Golden Chances

by Rebecca Hagan Lee

  “Just like that.”

  He shook his head in disbelief, then raked his fingers through his hair in an attempt to restore some order to the thick, black strands. “She wouldn’t take a basket of fruit from a soldier she’s met before, but she’ll consider having my baby for money?”

  “Yep,” David confirmed. “Unless she changes her mind.”

  “Is there a chance of that?”

  “Of course. There’s always a chance.”

  “She won’t change her mind,” Reese said confidently. “She needs the money too badly.” But he decided to sweeten the deal.

  For the next half-hour, Reese asked David very specific questions about the house in Richmond. And each member of the household.

  Chapter Seven

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Tempy asked suddenly.

  “Talk? About what?” Faith turned to face her aunt. They were sitting at the kitchen table, relaxing after clearing away the remains of the Christmas feast.

  It was quiet. Hannah and Virt were napping, and Agnes was busy knitting a scarf in the corner of the parlor. Joy was pretending to serve tea from a miniature tea set to the dolls seated in tiny chairs at a tiny table in another corner of the parlor.

  Faith observed the procedure from a distance, carefully noting the differences in the two dolls seated at the table. On Joy’s right, sat a baby doll with real blond hair and an exquisitely painted bisque face. Her arms and legs were made of the same bisque. She was dressed in a beautiful nightie made of white eyelet lace. On the left, sat Faith’s offering, a small cloth doll with brown embroidery floss for hair and a carefully embroidered face. She was dressed in a blue gown made from scraps of uniforms and a white pinafore made from one of Aunt Tempy’s petticoats.

  Faith had spent many hours lovingly crafting the doll long after Joy had been put to bed. She was the best Faith had had to offer and she would probably still be under the Christmas tree if Aunt Virt hadn’t pointed her out. In her excitement over all her wonderful brightly wrapped packages, Joy had completely overlooked the plain, brown-wrapped packages at the back of the tree.

  Faith wished now, that she had put them away. They couldn’t compete with all the wonderful things Augustus Jenkins had delivered.

  Tempy studied Faith’s face as she watched Joy at play. “She’s a little girl, Faith. It’s her first real Christmas and she’s thrilled with all her new toys. Just as you were thrilled with your first doll.”

  “I know, Aunt Tempy, it’s just that I wanted to give it to her. I wanted to be the one to provide all these gifts.”

  “Didn’t you?” Tempy’s gray eyes were demanding an answer.

  “He did,” Faith said resentfully. “I had nothing to do with it.”

  “Really? I’d say you had a lot to do with it. I presume these gifts are from David Alexander. He seemed quite taken with you.”

  “No,” Faith told her. “They’re from Reese Jordan. David Alexander might have suggested them, but they all came from Reese.”

  “Reese?” Temperance probed a little deeper. “You didn’t tell me you were on a first name basis with your future employer.”

  Faith saw the concern in Tempy’s face. “There was a lot I didn’t tell you, Aunt Tempy. I didn’t know how.”

  “I’m listening now, if you want to talk about it.”

  “Reese Jordan wants me to have his child.” Faith dropped the news quietly and carefully, as if to muffle an explosion.

  Tempy’s mouth formed a perfect O, and her command of the English language momentarily failed her. When she finally recovered her power of speech, her voice was an astonished whisper. “He what?”

  “He wants me to have his child. The Richmond advertisement contained a mistake. He isn’t hiring someone to provide for his heir. He’s hiring someone to provide the child. In his words, to conceive it, carry it, deliver it, and hand it over to him—forever. And he’s willing to pay me very well for the service.” Faith stood up and began to pace around the kitchen, stopping every now and then to straighten the cups in the cupboard, or to restack a dish. “When I arrived at the Madison Hotel, his suite was full of women applying for the job. I stood in line half the day before I saw Reese Jordan, from a distance, but I never got the chance to speak to him. And I never would’ve had a chance at all if fate hadn’t intervened.”

  “What happened?”

  Faith took a deep breath and began to relate the chain of events that had led to her first meeting with Reese Jordan. She held nothing back except the uncontrollable mix of emotions she had experienced when Reese Jordan kissed her. The memory of his kiss and the feel of his hands intimately tying the strings of her corset still had the power to make her blush.

  “He saved you from a thief, took you to dinner, and offered you the job of his…his…companion all in one evening,” Tempy observed sarcastically when Faith had finished talking. “He sounds like a scoundrel.”

  “Oh, he’s very charming and very persuasive when he wants to be.”

  “Most scoundrels are.”

  “And yet there is something about him,” Faith murmured. “He showed me the ad in the Washington paper. He chose to tell me the truth when he could have very easily set out to seduce me.”

  “He was probably afraid you would find out from one of the other applicants. He chose to tell you his version before someone else told you hers.” Tempy patted the bench next to her.

  “Maybe, but he didn’t seem to be afraid. He seemed to challenge me. Can you understand that?” Faith sat down.

  “I don’t know,” Tempy admitted, “but what I understand or don’t understand doesn’t matter. The question is whether you understand. Can you go along with this business arrangement?”

  “He wanted me, Tempy,” Faith whispered, “I felt it.”

  “Other men have wanted you,” Tempy reminded her. “Despite what your Aunt Virtuous says, I know of at least three men who have approached you since the end of the war.”

  “A drunk, a man old enough to be my grandfather, and a married captain with a wife and two grown children in Wisconsin,” Faith said. “All of them offered me to take me away from all this”—she waved her arm toward the parlor—“and set me up in a little place of my own. Their offers were not flattering.”

  “Did you find Reese Jordan’s offering flattering?”

  Faith thought for a moment. “Yes, strangely enough, I did. I didn’t feel dirty or that he was offering me a sordid ‘arrangement’. I felt he was offering me an opportunity. Have I shocked you terribly, Aunt Tempy?” A pink tinge colored her cheeks as Faith turned to face her beloved aunt.

  Tempy smiled at Faith. “I’m surprised, but far from shocked. Your face lights up when you talk about him.”

  Faith turned a deeper shade of pink and lowering her eyes, contemplated the folds in her apron as she spoke. “Aunt Tempy, we desperately need that money, but I don’t know what to do. I should be appalled at Reese Jordan’s offer, but I’m not. The idea of having his baby—” Faith stopped suddenly and met her aunt’s eyes. “What would people here in Richmond think if they found out? Can you imagine the scandal if any of our friends even suspected?”

  “Better than you,” Tempy said. “Don’t you think I know what you’re feeling, Faith? I wasn’t always your aunt Tempy. I was young once and very much in love.”

  “I never knew…” Faith began.

  “Of course not. It happened before you were born, and it isn’t the sort of thing I would normally talk about. But, Faith, darling, I do understand some of what you feel. I was sixteen, younger than you are now. All my sisters were married and away from home and I was left at home with a sick mother and a house to oversee. I thought life was passing me by until the day Kevin O’Malley rode up to the house, fresh off the boat from Ireland. Papa hired him as a horse trainer. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen and far better educated far better than any horse trainer I’d ever met. We fell in love. Kevin wanted to marry me, but Papa refused
to consider his proposal.” Tempy stopped and blinked back tears, then rose from the table, walked to the stove and poured two steaming cups of coffee. She carried both cups back to the table, placed one in front of Faith, and sat back down at the scarred, pine table.

  “What happened?”

  “I ran away with Kevin. We went to Baltimore, married, and planned to take a ship to the West Indies. My father tracked us down. He had Kevin beaten, then signed him on as a crewman aboard a ship. I never saw him again. Our marriage was annulled. The family thought they could forget it. Thought I’d forget it, but I didn’t. And neither could they. I had a part of Kevin with me. I was carrying his child.” Tempy paused, remembering. “When Father found out, he sent me to stay with a distant cousin in Philadelphia until the baby was born.” She smiled at Faith. “I couldn’t keep my child. Circumstances and my father prevented it.”

  “Oh, Aunt Tempy, I’m so sorry.” Faith got up from the table and embraced her aunt.

  “Don’t be sorry, Faith. A few weeks after I returned to Richmond, your mother gave birth. She was ill for long months afterward. I stayed here to help with the other children and to take care of you. I’ve always been here for you. I couldn’t keep my child, but I’ve always been here when you needed me.”

  “You never married.”

  “I would have liked to marry, but not without love and I loved only Kevin. And after the scandal I caused, I never had the opportunity. Oh, I received lots of offers, but none of them were marriage proposals,” Tempy concluded.

  “It’s such a shame, Aunt Tempy. You’ve missed so much.”

  “Have I missed any more than you?” Tempy asked. “I’ve loved a man, Faith, and had that love returned, and I’ve experienced the joy and the heartbreak of bearing a child. I don’t want you to miss that, but I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself to someone to provide money for the rest of us. Do you understand the difference?”

  “Have you any regrets, Tempy?”

  Tempy smiled sadly. “I don’t allow any. And if you choose to accept Reese Jordan’s offer, do so because you feel it’s the right thing for you to do. Don’t look back, and don’t regret your decision. If you choose to reject his offer, do so for the same reason. I love you, Faith. I’ll support your decision. We all make the best choice at the time. It’s all any of us can do. All you can do. You can’t live your life regretting the past. It’s too short and too precious for that. Think about what you want, my dear, don’t think about us or the money.”

  “But the money is important, Tempy,” Faith reminded her, “It’s important to all of us, to our well-being and livelihood. I didn’t realize how important until today.” Faith looked around at all the food and gifts. “Reese’s money was responsible for all this.” She waved her right arm to indicate the Christmas bounty.

  “These are just things, Faith. Can you carry a child and give it up for money? Ask yourself that question before you decide. Ask yourself why you would even consider doing it. Why? That’s what’s important.”

  Faith kissed her aunt on the cheek. “What made you so wise, Aunt Tempy?”

  Tempy smiled at Faith. “Experience.” She watched as Faith walked into the parlor to take tea with Joy and her dolls. “And love,” she whispered.

  * * *

  Faith spent a sleepless night. She tossed from side to side, turning first one way and then another, bumping Joy in her futile attempt to find a comfortable position.

  No matter which way she turned, slumber eluded her. She could not escape the workings of her mind which was busy replaying the afternoon’s conversation with Aunt Tempy and Tempy’s revelations about her own life.

  Can you carry a man’s child and give it up? Ask yourself why… Why?”

  Over and over Aunt Tempy’s voice echoed through her mind.

  And then there was another voice taunting her. A deep, husky voice—fierce, yet strangely, tender. Reese’s voice. I want you to provide the child. To conceive him, carry him, deliver him, give him to me and walk away. Forever.

  Forever.

  I have my reasons. If I could do this alone, I would.

  Ask yourself why.

  I have my reasons…

  On and on, through the long night, Faith heard their voices—Aunt Tempy’s full of love and concern, Reese’s husky with a very different emotion.

  She asked herself why she wanted to have Reese Jordan’s child. Because he was willing to pay her a great deal of money? The mercenary part of Faith told her she should do it for the money. But the other, womanly, side of Faith insisted she should do it for love. While it was unthinkable for Faith to do such a thing for herself, there were other people—dearly beloved ladies—to consider. What was unthinkable became acceptable when the lives of her ladies were at stake. And while Faith told herself she would do anything for her family, the womanly part of her, the deeply hidden, yearning part of her, urged her to do it for herself. Miracles did happen when one worked for them and maybe, just maybe…

  Faith finally gave up all pretense of trying to sleep. She rose, bathed hastily from the basin, dressed for church, and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

  The wonderful smell of bacon frying roused the others from their beds and they began to wash and dress and file into the kitchen to help. Hannah was the first to enter and found there was very little to do. Faith had everything prepared.

  Hannah smiled. “It isn’t fair, Faith. You’ve been up early two days in a row, making breakfast for all of us.”

  “I don’t mind,” Faith said. “I couldn’t sleep and I enjoy making breakfast, but you can brew some tea if you like.”

  Hannah was thrilled with the chore. It was the thing she did best. “It’s so nice to have real breakfasts again, with bacon and ham and biscuits and eggs. You’ve become a cook, Faith. Imagine that. Before the war, you would never…” Hannah put the kettle on to boil and filled the china pot with tea. “Never mind. You spoil us so. We’ll all miss it.”

  “Miss what?” Tempy stood in the doorway.

  “Faith,” Hannah told her. “When she leaves us to go to Wyoming.”

  “Has she decided to go?” Tempy asked, watching Faith closely and waiting for an answer.

  “Of course, she’s going,” Virt answered from behind Tempy. “She’ll lose the job if she doesn’t. She has to go.”

  Tempy took the platter of bacon from Faith and set it on the table. “Are you going, Faith?”

  “Yes, Faith, are you going?” Agnes chimed in.

  “Well,” Faith said, teasing. “after breakfast, I’m going to church, but that’s as far as I plan to travel—for today, anyway. Isn’t that right, pumpkin?” She reached down and lifted Joy, who was pressed against Tempy’s skirts, into her arms.

  Joy nodded and Faith successfully diverted the conversation. Agnes’s question was forgotten for the moment.

  But it wasn’t forgotten for long. Faith was abruptly reminded of it in the churchyard after the Sunday service.

  “Faith? Faith!” A large woman, dressed in bright red wool, waved her handkerchief in Faith’s direction.

  Faith turned at the sound of her name and groaned aloud at the sight of Aunt Virtuous in conversation with Lydia Abbott.

  What now? Faith thought, as Aunt Virt and Mrs. Abbott made a beeline for her. Lydia Abbott was a notorious busybody and the biggest gossip in Richmond.

  “Faith.” Mrs. Abbott managed to breathe Faith’s name once again, though she was winded from the trek. “What’s this Virt tells me about your going to Wyoming? Your aunt has been bragging that you’ve landed a job as governess for the child of a very rich man. And Myrtle Jenkins told me all about Augustus’s trip out to your house with a wagonload of Christmas presents. You new employer must be paying you quite well if you spent money on Christmas”—she looked at Faith slyly—“when everyone in town knows you need money for your taxes and that tumbledown house. It’s so exciting. Imagine, little Faith Collins, going out west alone to work for a rich gent
leman. Why don’t you stop by the house for Sunday dinner and tell us all about your job? I just can’t get over it, Faith Collins actually working for a living.”

  “I don’t think there is anything left to tell, Mrs. Abbott, everyone else seems to have filled you in quite thoroughly.” Faith glared at Virtuous. She didn’t begrudge her aunt a little boasting…but to Lydia Abbott of all people. “Thank you for your offer, but we have Sunday dinner waiting for us at home.” Faith put her hand under Aunt Virt’s elbow and steered her away from Lydia. “Good day, Mrs. Abbott.”

  “Virt told me everything except when you’re leaving. When are you going to Wyoming?”

  “I don’t know,” Faith ground out through clenched teeth.

  “You mean your employer hasn’t told you, yet?” Lydia prodded.

  “Oh, she’s leaving soon,” Virt announced loudly. “Real soon.”

  Faith nudged her aunt with an elbow to the ribs. “Shh.”

  “Well, if you don’t hear from your…employer soon, Faith, let me know. Rich men have been known to change their minds and governesses are expendable. My own children had several. And I might be able to use you at my house.”

  “When pigs fly,” Faith muttered.

  “What was that?” Lydia asked.

  “I said ‘goodbye’, Mrs. Abbott.” Faith walked away with Virtuous in tow.

  “How could you, Aunt Virt?” Faith fumed, when they were out of Lydia’s hearing.

  “I had to say something,” Virt said defensively. “She came up to me and started talking about all the Christmas gifts Augustus had delivered to our house.”

  “You could have ignored her, but no, you had to brag,” Faith said.

  “Well, why not?” Virtuous wanted to know. “It’s good to finally have something to brag about.”

  “But now everyone will expect me to go.”

  “Well, why not?” Virt studied her niece. “You are going to Wyoming, aren’t you, Faith?”

  Faith avoided her aunt’s eyes and hurried to catch up to Tempy, Joy, and the others who were walking ahead. Virt trotted after her, determined to get an answer.

  “You didn’t answer my question,” Virt accused as soon as she caught up with Faith.

  Tempy turned to Virt. “What question was that, Virt?”