He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly before he asked, “And what is that, my love?”
He called me his love. Her heart skipped a beat. But she needed to calm down and get him to talk about what had happened all those years ago. Here goes… she thought.
“Ryan, we have to discuss what happened with your wife. I know part of the story, but you need to talk about it. You need to get it all out, the bitterness, the anger, the grief. Just one last time, you need to talk about it, to me. Then I will believe that you are truly ready to move on. Please do this for us and for our future.” She pleaded with her eyes as she went on, “We have a long way to go from here, and that is the first step. We may have fallen in love at first sight, but we have to do this the right way if it’s going to last forever. And I do want us to last forever. But I think maybe we need to slow down, take things one step at a time. We need to talk about the past as well as the future. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“Yes, I think I do. And you are probably right, although talking about her is the last thing I want to do right now. I hate to ruin a wonderful evening.”
“This will be the last time I ask you to talk about it. There will be no need to after tonight,” she answered with an encouraging smile.
“All right, I don’t even know where to begin.” He continued holding her hand while he spoke.
She caressed the back of his hand with her thumb to reassure him.
“You already know most of the story. Marnie and I were the ideal up and coming young couple. I owned a business and she had a good job and we lived in a nice home in Carmel, Indiana. Ten years ago, we’d been married about five years, she had gone on a business trip with her boss, Joe. It wasn’t an uncommon thing for her to do. They were on their way home. They had driven instead of flying because he had some fancy new car he wanted to try out. But it was raining very hard that night. Joe lost control of the car and they hit another car head on. Joe was killed instantly and Marnie lived long enough for me to get to the hospital, but she never regained consciousness. I drove there like a madman trying to get to her. I stood by her hospital bed crying, pouring my heart out to her, pleading with her not to die, not to leave me. She passed away shortly after I arrived. I was devastated. I took her belongings home with me and didn’t look at them until the next morning. That’s when I found the divorce papers that she had already signed. I also found what appeared to be a very impressive engagement ring and some other disturbing items in her purse. I did some investigating and found out that she and Joe had been carrying on behind my back for at least two years. Everyone in their office had known, but I had no idea. I was a blind fool. Or maybe I really didn’t care enough to notice what she was or wasn’t doing. I really don’t know. Anyway, I got through the funeral, trying to act like the dutiful, mourning husband, and then I sold my business, sold our house and packed up my belongings. Shane and Chloe had just opened the restaurant and they asked me to come out and help them with it.”
“Oh, Ryan, I am so sorry you had to go through all that. It’s no wonder you were sour on women for all these years. But rest assured, we are not all like Marnie.”
“Yes, Chloe keeps telling me that. She never did like Marnie, you know. She knew from the first time she met her. But she certainly likes you. You have not only made quite an impression on me, but with Shane and Chloe too. You should be honored.” He kissed her hand again. “Chloe has wanted me to find someone like you for a long time now.”
Katy shivered. If kissing my hand has this much effect on me, what would I do if he actually kissed me? I can’t wait to find out. Ten years was a long time to go without the love of a man.
“There is one thing I regret about the whole thing, though,” Ryan added sadly.
“What’s that?” she asked curiously.
“The people in the other car, it was a man and his little girl. The little girl was about ten or so, I think. I was told she was wearing a Girl Scout uniform. I always felt like I needed to contact his widow to apologize for Marnie and Joe taking her husband and little girl away from her. But I never could bring myself to do it. She lost so much, because of Marnie and Joe, so much more than I had lost that night on that Chicago highway. I even got her name, it was Kathleen or Katherine or something. I can’t remember the last name now. It’s been too many years. I always felt guilty about not apologizing to her and sending my condolences, but I honestly just didn’t know how she would handle it. Of course, it is way too late now. The tenth anniversary of the accident was last week. I’m sure she has moved on by this time.”
Oh, my God. Katy was as white as a sheet. She could not breathe – she felt as if she were suffocating. How can this be? Even when she had heard about his wife’s accident and the fact that it had been ten years ago, it never dawned on her that his wife was in the car that had hit Bill and Bree that night. But she should have guessed. It was a rainy night on a Chicago highway and they had been hit head on.
What in the world would Ryan think if he knew that she was the Kathryn that he had wanted to apologize to? What would he do if he knew that after all these years, he had just done what he wanted to do then? Darling, Ryan, you have no reason to apologize to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was not your fault. Yes, she was stunned by the news, but she had moved on. She would always love Bill. And she would never get over losing her baby girl, but it was not Ryan’s fault. And she truly felt now that it was some form of destiny that brought the two of them together this week, ten years after the accident. Their meeting was meant to be, but not for the reasons they had thought. Katy honestly did not know what to say to him.
“Katy, are you all right? You look pale.” Ryan seemed concerned. His hand brushed her cheek.
“I am all right, Ryan. Talking about these things just makes me sad.”
“Do you want to talk about your husband?” Ryan urged her gently.
“Not really, Ryan. I came to terms with his death many years ago. We had a wonderful life together. It came to an end much sooner than I expected it to. I spent a lot of time at first grieving, but I had a son to raise. I’m ready to move on. I will always love him. He was my first love. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t love again.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that. And I’m glad we had this talk. What do you say we get out of here? It’s getting late and all this talking about unpleasant things has taken a toll on both of us, I am afraid. You look a little tired. I need to get you back to the hotel. After a good night’s sleep, we can get together and discuss more pleasant things. Like the rest of our busy, happy lives…together…”
Katy smiled wanly. I thought I wanted a life with this man. But how could she ever tell him about Bill and Bree? She would have to think this over. She needed the ‘Fab Four’ to help her through this one.
She allowed Ryan to link her arm in his as he walked her to his car, her thoughts racing, her stomach tied in knots. It had been a jolt, learning the details of the accident.
As they reached the car, Ryan leaned over and lightly brushed a kiss across her cheek. “Forever,” he said. “The confirmed bachelor and the yellow rose who turned his head and opened his heart in a matter of two days.” He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose before opening the car door and settling her in the front seat.
Katy thought her heart would burst. His words should be music to my ears. The chemistry between them was undeniable. If only there was not the nagging little secret of her identity standing between them. I have to figure out a way to tell him who I am. I have to figure out where we go from here. Is there a future for us? Or were we only supposed to meet for closure’s sake? He would never believe that she could love him if he knew the truth. He felt too much unnecessary guilt. Why does it have to be this complicated?
She was quiet all the way back to the hotel. Ryan reached across the seat and took her delicate hand in his. He looked over at her several times, thinking how pretty she was. And soon she would
be his, in every way. He liked the sound of that.
But right now she was too quiet. I hope I didn’t upset her by discussing Marnie and the accident. She never said how her husband had died. But she was right about one thing. He did feel much better now that he had talked about it. He felt like he was ready to move on with her and put his past to rest, once and for all.
When they reached her hotel, Ryan parked the car and turned to her. “Katy, I want to thank you for this evening. You have no idea how happy I am at this moment.”
“I had a wonderful time, too, Ryan.”
“This is a whole new beginning for both of us, my love.” Ryan leaned over and kissed her. He kissed her lightly at first, before the kiss grew more passionate. She responded willingly. Her stomach was churning, her heart was pounding, the warmth slowly spreading through her body again. Her senses were reeling and any type of coherent thought was gone. She was falling in love with this tall, dark, and handsome Irishman. Or was she? His kisses stirred forgotten feelings within and brought a flush to her cheeks.
He kissed her again and again she responded with a passion she did not know she possessed.
Ryan pulled away and with his words brought her back to reality. “I’d better walk you to the elevator, Katy. In my car in a hotel parking lot isn’t exactly the place for this.”
Embarrassed, she straightened her dress and agreed with him.
“But know this, my yellow rose. There’s plenty more where that came from, and when you’re ready, you’ll know how loved and cherished you are.”
Katy wished that could be true. There was nothing more she wanted in the world right now. But she knew deep in her heart that it might never happen.
He walked her to the elevator and bade her goodnight. He blew her a kiss as he walked away and mouthed, “I’ll call.”
CHAPTER 14
Angie had gone to the lobby shortly after Katy had met Ryan. She sat nervously in a maroon and mauve plaid winged chair in the corner, enjoying the roaring fire in the brick fireplace as she waited for Michael. She thought she might run into him on the elevator, but luckily, she had not. She was still very nervous about this evening. What in the world did she think she was doing? She had not had time to call her mother and tell her that Michael was back in her life. Mom had always liked Michael. She had tried her best to convince Angie not to go through with the divorce. She had tried to talk her into telling Michael the truth about what happened. Even though Angie could not do as her mother wished at the time, her mother had finally supported her decision, although she had always felt that her daughter had made a huge mistake. She would be very much in favor of the idea of the two of them working out their problems and reuniting. Deep in thought, Angie did not hear Michael come up behind her.
He leaned over and whispered, “Penny for your thoughts, pretty lady. Thinking about me?”
She laughed. “You wish!”
“Where would you like to go for dinner? How about my room and we can order room service?” He smiled down at her devilishly.
“What and waste my new outfit just to go to your room?”
“Ah, so you bought a new outfit for me? And it is gorgeous, too, I might add. Pink. You remembered that I always loved you in pink?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, big guy. I was shopping with the ‘Fab Four’ today, remember?” She would never admit to him that she had, indeed, bought the pink outfit just for him.
“Seriously, Ang, there are some things I would like to talk to you about. I thought we could have more privacy in my room. I am not trying to seduce you. I promised you that I would be a good boy and I will keep that promise. We do need to clear the air and it might be better to do it with no one else around. I will behave as long as you want me to, I promise.”
Angie could tell Michael was deadly serious. There was no joking around now. He really did want to talk to her. Was he thinking along the same lines as Angie was? Did he want to try for reconciliation? Or did he want to clear the air and tell her there was no future between them and that theirs was to be a strictly professional relationship now? There was only one way to find out. She would agree to go to his suite, have dinner, and talk. Whatever happened after that, well…I really need to make sure nothing happens after that. If I sleep with Michael again after all these years, I will be lost forever. It had taken her years to get over missing him. She could not risk opening herself up to that kind of hurt again. But wasn’t that exactly what she was doing by working with him, dining with him, talking with him? And what if the conversation came around to her secret, which she was going to have to eventually tell him if they were going to work out their differences? How would he react? And how could she relive the agony all over again?
She took a deep breath, looked Michael straight in the eyes, and said, “All right, I will call your bluff, Mr. Gray. I’ll agree to go to your suite, order room service, and have polite conversation and possibly a serious discussion. I will hold you to your promise that nothing will happen after that, unless I agree to it.”
Michael looked at her for a long moment and said simply, “Right this way, Mrs. Gray.”
Where did that come from? Mrs. Gray? Yes, she had kept his name all these years. She had not been able to give it up. She had given up too much. It was the one thing she could hold on to of his. Of course, when asked why she still went by the name Angie Gray, she always said it was because that was how she had been known professionally. I’ve always used that career as an excuse when I did not want to face reality. It had become her crutch for all of these years.
“Mrs. Gray, now is it? We are being formal this evening,” she teased him as she walked beside him.
“No, I just like calling you Mrs. Gray. It still has a nice ring to it after all these years.”
She smiled to herself. Her heart leapt into her throat at his words. This was going to be a very strange evening indeed. Was she up to it?
He led her into his suite on the fourth floor of the hotel. “Actually, my dear, I was hoping you would agree to my plan, and I took the liberty of ordering the food already. I ordered all of your old favorites. I just have to call down and let them know what time we want the meal delivered. I’ll go ahead and give them a buzz. Pour yourself a glass of champagne. It’s chilling over there.” He pointed to the desk, where the bottle of bubbly sat in a bucket of ice, two fluted glasses next to it.
“You really have thought of everything, haven’t you?” She could be angry that he was so presumptuous, but she wasn’t. Why spoil a nice evening?
Michael made his phone call and came over to the couch to sit beside Angie, taking the glass of champagne that she had poured for him.
He toasted her with his glass and said softly, “Angie, we have to get our feelings resolved before we get back to work next week. We are going to have a long, serious talk about where we stand with each other. Don’t you agree?” He took a strand of her long, brown hair between his fingers and twirled it. He brushed her forehead with his hand, caressed her cheek, and touched her lips with his fingers. His touch scorched her skin.
She slowly took a sip of champagne and looked at him. She touched his face and smiled, “I agree, but Michael, you can’t just rush me up to your room, order dinner and expect fifteen years to disappear.”
“I know that, sweetheart. Let’s relax. You are as tense as can be.” He began to massage the tight muscles in her shoulders, the way he used to do after a long day at work. “Just relax, enjoy the champagne. We’ll enjoy our dinner and catch up on small talk. But then we can’t put this off any longer, Angie. We have to talk about what happened fifteen years ago, what has happened since, and where we go from here. I didn’t walk into your office last Friday morning by sheer coincidence. I told you that I asked for the assignment. I miss you, Baby. I had to know if you were still single. I had to know if we had any kind of a chance together. What better way than to approach you at your work? You have no idea what the last fifteen years without you have done to me.”
So, there it was. Michael had laid his cards out on the table. He does want me back. Those words should have brought sheer joy to Angie’s soul. But would he still feel that way when she told him her secret? Maybe she would never have to tell him. Maybe it would not even come up in conversation. But deep in her heart, she knew that if the subject came up, she would have to finally tell him. If they were ever going to have a chance at happiness again, she would have to tell him the truth. She was older and wiser now, she could see that her mother had been right. She should have told him back then, but the pain had been so fresh and raw. She had tried to shield him from feeling the same pain that she had felt. She had given him a chance to find happiness. But at what cost to herself? At what cost to him? The last fifteen years had been no picnic for her either.
Their dinner finally arrived. True to his word, Michael had ordered all her old favorites. Angie was amazed that after all this time he still remembered her favorite foods. The blackened salmon was prepared just the way she liked it, with twice baked potatoes and steamed asparagus as the sides. He had even ordered her favorite dessert, peanut butter pie. How could he have still remembered this? She knew more and more with each passing minute that she had made the biggest mistake of her life fifteen years ago. As they ate their food and talked about old times and old friends, she realized it all seemed so easy with Michael. Being with him seems so natural. Why couldn’t I have seen it back then? Actually, you big dope, you did see it. You were just too devastated to think about it.
She told him about Katy’s big date with Ryan. Michael thought that was interesting. He had liked Ryan instantly when he met him and felt he and Katy would be a good match. He told her he hoped it would work out for them. He also said he was proud of Katy for starting her design business after all this time. He spoke of the times he and Katy had spent together after the death of her husband and daughter. He told Angie how he had done everything he could to help Katy at the time. Katy had always been the strong one of the group and he felt she had needed a shoulder to lean on for once.
Crossroad To Love (Fab Five Series) Page 9