TAC Boot Camp

by Richard Pinkerton

Tucker felt good. He had already converted five more juniors into Nessanism and got verbal agreements from them all to pay 50% of their lunches as a tithe. He would have to think about where the Church of the Goddess would hold its meetings as he hoped to get them going there at the school. Perhaps one of the teachers would let them use one of the classrooms.

  He smirked when he thought about Trent Nord. The poor sod thought he was in danger from Rex. Who knows, maybe he was and maybe Rex really would beat the stuffing out of him, but Tucker didn’t really care. He was just happy to be receiving the fee for his services. The extra twenty bucks a week would do wonders for his digestive system. It was too good an offer to pass up.

  How to deliver his side of the bargain? That would prove to be tricky, but it didn’t matter. All Tucker could think about was the goodies he would be able to purchase from the tuck shop each week. Anyway, so what about the deal? This was some snivelling little thirteen-year-old. There was nothing he could do if Tucker reneged on the deal. He could pretend to be the kid’s bodyguard. Keep collecting the dosh and do nothing. He would just make sure that he wasn’t around when Rex decided to beat the kid to a pulp.

  He sat in art class with the Nessanomicon in front of him. He was supposed to be working on a spontaneous drawing, but was more interested in coming up with the Commandments of the Goddess. He studied the ones that he had.

  Thou shalt have no other gods before the goddess, Vanessa

  Thou shalt gaze at photographs of the Goddess in worship for at least half an hour every day.

  Thou shalt never uttereth the name of the evil one.

  Thou shalt give 50% of all thy food to the Emissary

  Thou shalt honour the Emissary by doing everything he commandeth.

  Thou shalt not covet the Emissary’s food

  They were great so far. He just needed to come up with a few more. After all, the Six Commandments just didn’t have the right ring to it.

  ‘Hey, Tucker, how’s your drawing going?’ Shawn Healer sat down beside him. ‘What you doing?’

  ‘None of your business!’ He glared at his skinny bucktoothed classmate.

  ‘I had to start doing my drawing all over again.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because Mr Browneye was complaining that too many people were drawing pictures of Vanessa. He said they weren’t being spontaneous enough. But when all you see are visions of her, what does he expect?’

  ‘Hmph!’ Tucker rolled his eyes, wishing Shawn would just leave him alone. ‘You’re hardly worthy to draw an image of the daughter of Aphrodite. Anything you draw would be a total abomination and deeply offensive to the Goddess.’

  ‘Yeah, you’re probably right. I mean how can anyone do her justice right?’

  ‘Exactly!’

  ‘She’s flawless.’

  ‘Exactly!’

  ‘Although I did see this pimple on her chin once. A really small one. A tiny speck really, hardly noticeable. It was gone the next day.’

  Tucker turned to face Shawn, righteous indignation welling up inside him. ‘You dare suggest that the Goddess is not perfect?’

  Shawn flinched and moved back on his seat. ‘No. I was just saying, that’s all...’

  ‘The Goddess is holy and pure. No pimple would ever appear on such perfection. You are a blasphemer! You need to repent now and get your life right with the Goddess.’

  Shawn’s face paled. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘You infidel. You are not worthy to share this school with her.’ He grabbed him roughly by the shirt, causing him to cry out. ‘I ought to...’

  ‘Tucker! What the hell are you doing?’ Mr Brownley, their hippy art teacher barged up and glared at him, sending a shiver down his spine. He could look very fearsome in his bushy beard. ‘Why aren’t you working? What’s that crap you’re doing there?’

  ‘Um... err...’ Tucker tried to hide his papers with his drawing paper, which so far only had a few unidentifiable scribbles on it. ‘I was just taking notes.’

  ‘What notes?’

  ‘Just a plan on how I can do my drawing.’

  ‘It wouldn’t be a spontaneous drawing if you planned it! Give me a look!’ The forty-two year old Englishman pushed Tucker’s paper aside to see his notebook and frowned. He picked it up and flicked through a few pages. ‘What the hell? My God, I know she’s stunning, but you guys seem to be treating Vanessa like she’s a goddess or something.’

  ‘She is!’

  Mr Brownley sighed and dropped the Nessanomicon down. ‘Give me a break! If it wasn’t bad enough all the girls being obsessed with Rex Cassidy, now we have all the boys being obsessed with Vanessa Dante. I'm about to give up on getting you lot to do spontaneous drawings.’ He sighed again. ‘I guess I can’t blame you, but still, that’s no excuse for bullying. Mr Harris has commanded that any misbehaviour be punished with an exercise routine. Tucker, get down and give me 10 push-ups... better make that sit-ups. Come on!’

  Tucker groaned, climbed off his stool and sat on the ground where he proceeded to attempt ten very painful sit-ups.

  ‘Bloody Mr Harris!’ Tucker grumbled to himself after class had finished. ‘PE in Art class as well now? Doesn’t he make us suffer enough?’

  At least school had finished for the day, so one lot of Hell was over. Unfortunately, he still had to go to work.

  He headed towards his locker block and was greeted cheerfully by Trent who ran up beside him. ‘Hi!’

  Tucker groaned. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘You heading for C Block?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  They had not gone three steps when a female’s voice called out in their direction. ‘Hey look girls, it’s that pervert I was telling you about.’ It was Jacqui Donaldson and she and her friends moved immediately in their direction.

  At first Tucker thought they were referring to him, but their eyes were on Trent, who paled at the deep frowns on their faces. Tucker’s first thought was that Rex might be around, but on quick inspection, he didn’t see him. The only possible threat was Wal who stood leaning against one of the walkway posts watching curiously.

  ‘What a little creep,’ said one of the others. ‘Having your buddy take a photograph of you, while pretending to fall on top of Vanessa.’

  ‘It was an accident!’ he appealed. ‘I didn’t know he had a camera. I didn’t know he would post a picture on the notice boards.’

  Wal stepped forward, an icy glare on his face. ‘Want me to clip his ears?’

  ‘Oh, what a hero,’ Jacqui snorted. ‘We can deal with this.’ She turned back to Trent. ‘You’re a real little perve, aren’t you?’

  Tucker couldn’t help but feel amused by the pale look on Trent’s face. It was a pleasure to be able to see someone else getting hassled for a change, rather than him. The other girls looked on coldly, some making derogatory comments of their own about Trent.

  ‘We should hang him up on a hook to teach him a lesson,’ one advised.

  ‘We should,’ Jacqui agreed.

  Trent’s knees were almost shaking and he glanced sideways at Tucker every few seconds.

  ‘Did you have a good feel, did you?’ one of the girls said.

  ‘Pervert!’

  ‘You’re lucky Rex hasn’t caught up with you yet,’ Jacqui said. ‘You’re just lucky he’s a busy guy. I hope that he punches your lights out.’

  ‘He... he can’t.’ Trent glanced Tucker’s way again.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I... I’ve got a bodyguard.’ He peered directly at Tucker this time.

  Tucker cringed as soon as he said that. It had completely slipped his mind that Trent may require some kind of support from him.

  Immediately everyone burst out laughing.

  ‘Oh yeah?’ Wal scoffed. ‘And who’s that?’

  Tucker didn’t hang around to hear the rest. He hurried along the path in the direction of C Block as quickly as his tubby legs could carry him. He didn’t look back
for fear of having to suffer cruel taunts.

  He reached C Block and collected his bag, determined to make himself scarce before Trent came looking for him. He hoped the girls and Wal would detain him a little longer so that he could make a clean getaway. As soon as he reached the exit again, he was accosted by Trent.

  ‘Hey Tucker! Wait up!’

  ‘What do you want now?’

  ‘I’m paying you 20 bucks to be my bodyguard!’

  ‘Yeah, so what, ubbhead?’

  ‘You took off! I could have been beaten up back there.’

  ‘What, you want me to protect you from a bunch of girls?’

  ‘What about Will Ullman?’

  ‘Hey! You’re paying me to protect you against Cassidy, not Ullman! Why should I get my hands dirty when I’m not being paid for it? Besides, you haven’t even paid me for this week yet!’

  Trent hung his head. ‘I guess.’

  ‘Make your first payment and then you can bank on my protection. But only against Cassidy! The Goddess would be unhappy if I went around beating the crap out of every person who hassled you.’

  Tucker left the school grounds, pleased with how he had handled Trent. The little sap would continue to pay him and all Tucker had to do was make sure he wasn’t around when the kid needed him. It was a foolproof plan.

  Dinner was late, so he arrived at work fifteen minutes later. On arrival, he came across the bartender, Rod Williams who greeted him with a smirk. ‘I hear you got docked some more money from your pay for broken glasses?’

  That was the last thing he wanted to be reminded of. It was hard enough to keep enough money to give to his mother, without losing more because of accidents. ‘It’s not my fault. Tom always orders the more slippery variety of glasses. I reckon it’s so that people will be more likely to spill their drinks and they’ll have to buy more.’

  ‘Yeah, whatever... Hey Tucks... you going to the Bulls game on Friday?’

  ‘I wish. But I have to go to school.’

  ‘Why don’t you skip?’

  ‘Because my mum would kill me.’ He shuddered to think the tantrum she would throw if she found out he’d played hooky.

  ‘I got a spare ticket for the game. Me and my buddies are going, but one had to pull out. Wanna come?’

  The idea of going to a rugby match was very appealing to Tucker, but the price to pay seemed quite steep and he really didn’t think he wanted to hang out with Rod and his “buddies”. ‘Gee, I don’t know...’

  ‘Ah come on Tucker, I thought you were hard. I thought you were the rebel, man. Seems like really you’re a goody-two-shoes.’

  ‘Your buddies won’t want me around.’

  ‘Ah, come on, you’ll be good for a laugh. Don’t tell me you’re chicken shit? I thought you were more of a man.’

  ‘I am!’

  ‘Then come. Meet us here at 1pm. We’ll be back in time for work.’

  ‘I...’

  Tom, the tavern chef, bowled into the room. ‘Ah, there you are Pyles! Late again! When will you get it through your thick skull that you need to be here on time? I’ve about had enough and Rita has agreed that if you can’t get it together you’re out.’

  Rita, Tucker’s boss had been so nice to him, giving him this job and he really didn’t want to disappoint her. ‘I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.’

  ‘You always say that!’ Tom barged back out.

  Tucker turned his head back to face Rod who again had a smirk on his face. ‘Looks like you can’t stop getting into the poo, can ya, Pyles?’

  The thought of upsetting Tom and Rita plagued on his mind even more when he thought about Rod’s offer. ‘If we’re late back from the game, I’ll be dead meat.’

  Rod snickered. ‘Would I let that happen, pal?’

  ‘I hope not.’

  ‘Of course not! Remember I have to be here on time too.’

  ‘I guess.’

  ‘So, you’ll be here at 1pm on Friday?’

  ‘Err... yeah... ok...’ Tucker still wasn’t convinced, but it would be cool to be able to brag to his friends about his escapade.

  Rod scowled. ‘You better be. I paid good money for this other ticket and I don’t want it wasted and I don’t like it when people tell me they’re gonna do something, but don’t. It really pisses me off.’

  ‘I’ll be there.’

  Rod’s scowl turned to a smile. ‘Good. It’s gonna be a great game.’ He chuckled and headed back to the bar.