TAC Boot Camp

by Richard Pinkerton

CHAPTER 17:

  The Church of the goddess

  ‘Ok, everything’s ready.’

  Tucker had managed to get permission to use a room in D Block at lunchtime for what he said was a Bible Study. He couldn’t very well claim it was for a new religion called Nessanism, as he would quickly have been refused permission to use it. It was a maths class, so there were maths related posters on the wall, which Tucker hated, but he could hardly replace them with pictures of Vanessa, especially considering he had so few. All the desks were normally set out individually around the room, facing the front. He, Ash and Hew had moved some of them off to the side and placed chairs in a circle, where they could hold their meeting.

  Ash and Hew were there chiefly to keep order and to ensure that all the rules were followed by his followers. Tucker had made it quite clear though, that they were not to make jokes and were most definitely not to mock him or the other Nessanists.

  ‘Shall we open the doors, Tucker?’ Hew asked. ‘Some guys are already waiting outside.’

  ‘Hold on,’ Tucker said. ‘I think we should charge two dollars instead of just one for entry.’

  ‘Come on, Tucker, we already discussed that,’ Hew said. ‘Nobody is going to wanna pay anyway. They’ll definitely refuse if you charge them two bucks.’

  ‘But I need it,’ Tucker whined. ‘Without my job, I need to have some money coming in from somewhere.’

  ‘Well it ain’t gonna be here.’

  ‘Alright, alright, one buck, but make sure no one runs away when they find out they have to pay for entry.’

  Tucker sat down, waiting for the flood of Vanessa devotees to enter. His mind went to Rod and how he wished he could teach him a lesson for costing him his job. He’d still not told his parents yet and didn’t know how he would. Perhaps he could use his role as the Emissary to the Goddess to make money, after all religion made a lot of people rich, so why not him?

  He checked his pile of signed Vanessa photographs. He had got Hew to scan the image into his father’s computer and print out around 50 colour copies of it. He had then signed the photographs himself – “The goddess, Vanessa”. He just hoped that his disciples would believe the signature was authentic.

  ‘I’m not paying to come to this stupid meeting!’ one of the boys at the door complained.

  There was a chorus of agreement from the others.

  ‘There are signed photographs of Vanessa available,’ Hew said, shaking an empty jar.

  This brought a few murmurs from those outside and a few drifted in, dropping loose change into Hew’s jar.

  Ash grabbed another who was about to leave. ‘Anyone who walks suffers the consequences!’

  This threat brought an influx of boys, each putting in their dollar into the jar. Only a few remained, claiming to have no money on them.

  ‘Tough!’ Colin growled. ‘Come back next week.’

  By the time they had finished, there were ten boys, mainly juniors assembled in the room, sitting on chairs. Half the chairs were still vacant though, which disappointed Tucker.

  ‘I ought to warn you,’ Tucker stood in front of them all. ‘I… I mean the Goddess will not bless anyone who is not willing to sacrifice a small amount of money to Nessanism. It cost twenty dollars to hire this room just for this lunch hour.’

  ‘What?’ scoffed one of the juniors. ‘Who are you trying to kid?’

  Ash grabbed him by the shirt roughly, while Tucker stepped over and delivered a piercing stare. ‘You dare come into this church and blaspheme the holy name of the Goddess?’

  ‘I didn’t blaspheme!’

  ‘Any time you accuse the Emissary, the Goddess’s chosen one, of lying you are blaspheming and we do not tolerate blasphemers. If it happens again, you will be fined five dollars.’

  ‘You can’t do that!’

  Ash shook him by the shirt. ‘Oh yes he can!’

  ‘It is written in the Nessanomicon… well actually, it will be written, in Chapter 5 verse 7. Those who love the Goddess will prove they love the Goddess by contributing financially to the Church of the Goddess.’ Tucker glanced from one member of his church to the next. ‘And THIS is the Church of the Goddess. Got it?’

  Those sitting there murmured in reluctant agreement.

  ‘Is that the best you can do?’ Tucker growled. ‘Remember, this is still Boot Camp and respect is required especially when it comes to the daughter of Aphrodite. So, when you agree, you will say “Praise Vanessa!” Got it?’

  A few of them murmured in agreement.

  ‘Sorry, what did you all say?’ Tucker growled.

  ‘Praise Vanessa!’ one called out.

  ‘Praise Vanessa!’ all the others parroted.

  ‘That’s more like it.

  Trent, one of the so-called worshipers, raised his hand.

  ‘Yes, Brother Trent.’

  ‘When do we get the autographed photos?’

  ‘When I say so!’

  ‘Are they really autographed by Vanessa?’ asked another.

  ‘Of course, they are!’ Tucker growled. ‘Are you accusing me of lying again?’

  ‘No.’ The junior quickly shook his head.

  ‘Can we have our photographs now, please?’ asked another. ‘It will give us something to look at while the meeting’s on. We’re supposed to look at pictures of her for half an hour each day, right? It’s one of the Six Commandments.’

  Tucker grumbled, ‘All right. Two dollars a copy please.’

  ‘What?’ a few of the boys chimed in.

  ‘You can’t make us pay for them!’ one protested. ‘We already paid a buck to get in here. You promised us a photograph.’

  ‘That just covers the room rental, ubbhead! Anyway, nobody ever said they were going to be free, did they? You realise how much it costs to get colour photographs printed? And Vanessa charged us two dollars a signature too, so the church will actually be operating at a loss! I’m warning you, the Goddess’s wrath will be on anyone who is greedy and is not willing to pay their way.’

  The boys grumbled some more. Only three handed over two dollars for a copy.

  ‘What about the rest of you?’ Tucker said. ‘How are you supposed to obey the second commandment of the Goddess without a photograph to gaze at?’

  ‘I’ve got pictures of her on my computer,’ said one of the boys. ‘I got them from her Facelink profile on the Internet. She accepted me as a friend. If she does that you get access to heaps of her photographs.’

  Tucker’s blood began to boil. It annoyed him that these little thirteen-year-olds had access to Vanessa’s profile when he had to resort to stealing photographs off the walls of classrooms. If only his parents had a computer and Internet, then he too could have access. ‘Why would she accept you as a friend?’

  ‘She’ll accept anyone from the school. Just do a search for “Booty Girl” and send a friend request. As long as she recognises your name or your picture and as long as she doesn’t hate your guts, she’ll add you.’

  ‘I have one of her swimsuit shots as wallpaper on my computer,’ said one of the other boys. ‘Wow! That’s all I can say.’

  ‘Hey, I’ve never seen photographs of her in a swimsuit on there,’ said another.

  ‘It’s in a restricted folder. You have to be on her trusted friends list to see them.’

  Tucker glared. ‘How did you get on her trusted friends list?’

  ‘Because I’m in the school dance team. I talk to her all the time.’

  Tucker tried very hard not to unleash his fury on his follower, so decided the next best thing was to put him down. ‘School dance team? What are you, some kind of woofter?’

  ‘Hey there’s other guys on the team. And I get to do the occasional routine with Vanessa.’ A huge smile appeared on his face. ‘She’s even taught me a few dance moves.’

  'Hey, can you email me some shots?' asked one of them.

  'No, sorry. She said she'd add me only if I promised not to distribute her pictures.'

 
'Ah gee... And you won’t, will you?'

  'No.'

  ‘Just shut up!’ Tucker snapped. ‘The seventh commandment of the Goddess…’

  ‘I thought there was only six?’

  ‘A seventh one was revealed to me last night as I prayed to the Goddess. Thou shalt not lust after the goddess.’

  ‘Then what’s the point of being a Nessanist then?’

  ‘Yeah,’ the others muttered in agreement.

  ‘You must only think pure thoughts of the Goddess. Therefore, I the emissary declare that any photographs of the daughter of Aphrodite in a swimsuit or other revealing and sexy outfits must be forwarded to me to be kept in a holy place.’

  ‘Your bedroom?’ scoffed Hew.

  ‘My bed… no! In the holy shrine, the shrine that only the emissary may enter!’

  ‘This is bullshit,’ one of the boys said. ‘Why should you be the one who gets everything?’

  ‘Because I am the emissary! I am chosen by the Goddess.’

  ‘Then how come you’re not on her trusted friends list?’

  ‘Because I don’t own a computer! There are more important things than technology when it comes to the Goddess. You fools, you do not realise that you are putting technology ahead of her. This will not please her. You will suffer her wrath.’

  ‘You mean your wrath!’

  The others murmured in agreement.

  Just then the door to the room opened and Wal stepped in. ‘What’s all this then?’

  ‘This is a closed meeting, Ullman!’ Tucker growled. ‘Get out!’

  Both Hew and Ash walked to the door to confront Wal. They stopped in front of him, blocking his entrance.

  ‘Out of my way!’ Wal glared. He shoved Ash sideways and stepped forward.

  Ash and Hew did not try to stop him, but just remained staunch as Wal stepped into the room. ‘What the hell are you all doing in here?’

  ‘None of your business, Infidel!’ Tucker growled.

  ‘Infidel?’ scoffed Wal. ‘Pyles, you have completely lost it.’ He wandered in and scanned the wide-eyed faces looking up at him. Some of them appeared to be pale, others just sat still, not daring to say a word.

  Tucker huffed, ‘Ash… Hew…cast this infidel out of here. He is in league with the evil one.’

  ‘Just try it!’ Wal pointed a finger at Ash and Hew and cast them a warning glare. Tucker’s two henchmen remained where they were, eyeing Wal with contempt.

  Tucker didn’t want to push it himself. He knew what a tough character Wal was. He was fearless, even in the face of overwhelming odds. He had a high tolerance for pain and even though Tucker had no doubts Ash and Hew would come out on top, they would suffer plenty of cuts and bruises before they were finished. They’d not be happy with Tucker and not only that, but some serious damage could be done to the classroom, thus resulting in it no longer being available to Tucker and his fellow Nessanists. If only Diesel was still at school. There was one friend of Tucker’s who would have most definitely tipped the balance in their favour, but he’d left school at the end of the previous year, opting to finish his studies via correspondence so he could start a job on a farm.

  Wal stepped up to the pile of photographs. ‘What the hell?’ He picked one up. ‘What’s all this?’

  ‘Signed pictures of Vanessa,’ Tucker declared. ‘Seeing as you’re not a Nessanist, it will cost you ten bucks a copy.’

  Wal snickered. ‘I can get pics of her from her Facelink profile on the Net. Have you seen her swimsuit shots? Woooooorrrr! Anyway, that’s not her signature. You’ve just faked it, haven’t you, Pyles?’

  ‘I have not!’

  ‘Don’t give me that crap! Why would she sign photographs for you? Especially not copies of the one you obviously stole from her wall dossier. And she wouldn’t sign her photographs as “The goddess, Vanessa” either!’

  Those who had paid for copies of the picture sat up.

  ‘You lied to us!’ one said.

  ‘Give us our money back!’

  ‘Yeah!’

  ‘Good idea, Pyles,’ Wal growled. ‘Give them their money back. And while you’re at it, give Trent Nord back that money you screwed him out of with that bogus protection racket of yours.’ He turned his head to Trent. ‘How much have you paid him, Nord?’

  ‘Forty bucks so far.’

  Wal shook his head and rolled his eyes.

  ‘I’m not giving him back that money!’ Tucker said. ‘He’s received quality services with that money.’

  ‘No, I didn’t!’ Trent spoke up, his bottom lip sticking out. ‘You’ve done nothing for me at all!’

  ‘Have you had the crap beaten out of you, yet?’ Tucker asked.

  ‘No, but…’

  ‘So, what’s the problem?’

  Wal walked over and grabbed him by the shirt. His henchmen stirred, but to Tucker’s mortification they made no effort to intercept him. ‘Give him his money back, Pyles before I plaster your face all over the wall of this classroom!’

  Tucker’s legs suddenly went weak and his voice quivered. ‘Alright, alright! Here!’ He reached into his school bag and pulled a couple of twenty-dollar bills from the side pocket. ‘Here, give it to him. I don’t care, but I’m not going to be providing my services to him any longer! He’s on his own. Cassidy can have him for all I care.’

  Wal took the money from him, but his right eye squinted. ‘Rex? You’re protecting him against Rex?’

  ‘Yeah. The little creep made the moves on Vanessa.’

  ‘I did not!’

  Wal burst out laughing. ‘Oh yeah, I know about that. But what’s so funny is that you would have the gall to try to tell someone you can beat Cassidy when you’re so terrified of the guy you wet your pants whenever he calls your name.’

  ‘I do not!’

  ‘Yeah, whatever, Pyles. But if you do anything like this again, you’ll have me to answer to.’

  ‘Oh yeah, and why would I be scared of you?’ Tucker growled. ‘You only talk big because you know that if my boys beat you up, Cassidy will be after us.’

  Wal’s nose curled up and his eyebrows lowered. ‘I can handle myself, Pyles. You tell your boys that if they want to take me on, I’ll personally tell Rex to stay out of it even if I lose. He’ll go with my wishes. So, come on, Pyles. Set your dogs on me. Let’s see how many of them I chew up and spit out before they bring me down.’

  It was normally at this point that Tucker’s two companions would move over to ready themselves for a fight, but they still remained where they were. Hew seemed to be more interested in some mathematical formulas on the wall, while Ash examined his watch.

  ‘So, come on, Pyles,’ taunted Wal. ‘What’s the command? Skitch ‘em boys! Sick ‘em! Attack! What’ll it be, Fats?’

  On this occasion, Tucker knew he’d been beat. ‘I’ll let you off this time…’

  ‘Oh wow. You seem to be doing that a lot lately. What’s the matter, Pyles, getting soft?’

  ‘The Goddess has mellowed me out a bit,’ Tucker said, trying to sound casual. ‘We don’t want any fighting going on in this holy place.’

  Wal threw the picture of Vanessa back down on the pile. He delivered Tucker one more contemptuous glare, threw the forty dollars to Trent and strolled out of the room.