Finding Forever (Living Again #4)

by L. L. Collins

  She turned her head, her eyes meeting his. “I was twelve. She had breast cancer that spread.” He was right, she was around his age. He wanted to ask her a million different questions, but knew this was not the time.

  Brant couldn’t empathize, he had never known anyone closely that had cancer, but he could only imagine how hard it would be to have to deal with such a difficult thing as a child. “Who’s Aubrey?”

  She looked back over his shoulder, then back at him. “My little sister. She’s supposed to be meeting me here, but she must be late.” She pulled away from his touch and wrapped her arms around herself. “T-thanks, but I’ll be okay. And I need to find out where Aubrey is.”

  He knew a dismissal when he saw one, and he wasn’t in the business of pushing beautiful women. He smiled, wondering why he wanted to stay. “Thanks again for taking care of Max today. I’ll see you tomorrow at the office.” She nodded, and he turned to walk away.

  As he moved away from her, he saw what could only be her sister walking briskly towards her, two bouquets of flowers in her hand. She resembled Lacey, with the same dark hair and light eyes, but he didn’t feel the same pull towards her. She was petite, while Lacey was tall, and Lacey’s curves couldn’t be hidden by her scrubs or the jeans she was wearing.

  Aubrey glanced at him as he walked past her, but said nothing, her eyes back on her sister. He stopped a safe distance away and watched the sisters embrace, then saw the unmistakable signs of crying, both of their shoulders shaking as they held onto each other.

  “Happy Birthday, Lacey,” Aubrey finally choked out, handing her one of the bouquets. “I got you and mom matching flowers.”

  It was her birthday? Her mom had died on her birthday? His heart clutched. As if losing your parent as a kid wasn’t bad enough, now every year she had to mourn her own birthday? Dr. Lacey Russell was twenty-six years old today, if his math was correct.

  He couldn’t explain the urge he had to walk back to the two women, wrap Lacey in his arms, and tell her that her mom would’ve wanted her to celebrate her birthday. He wondered how many years it had been since she had done anything for herself on this day, and vowed that when he saw her tomorrow, he would make her feel special, whether she wanted it or not. He decided not to overthink his reaction to the vet, telling himself that he just wanted to make her feel better.

  “You’re late,” Evan joked, sliding a beer across the bar at Brant.

  “Thanks, and sorry. I got held up,” Brant said, avoiding the questions he knew Evan was going to ask.

  “So how’s the big beast?”

  Brant chuckled at Evan’s description of Max. “Thankfully he should be okay. I’m going to be honest, it’ll be weird without him tonight at the house. Maybe I shouldn’t go home.”

  Evan indicated the mass of people around them. “Well, I’m sure you could find many willing partners to take you home tonight.”

  Brant shook his head, sipping his beer. There was no way he could be with anyone tonight, not after the turmoil he was already in over Max and Lacey.

  “Is Brant Tucker saying no to the ladies? Oh, I hear all of them crying right now.” Evan cupped his ear, nodding like he was hearing the crying, and Brant laughed.

  “I meant more like crashing at your place, not going home with some random girl.”

  Evan shook his head. “Well maybe I have a plan to take home one of these fine women tonight, so then you’d be SOL.”

  Brant didn’t answer, and he felt Evan examining him. “What is it?”

  He shrugged, looking away and watching the amber liquid in his beer slosh from side to side.

  “This is more than Max,” Evan mused. “I’ve known you a long time, bro. This has women trouble written all over it. Who is she?”

  Brant ignored him for a moment as the waitress took their food order, but he knew that was as long as he would get. Evan was nothing if he wasn’t relentless.

  “Well, today when I took Max to the vet, I met this doctor…”

  Aubrey and Lacey sat for a long time next to the water, talking about the things they remembered about their mom while throwing the flowers into the water for her.

  “Remember that time when we were moving, and Dad asked Mom to help him move the mattress out? She thought he said push and he said pull, and she knocked him over with the mattress and we all laughed for hours.”

  “Yes,” Aubrey giggled. “Remember that time I wanted to make pancakes for mom on her birthday? I was only five, and I thought I could do it myself.”

  Lacey laughed, holding her stomach in laughter. “I’ve never seen such a mess in all my life. There was flour, milk, and eggs, all over the kitchen. I think Mom and Dad found parts of that for months.”

  “Mom didn’t even get mad,” Aubrey reminisced. “She just gave me that ‘look’ and said, ‘Aubrey, thank you for my birthday breakfast. Next time can you ask Lacey or Daddy for help?’”

  The sisters fell into comfortable silence, each of them thinking of the things they loved most about their mom.

  “I hope I’m a mom like her,” Aubrey murmured, and Lacey flicked her eyes up to hers.

  “I don’t,” Lacey said.

  “Lacey,” Aubrey’s tone warned. “Stop saying that stuff.”

  “It’s too painful, Aubrey. Look at what has happened to Dad. After Mom died, he ceased to exist. He wasn’t there for us, not really. And even to this day, he’s a shell of himself. Look at him. What do you think he’s doing today? He can’t move on from her, not even for us. It was like we lost two parents that day. I don’t ever want to take the chance of that happening to me.”

  Aubrey sighed. “Lacey, you can’t compare. What Dad’s reaction was and continues to be doesn’t mean that’s what would always happen. And we can’t predict the future. Just because you find someone and have a family doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen to you or them.”

  Lacey stood up, brushing the grass from her backside. “I can’t take that chance. I’ve got all I need.”

  Aubrey followed. “And what’s that, Lace?”

  She narrowed her eyes at her sister, tired of this same conversation. “I have you, Sam, my other friends, my job, and I have Maggie and Sophie.”

  “Your dogs? I swear, Lace, you better not turn into the crazy cat and dog lady. That isn’t enough.”

  “Aubrey,” Lacey warned. “I don’t want to fight with you. Just because you’re happy with Jacob and want to get married and have a family doesn’t mean that your dream is somehow better than mine. I’m happy, Aub. Content.”

  “I just hate that you are so jaded. I’m sorry you had to take care of me after mom died, Lace. And that you were forced to be the adult in the house when Dad kind of went off the deep end. It changed you. I always wonder…”

  “Don’t,” Lacey interrupted. “I took care of you because I love you. You’re my sister. Did I want to be an adult at the age of twelve? No. But all things happen for a reason, right? I had my family already. Now it’s time for me to take care of me.”

  Lacey linked her arm with her sisters, turning back one more time to look at the water, the waves rippling gently onto the shore. The last remains of the flowers bobbed away in the current, and Lacey sighed.

  “We love you, Mom, and miss you.”

  Dropping her keys on the island in her small kitchen, Lacey bent down to pet Maggie and Sophie, who were both circling her feet waiting for attention. She had adopted both of them while she was interning at the animal shelter during college. They were both mutts, mixes of many different types of dogs, and were her little loves.

  Grabbing a soda from the fridge and popping a frozen dinner in the microwave, Lacey flipped through the mail, her mind going back through the events of today. Her twenty-sixth birthday. For the first time, she had most everything she had dreamed of. Her own house, her dream job, her friends and sister. Though today was sad, sitting by the river made her feel like her mom was there, and it made her feel peace.

  Just as the m
icrowave beeped with her dinner, her phone rang. It was Sam. She was down in Florida at her beach house with her new baby, Kerri, her husband Ellis, and their teenage son, Mason. Lacey wanted to be there badly but couldn’t leave, since she was new to her job.

  “Super Star,” Lacey said, her nickname for Sam.

  “Lace! Happy Birthday, you old lady!” Sam’s voice put the first genuine smile of the day on her face.

  “Thanks, Sam. I miss you! How’s Florida?”

  “Hot! But Mason and Ellis are enjoying the last few days before we head back.”

  “How’s my baby girl?”

  As if on cue, Lacey heard the distinct cries of a newborn, and she smiled. “Hey, Kerri. You hear your Aunt Lacey?”

  “She’s fussy today,” Sam sighed. “I’m exhausted, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I can’t wait to see you in a few days! I have to get in the studio not long after I get back and have a local photo shoot, but first, girl’s time.”

  “No rest for the mega super star, huh?”

  Sam laughed. “Sometimes it’s still ridiculous to think that this is my life. Did you know that People magazine contacted my agent and wants exclusive pictures of Kerrigan for an ungodly amount of money? I mean, really? Someone wants to buy my baby pictures to run in a magazine?”

  Lacey’s mouth dropped open. “Are you going to do it?”

  “I don’t know. My initial reaction is to protect Kerri from the media scrutiny, but unfortunately, she’s going to grow up in it. They want to come to Nashville and do a family photo shoot when we return. Ellis and I are thinking about it. So, how are you today, really?”

  The good thing about knowing Sam most of their lives was, Lacey didn’t have to pretend. Sam knew how hard this day was for her, because Sam had been there for Lacey all along. She was there the day that her mom took her last breath, holding Lacey as her body shook with so many sobs she thought it would never stop. She was there when they put her mom’s ashes in the river, and for most of the years after that.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you today, Lace,” Sam’s voice cracked. “I hate that I wasn’t.”

  “Sam,” Lacey said, tears filling her eyes again. “It’s okay. Aubrey and I went to the river. I just got home, actually.”

  “Did you talk to your dad today?”

  “No. I need to call him. You know he never goes to the river with us. He’s probably sitting in his chair at home, drowning himself in a twelve pack.”

  “So tell me about work. How’s it going? Any interesting patients so far?”

  An image of Brant Tucker immediately flashed in front of her eyes, and she knew there was no way she could keep that from Sam. She was the only person who would listen and not try to marry her off by the time she was done.

  “Well, funny you should ask. Today, I treated this Rottweiler named Max, who was hit by a car.”

  Sam gasped, and Lacey heard small cries coming from Kerri. “It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s right here. Lace, is the dog okay?”

  “He should be okay. Dr. Jenkins let me take the lead on the surgery, and that was phenomenal. He really believes in me.”

  “Well, no kidding. You’re awesome and talented, why wouldn’t he?”

  “And you’re biased, and I love it,” Lacey answered. “And then I met Max’s owner…”

  “Ooh, this sounds like a story,” Sam laughed. “Hang on. I’m giving a fussy Kerri to her daddy.” Lacey listened as Sam handed the baby off to her husband, then a door shut and there was silence. “Ahhh… peace. Okay, shoot. Tell me about the owner. I assume this is a hot man and not some shriveled up old geezer.”

  “Samantha Warner!” Lacey laughed, and Sam joined in. “And yes, you would be correct. His name is Brant Tucker.”

  “Hmmm,” Sam murmured. “Sounds hot already. Spill it. You wouldn’t be telling me this if it wasn’t something epic.”

  Lacey sat back, her dinner forgotten, and told Sam everything, from the moment she started talking to Brant to the coincidental meeting at the river. She would’ve felt foolish telling anyone else about this, but once she started talking, she couldn’t stop.

  “Lacey Russell,” Sam breathed when she was done. “Is this guy getting under your skin?”

  “I don’t know, Sam,” Lacey admitted. “I’m attracted to him, and I would say that he is to me, as well. I don’t know anything about him, other than he has a dog he loves more than anything. But, there was something about him… I just shouldn’t…”

  “Lacey,” Sam interrupted. “You know that I get all of your reasons behind your opinion on relationships. I’m here for you, always. But sometimes, the more you fight against the very thing you need, the more apparent it becomes that something is missing. Is it possible that maybe you are admitting these feelings for Brant because deep down you aren’t quite as satisfied as you thought you were?”

  Lacey didn’t answer, tears streaking down her face. Sam sat quietly, allowing Lacey to soak that in for a few moments before continuing. “Do you believe that your mom is looking out for you?”

  “Yes,” Lacey choked out. Maggie and Sophie jumped up on her lap, understanding her. She stroked them as she listened.

  “So do you think it’s possible that meeting Brant today was your mom’s way of showing you that it’s okay, Lace?”

  “Sam,” Lacey cried, her throat so thick with tears that she could barely get her name out.

  “It doesn’t have to be him, Lacey. I’m not saying he’s your soul mate. You know that I have to grill him up one side and down another to deem that he’s acceptable for my best friend. But, sometimes there are signs in our life that are right there for us that we don’t want to see, and we can miss them if we aren’t careful. I know for a fact that your mom would want you to live the life you were meant to live before she died, whether that means sharing your life with someone or not. She only wants you to be happy, Lacey.”

  Lacey breathed out, her head pounding from the amount of tears she had shed that day. Sam was right; she knew she was. But she still wasn’t sure that it was her destiny to get married and have kids. She had spent the last fourteen years telling herself the exact opposite. And in one day, one good looking guy turned her beliefs upside down? But she knew it was way more than his looks. She thought back to the way he talked to Max, touched him, and the same way he looked at and touched her when she was crying at the river. She knew next to nothing about him, but he had made her feel more emotion than she had felt with a man in… well, forever.

  “Lace,” Sam whispered. “I wish I was there right now. You need so much more than your terrible best friend making you cry over the phone.”

  Lacey laughed. “Sam, I love you so much. You know I needed to hear all of that. Thank you for always being here for me, no matter what, and kicking me in the tail when I need it.”

  “So you’re going to see him tomorrow?”

  “He’ll be at the office when it opens, I’m sure.”

  “It sounds like he’s just as in to you as you were to him,” Sam mused. “So see what happens tomorrow. Don’t be quick to close the door. Be his friend. You’re a vet, and he has an injured dog. You’re a smart girl; use that. And if it feels right to move forward, then do it. You owe it to yourself. But remember that I’ll be back in a few days and he must be best friend approved first.”

  “Oh yes, I remember. Remember when you were out on your first tour and you saw the picture of Ellis and sent it to me? That was all the approval this best friend needed.”

  Sam giggled. “How could I forget? I wake up next to that sexy man every day now. Speaking of, I hear Kerri crying again. Probably time to eat. Are you okay, Lace?”

  Lacey smiled, knowing she was. She truly was. “Yes. Thank you, Sam. You’re the best kind of best friend anyone could ever want, and you’re mine.”

  “Call me tomorrow after you get home from work,” she instructed. “Love you.”

  Lacey disconnected the call after agreeing to call her tomorrow, and
lay her head back against the chair. Her dinner was stone cold now, but she couldn’t eat anyway. Her stomach was in knots. Deciding she needed something stronger, she traded her soda for a glass of red wine and headed for her bathtub.

  “I miss you, Mom,” she whispered. “But maybe Sam’s right. Maybe everyone has been right all along. But could you go tell Dad that, too? He needs you.”

  Lacey knew she needed to call her dad, and she would. But as she sank herself into the bubbles, her eyes closed and all she saw was a tall, muscular, dirty-blonde haired man with a dog named Max.

  He reached his hand out and smacked the offensive sound, groaning. He had hardly slept a wink last night. When the sound started up again, he pulled the pillow off his face and blinked against the sunlight. Realizing almost too late that it was his phone ringing, he picked up the ear-shattering object.

  Seeing it was Brooke, he hit accept. “Mornin’,” he rumbled.

  “Brant! I just heard about Max! Why didn’t you call me?” He had called both of his sisters. He couldn’t help it that Heather was the one that answered.

  “I called you and left a message.”

  “Oh, pfft. I never check those. Heather just told me. Is he okay?”

  Brant swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his hand over his face. He felt like he hadn’t slept at all, possibly because he had tossed and turned all night after having too many beers and thinking too much. “He should be. I’m going to see him this morning. As long as he doesn’t get an infection, he’ll be fine. That’s why he’s going to stay at the vet at least through today.”

  “Wow,” she said. “I’m so glad he’s okay. Keep us updated, okay?”

  “I will,” Brant promised, hanging up the phone. He looked at the clock. Nine in the morning. Well, apparently he had gotten some sleep, after all. He stood up, bee lining it for the bathroom so he could get ready to go see Max. He was probably already awake and looking for him, and here he was, sleeping in.