white dawn (Black Tiger Series Book 3)

by Sara Baysinger

  Sleep eventually finds me. But even in sleep, her smiling brown eyes find me. She’s standing in the orchard, the sunrise playing off her chestnut hair. She’s the Ember I met on Career Day. The girl free of worries or regrets or too much information that only seemed to weigh her down. Her smile is dazzling. The hope in her eyes is suffocating. Her presence is intoxicating.

  And then thunder—a loud bang crashes into my eardrums, shattering the image of Ember into oblivion. My eyes fly open to smoke and debris and my body is floating somewhere in space until the hard ground meets my back in a thud and the air is knocked out of me.

  I suck in a sharp gasp, but it’s so hard, like my lungs have collapsed and the air has to fight its way in. Another loud thunder and a gush of wind blows over. I open my eyes just in time to see a large chunk of metal flying straight toward me. I roll to the right and the chunk buries into the ground, narrowly missing my left shoulder.

  Holy Crawford.

  What is going on?

  The ringing in my ears is deafening, and when it fades, when I can hear voices, they sound like they’re under water. I push myself into a sitting position. People are scattering in fifty different directions. Medical personnel. Defenders. They’re scurrying into the nearby fields, away from the site of attack. Everyone on the team has been uncompelled now. No one has the command to stick around even if something terrible goes wrong. That’s what Titus always brainwashed his people into doing. But Aurora’s loyal subjects flee from the site of attack, not caring that their precious chief might be in trouble.

  It’s kind of refreshing.

  “Rain!” Strong hands grab my arm and hoist me up. Defender Chale.

  “Glad you’re okay, sir.” He jerks his head toward the smoke and fire and flying debris. “I haven’t seen Chief Aurora yet. C’mon.” He heads into the smoke, and I would almost think he was still under compulsion if I hadn’t seen him being freed firsthand. Where there is one explosion, more are sure to follow. I know this full well. And I’ve kind of grown fond of Chale. I utter a curse and go after him.

  “Chale!” I shout above the screaming people. As the smoke clears, I see him bending down on one knee, trying to lift a chunk of metal. It lays across the backs of Aurora’s legs, pinning her to the ground. And a flashback explodes in my memory.

  Ember, lying in the debris.

  Ember, pinned to the ground after an explosion.

  Ember…Ember…Ember…Ember…

  “RAIN!”

  My eyes snap to Chale’s.

  “Will you help me?” His eyes are wide and urgent. “Hurry! There are vehicles already heading this way!”

  I glance down the road. Sure enough. Politician jeeps, come to interfere with their least favorite Whitcomb’s plans. I grin.

  “Leave her. Come on.”

  Chale looks at me like I suggested killing the chief. Which, I guess I kind of did.

  “Don’t you see?” I press, looking at Chale. “Even the politicians don’t want her.” I laugh and shake my head. I seriously wish Chale would ditch this loyal guard-dog attitude he’s developed for Aurora. “Chale, no one thinks a psycho is fit to rule this country. Just leave her.” I glare down at her. She stares up at me, eyes wide, jaw slacked. I don’t know why she’s shocked. I tried to kill her myself two weeks ago. But the beseeching look in her eyes tugs at my soul and fuels my anger. “Leave her, Chale. Let. Her. Die.”

  Chale mouth falls open. He looks at her, then back at me, like he just can’t decide which of us would be a better dog owner. It’s kind of sad, really. But the vehicles are nearing, and far be it from me to sit here and get re-arrested by the shoddy politicians.

  Shoving my hands into my pocket, I spin on my heel.

  And walk away.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  AURORA

  I stare after Rain as he walks away, all hope leaving with him. I immediately regret every negative thing I’ve said to him. I suddenly wish I’d tried a little harder to be his friend. Chale continues working with the metal, but it’s useless. It’s too heavy. And my heart sinks into my stomach with the realization that I’m going to die.

  I’ve hoped for this moment, before. When I was locked in my room, I dreamed of the moment I would die by someone’s hands, other than my own. But I’m realizing that in this very moment, I don’t want to die. I’ve tasted freedom. I have dreams and passions, and I want to see Gideon’s face again. I know Rain won’t listen. This is his dream come true—my dying without his having an active part in it. But with one last grain of hope, one last effort, I call out to him.

  “Is that it, then, Rain?” I shout. Rain stops walking, but doesn’t turn. “You go against one government to blindly follow another? How is what the Resurgence is doing right now any better than what I’m doing? I’m freeing Ky, and they’re hiding across the river. I’ve done everything you’ve asked. I’ve trusted you, even after you tried to assassinate me. And this is your choice? Leaving me to die?” I release a half-hearted laugh, working hard to smother the sob threatening to escape me. “By blindly following the Resurgence orders, you’re no better than a brainless Defender.”

  Rain spins around. The destroyed look in his eyes rips my heart open. I know I shouldn’t talk about Ember. He hates it when I bring her up. It’s the ultimate piss-off, but—

  “Ember gave up her life, believing in me.” The mention of Ember makes my own heart sting, because it’s so my fault. “And I know—I know, she shouldn’t have. But she did. It’s done, Rain. Are you—are you just going to let that go to waste? Let her life go to waste? Can you just, for one minute, try to see what she was doing? Try to see her reasoning?”

  Finally he strides toward me, but the look in his eyes tells me he’s not coming to rescue me. He bends on one knee, glares down at me, and for a moment I think he’s going to finish me off himself.

  “Her reasoning?” His voice is raw. “Her reasoning was that she was blinded by you.”

  “How can you know? How can you know she was the one who was blinded?”

  His eyes snap. “You’re ridiculous if you think—”

  “What have I ever done to make you think I’m evil?” The roar of motors grows louder as vehicles approach. Chale shifts from foot to foot, taking all this in and not knowing what on earth to do. “Name one thing I’ve ever done against you that makes you think I’m anything like Titus?”

  “One thing?” He laughs. “You led Titus straight to Louisville.”

  “One thing,” I interrupt. “That you know for a fact.”

  “Besides attack Ember in the caverns?”

  “It was self-defense, Rain. But I didn’t kill her, did I? I could have, but I didn’t.”

  He narrows his eyes. “You’re mean.”

  “Only when I have to defend myself against you.”

  He opens his mouth like he’s going to speak, then closes it again. The vehicles are getting closer. His eyes dart down the road, then he utters a curse.

  “For the love of—” And he begins shoving the metal off my legs. Chale jumps in to help. Finally, it shifts and I’m able to maneuver out from under it. Chale’s and Rain’s hands are on my arms, lifting me to my feet. I stumble behind Rain, but pain shoots into my ankle and up my leg, and I begin falling forward when Chale lifts me in his arms and races into the shelter of the pine trees before the jeeps get to us. I don’t know if they saw us escape or if there was still too much smoke for them to see us, but after a good ten minutes of running, Chale and Rain slow down to catch their breaths. Chale gently sets me on my feet, and I slowly put pressure on my ankle. The pain has eased enough for me to walk.

  “Thank you, Chale.”

  He nods while catching his breath.

  “What the shoddy rot was that about?” Rain asks once he’s breathing normal again. We continue walking briskly through the trees. I don’t know where the rest of our company is, but I’m glad they escaped and didn’t wait for me. I don’t think I c
ould forgive myself if there was any more bloodshed on my account. Besides, a large group could be easily spotted, while the three of us can remain hidden.

  “I knew they were going to stop us,” I say, ignoring the throbbing pain in my ankle. “That’s why I instructed Mcallister and Walker and Krin to stay behind. They were supposed to phoneband me if something went wrong. They knew about the riots, but I guess these guys went behind their backs.”

  Rain snorts. “That, or this was their way of getting rid of you.”

  I ignore the barb and look at Chale. “Did you see where the others went?”

  “No idea. But Defender Adder and I instructed everyone to head back to their homes if anything happened.”

  “Good idea,” I say. “If they went to the town square or Frankfort they could be walking into a trap. Good job, Chale.”

  He offers a small smile. “Of course, Chief. The only problem is, the bus that blew up…”

  I close my eyes as dread turns my blood to ice.

  “It was the bus holding the antitoxin,” he finishes.

  All hope drains from my system.

  “Does Titus have a backup supply?” Rain asks.

  I shake my head. “If he does, I know nothing about it. We did leave a few vials behind, so our lab techs can certainly make more. It’s just going to take time.” Voices sound behind us, and we continue striding in the opposite direction.

  As we travel, a million thoughts run through my head. Like, is the rest of my company safe? Have the politicians taken over Frankfort, or were Walker and Mcallister able to keep things under control? Is this just a small group rebelling against me, or has all of Frankfort risen up? I look at my phoneband for the hundredth time, type another message to Walker.

  Are you safe? Did you know about the attackers? What does Frankfort look like?

  But all my messages remain unanswered.

  “So.” Rain breaks the silence. “What’s the plan now, Chief?”

  I hate the mocking way he calls me chief. I haven’t thanked him yet for rescuing me, but since I feel like he already regrets the decision, thanking him might be like twisting the dagger of his terrible mistake.

  “Well,” I begin. “Walker won’t respond to my messages.”

  “He was injured.”

  “What?” How does he know this?

  He lifts his wrist, revealing the phoneband I returned to him as a part of our deal. “Mcallister phonebanded me.” He offers a dramatic mock-frown. “Oh, did he not phoneband you? Hm. I guess you’re not as adored by him as you think, huh?” His frown breaks into a grin.

  “So, is—is Walker okay?” I look forward.

  “Uncle Jonah is just fine. Only a few minor injuries. But I guess a few Defenders took a beating.”

  “Oh.” My guilt threatens to eat me alive. “I guess I should have given the Defenders the antitoxin before leaving Frankfort.”

  “That would have been the smart thing to do, yes.”

  I cringe. If they were vaccinated, they wouldn’t have been forced to give their lives for me. They could have had the choice to run. Instead they were still under compulsion to serve the chief—me—no matter the cost.

  “It would have happened anyway,” Rain mumbles.

  I look at him. “What?”

  “The Defenders. His eyes find mine, and they’re not mocking, but serious, his expression open. “They would have respected you enough to fight for you. Just like Chale.”

  I wait for his foul remark, his snide jab that always comes at the end of his dialogue toward me, but it never comes. And I don’t know what to make of it. My whole life has been me knowing what to expect, what to anticipate. It was easy with my brainless maid and brainless Defender. It was easy with Dad and Titus, who never changed.

  It was easy with Rain before he rescued me minutes ago.

  No matter how much Rain hurt me these past weeks, at least I knew what to anticipate. But he’ll bounce back to his old self. He’ll be reminded of the monster he thinks I am, and he’ll regret saving me.

  We walk another mile. Then two. A bead of sweat rolls down my spine, and I shrug my shoulders to speed it on its journey. I don’t think anyone’s chasing us anymore. They must not be that determined to get to me. Maybe they just wanted to blow up the antitoxin. No doubt, the politicians who agreed with Titus's way of thinking told the Patricians they would have to give up some of their comforts if the Proletariats were saved. Of course that wouldn’t sit too well with them. I grit my teeth. We have to get back to Frankfort before the politicians take it over and break Titus out of his prison. They don’t know where he’s held yet, but it might not be long before they figure it out.

  I take another step, nearly colliding into Rain. Irritation sweeps over me. I open my mouth to snap at him, ask him why he stopped when we’re kind of on the run, then I see it. The headstone. Ember’s headstone.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  AURORA

  For the first time in the past hour, I take in my surroundings. We’ve arrived at the apple orchard. The burnt out house sits in the distance. Black. Crumbling. A shell of what was once a home. Mother’s home. But something else surprises me about the orchard that was burnt to the ground months ago. Fresh blades of grass have begun to grow, bringing life back to the charred fields. Even the trees have begun sprouting new leaves.

  Hope.

  Hope looks like this.

  Like green, green, green sprouting up in the midst of black, black, black. Like a newborn leaf unfolding from a charred branch. Like life fighting its way back into the world, despite the death that tried so hard to take it down. My vision blurs and I blink back my tears, because it’s almost like Ember is sending me a message. Like this isn’t the end of the world, but the beginning.

  Hope.

  Rain falls to his knees in front of Ember’s headstone. Then he hunches over, covers his head, and a sob escapes him. My heart cracks open. There’s something moving about seeing a strong person cry. There’s something heartbreaking about seeing a put-together person shatter.

  We should keep moving. This is the last place we should stop—the first place the politicians would come looking for us. But seeing Rain fall apart in front me, I just…I can’t. I can’t tell him to stand up. I can’t expect him to carry on with life in this moment. And I know—I know—I should walk away, stand a good distance while he has his moment, but something in me moves, and before I can make a conscious decision, I’m kneeling in the grass beside him, my hands on his shoulders, holding him while he weeps. And I don’t know what it is about this moment in time that makes me want to comfort him and makes him trust me completely just minutes after he almost walked away and let me die, but to my surprise, he doesn’t pull away. His body racks with the sobs for I don’t know how long. Then he sits up and buries his face in his propped up knees. Chale stands a ways off, arms locked behind his back, pacing and keeping an eye out for followers. Such a good, loyal Defender. One I will most definitely promote when all this blows over.

  I read the words on the tombstone, inscribed by my own direction.

  EMBER CARTER, DELIVERER OF KY.

  The speck that grew into a flame that blew over an entire city.

  Oh Ember. If only you knew the waves you would create to bring change. Or maybe she did know. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t afraid to die.

  It’s twilight by the time we get moving again.

  “We should find shelter for the night,” I say. “And reserve our energy for the morning.”

  To my astonishment, Rain nods. “Why don’t we stay in Ember’s house?”

  I don’t know whether to laugh or snap at him for such a horrible joke, but his eyes tell me he’s not kidding. “Unless you want to compel someone to let us stay with them.”

  I look down. “I think I’m done compelling people.”

  We step into the shelled out cabin. This is the first time I’m in Ember’s house. I didn’t dare touch it
during her funeral, and haven’t made it out here any other time. The burnt floor creaks beneath my feet. The air smells old and stale. The fire pit is still functional, but we don’t build a fire for fear of spies seeing it. It’s a small home. The tiny kitchen and living room combined make up the space of my old bedroom. Two bedrooms branch off, but I don’t think I can handle seeing Ember’s bedroom. Rain seems to have the same idea, so we congregate in the living area. Through the window, I can see the stars just beginning to peek out, the sky darkening with the threat of a long night.

  “You get some sleep, Chale,” Rain says. “I’ll keep lookout until midnight, then we can switch.”

  “I can take third watch,” I say. “Midnight to three a.m.”

  Rain stares at me. “I might have saved you,” he says darkly. “But I still don’t trust you.”

  I grit my teeth and look away.

  “I’m gonna head out really quick,” Rain says. “But I’ll be back in an hour to pick up my shift.” He steps outside and heads down the road.

  “Where’s he going?” Chale asks.

  “Probably to visit Ember’s headstone one more time, this time without an annoying chief hovering over his shoulder.”

  Chale huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “I don’t understand what he has against you. You have nothing to fear with me, though, Chief.” His brown eyes are honest and open, searching mine as he speaks. “I trust you with my life.”

  I smile, his words warming my heart. “Thanks, Chale. That means more than you could possibly understand.” Some part of me aches for Chale. While the other citizens of Ky often find love and start families, Defenders don’t have that luxury. They’re always on duty, always moving from one county to another. Chale is older now, his hair specked with gray, but I could see him as a good father, a good husband. He would have made an excellent family man.

  His mouth opens in a yawn.

  “I can keep watch until Rain returns,” I say. “I know he said he doesn’t want me to, but I’m not tired at all, and you should get as much sleep as you can, if you’re going to keep watch for the second half of the night. We’re going to do a lot of walking tomorrow.”