom half of the page:

  I’m just going through a lot at the moment, and she’s helping me work through it all. In a good way.

  I smile when I read her response, claiming the notepad back. And, just to add extra drama to our silent conversation, I turn my back to her, arm shielding her view, and fill in the last number:

  3. I, Ava Diaz, forgive one Connor Ledger for being an ass… for being selfish and stupid in saying he couldn’t be just friends. Just because he’s seen me naked in the past, it doesn’t mean that he only ever wants to see me naked every time we’re around each other. Because friends don’t get naked together. They just don’t. Unless, of course, I, Ava Diaz, want to get naked in front of Connor Ledger. Then Connor Ledger is all for it. And I, Ava Diaz, will never, ever, EVER bring up the fact that Connor Ledger got a half-chub during one of Miss Salas’s long-winded speeches thinking about me naked. True or False?

  I slide the notepad over and watch Ava’s eyes move with every line she reads, her smile getting wider, ending on a breathy giggle. She takes the pen from me and crosses out everything after me being an ass, then circles True.

  Looking up, Ava’s already watching me, her face only inches from mine. My eyes explore hers, searching for a semblance of hope. “I want you to look at the person sitting next to you,” Miss Salas announces.

  Ava and I share a smile.

  “Get used to them,” she adds.

  And Ava’s breath warms my flesh when she lets out a silent laugh.

  “Because that’s going to be the person you work with on your next project.”

  “Here we go again,” Ava whispers.

  Miss Salas adds, “And you’re going to be spending a lot of time with them.”

  Smirking, I break eye contact to write down:

  Naked?

  Under the table, Ava pushes her leg against mine. I clasp her knee, squeeze once. And keep my hand there.

  “Who here has heard of podcasts and YouTube?” Miss Salas asks, and the room fills with a mix of groans and giggles.

  I shift my hand higher up Ava’s thigh and squeeze again. “This is all you,” I tell her.

  “Yes!” she whispers. “Time to get the boobies out.”

  Chapter 12

  Ava

  “Which ones would you like?” I ask Mom, sitting at the kitchen table with pictures sprawled out in front of us. She wanted to rearrange the photographs on the wall of her room so she could see them clearer from her bed.

  “This one,” she says, pointing to one of Trevor and me standing by his car. “And this one.” It’s another one of us—this one when we were younger, standing out by the pool at our old house, Trevor’s dark skin such a contrast against mine. She lifts it up to her nose, inspects it closer. “I took this one.”

  “You did,” I say, trying to hide my excitement. “You remember taking it?”

  “Yes.”

  The front door opens, and Trevor walks in.

  “Is that your brother?” she asks.

  “Yep.”

  “Trevor!” she calls out.

  “Coming, Mama Jo!” He drops his tools and runs into the kitchen, his expression worried.

  “Look!” she says, pointing to the photographs. “I need one of you and Amy.”

  The smile that overtakes me is instant. So is Trevor’s. “I’ll send some to Ava for her to print out.”

  “Good,” Mom says, nodding.

  I tell him, “Dinner’s in the oven. Another ten minutes.”

  Trevor goes to the fridge for a beer while Mom says, “Wait here.” She gets to her feet slowly and goes to her room.

  While she’s gone, Trevor and I share a look of amazement. “She’s doing so well,” I whisper.

  Trevor nods. “Just don’t get your hopes up, okay? She’s done this before.”

  “I know.”

  “I mean it, Ava.”

  I press my lips tight, nodding, and wait for Mom to come back in. “Here,” Mom says, placing a black velvet box on the kitchen table. She pats Trevor’s shoulder. “For you.”

  “Me?” he asks, eyes wide.

  Mom nods as she sits back down.

  Trevor opens the box, his brow dipping when he sees what’s inside. “Is this the ring Dad got you?” he asks her.

  Mom offers another nod. “For Amy.”

  “I’m not asking her to marry me yet,” Trevor says through a chuckle.

  “One day,” Mom tells him, her lids heavy. She’s getting tired, and she’ll need a rest soon. “This one,” she says to me, pulling another photograph of Trevor and me toward her. “I like this one a lot.”

  My phone rings somewhere in the living room, and I ask Trevor to grab it for me while I collect the pictures into a pile. “It’s Connor,” he tells me, walking back into the kitchen.

  “Why would he be calling?” I murmur, more to myself than anyone else.

  I take my phone from Trevor and answer, “Hello?”

  “I got into Duke!”

  “What?” I squeal, my heart racing, elation rushing through my bloodline.

  “What?” Trevor whispers, motioning to the phone

  “Connor got into Duke!” I shout, grasping the phone to my ear. “Oh, my God, Connor! You got into Duke!”

  “I got into Duke,” he repeats, breathy, as if he can’t believe it himself.

  “Where are you?” I laugh out, unable to contain my exhilaration.

  “I’m outside.”

  “He’s outside,” I tell Trevor, pleadingly.

  “Go!”

  I rush out the door, barefoot and bliss filled. Connor’s walking down the sidewalk toward my driveway, and I run. I run so fast and so hard and so free, and I crash into his chest, my arms around his neck. “You got into Duke!” I scream, my pride coming out in the form of laughter.

  “Holy shit,” he mumbles, holding me to him, his arm around my waist while his other hand cups the back of my head. “I can’t fucking believe it, Ava.”

  I release him and land back on my feet. “Well, fucking believe it because it’s happening!”

  He grasps his hair, looking up at the sky. “This is insane.”

  “No, it’s not!” I tell him, tugging on his arm. I lead him back to my porch and sit us down on the steps, my grin splitting my face in two. And it doesn’t matter what we are now, or what we were in the past. Dreams are dreams, and no one and nothing should ever take away the beauty of achieving them. I’ve shed so many tears lately that it feels so much more when the tears come from joy. “God, Connor,” I cry. “I’m so proud of you.”

  Connor sits with his elbows on his knees, the letter still grasped in his hand, head down as he tries to settle his breathing.

  “Are you okay?” I laugh, wiping the wetness off my cheeks. I know how much this means to him. It’s one step closer.

  He looks up at me, trying to bite back a smile. “It’s happening,” he says. “Holy shit, it’s actually happening.”

  “It’s just getting started,” I tell him, shaking his arm. “You’re going to go all the way! I can feel it in here.” I press a hand to my chest. “Everything you’ve worked for… everything you’ve ever wanted.”

  He licks his lips, shakes his head. A beat of silence passes as his expression falls. Reaching up, eyes locked on mine, he fingers a strand of my hair. “Not everything, Ava.”

  My heart strains against the meaning behind his words, and I push back the sudden ache. Because this is his moment. His time. And it’s bigger than he and I and all the what-ifs we carry. I rear back, plaster on a smile with little effort. “What did your dad say?”

  “He doesn’t know.”

  “What?”

  He blows out a heavy breath. “I was—I just opened the mailbox and saw the letter and read the first few words and… and you were t
he first person I thought to call.” He swallows, his breaths short. “And I know that’s probably bad considering what we are, but—”

  I cut in because I don’t want this moment to lead to questions about us, “Wait, so you only read the first few words?”

  He nods.

  I take the letter from him and pretend to read. “Dear Connor Ledger. We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to join our wait list—”

  “Shut up! It does not say that!” He grabs the letter from me, his eyes wild as he reads it. “Jesus, Ava.” He palms his chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  I giggle, shove his side with mine. “Go tell your dad.”

  Connor shrugs. “He’s sleeping.”

  “Connor!” I laugh out. “I’m sure he won’t care if you wake him.”

  “I’m scared,” he says through a chuckle.

  “Of what?”

  “I don’t know,” he admits, rubbing his eye. “I’m nervous to tell him.” His gaze moves to mine. “Will you come with me?”

  I get to my feet. “Sure.”

  Taking my hand, I let him set the pace from my driveway to his. He unlocks the door and stands in the middle of the living room. “Dad! Wake up!”

  “Connor?” his dad calls out from his bedroom.

  “Yeah. And put on some pants! Ava’s here!”

  I laugh under my breath.

  A minute later, Corey appears, his eyes half squinting from having just woken up. He scans Connor’s hand linked with mine for only a moment before looking up at Connor. “What’s going on?”

  Connor seems to stand taller as he gives his dad the letter. “From Duke?” Corey mumbles, then reads it aloud, “Dear Connor Ledger. We are pleased to inform you that…” And that’s as far as he gets before his eyes widen, and his entire face lights up as if sleep is ancient. “Oh, Connor!” And then his expression falls, and he covers his face, his shoulders shaking with his cry.

  “Aww.” I pout up at Connor and rub his arm. “I’m going to go.”