by Ali Vali
“That kid has a lot of miles on her, and she sure as hell isn’t as idealistic anymore.”
Aidan caressed her cheek before she opened her door. “We’ll see.”
The only response Berkley gave her was a laugh before she reached for the pizza box. They ate sitting close to each other, cuddling close beneath a blanket Berkley had brought along, talking about the scenery and how Berkley enjoyed the area, Aidan wanting to give her a little time for what she’d said to sink in. The sun had gone down when they returned to the base.
A vehicle pulled up next to them as Aidan got out of Berkley’s Jeep and a young man hopped out of the driver’s side. “Commander, sorry to disturb you, ma’am, but you have some visitors at the gate. Captain Jepson wanted me to tell you he’s going to escort them to the mess hall for coffee.”
“Thanks, Sergeant.”
“Expecting someone?” Aidan asked.
“No, but it’s my lucky week for visitors. It’s probably some more guys wanting to impress you, Captain, so if you’re not tired you can come with me and I’ll make the introductions.”
They walked since they were so close, and Aidan almost tripped over a chair when she saw the man seated and talking with Will. There was some graying around his temples but it didn’t take away from how handsome he was. Next to him sat a petite redhead laughing at something Will had told her. The woman had to be Berkley’s mother, though there was no resemblance to her. That couldn’t be said of Corbin Levine.
The naval pilot still retained that rigid posture the military had perfected in him, and when he turned and looked in her direction Aidan found the genetic origins of Berkley’s appearance. They shared the same strong jaw, straight nose, tall build and blue eyes.
“Aidan, this is my dad, Captain Corbin Levine,” Berkley said after she hugged both of them, “and my mom, Maggie.”
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you two. Berkley’s told me so much about you over the years, I feel as if I know you.”
“How about we get acquainted, then?” Maggie said when Corbin just stood silently next to her looking at Berkley.
“Come on, Mrs. Levine, I’ll get us a cup of coffee.”
“Take a walk with me, Cletus,” Corbin finally said.
“I’d ask what you’re doing here, but I have a feeling I’ll be wasting my breath since you’d never give Will up.” She pointed him in the direction of the parked planes once they were outside, knowing how much he loved admiring them. “Are you here to make sure I don’t go, or to make sure I don’t screw up the opportunity to go?”
“I’m here so that you don’t make the decision for all the wrong reasons.”
“I don’t follow.”
He put his hand on her shoulder and jerked her to a stop. “You’re damn right you don’t. I raised you to be a leader no matter what the situation, and up to this one moment I’ve never been disappointed in you.”
“You’re upset that I’m not going, then,” she said and let out a long breath.
“I didn’t raise you to hide in a little pond. You’ve been the shit around here, but it’s time to decide if you want to continue to be the big fish or move on. That goes for the Navy and for all the other reasons you’re here. I’ve gotten a slew of calls about this and the guys who make the decisions want you, so it’s not all about the little woman trying to get you on that boat. I just thought it’d be better coming from me.”
“I don’t mean to be disrespectful, Dad, but back off. If you’re on a recruiting mission give the spiel to someone else.”
He stopped and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you done, or do you need to add a fuck you to the end of that?”
“I’d never do that, but accept that we handle things differently and I know that the bit about the little woman has more of Mom written all over it than you.”
“You think whatever you like, Cletus, but your mama isn’t the only one interested in your happiness. Life kicks you in the ass sometimes, and it’s how you get up and fight back that makes the difference.” He starting walking again and put his hand on her shoulder. “You tell me right now that you aren’t the best the Navy’s got and I’ll leave you alone.”
“And if I tell you I’m not?”
“I’d tell you that you’re lying to your father, and if you’re okay with that, then I’ll guess I’ll have to accept it.”
“Thanks, Dad, I’ll keep that in mind, but it’s not going to change how I feel. The big fish has a little more swimming to do. Eventually the right assignment will put me back in the field, but for now I’m happy here.”
“Before you say that and they pass you over, take a little more time, Cletus.” Her father walked out of the hangar to Berkley’s Jeep and crossed his arms over his chest. “For once don’t give a damn as to what everyone else wants from you. You do what you think’s right and the rest will fall out if not this time, then the next. The world’s become a dangerous place, so there’ll be other chances.”
“You flew here just to tell me that?” Berkley laughed, but it was more sarcastic than humorous.
“I flew out here because you’re my kid and I love you, and because an old friend asked me to help do some training. Do you honestly think I’d push you into doing something you don’t want to? Your job is to bury me with honors, not the other way around.” He placed his hand on the front of the Jeep. “If this girl clouds your mind that much, then skip this go-round, but don’t use that as an excuse to not do something you want so bad. Hell, I can taste it.”
“How do you know that?”
“Same way I knew you weren’t going to throw up on me when you begged me to take you on that roller coaster when you were six.”
“Sorry, Dad, but I’m getting tired of people doing my thinking for me.”
“Let me add my nickel to that pile, then I’ll take your mother and get the hell out of here if you want.” Berkley laughed and relaxed a little at his words. “Taking what this girl’s offering you is what I think will make you happy, but that’s not what you should be thinking of now.”
She leaned against the vehicle and copied his pose. “So what should I be thinking about?”
“When I was a young obnoxious pup in that white uniform, I only thought about one thing.”
Berkley laughed knowing what kind of response she usually got in the uniform. “How many girls you could pick up?”
The crack earned her a slap on the back and his deep, heartfelt laugh. “Yeah, besides that.” He moved closer and put his arm around her. “It’s what I had trained for all that time and I was ready to go because it was my duty, and why I’d signed up.” With a squeeze he released her and turned so they were facing each other. “Unless you feel exactly like that, you tell them to shove this assignment right up the ass. If that’s what you do decide, I’ll be happy to back you up.”
“A little part of me wants this, but it’s smaller than the part of me that thinks I’m not ready to balance what needs to be done and who I’ll be doing it with. And if I have any doubt, I know I should turn it down.”
“Who’s king of the mountain here, Cletus?”
Standing before her now was Captain Levine, not her father. “Me, sir,” she didn’t hesitate to answer.
“Ain’t no fucking higher mountain in the world, Commander, so don’t talk about not being ready. You’re my kid and I trained you to keep your word and do your job.” He put his hand on the side of her neck and softened his tone. “Just know that I’ll be proud of you no matter what.”
“Thanks, Dad.” She put her hand over his and knew he was sincere by the peaceful appearance of his face.
“Then take your time and give Captain Sullivan an answer you can live with.”
“Are you sure you can live with my answer?”
He nodded and stood to start their walk back. “Like I said, Cletus, you make this decision for you and only you. If you do then I’ll be a happy son of a bitch because I’ll know you made it from your heart and your gut. Ei
ther way, you make me proud.”
Berkley nodded in return and they walked the rest of the way in silence. Inside the mess hall her mom stood and joined her dad when he announced it was time to turn in and Berkley’s guest room was waiting.
After she said good night, Aidan accepted Berkley’s offer to walk her to her room. “You okay?” she asked when they were finally alone.
“My father’s here to give me a trip to the woodshed, Corbin Levine style.”
“Is this a regular thing, or does it have to do with the evils of blondes in the Navy who want to date you?” Aidan said as a joke.
“One of the things you and my father have in common is the strict code of duty you uphold for the position you have. He came to remind me that I’m here by choice and it’s time I remembered that.”
Aidan stopped Berkley by grabbing her forearm at the front door of the building. “The last thing I want is for you to come with me out of a sense of obligation to him, the Navy, and especially me.”
“You should be happy. He’s trying to make me see what I’m passing up if I turn you down.”
Aidan didn’t say anything but led Berkley to her room and shut the door. “I want you to listen to me, okay?” She stood close to Berkley but didn’t touch her. “The reason I came was for me first, and you don’t have to say anything after I’m done. Leaving you was the worst mistake of my life, and I intend to make it right. You and I are meant to be together, because if we weren’t, this feeling of something important missing from my heart would’ve disappeared by now. I don’t know if that’s the case for you, but I know what I need to be happy, and I’m going to keep trying until you either agree with me or tell me there’s no chance.”
“What if I tell you there isn’t?”
“Then I’ll have to accept that and live with the certainty that the rest of my life will be manageable but incomplete.” Aidan still didn’t move to touch her, but looked directly into Berkley’s eyes. “What I can’t accept is your agreement to come with me unless you’re absolutely sure that the piece of your heart that makes you the best in the sky is there and beating strong. If I can’t have you, I’ll try to learn to live with it, but I’ll take comfort in knowing you’re somewhere doing something you love. I wouldn’t survive it if you don’t come back.”
“The best answer I have is to tell you that I’ll sleep on it. I know you don’t have a lot of time so I’ll let you know in the morning.”
Before Berkley turned to go Aidan stopped her again and kissed her. “Would it be too much to ask for you to think about the rest of what I want?”
“I’m not sure about the rest, Aidan. It’s flattering to know how committed you say you are, but it’s a lot of history to overcome.”
“Not all the history was bad, though.”
“No, it wasn’t, and it’s what made that missing part you talked about impossible to recreate.” Berkley smiled after she said it. “That’s the best I can give you for now.”
“That’s good enough.” Aidan lifted Berkley’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “The thing I have going for me is you might not totally like me, but your heart hasn’t forgotten me.”
“Good night,” Berkley said and kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Chapter Seven
Berkley headed back to the base at ten after five the next morning after her restlessness drove her out of bed. The trip was quick, with few other cars out in the early morning. After she returned the guard’s salute at the front gate, she drove to the building where Aidan was staying.
The door to Aidan’s room opened quickly after she knocked almost as if she was expected. “Is everything all right?” Aidan asked, her hand still on the knob as she stood there in her pajamas.
“I’ve been up for an hour and I got tired of staring at my ceiling. I hope I’m not bothering you.” The room was small, so Berkley took the desk chair after Aidan let her in.
“Are your parents okay? It didn’t sound like you were expecting them,” Aidan said, and sat on the end of the bunk.
“They’re fine. They’re only here for the reasons I told you last night. My dad lives to give advice when it comes to the big decisions.” Berkley ran her hands down her thighs to her knees. “It’s nice since he doesn’t expect me to just fall in line. Then there’s the chance to climb back in the cockpit for a couple of days of fun.”
The comment made Aidan feel that she would be leaving alone. Berkley had made her decision and she’d have to do her best to accept it. “You said no,” she said as a way to give Berkley an out. “What help did you need with that?” The question was an observation that held no malice. “I meant what I said. As soon as I’m done, I’ll be back to finish our talk.”
“I’ll need all the information you have on this because I know for security reasons you held back some,” Berkley said and held up her index finger. “I want the list of pilots you’ve already recruited.” She held up the next finger. “And I want your word that the ship is yours, but the flight mission and the few pilots I’m bringing are my responsibility.”
“Are you sure?”
“About which part?” Berkley asked and rubbed the middle of Aidan’s forehead with her thumb. “Relax, Captain.”
“I mean are you sure you want to do this? You weren’t interested before yesterday.”
“If you’re willing to take a chance on me I’m not going to let you down, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She accepted Aidan’s hand. “Three years here is enough and I’m ready to move on.”
Aidan squeezed Berkley’s fingers and placed her other hand over her heart. “You have my word I’ll respect your judgment, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make this easier for you.”
“I’ll give you my best, but I appreciate your support.”
“That’s good enough for me, but I want you to be sure this is what you want,” Aidan said again.
“My dad’s right. My life here has become too complacent.” Berkley glanced away as she admitted that.
“Your life’s been what it’s needed to be, and there’s a lot of pilots out there that are better for it.”
“Say things like that, Captain, and I almost believe you do understand me,” Berkley said with a smile. “The other good thing about taking this job is that we’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other again. After it’s done you might not like where I end up.”
Aidan nodded and laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s true. But the only way I see that is if you became a serial killer in your spare time, so get used to the fact that I plan an all-out attack.”
“Duly noted, but hold off for now since we have a lot to do.” Berkley pointed to the window where the sky was starting to lighten. “When can we go over your intel?”
“Let’s meet today in the conference room before your first training flight. After you see what needs to be done I’ll accept whatever answer you have for me, but I want you to be sure because this isn’t going to be easy. If it’s yes, then how much more time will you need?”
“Depends on who makes the final cut and on the best way to get to the Korean facilities in the spots you showed us already.” She took a moment to study Aidan’s face before she let go and stood. “Another week should do it, so if you want to, shove off and the team and I will be right behind you.”
“I’ll stay on for a couple more days, then I have to go. There are some Pentagon meetings I have to attend next week.” Wanting some contact with her, Aidan stepped closer and put her arms around Berkley’s waist. “Thank you for even considering this. In the end the world probably won’t know how brave you are, but I will. And I also know you aren’t doing it for the glory.”
“I have enough shiny stuff on my uniform, you’re right about that.”
“I just feel better with you in the lead up there. Anything that goes wrong will only escalate an already bad situation, and you know what kind of nut we’re dealing with. I want to get in and out without starting a war
that’ll keep me from the life I want.”
“That’s my plan as well, so no worries.” She kissed Aidan’s forehead almost as a reflex response to something her heart remembered, but for once the memories brought no pain.
“What life do you want?” Aidan asked.
“One lived with little regret that makes me look forward to tomorrow.”
“If you promise to take me on a date I might have some suggestions for you.”
“You do, huh?” Berkley asked.
“That I do, and the thing you should concentrate on is how fun I am on a date. But only do that when your feet are on the ground. When you’re in that hell machine I want you to pay attention to what you’re doing so you stay in this great-looking package.”
“I’ll go so you can get ready.” Berkley kissed her forehead again and released her. “I’ll see you later on to go over everything.”
Chapter Eight
“As I mentioned at our first meeting, you’ll have two targets.” Aidan put a satellite photo on the large screen at the front of the room. “With constant satellite surveillance on the two locations, we know that Kim Jong Il has concentrated his research and testing to these two areas.”
“Were the radiation tests positive from the test Jong Il said he already conducted?” Berkley asked.
“The radiation levels did rise in the mountain section we pinpointed on the mainland, and from the intel we’ve collected, we think he has enough material to conduct perhaps seven more rounds of testing.” Aidan clicked to the next photo that showed trucks hauling material after being loaded on the large docks on the northern side of the islands. “What President Khalid understands and is afraid of now is a North Korean sale of nuclear material and intelligence to a country like Iran. A move like that would destabilize an already bad situation in Iraq. I don’t have to tell you how that situation would change if the suicide bombers start using dirty bombs.”