Savage Love

by Jodi Woody

  “What happened?” asked Trisha with a smirk.

  “You’d have to ask Daffyd that,” answered his mother.

  “Well, Daffyd, let’s hear it,” said Seanna. “Some girl in sixth grade break your heart, some bullies in eighth grade call you a long haired hippy, what was it?”

  “Nope, nothing so obvious. I’m not really sure. I guess if I knew that half of my battle would be won. Somewhere along the way I became more interested in me than in anyone else. Then every choice I made just fed the selfish monster inside,” he tried to answer truthfully.

  “But now you know better and you can live the rest of your life unselfishly,” stated his father.

  “I am sure gonna do my best, Dad, no matter how quickly that passes.”

  “Oh, hush that talk. You have a long life ahead of you!” said his mom.

  “Amen,” said a few others.

  “From your mouths to God’s ears,” said Daffyd.

  “Of course, that’s exactly the way it works,” smiled Seanna.

  Chapter 25

  Between The Rock And A Hard Place

  They all enjoyed each other’s company over the holidays. Daffyd and his parents spent hours talking, catching up and sharing old memories. Samantha and Lucille also spent time together talking and praying. Bryce was deliriously happy having all of his family together in one place, after years of strain and separation. Seanna was enjoying the whole thing! For the first time in her life she felt like she had an extended family. Her whole life had been lived without siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.

  Now with Leal and Trisha as aunt and uncle, Bryce as a brother and his grandparents behaving like she was one of their own grandchildren, she finally knew how wonderful family was. They all put off discussing what the plan would be now that the New Year was passed. The two college kids had a few weeks left of their winter break and Samantha was supposed to be back to school in just a few days. Finally one evening Daffyd broached the subject.

  “So, Bryce, when do your second semester classes begin?”

  “I have to be back on January 26. When do yours start Sea?”

  “Actually, the same day,” Seanna answered. “Mom, your class starts next Monday. Did they find someone to take your place?”

  “Last time I checked they were still looking,” she answered.

  “If they can’t find someone…you could always go back and finish out the year,” suggested Daffyd.

  “I am not leaving you again, Daffyd,” she stated.

  “What about those kids?” Daffyd asked her quietly. “Don’t you have a responsibility to them?”

  “That’s not fair Daffyd, you almost died!” she exclaimed.

  “Only because I was stupid and stubborn,” he laughed.

  “Oh, and now you are smart and flexible?”she laughed back.

  “Smarter than I was, and maybe a tad less stubborn. But stubborn can be a good thing if I am stubbornly refusing to die, right? Besides now Trisha and Leal are back to watch out for me and you made me promise to let them tell me when I was being stupid.”

  “Yeah, but if I’m not here, what’s gonna keep you from firing them the next time you get mad?” she countered.

  “I guess we’ll have to stick around to make sure that doesn’t happen,” said Bryson giving his son a stern look.

  “Honestly, Samantha, I learned my lesson. I love them like family and I’ll never take them for granted again. I promise.”

  “I think you should finish out the year. It’s less than five months until the end of your school year. It’ll go by fast and you can always come home for spring break,” said Daffyd.

  “I don’t want to talk about this, Daffyd. I am not leaving,”she stated firmly.

  “Why don’t you just promise to pray about it?” asked Daffyd.

  “I have prayed about it. I’m believing that God will send someone to take my place,” Samantha answered.

  “I think what my son is trying to say, honey, is that he wants you to pray for God’s will in the situation. Sometimes when we are between a rock and a hard place we tend to let our feelings lead, instead of God’s Spirit,” said Lucille gently.

  “Ok, I promise to pray. But when I hear from God, then this is settled,” she demanded.

  The next day Samantha spent some time in her room praying. She called out to God from her fear of losing Daffyd. She prayed earnestly for God to heal the man she loved and to give her discernment for the decisions she needed to make. Lord, I can never go back to my old life again. I have changed so much in the past few months. I am not the same person that I was when I lost Richard. I’ve been able to have a taste of the life that you always wanted for me. I would have chosen a little less drama, but I now know what love really is. And, Lord, I now know what a real family is supposed to be like. I need these people.

  Samantha gazed out over the snow covered mountains with tears flowing. Superimposed over the view of the mountain, Samantha saw a large cross with her Savior hanging in agony. It lasted only a second, but Samantha sank to her knees and wept. I see now Father, sometimes we have to let go. It would be so much easie,r Lord, if I knew that he was surrendered to you before I go, not my will but yours, Father. She dried her eyes and washed her face and went to find Daffyd.

  Daffyd was in his room resting when Samantha walked in. He was reading the last book in the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy.

  “How’s Frodo?” she asked.

  “Sad and tired, totally unaware of how brave he is,” answered Daffyd patting the spot next to him on the bed.

  “Sounds like me, only without the brave part,” she smiled as she sat next to him, leaning against the headboard. “I wanted to talk to you about staying…”

  “Let me go first.” He interrupted her. “I have been thinking about this for some time and I didn’t want to say this all in front of everyone. So if you would just let me say it all, with no interruptions.”

  “Ok, you first,” she allowed.

  “I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle it if you leave…but I know that’s probably the best thing for me. I know that sounds crazy, but I feel like as long as you are here that things are just too easy for me. It is so easy to just let you make all the hard decisions and to do the praying and believing for me. It’s a crutch for me, a way out of ever making a solid commitment. It’s so easy for me to believe when you are here and so strong in your faith. But I need to know that it’s all me. That I am making this decision, to allow God back into my life, because it’s what I believe. When I was little I believed because my parents did. I have never had any personal belief of my own. It’s not like I want you to leave. It tears me apart. But I think I may need you to leave so that I can be a man and do this on my own. Can you understand that at all?”

  “Oh, Daffyd. I hate to think of leaving you…especially since it’s only been such a short time. But I do agree with you. Well…at least I think it is God’s will. I did what you asked and prayed about it…and I guess that it’s all part of His plan for us,” she replied. They hugged and both of them cried.

  “So I guess that means I need to book a flight and pack,” she said as she stood. “Can Seanna stay here until the end of her break? She won’t stop telling me how great it is for us all to be here.”

  “You know she is welcome as long as she wants. You should ask her though; you know she loves you more than most girls love their mothers.”

  “Yeah, I guess I am blessed.”

  Seanna decided to go back to Wisconsin with her mom. Neither one called it “going home” as they felt like home was the place they were leaving. Lucille and Bryson decided to stay at least until Bryce had to go back to school, but Daffyd was just as insistent that they needed to allow him to work through his spiritual condition on his own. It was a sad day for them all when they had to say their goodbyes. Leal and Bryce were driving the girls to the airport, so Samantha and Daffyd said goodbye in his room.

  “So you promise you will be ni
ce to Trisha and Leal,” she teased.

  “I promise,” he said sadly.

  “If you’ve changed your mind I can just call the school,” she offered.

  “No, we are doing the right thing. It just is very hard,” he said pulling her close.

  She stood with her head tucked under his chin while he kissed the top of her head.

  “See you in the spring?” she asked.

  “And a phone call every night, right?”

  “I was thinking about that too, if you are going to try to do this alone, maybe we shouldn’t do the every night call…”

  “See what I mean, you had to point that out to me. I should have said that, but I was weak. So, yeah, as hard as it will be, then not every night. How about Sunday evenings and we limit the call to one hour?” he suggested.

  “You’re the boss,” she smiled up at him.

  “Well, we better get you downstairs so you can tell everyone else goodbye,” he said without moving a muscle.

  “We should,” she said burying her head in his chest again.

  Daffyd cradled her there for a little while, then pulled back and looked into her eyes. “We can do this.”

  She rose up and kissed him, full on the mouth, thinking of all the time they would be separated. Somehow a kiss on the forehead just didn’t seem enough this time. Finally they pulled apart and walked down the stairs for the last time, hand in hand.

  Chapter 26

  The Cure?

  By the end of February Samantha had gotten back into the routine of her classroom. She had more patience with her students and even enjoyed being at school. She looked forward to the weekly calls from Daffyd and the weekly updates from Trisha. The two of them decided to keep those calls between the two of them, but Samantha had peace of mind hearing from Trisha every week. Those weren’t the only calls she got. Seanna called at least every other day and she heard from Lucille occasionally. Bryce even called once to chat.

  She had joined a ladies Bible study on Tuesday evenings and was taking a writing class on Monday and Thursday nights. Her life was busy and comfortable and most of the time she didn’t get a chance to feel lonely. On her bad days she went to God and cried on his shoulder, or asked him for strength and her relationship with Him grew stronger. Daffyd seemed to be still struggling with his surrender to God, but was improving in his health. He chalked it up to having something to look forward to and had already purchased Samantha’s ticket to come in the spring.

  That’s why she was surprised to get a call from Trisha one March night at shortly after two in the morning. Daffyd had had a relapse and was in the hospital. Samantha was ready to hop on the next plane but Trisha got her calmed down enough to listen. Daffyd’s parents were on their way to come and get Daffyd and fly with him to a cancer treatment center in Mexico. It was run by Christians who treated with natural remedies and prayer. They had heard about it from some friends of theirs in the mission field.

  “Where is the closest airport, I’ll get a ticket right away?” asked Samantha in a panic.

  “Well, the thing is…they will only allow one family member to stay. Lucille will be staying and Bryson will be coming back,” answered Trisha.

  “Oh, Trisha, how am I supposed to stay here knowing he may be dying again,” she lamented.

  “The same way that you have been, in God’s strength, Samantha. You wouldn’t be able to pray any better in Montana or Mexico than you can right now. You need to put your faith in Him. He loves Daffyd and is able to take care of him,” encouraged Trisha.

  “You’re right, as usual, but it’s so hard,” she cried.

  “Let’s pray and I promise to keep you posted. Lucille also said she will call you as soon as they get settled in Mexico.”

  “Can you pray, Trisha …”

  “Father, we thank you that you love us and that you care about us. Thank you for safety while Daffyd and his parents are traveling. Thank you for healing him body and soul. Thank you, Lord, that Daffyd will surrender his heart to you. And we thank you, Father, for giving us a peace that passes all understanding. In Jesus precious name, Amen”

  “Amen.Thanks, Trisha,” said Samantha tearfully. “Call me as soon as you know anything.”

  “Lucille promised to call and let you know when they get there. Just hang in there. And Samantha, they did say that if they thought Daffyd wasn’t improving, then they call the family so that they can come to be with their loved one in the end.”

  “I’ll keep my cell phone charged and on me at all times then,” she replied tearfully.

  As soon as Samantha hung up she called a few ladies from her Bible study and asked them to call a few more to pray for Daffyd. She prayed until she finally fell asleep exhausted by the strain. She woke the next morning with a headache from crying so much the night before. She called in to work and asked them to give her the day off. About a half hour later, her pastor showed up at her door.

  “Mrs. Hoffman told me what is going on with Daffyd, Samantha. I didn’t want you to just stay home and fret and worry. Do you feel like taking a walk with me?” he asked.

  “Sure Pastor, just let me grab a jacket and my cell phone,” she replied.

  They walked together in silence for a few blocks. The weather still had a Wisconsin chill. Their spring hadn’t quite arrived yet. The snow had melted, but the warm weather hadn’t begun. Spring was always a hard time for Samantha. At least the few weeks between the thaw and the budding of the trees, everything just looked sad and forlorn.

  “So tell me what you are thinking, Samantha.”

  “I was thinking how much cheerier it would be when the leaves begin to bud and the grass greens up,” she answered.

  “Spring is my favorite season. After a long cold winter, it’s always a welcome sight to see the new growth,” said Pastor Shane. “It’s a reminder that no matter how barren and cold things may seem, there is always a new beginning. We may not see the growth that happens during the winter, but under the ground the roots are going deeper and getting stronger.”

  “Are you trying to tell me that something good is going to come out of all of this?” she asked with a sad smile.

  “You got me figured out,” he said with a chuckle. “I know that doesn’t make any of this easier.”

  “It’s just so unfair. You know how things were between me and Richard, and I’ve told you about how I grew up. It has taken all these years and all of these struggles to get to the place where I have a family. I finally get to experience true love and that may all come to an end,” she cried.

  Pastor Shane handed her a Kleenex and gave her a minute.

  “I can’t pretend to have all the answers. But I do know that God loves us and he wants what’s best for all of us.”

  Samantha laughed, shaking her head. When Pastor Shane gave her a concerned look, she shook her head and waved her hands.

  “That’s exactly what I told Daffyd when he was struggling. I guess I get to take some of my own medicine,” she laughed.

  “Did it help him?” he asked.

  “I think it did…”

  “I am asking you to trust God. Go on with your life, teach your classes, and go to college, all of your normal activities. If you feel overwhelmed, just call a me, or a friend. Better yet, talk to God. Just don’t allow yourself to feel defeated. You need to be strong no matter what happens. His grace, His strength is sufficient. Suffering is a part of life. God never promised to keep us from it. He did promise to give us the strength to come thru it. You’ll come out on the other side with deeper roots and with more faith, just like these trees.”

  “Thank you, Pastor. My head is feeling better from all this fresh air and my heart is feeling better from our talk. I’ll be at work tomorrow. I think I’ll spend the rest of the afternoon making a few phone calls and in prayer.”

  During Samantha’s second period her cell phone rang. She had already explained to her students that she was expecting an important call so that she could take it in the hallwa
y right outside of class. It was Lucille.

  “Samantha, I just wanted to let you know that we are in Mexico. We got in late last night and it took us a while to get to the Treatment Facility. Daffyd is all settled in now and the place is wonderful,” she said.

  “How is he doing?” she asked.

  “He seems to have stabled. I have to admit, I thought we were going to lose him. He passed out and went into convulsions. We didn’t even bother to call an ambulance. Leal drove us all to the hospital faster than we could have ever made it waiting on them to come out. He had a high fever that took them a while to get under control. They weren’t going to let him leave, but we insisted. Trisha ended up getting a hold of Kate Mallory and asked her to accompany us, that allowed us to get Daffyd out of there and on our way. She is a wonderful woman,” explained Daffyd’s mom.

  “Do you get to stay right there with him?” she asked.

  “They let me stay right in his room as long as I don’t interfere with any of his treatment. I don’t see that happening. They are great here. Everyone is saved; they don’t use traditional medicine at all. Everything is all natural and they pray over Daffyd every time they come into his room. When I left his room he was sleeping peacefully. He isn’t very lucid right now but he is comfortable,” Lucille answered.

  “They really won’t let anyone else visit?” Samantha asked hopefully.

  “Sorry, Honey. Bryson and Kate got a couple of motels rooms nearby and are flying home this afternoon. They can’t even come back to say goodbye. They are trying to keep their patients as calm as possible without too much excitement. Samantha…how are you doing?”

  “I’m doing better than I had thought possible. I have friends praying for us and I am trying to stay busy, on some good advice from my Pastor.”

  “Good girl! Stand in faith in His Word.”

  “I will sure try my best. Call me anytime day or night to keep me informed and tell Daffyd I love him,” said Samantha.

  “I will go one step farther and give him a hug and a kiss from you!”