Cyborg Heart

by Anna Lewis

  She even started to fantasize about him. Sometimes she found she really had to hold herself back.

  Because she’d all but accepted that this place was going to be where she ended up dying, she decided to focus more on her confused feelings about him, rather than her impending doom, because it felt like a much lighter topic. But despite all the time she had on her hands, and all the hours that she spent alone, she still couldn’t quite work it out. Why was she seemingly so attracted to him? What was it about the alien race that drew her in so much? Why did she find them so much easier to connect with than humans?

  Was there something wrong with her?

  ***

  “So… what’s happening now?” said Talia, shyly. She wanted to have something else to talk about, something to distract her from the craziness going on inside of her, as he sat opposite her having finished up her tests for the day. “Out there I mean? Is the DNA helping?”

  She laughed a little awkwardly, knowing that she was stepping on dangerous territory, but at the same time needing to know. Even if she was going to die, she wanted the humans to win. She wanted to know that her race wasn’t about to die out. If she could go knowing that at least something positive was happening, she felt like she could be okay with it. She wanted to know just how much of an impact these ruthless, endless tests were having on the war effort – she hated helping the enemy, but there wasn’t anything that she could do about that!

  “Do you want the truth?” B asked her, giving her a curious look. “Are you sure?”

  She gulped down anxiously, not liking the sound of that at all, before nodding quickly. Whatever it was, however bad things were, she would much rather be in the know. She was very aware that knowledge was power, and she felt like that was still true even if she was on her death bed.

  “Things have taken a very unexpected turn. The humans seem to have something new, something that can beat us,” he sighed sadly, looking at her with an intense hurting stare. “I really don’t know if we’re going to be able to win this one. And if we don’t, we may end up wiped out. That might be our own fault, but I feel bad about it. I feel bad about the ones like me, the ones that don’t agree with the war effort.”

  “R… right,” she stammered cautiously, not knowing how she should react to this. Of course she was happy, and it gave her a glimmer of hope that she might be able to get out of here alive, but somehow it felt bad to rub that in B’s face, when he was so clearly devastated by this. So she simple said, “I see.”

  She felt a little bad too about all of the Ec’dua race dying out. Most of them could go to hell as far as she was concerned, but B, and the other good guys he’d mentioned, they didn’t deserve that.

  “I just… I like it here,” he told her honestly, staring deep into her eyes. “I like Earth and the human race. This war was never what I wanted. It’s never been what I thought was right. I hate that it’s gotten so out of hand. I don’t want to go back out there, without a home. I don’t want to have to hunt for a new planet because I will never find anywhere that I find so comfortable as Earth. I will never find anywhere that I feel so at home. That’s all I want, a home of my own.”

  Talia’s heart pounded heavily in her chest as she considered this. She’d spent so long focusing on getting through the war that she’d never actually considered what it would be like afterwards, and B had forced her to do so.

  What would she do when the war was over and the aliens left? How would she go back to a normal life? She did not even know what a normal life was. She had known nothing but fighting and war almost all of her life. And there were millions like her. How would they move on? Would they rebuild some form of society and take on job-like positions to help one another? How would that work for the ones like her who had been kids when the war begun?

  Talia wasn’t sure that she could live like that, close to other people, doing ordinary everyday things. She felt like she’d become too ingrained with fighting, too used to battling everyone. How would she recover from that?

  All of a sudden, she started to believe that maybe she was meant to die in that alien base, so that she wouldn’t have to face the uncertain post-war future. She started to believe that this had to be her destiny. Maybe it wasn’t what she wanted, but maybe it was what she needed.

  “Yeah,” she murmured distractedly back to B. “I know what you mean.”

  He gave her an intense look, as if a million and one thoughts were circling around in his brain, and for a terrifying second she wondered if he was about to say something that would throw absolutely everything else in the air. Her heart raced, her mouth ran dry, and her entire body began to tremble with anticipation…

  Bang, bang, bang…

  But then they heard a series of bangs, and they jumped up from where they were sitting, both looking as panicked as one another.

  “What the hell was that?” Talia asked, her eyes darting about.

  “It’s starting,” B confirmed. “They have come for us.”

  ***

  B grabbed Talia’s hand and dragged her away from the danger that was so clearly heading their way. Her mind was everywhere.

  “The humans are here,” he yelled, seemingly not considering the fact that Talia was a human too. “They’re going to destroy everything. We need to get out of here. We must leave everything behind and run.”

  Talia was aware that the smart thing to do would be to pull away from B and to go and join her own people, her own race, but she was also acutely aware that if she did that she would never see B again – and for some reason that filled her with an intense sadness. She just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet, no matter how crazy that was.

  She didn’t want to analyze it, but her brain was doing so anyway, needing to find a reason why she was no longer acting smart, and why she was allowing her heart to rule out. Maybe it was because she had never really felt the same connection with anyone else before. Maybe it was because she’d spent her entire life pushing everyone else away, but somehow B had managed to sneak his way in. Even if it was because of their intense situation, that had thrown them together. She had still opened up and let him in.

  As she finally found herself out in the cold air, reality slapped her in the face once more. Everything came to a head, and the fog simply melted away, leaving only a stark reality instead.

  “What are we going to do?” she pleaded with B, unable to stop herself from noticing that he was much more handsome in natural light. “Where do we go now?”

  “I don’t know,” he told her honestly, looking just as scared as she felt. She supposed that it was probably worse for him because she was merely a prisoner escaping, whereas he had broken her out.

  Then again, if any humans found her with him, they wouldn’t take too kindly to it either. There was no winning here, they both just needed to run.

  “Okay,” she nodded, panting heavily and trying to take control. “Let’s just… keep moving. We’ll find somewhere to hide out and make a plan.”

  “Sounds good,” he agreed. “Let’s go.” Then he slipped his hand into hers and they ran as fast as their legs would carry them.

  Her heart raced as they moved, millions of thoughts crashing through her brain, but she wasn’t trying to stop on any single one of them. This was crazy, it was insane, but she didn’t have any choice now… her decision had been made. She was with B now.

  ***

  Talia quickly led B to a house where she’d hidden out a short while before she’d been captured, when she’d gotten a very bad cold, and she didn’t feel up to fighting. It was hidden in the depths of the woods and she hadn't been disturbed the entire time she was there last time, so she felt it would be safe. It was the only closed-off place that she knew about anyway, so in the heat of the moment, it was there or nothing.

  Plus, in a weird way, she liked the house because it was like a shrine to the old world. It had somehow managed to remain pretty well preserved, which meant that it was more comfortable than anywher
e else. There were chairs, beds, home comforts, and she’d actually been sad to leave it all behind. It felt kind of nice to be back there again, although strange to have someone on her arm, and an alien at that.

  “Wow,” B commented in awe as they stepped through the doors. “This is nice. What a good find!”

  “Somewhere pretty nice to hang out while we decide what to do,” Talia shrugged, trying to seem blasé, to hide the crazy emotions that were going on inside of her. Why did she suddenly feel so weird about being alone with B? They’d been spending the last few weeks pretty much by themselves. Why was this so different?

  She supposed that it was likely because things had changed within her, and that her feelings had teetered into something inappropriate and now they were in a much weirder, closer position where that could quickly become obvious. There were no more bars, no more separations between them. It was just her and him in that house, and they were very equal, able to do anything that they wanted.

  That freedom was absolutely terrifying.

  Talia honestly had no idea how B would react if she told him how she was feeling, and that was awful. A small part of her was actually afraid that he might like her too, which would leave her in an extremely vulnerable position. She would have feelings for someone, a sizzling chemistry, and he would have it back, and they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. They were completely different species, and their peoples were enemies. However strongly they felt, however much they wanted to be together, they just couldn’t.

  It would also be very crushing to find out that he didn’t like her either – in fact, that might even be a whole lot worse!

  “What do you want to do for now?” B asked Talia, sounding about as confused as she felt. “Do we rest? Do you want to eat? Do we start making our plan?”

  “My head isn’t in the right place for making a solid plan right now,” Talia admitted, her nerves all over the place. “I just want to…”

  Then it hit her! She remembered seeing a bottle of vodka the last time that she was here, and if there was anything that could dull her feelings, and make things a little easier between her and B, it was that. She’d never tasted booze before because she’d always wanted to be completely aware of her surroundings, but things had changed now, and she thought it was right.

  She raced into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle, before taking it back into the front room. There she showed B the bottle, and rather than looking bewildered, B nodded.

  “I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in a while,” he told her, shocking her into remembering that once upon a time, he had led a semi-human life too. “And I think you’re right. This feels like the perfect time.”

  With that, Talia cracked open the bottle, and poured them both a shot, just to get them started.

  ***

  About an hour later, Talia’s head was swimming with the booze, but in a really good way, in a way that was really freeing. Instead of dulling her feelings for B, it was making her feel them much more deeply, and in a strange way that was really exciting.

  She’d spent so long trying to keep it all inside, that now they were finally out there, she almost wanted to take it there and explore them… even if they would be wrong. She suddenly didn’t care that it was taboo, it was all that she wanted and she just wanted to jump on him and rip those clothes from his body.

  The alcohol was turning off her thoughts, stopping her from thinking about how they shouldn’t even be in the same room, never mind anything more. Instead all that she could feel was how much he would be her perfect man for her, if she were looking for someone. He was incredibly handsome, sweet, and very funny.

  She felt like she had more in common with him then she’d ever had in her life before.

  “So,” B started, looking a little bit tipsy himself. “Tell me about yourself… and not just Talia in this crazy war, but the girl that you were before, and the person you want to be when all of this is over.”

  Talia giggled, not even feeling slightly weird about this question. “Well when this all kicked off, I was only six years old, so I was just a kid. I didn’t become this jaded, cynical girl until… well that probably started after I came home and found my mom dead and my dad gone.”

  B looked upset by this, but Talia didn’t feel that way anymore. She was simply stating is as fact. It was just another emotionless part of her past now – something that she didn’t even think about anymore. She went on. “Then I just learned to grow alone. I never wanted anyone else, I just wanted to rely on myself, because I know that even if I can trust no one else, I can trust me.” She smiled at B, looking at him with a little too much love in her eyes. “So honestly I don’t know what I’ll do after all of this. I might just continue being a loner, wandering around, surviving.”

  “But doesn’t that seem a little… sad?”

  Not wanting to answer B’s question because it felt a little too close to home for her liking, she turned it back around.

  “What about you? Tell me about you?”

  “I guess I’ve always been like you,” B started. “I never connected with anyone, and spent a lot of time by myself. Most of my people just want to kill and take what isn’t theirs, which I don’t agree with at all. I just don’t think that it’s right, but I’ve never had anywhere to settle to allow me to be myself.” He shook his head, showing the true depth of his emotions. “Then we came here, and we blended in, and we finally felt normal. I felt like I could connect with humans, I felt an affinity with them, and I really didn’t ever want to go.”

  Talia suddenly felt a bolt of jealousy, causing her to ask something a little too bold. “Did you… ever fall in love with a human woman?” Now that she was thinking about it properly, she thought that aliens had been around humans for a long time, and that maybe they’d mated with one another before, with no one noticing any difference….

  “No,” he confirmed, shooting her theory down. “It was against the rules, we could only be with each other. Plus, I never felt a connection that deep with anyone. No until…”

  He didn’t say it, but the meaning was there. He felt as connected to Talia as she did him, and she felt like he was offering her everything that her heart was so desperately craving.

  They stared at each other intently for a few moments, allowing the emotions between them the free flow. Then Talia made a snap decision. She leaned in, and she pressed her lips up against B’s, finally giving in.

  Fireworks exploded within her and she instantly felt grateful. This felt right, and that meant that it had to be right. Didn’t it?

  Either way, it was happening now, and she had no idea how to stop it. Even if she wanted to, which she really didn’t…

  ***

  As they continued to kiss, Talia’s entire body felt on fire with desire. Her ears were absolutely buzzing with lust, the chemistry inside of her swirling. This was hot, sizzling, much better than she’d ever thought it could be, and she didn’t want it to end.

  Suddenly a burst of bravery overtook her, and she pressed her full, heavy body tightly up against B’s, until his thick muscular body was almost molding into hers. He felt even more gorgeous to her than she’d even expected, and now that she’d given in to what she’d been desiring for far too long, it made her feel phenomenal.

  “Oh God,” she groaned against his mouth, “You have no idea what you’re doing to me B.”

  He responded to her comments silently, by wrapping her up in his arms, making her feel safe and turned on, all at once. This was crazy and intense, and she never wanted it to end.

  After a few moments, his hands began to work their way over her body, tracing every curve, every peak, every dip, sending bolts of desire racing right through Talia. His expert fingers were sending her wild, and she wondered if she’d ever stop feeling so amazing. How had a man who claimed he’d never been with a human woman, seem to know her body so well? Could it be his mind reading ability? She had no idea, but she didn’t care… not when it was making her so hap
py.

  She quickly yanked his shirt wide open, not even caring as all the buttons popped on the way down. She wanted B, needed him badly, and she couldn't wait to feel just what he had for me. His erection kept pressing up against her leg, and it felt bigger than she’d ever thought a man could be.

  Not that she had any previous experience in that area, but even that didn’t seem to matter, not to B. He was just so happy to be with her, to have her reciprocating his feelings, that anything she did to him would feel amazing.

  She wanted to feel it, to see it, to find out if he was as impressive as she thought he might be. That throbbing cock was sending her wild, and she wasn’t sure how long she could keep holding back for. B had her feeling braver and bolder than she ever had before – like a sexy goddess, willing to try anything.

  As she ran her hands over his abs, gasping in pleasure as she went, he pulled back from kissing her, just long enough to tug her top up over her head, revealing parts of her that no one had ever seen before. Instead of making her feel shy and insecure, she wanted him to see her. She felt happy for him to continue drinking all of her in; her large breasts, full waist and shapely behind. She just liked the way that he made her feel.

  “You truly are beautiful,” he eventually gasped, pulling her back closer to him. “For a human – you are the most stunning I’ve ever seen.”

  Talia didn’t know what to think about that, she certainly didn’t feel like it was true. What little she knew of men told her that they usually preferred a more petite woman. But she did like the way that his words filled her with a powerful, hungry sexiness.

  He began to tug at her trousers, desperately wanting them off, but a brave thought overcame Talia and she grabbed his hand in hers to stop him. “No, not quite yet,” she whispered.

  He instantly assumed that he had pushed things a little too far, and he jumped back as if he’d been electrocuted, but that wasn’t it at all. Talia figured that if this was the only time that she was going to explore B’s body, and if it would be the only sexual experience she ever had, then she wanted to get absolutely everything that she could out of it.