Kill For You

by Michele Mills

  “Do you like it here?” Trevor asked.

  Rebel looked around. It was hard to make out details when the sun had just set. The light from the ATV headlights gave a bit of definition. “From what I can see, it’s nice, and I like how it’s so close to the farm, but why are we here?”

  “We found this house not long after we moved into the farm,” Trevor answered. He stepped off the ATV and took her hand, helping her down. “We went through each of the surrounding houses, checking to see if anyone was alive. Or if there was anything that would pose a danger to us. No survivors, everyone was dead, and no dangers, but we found this house, close to the farm. To get back to the farm from here you don’t even have to take the main road because we cut that piece of fence out and replaced it with a gate, so now you can just go straight through back to the farmhouse by walking or driving a cart or ATV.”

  “Wait, that gate back there, that wasn’t there before? You guys installed that? Wow.”

  “Yeah, we did.”

  They walked in silence for a few minutes toward the house.

  “Sebastian and Phoebe have a lot of stuff,” Trevor said suddenly.

  Rebel nodded. They certainly did. They had a long-haul truck parked on the edge of the west pasture, near the main house. It was huge. Once, Phoebe had given her a tour of the inside. It had been hard to see because everything was so cramped, but it looked like there was a treasure trove of amazing items they’d both saved from LA before they’d left. The moment she’d seen it, Rebel wanted to kick herself for not doing the same. She’d been so upset, in pain and so despondent at the end, not thinking clearly about the future. She’d gathered what she’d needed immediately and left Malibu and headed north, thinking that she’d come back eventually, but now she’d learned she would never be going back. Christian had told her how the nuclear reactors on the coast were ticking time bombs and could go off any moment. It wasn’t safe to go back to LA, ever.

  “They need somewhere else to store their stuff, somewhere where they can spread it out and keep it climate controlled.”

  “Oh, so they’re going to use this house as storage and park the truck out here?”

  “Maybe. Or they might move in instead, with Josie and put their things in the garage.”

  “Oh, really?” Rebel cracked a smile. “Are they still going to sleep in separate rooms?”

  Trevor laughed. “Up until the moment Sebastian grows some balls and tells the woman he loves how he feels about her.”

  Trevor’s words lingered in the air. They were both quiet for a moment, uncomfortable with the connotation. Trevor coughed. “Well, what I’m trying to say is we don’t know who’s going to live here yet. We know we need more space, but it hasn’t been decided yet who is going where.”

  “Why not?”

  “We’re waiting on you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yeah, you and Justin and now the other women. We don’t know if any of you are staying permanently and if you do stay, where you’ll want to live. We don’t know if the three women want to stay. We don’t want to make a decision unless all of you have a say in the matter. If you stay, we want to make sure everything is fair and everyone likes where they’re living.”

  “Oh.” That was kind of them. Really kind. Why did they all have to be so damn nice? Why couldn’t they all just be a bunch of assholes she was trying to get away from? That would make this so much easier.

  “If you did decide to stay, one option would be that you could live here, with me.”

  She turned to look at him. “With you, here? Like we’re married or something?”

  He moved close and took her in his arms. She loved it when he did that. So warm and comforting. His manly scent surrounded her—leather and coffee. Trevor loved his coffee, and she loved his coffee too. His amazing blue eyes sparkled as he stared down at her. “Don’t be scared,” he said.

  “What? I’m not scared of you.”

  He crooked an eyebrow.

  She placed a hand against the fabric of his dark T-shirt, feeling the warmth and hardness of his muscled chest through the fabric.

  “Why won’t you even consider staying?” he asked.

  “I can’t stay,” she answered honestly.

  He took a deep breath and swallowed. “I could go with you,” he offered. “Wherever you want to go, I could go there with you.”

  She stood frozen, like a deer caught in headlights, suddenly remembering a day, three years before, when she was younger and stupider, when she’d believed men when they made promises. Eric had said nearly the same thing to her that Trevor was saying. He’d said he loved her and, in a fancy, crowded restaurant in LA, publicly asked her to marry him. He’d slid a large diamond on her finger and she’d cried with joy. The paparazzi had gone crazy, taking pictures outside the restaurant window. They’d been on the cover of all the magazines. Eric was a musician with a popular band, so the public went crazy over their courtship. He promised he’d find a way to go where she did, work his life around hers so they could be together. It had been both magical and wonderful, one of the most romantic nights of her life. Like something straight out of one of her movies.

  In the end none of those things had happened.

  It was like one of her movies—just a story. Total fantasy and make-believe. Two months later, Eric had moved in with Rebel’s best friend, Evangelene, claiming he couldn’t help who he fell in love with. With tears in his eyes he’d told her that love was love. He had to follow his heart, right?

  She’d learned the brutal truth—if something seemed too good to be true, it probably was.

  Rebel was sure that Trevor felt deep feelings for her. She was certain that Eric had meant every word he’d said too. When Eric had asked her to marry him, he’d felt those emotions, felt love for her and passion and thought it would last forever. But it was temporary.

  She was getting in too deep with Trevor, and it would just hurt worse when he left. They’d meet other survivors. He’d see another woman who caught his eye and he’d be gone.

  Being a movie star didn’t mean she could keep the love of a partner. She’d noticed in her old life it was actually the opposite, it made it harder. Was a man with her for her or for the notoriety? For the money or for the connections? And now that the world had ended she still had these same fears, but they were slightly different. Was Trevor with her because there was no one else? Because there wasn’t any choice?

  “See, there it is, you look scared.”

  “Okay, I am scared,” she admitted. “But it’s because I’m afraid you’re making a proclamation you think is true now, but you’ll wish later you hadn’t made.”

  “What in the hell are you talking about? You think I won’t keep my word?”

  “No, no,” she backpedaled. “I think you really want to stay with me. I think you believe what you’re saying. Now.” She stopped, unable to continue without offending him more. “This is already more than I’ve ever gone with any man in years. More than maybe any man ever.”

  “What?”

  “This…this…where I sleep in your bed every night. Where we pretend that we’re living together. My clothes are in your closet! My toiletries are in your bathroom! You know how I like my coffee and you make it that way every morning.”

  “And…what’s wrong with that?” He grinned. “I don’t mind that you snore, you know. It’s cute.”

  “I don’t snore.”

  “You do and it’s damn cute. Sort of a series of snorts.”

  “We take showers together.”

  “I know, it’s great.”

  “Last night we made dinner in your kitchen, we washed dishes together and then went to bed early. Like we were a couple or something.”

  “Why is this bad?” He cupped her face with a rough hand. Her breath hitched. He looked deep into her eyes. “I care about you. You, Rebel Case. Not Rebel the movie star. I’m talking about Rebel, the woman in my bed. I want us to stay together. Here, or wherever you want to go
. I hope you feel the same way about me, too.”

  He’d said this to her several times now. Never wavering. Her eyes welled up with hot tears. “What about Justin?” she deflected.

  “You, me and Justin. I’ve already told you this, but I’ll repeat it a thousand times if I have to. I’ll go with the both of you, wherever you want.”

  Shit, there he went again, being so reasonable, so loyal. What the fuck?

  She placed both hands on his chest now, to ward him off. “Trevor, I…”

  “Don’t answer now, think about it. We need to talk about something else. I owe you an explanation about what happened earlier, about what Rachel told you. Come here.” He tugged her hand and led her over to the front steps of the house. He sat down on a creaky step and she sat next to him and leaned into the crook of his arm.

  The sun had fully set and the house and yard were dark. No street lights. No porchlight. Just the glow of the ATV headlights, offering a dim view of the front yard. A bird cooed in the distance. Rebel settled into the warmth of Trevor’s embrace, curious to hear what he had to say.

  “I had girlfriends in high school,” he told her, “but then in my twenties I discovered ménage and my whole world changed. I was really into it. I even joined a sex club for a while.”

  Rebel nodded. “I joined one too, in LA. Very exclusive. I only used a private room.”

  “It was there that I met Brad and Mariah. They were a married couple and I was their third.”

  “Did you enjoy that?”

  “Hell yes, it was perfect. I liked the long term. I enjoyed their company. We cared about each other. But I always knew they were the main couple, and this was fine with me. I was in the middle of my twenties, I was…gone a lot, busy with other things, and I kinda liked having a commitment that was so easy for me to maintain.”

  “How long were you guys together?”

  “Two years.”

  “You broke up?”

  “Yeah, I was gone for a while, and next thing I knew I’d been replaced by a new and improved model they’d found at the sex club. I thought they were into me, but it turned out I was easily replaceable.”

  “I’m sorry, Trevor. That must’ve hurt.”

  He shrugged. “It planted the seed in my mind that maybe the whole life I’d been living—not being attached to anyone and happy that I wasn’t weighed down by having someone for myself—was a load of crap. I used to think it was perfect, I was having my cake and eating it too, but the novelty began to wear off. The final decision on that came after Adam and Rachel.”

  “What happened with that?”

  “It’s pretty much like they said. It was the end of the world and Rachel was possibly the only woman left alive. So I did my best to get in on that.” He nudged her shoulder. “What do you think about that? Truthfully. That I had a threesome, more than once, with Adam and Rachel?”

  “I think I would’ve done the same thing if I were you. It was smart thinking. Like you said, for all you knew she was maybe the last woman on the planet left alive. You would’ve been left jacking off for the rest of your life, knowing they were banging in the room next door and you were odd man out.”

  “That’s exactly what I said. Even the part about jacking off alone.”

  She chuckled. “Well, so you guys ended it when Rachel got pregnant?”

  “Yeah, about that time. Also, they got married and drew closer in their relationship. Then a week later we got your message. And when I heard the voice of a woman, your voice…I instantly volunteered to come and meet you and bring you in on the off chance you were available.”

  “What would you have done if it had turned out Justin and I were madly in love? Or what if it turned out we were so different, you couldn’t stand me?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t want to think about that situation. There’s enough horror in the world as it is. I was grateful God had thrown me a bone, leaving you just for me. Like we were meant to be. I mean, what were the chances of me finding you, you being single even though you’d been living with another man, you even being alive, and also you were as hot for me as I am for you?”

  “So you think I’m a gift from God?” she laughed.

  “Pretty much.”

  “Oh, come on,” she teased. “You just want me because I’m one of the last women alive on earth so I seem all bright and shiny.”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “You want me because I’m a movie star.”

  “You were a movie star. Now you’re just Rebel. And no, that’s not why I want you.”

  “Bullshit. If there were more women here, you’d be encouraging me to go ahead and move into the RV with Justin so you could hook up with them.”

  “Sweetheart, more women did show up and I haven’t hooked up with any of them. And there are other men here and you’ve only had eyes for me.”

  Oh shit. He had a point.

  “I don’t only have eyes for you,” she muttered.

  He crooked an eyebrow.

  She felt the heat of a blush on her cheeks. “Dammit,” she burst out, totally embarrassed. “If I wasn’t a movie star, you wouldn’t give me the time of day.”

  “Nice try but no dice. You’re not a movie star anymore, you’re just Rebel, and you know I love you the way you are.” He moved in close and wrapped his arm around her, brushed his nose against hers in that way she totally fucking loved. In that way that caused her insides to melt and her heart to race. “And you love me the way I am, too, tats and all.”

  Her breath caught in her throat at his pronouncement. He loved her?

  No way.

  Oh fuck, he was right. She totally did love this big, tattooed guy. But goddamn it. She put her hands on his chest and pressed, pushing him back. “You’ve only known me for a week,” she whispered. “Justin is still sick. He’s getting better, but he’s still out of it. Wait until you know me better, when you know Justin.”

  “I don’t need to wait. I know what I want. It’s up to you and Justin to decide if you want me. You’re right, there’s no need to make this decision now. Let’s wait until Justin gets better. This gives me more time to convince you that you need to stay.”

  She grinned allowing herself the brief fantasy that she did stay with Trevor. That she stayed on the farm and told him about the baby she was carrying and he was overjoyed and they could become a family.

  The baby.

  Her wishful thoughts came to a screeching halt. No, she was on her own with this. The only person she could possibly count on was Justin. Trevor was a lovely fantasy, nothing more. Justin would wake soon, she’d tell him about the baby and about how she needed to go back to Carmel, and they’d leave as early as next week. She didn’t yet know what Krissy’s plans were or if Kati and Tiana wanted to stay or leave. But if they wanted to come to Carmel too, they were more than welcome. She couldn’t imagine Justin rejecting the idea of the three women joining them.

  Next week this visitation would be all over and she would be back in her home on the coast, taking care of herself and her baby, keeping in touch with her new-found friends with a ham radio.

  That was reality.

  “I like your friends,” she blurted out, deliberately trying to change the subject.

  “You do?” he laughed.

  “Mmm-mmh,” Rebel answered. “I think my secret favorite though is—”she lowered her voice to a whisper—“Phoebe. Shh, don’t tell anyone.” She smiled.

  “Why Phoebe?”

  “I like her style. She reminds me of the personal stylist I had back home. She’s like someone I would have hung with in my normal life.”

  “What about Rachel?”

  “Rachel? She’s sweet. I like her too. She young, enthusiastic. Adam, he’s like Schwarzenegger. Like an action movie star. I thought that the moment I met him. In my head I call Christian and Sebastian ‘the brooding boys.’”

  “Brooding? Why?”

  “They’re both quieter. You’re the life of the party.
Adam is your partner in crime. Christian and Sebastian are both a little quieter, pensive, like they’ve got the weight of the world on their shoulders.”

  “They do.”

  “To me, Christian looks like a cross between a geeky scientist and the Kardashian’s younger brother. Sebastian is a Bollywood star. An Indian Raj.”

  “True.”

  “Who would play Phoebe in a movie?”

  “Phoebe? Hmmm, Lucy Liu? No. Shoot, I can’t think of anyone. We’d have to send out a casting call, find someone new…”

  “And who am I like? How would you cast me?”

  “You? Well, you’re like a cross between Jax from Sons of Anarchy, Josh Holloway in Lost,” she said, touching his scruffy dimples. “And Robert Redford from The Way We Were.”

  “Robert Redford? I never saw that movie.”

  “Hmm,” she sighed as she moved a bit of his hair off his forehead and to the side.

  “What happens at the end?”

  “They love each other, but they can’t stay together,” she whispered.

  He caught her wrist, holding tight. “You think we’re breaking up?”

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I truthfully don’t know.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  “It’s Fourth of July, Rebel!” Josie shouted.

  Rebel smiled at the little girl. It was morning, after breakfast, and they were both sitting alone in the front room of the RV. This was a miracle because usually either Phoebe, Sebastian, Kati or Tiana seemed to be fighting for Josie’s time. But they had all gone elsewhere, including Trevor, and it was just Rebel and the little girl left in the RV with the sick patient.

  Justin was asleep again, for what seemed like the one millionth time.

  Josie was wearing jean shorts, a blue T-shirt and sandals, her caramel hair in a long braid. Rebel was wearing shorts too, and they were her own clothes, clothes she’d carefully packed before she’d left her house in Malibu, and her Nevertheless, She Persisted pink T shirt. Comfortable clothes she liked to wear in her old life. She was so grateful she’d had the foresight to take them. It was one bit of normalcy in her fucked up world.