Heart On Fire

by A. L. Cook

  “That’s brilliant! What about this one: if you were a Dr Seuss book, you’d be green eggs and damn.”

  “You should stop before you embarrass yourself further,” she snorted.

  “Are you a campfire?” he asked her. “Because you’re hot, and I want s’more.” Erin’s laugh grew and Cam just kept the terrible pickup lines coming. “If you were a chicken you’d be impeckable. No? You know what you’d look good in? My arms. Or how about this one? You must be the square root of two, because I feel irrational around you.”

  “Stop!” Erin exclaimed, her face flushed with laughter as she reached out and swatted at him through her giggles. “You are such a nerd. Square root of two? Oh my god.”

  And that was it. Something about that moment, the ordinariness of it and how the joy of it suddenly stole his breath just triggered his reaction.

  “I love you,” he said, his voice sounding odd in his own ears, echoing like it was coming from far away.

  “I love you too,” Erin continued to laugh, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand.

  “No,” Cam told her, what felt like a peculiar expression frozen on his face as his eyes fixed on hers, “I mean I love you. I love you in the way that you’re the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. In the way that when I look at my own future there’s not one moment of it where I don’t picture you there, too. In the way that makes my ribs ache because you fill my heart to the point that it feels like it might burst open.”

  “Oh, Cam,” Erin said softly, her giggles subsiding and her eyes luminous in the soft lamplight.

  Her hair was shoved messily back from her face and she had a lime-green smudge of colour on her chin, but she was so beautiful in that moment, so achingly perfect that Cam couldn’t have stopped his words from coming if he’d tried.

  “You make me a better man. You fill parts of me that I didn’t know were empty, and you’re so good and kind and clever. I like you not just as my girlfriend, but as a human being. I love how much you love me, and how loyal you are. I love that you can’t sing to save your life, but you do it anyway. I love the way you look at me like I’m the only person in the room, and how you can lift me right up, no matter how low I feel.”

  He got to his feet without even realising he was moving and pulled the ring from his pocket as he got down on one knee before her.

  “Erin-” he began, just as the back door swung open.

  “Erin? Have you seen my phone? I think I left it oh my GOD!” Shelley shrieked as she fully realised the magnitude of the scene before her. “You guys are getting married!”

  Cam laughed. “I haven’t quite gotten around to asking her yet, Shell,” he told her.

  “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” the younger woman apologised. “Go ahead.”

  Entirely unsurprised when she didn’t budge an inch, Cam just turned back to Erin who was staring at him with tears standing in her eyes. “Marry me?” he asked gently. “Let me spend the rest of our lives loving you, caring for you and making you happy.”

  Erin opened her mouth to speak, closed it and swallowed hard, then finally nodded as her tears fell. “Yes,” she whispered, then again, louder. “Yes. Cam, yes!”

  Her hand was shaking as Cam slid the ring onto her finger but her smile was radiant. He stood and kissed her, and a moment later they both stumbled as Shelley threw her arms around them, sobbing happily.

  “Oh my god you guys, congratulations! I’m so sorry I ruined it, but I’m so happy for you and you were absolutely meant to be and oh my god wait til Maggie hears…”

  They both laughed as Shelley congratulated them enthusiastically and Erin smiled at Cam beatifically, so perfectly happy to have promised the rest of her life to him.

  I love you, she mouthed, wiping tears away before he kissed her once more.

  Love you more, he told her in return, her ring sparkling like a promise where her hand lay against his chest, his heartbeat matching hers.

  Just Married

  The day dawned cold and clear and excitement fluttered in Erin’s belly as soon as she woke up. She was actually going to marry Cam today, and she could hardly believe it. She got out of bed and pulled on her running gear carefully so as not to disturb him, then slipped outside. The sun was just tinting the clouds a gorgeous gold as it rose, and she was pleased to see the fog that had lingered for the last few days had finally disappeared.

  She took the steps two at a time from the front porch of the cabin they were staying in in Bartlett Cove down to the stone path and stretched briefly, thinking back to two years previously when she had gone for a run and finished it up by meeting the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. She smiled to herself as she started to run slowly along the unfamiliar track, thinking about the moment they had collided, and the way he had stared at her like he’d finally found something he’d forgotten he’d lost.

  She lifted a hand to wave at an early riser sipping coffee from his mug on his own small porch, and gave him a thumbs up when he called ‘Nice day for it!’ as she passed. It still surprised her sometimes how settled she was here, and how much she enjoyed being part of the small community. Some of that was because of her association with Cam, she knew, but a lot of it was more to do with finally allowing herself to have the things she wanted once more, and opening herself up to it.

  Heading along the beach that ran by the campgrounds she thought about the wedding dress hanging up in the closet, and decided to cut her run short and just head back. She was excited to start getting ready, even though it was far too early. She did a loop out onto a point of sand exposed by the low tide and began heading back, but slowed and eventually stopped to stare out over the water.

  When she and Cam finally managed to go on their date after the fundraising auction, this was where he had taken her, to Bartlett cove. It was a couple of hours from Juneau by boat, but they had gone slowly, ending up spending almost a week away together. It had been pure magic, and she had enjoyed every second of it. They had stayed a few nights at the lodge once they had arrived, and they’d had such a great time there and the cove was so beautiful that it had been their first choice of location for the wedding. They’d looked around, but kept coming back to Bartlett, so they’d just said the hell with it, booked the lodge and made it happen.

  Over the last few days, guests had been arriving in Juneau, and yesterday they had taken the ferry across to stay in the Glacier Bay Lodge. There were some last minute arrivals who would be flying over later in the day, but most everyone was already present and accounted for.

  As the sun rose further into the sky Erin began jogging back to her cabin. The wedding was going to be small, and there wasn’t much to do to prepare, but she knew that Shelley had plans for the day, and she wanted to chat with Cam before the activities began. She returned to her cabin, toed off her shoes and let herself in, unsurprised to see Cam gone already, and was about to take a shower when she saw an envelope on the end of her unmade bed. She sat down and picked it up, recognising Cam’s messy scrawl, and began to read.

  To my beautiful soon-to-be wife,

  I thought long and hard about what to write in this letter, mostly because I wanted to save all the good stuff for our vows, but also because I’m not always great at putting the way I feel into words. But here goes.

  The moment we met, seeing you in the dark that morning was like a fire starting inside of me. You know my history- I believe ‘player’ is the term you used- so you will understand how monumental it was when, after just a few weeks of knowing you I was already planning how to keep you in my life forever.

  And now I can. Sucker! Hey, you were the one who agreed to marry me, so this is all on you. But I couldn’t be more glad that you did. The love that we have, the life that we share, the way you watch me when you think I’m not looking? That all makes my life perfect, in the worst, most cliche and stereotypically-romantic-movie sort of way. I get to adventure with you for the rest of our forever, and there’s no one I’d rat
her do that with.

  So I swear to you, the most wonderful woman I have ever met, that I am now and will forever be yours. I will be faithful, constant and with you always. Everything I am, everything I have, my life, my love, my family, my heart- these things and all the rest are yours from today onwards. The good and the bad… no take-backsies, either; you promised.

  I love you, Erin. That’s what it comes down to, the thing that matters the most. I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman before, trust me on that and in all things, because I am yours entirely. Can’t wait to marry you today.

  Always,

  Cam

  She pressed the letter to her chest and squeezed her eyes closed against the burning that had started within them. It wasn’t often that Cam shared his feelings like that, and seeing it in writing, seeing the he felt strongly enough to put it into words filled her heart to bursting.

  She grabbed her phone from the bedside table and called him.

  “Like I said in the letter,” he told her, his voice deep and a little raspy, “you agreed to this, and it’s too late to back out now.”

  Erin laughed. “I’m not backing out,” she promised, “you’re pretty handy to have around.”

  He chuckled. “Have a good run?”

  “Sure did. I cut it short, though. Turns out I’m getting married today.”

  “Bet your future husband is hot.”

  “Eh, he’s okay.”

  “I’ll remember you said that.”

  “I hope you do,” she smiled. “Cam, your letter… it’s beautiful. Thank you so much. I didn’t need another reason to be glad I’m marrying you, but you gave me one anyway.”

  “It is very much my pleasure, sweetheart,” he said quietly. “I meant every word of it.”

  “I know, me too. So, what do the boys have planned for you today?”

  “My guess is ‘not much’ given some of the hangovers there will be around here.”

  “Had a good night, then? I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “It was late,” he snorted. “But it was a fun night. Didn’t catch a damn thing.”

  “Your mom will be pleased that her boat stayed clean, though.”

  “Well, there is that-” He broke off as someone called his name. “I’m being summoned to breakfast.”

  “Go; enjoy. I love you, Cameron.”

  “Not as much as I love you,” he told her, sincerity filling his voice. “And don’t forget, when we’re up there, the name you need to say is Cameron Elliott Thomas.”

  Erin laughed. “Thank god you reminded me. That could have been awkward. See you later.”

  “You most certainly will.”

  Ending the call and reading the letter to herself once more, Erin sighed contentedly. She left the letter on the bed and went into the bathroom to shower, the hot water sluicing the sweat away and soothing her muscles. She took her time washing her hair and shaving her legs, and only got out when her stomach began growling. As she shut off the water and towelled herself dry she heard voices from the main room of the cabin and guessed that her bridal party had arrived. She slipped into a fluffy white robe and stepped out to greet them.

  “You’re getting married!” Shelley squealed, barrelling into her and wrapping her in a tight hug.

  Erin laughed and hugged her back. “Sure am,” she agreed. “Hey, guys.”

  Miranda and Maggie were sitting on the end of her bed, waiting for her with enormous smiles. “Hi, honey,” Miranda said, getting to her feet to hug Erin as well. “How are you feeling?”

  “Excited,” Erin grinned. “And hungry.”

  “Rose is arranging breakfast for us,” Maggie told her, “so you can eat soon. But come over here and sit, girl; we have some things for you.”

  “What? No, Cam and I said no gifts,” she protested. “It’s more than enough that you all came out here to celebrate with us.”

  “Oh hush,” Miranda told her, leading her to the bed and dropping a box into Erin’s lap. “Here’s your ‘something new’ she said.”

  Erin opened the box to find a long gold barrette with ‘Mrs Thomas’ etched onto it. “This is fantastic,” she laughed. “Thank you so much.”

  “Here’s something old,” Maggie continued, sitting beside Erin and kissing her temple. “I wore it when I got married, and I thought perhaps you could pin it onto your bouquet, or something.”

  The worn burgundy-coloured pouch was tied up with gold cord and Erin untied it to tip the contents into her palm. A small starburst-shaped brooch fell into her palm and she stared at it, transfixed. “Maggie, it’s beautiful,” she breathed, running a thumb carefully over the paste diamonds set into the gold. I can’t take this-”

  “Of course you can,” Maggie told her gruffly. “Burt and I never got to have kids, so I have no one to pass this stuff onto. I like to think if we’d had a daughter, she would have been as wonderful as you.”

  “Oh Mags,” Erin breathed, wrapping her arms around the older woman’s neck as her eyes began to fill with tears. “Thank you so much.”

  “You are most welcome, my dear,” Maggie told her softly, hugging her tightly for a moment.

  “Now me!” Shelley said excitedly. “This can be your something borrowed.”

  She handed Erin a shoebox, and she knew what it was in an instant. “The white lace flats you got in D.C.?” she asked, and laughed when she opened the box and found exactly that. “Is this why you told me I couldn’t borrow them?”

  “It had to be a special occasion,” Shelley smiled.

  “Thanks, Shell, I can’t wait.”

  Shelley turned at the sound of footsteps on the porch and she went to open the door to let Rose in, who arrived with her hands very full. “Good morning,” she called, smiling her thanks at Shelley when she took a basket filled with goodies and placed it on the counter.

  “Hey, Rose,” Erin smiled, not missing the looks shared by all four women before Miranda, Shelley and Maggie got up, made incomprehensible excuses and then just disappeared, leaving Erin and Rose alone.

  “Lovely, yes,” Rose said, fussing over the basket she still held, “subtle they are not.”

  “Is everything okay?” Erin asked gently, taking the basket from her former mother-in-law.

  She had struggled with whether or not it would be appropriate to invite Daniel’s parents to her and Cam’s wedding, until Cam himself had taken her in his arms, kissed her once, and told her that it wouldn’t hurt anyone to ask, so what was she waiting for? That evening Erin had called Jon and Rose and invited them, telling them that there would be absolutely no hard feelings if they said no, given the circumstances.

  Rose had burst into tears and thanked Erin for inviting them, promising that they would be there, and reassuring her that all they wanted for her was happiness. She suspected Jon had shed a few tears also, as he had sounded particularly gruff when she had spoken to him while Rose collected herself.

  “Everything is fine, darling,” Rose told her, sounding so like Daniel with that endearment that Erin’s heart ached a little. “The others left because I asked if I could have a moment alone with you to give you your something blue.”

  “You didn’t have to bring anything, Rose,” Erin began, but the older woman lifted a hand to halt her and took Erin’s hand in her own.

  “I know, but I wanted to.” She smiled a wobbly smile, her eyes beginning to fill. “Your darling fiance is a very good man, Erin. He has been so wonderful about everything, about us being here and making sure we all keep in touch, so I hope he will be understanding of this, too.”

  She reached into her pocket and drew out a small square of folded pale blue cloth, staring down at it for a moment before pressing it into Erin’s hand. Erin took it and unfolded it fully to the size of a handkerchief, admiring the beautiful, tiny white flowers that had been hand embroidered in one corner, but was confused. She glanced up at Rose, horrified to find tears coursing down her face.