Nothing But Trouble

by Matt Cain

  ‘Oh, right, yeah. But you didn’t have to trail all the way out here – you should have just sent them with a courier.’

  ‘Yeah, I, urm, I was here anyway. I had to call in and see a mate.’

  Well, that was only half a lie. The director of Lucky Star did play on the same rugby team as Freddy but the truth was he’d had to bribe him with a pair of tickets he’d been sent to a film premiere to wangle his way into the studio. Although by the looks of things he’d wasted his time.

  ‘Who’s that, Barb?’

  At that moment Lola stepped into view over Barbara’s shoulder. She was dressed in a grey tracksuit with an electric-pink baseball cap and wasn’t wearing any make-up. Not that Freddy noticed. All he noticed was her bright smile – the kind of smile that was like sunlight dancing on the sea. And if he wasn’t mistaken, it was a smile that grew at the sight of him.

  ‘Freddy!’

  ‘All right, Lola? How’s it going?’

  ‘Hiya, darlin’!’ She threw her arms around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  Now that’s more like it!

  ‘Come in! Come in and join us for a drink!’

  Us? Who’s us?

  As he stepped inside he was greeted by another four women Lola introduced as her assistant, hairdresser, make-up artist and stylist. That was all he needed – an audience! So much for spending personal time with Lola. He was so nervous even his hands were sweating.

  ‘You know, I’m sorry my Winne’s not very glamorous,’ Lola piped, pulling a face as she gestured at the plastic walls, Formica furniture and snot-green sofas.

  Freddy smiled. ‘It reminds me of my grandparents’ caravan in Tenby.’ Oh why did I just say that? Now she’ll think I’m really uncool. He tucked his hands under his armpits and shuffled around on the spot.

  ‘But at least it has a fully stocked minibar,’ Lola chirped, flinging open the door of a fridge. ‘Now what can I get you? We’ve got Coke, Sprite, water, beer or champagne if you fancy it?’

  ‘I’ll just have a water, thanks.’ He lifted his collar and breathed down the front of his neck to cool himself down. After much deliberation he’d opted to wear a short-sleeved shirt an ex-girlfriend had once told him showed off his rugby player’s physique. He hoped a sweat patch wasn’t forming on his back. ‘It’s really hot today.’

  ‘Tell me about it. And I’ve got to go on stage later!’

  ‘Well, I’m sure you’ll be cracking, like.’

  ‘Thanks, darlin’, I’ll do my best.’

  She handed him the bottle of water and he opened it and took a swig. He was suddenly conscious of Lola’s team mosquitoing around him. And they might all be busy with work but they could still hear everything he said. Oh what am I doing here? Lola’s so gorgeous she could probably have any man she wanted. She’s hardly going to fancy a big, burly ginger like me.

  ‘And are you sticking around to watch the show?’ she asked him.

  ‘Afraid not. I already said I’d go out with the lads from uni tonight so I’ll have to watch it at home.’ Well, he had to at least play a little bit hard to get.

  ‘Oh, that’s a shame.’

  Lola’s smile wilted; she looked genuinely disappointed. It was a look that told Freddy maybe he wasn’t being stupid. Maybe she did fancy him after all. But what was he supposed to do now?

  ‘I, urm, I wanted to give you these.’ He held out the sunglasses and Lola took them. ‘You left them with me at the album launch.’

  ‘God, I’d forgotten all about that! Honestly, I can be such a dizzy bitch sometimes!’

  Freddy smiled at her. ‘Well, I was coming here anyway so . . .’

  ‘Yeah, well that’s very nice of you. And it’s good to see you again.’

  Was it his imagination or was she blushing slightly? ‘Yeah, it’s good to see you too.’

  ‘Although I’m blatantly not wearing any make-up at the moment – you must think I’m a total dog.’

  ‘No, not at all! You look really nice, honestly.’ Really nice? Was that the best he could do?

  ‘Well, I should be looking a bit better tonight. At least I hope you’ll think so.’

  That was it, she did fancy him! In an instant Freddy’s nerves dissipated. Lola Grant fancied him! He felt a surge of excitement and realized he was standing that little bit taller. But before he could take advantage of his new-found confidence there was a knock at the door. Everyone turned to look and Lola’s assistant got up to answer.

  ‘Five minutes, Lola!’ called out a voice from the other side.

  Lola turned back to Freddy and scrunched up her face. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, darlin’ but I’ve got to go and sound-check.’

  ‘That’s OK, don’t worry. I should probably be making a move anyway.’

  ‘But I’ll see you again soon, yeah?’

  ‘Yep, I’ll see you next week.’

  ‘Next week?’

  ‘I’m coming to film on the set of your new video.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘He sure is, doll,’ Barbara pitched in from her spot in the kitchen. So everyone was listening in to their conversation. ‘We arranged it the other day.’

  ‘Well, that’s fierce. That’s blatantly fierce.’

  Freddy said goodbye to the girls and leaned in to kiss Lola on the cheek. ‘All right, I’ll see you next week then.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Lola gleamed, ‘see you next week.’

  As he stepped out of the Winnebago, Freddy felt like he was smiling with his whole body. He felt so much happier than he had when he’d arrived just ten minutes ago. In fact, he was so buoyant with happiness he felt like he could levitate.

  But he told himself to rein in his feelings before he got too carried away. After all, this was only the second time he’d met Lola; it was still early days. But as he sprung across the tarmac he knew that reining himself in was going to be a major challenge.

  *

  As the music rose to its climax, Lola allowed herself to be overcome by a somewhat giddy excitement. She was on the set of Lucky Star looking out at an empty auditorium as she and the band sound-checked for tonight’s show. Even though they were just walking through the song and she wasn’t giving the vocal her full energy, she was starting to feel confident about delivering a dynamite performance.

  I was lost, lost,

  Lost in love.

  And there was no question why she was feeling confident; it was because Freddy Jones had just visited her in her Winnebago. Freddy Jones, that great big mountain of manhood, whose biceps bulged out of his shirtsleeves and who turned up all bumbling and nervous without the slightest idea of just how gorgeous he was. Lola remembered how the sweat had glistened along his collarbone and on the short rust-coloured hairs on the nape of his neck. God, he was sexy. How could she have ever doubted that she fancied him? Well, she wouldn’t doubt it anymore. And the best thing was, he was so nice – so much nicer than that bastard Jake. She couldn’t wait for him to watch her performance tonight.

  I was lost, lost,

  Lost in love.

  As the dancers gathered around her and together they struck their final pose, the music boomed to a stop and a huge explosion of ticker tape filled the studio. The show’s producer Cassian Blunt, a whippet-thin man who’d done so many drugs he couldn’t keep his face still, burst into a solo but maniacally enthusiastic round of applause. A few clipboard-clutching production staff and Lola’s team soon joined in while Barbara let off a loud wolf whistle.

  As Cassian collared the clipboard-clutchers and began twitching and mugging his way through what looked like crisis talks about a faulty jet of dry ice, Lola turned to face her band. ‘Well done, guys,’ she beamed. ‘I reckon tonight’s going to be fierce!’

  And she needed tonight to be fierce as she had a major point to prove. Before landing her record deal, she’d auditioned to be a contestant on Lucky Star but hadn’t even got through to the second round. Now here she was making her debut on the show as a guest performer and a hugely suc
cessful recording artist. If all went well she’d finally be laying to rest some painful memories.

  As a squadron of sound engineers began fiddling with her microphone and earpiece she spotted Rex Watson picking his way through the auditorium towards the stage. A former member of a moderately successful and long-forgotten Eighties boy band, Rex was now world-famous as the head judge on Lucky Star in the UK, the US and Australia. In each continent he was equally famous for his contemptuous criticisms of contestants, his grease-covered forehead that seemed to glow through even the most heavy-duty studio make-up, and his penchant for wearing chinos so tight you could see exactly what he was thinking. He wasn’t supposed to be on set until just before the show so Lola had told Harvey not to bother turning up to support her until much later. But now here he was. Without her manager and best friend, Lola felt alone and exposed. And as she gaped at Rex bounding onto the stage towards her, her heart froze with fear.

  ‘Lola!’ he trilled, blasting her with the smile of a man who was eternally pleased with himself. ‘Great to meet you!’

  As she shook his hand she found herself squirming at the memory of him sitting in the audition room telling her she had a face ‘like a carpenter’s nailbag’, a voice like ‘a poodle being raped by a pony’ and ‘all the passion of an over-cooked cauliflower’. Thankfully none of the footage had been broadcast at the time and as yet hadn’t been unearthed. But the memory was still sharp in her mind – and still had the power to strip away her self-belief.

  ‘You know I love your new album!’ Rex gushed, clearly oblivious to his earlier assessment of her talent. ‘It’s so fresh and ballsy and so now.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Lola gasped, a knot of bitterness tightening in her chest. ‘Thanks a lot.’

  ‘And I hear it’s going to be number one tomorrow. Congratulations!’

  ‘Yeah, thanks, I’m, urm, I’m really made up.’

  Even though she’d rehearsed this scene in her mind over a thousand times, now it was finally happening Lola felt too overwhelmed by a mess of emotions to deliver the lines she’d so carefully worked out. She found herself regressing to the nervous girl who’d queued outside the audition venue, only to leave hours later crushed by Rex’s criticism. He’d seemed so sure of her lack of talent she’d begun to believe he was right, even if Harvey had repeatedly reassured her she was good enough and told her to use Rex’s negativity to spur her on, to ‘turn that shit into fertilizer’. More than anything she wanted to forget about the pain of the past and start to enjoy her success – yet here was Rex, reminding her of the misery he’d inflicted on her all those years ago. If only she’d asked Freddy to stick around and watch her rehearsal; if he were here now she wouldn’t be feeling half as insecure.

  Just then Jake began tapping out a slow beat on his drums. As she glanced over at him he gave her a reassuring wink. She realized that he must have sensed how she was feeling and was doing his best to bolster her confidence. She listened to the rhythm of his stroke and could feel herself filling with a rush of warm energy.

  ‘You know, I wish you’d auditioned for this show,’ Rex joked. ‘Eight years I’ve been doing it and still talent slips through the net!’

  Lola could feel her heart start to race as she spotted her chance. ‘Well maybe you put some people off,’ she managed. ‘Maybe you need to spend less time thinking about your own performance and more letting the kids shine. Because in my experience people only pick on kids when they’re insecure about themselves.’ She looked at his crotch and raised her eyebrow. ‘And I wouldn’t like to imagine what you’ve got to be insecure about.’

  As she finished speaking, Jake played the rim-shot used to punctuate the punchline in classic comedy. Rex visibly winced. He’d been challenged before but only ever by disgruntled contestants – never a star of Lola’s stature. And never on a stage in front of the show’s entire production team. He was stupefied. There was a clatter from the auditorium and Lola realized a production assistant had dropped her clipboard.

  ‘OK guys!’ broke in the producer Cassian in a flurry of twitching. ‘We need to crack on. One more time please!’

  Rex gave her a nod and backed away, obviously frustrated at not being able to hit back at the show’s star guest. Lola could feel her heart begin to slow and felt a shiver of satisfaction. As she walked towards the stairs at the rear of the set, she passed Jake and stopped to give him a smile.

  ‘Thanks for that, darlin’. I really needed the back-up.’

  He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. ‘My pleasure. The dude’s a total douchebag – it was cool to see you take a bite out of his ass.’

  ‘Positions please!’ barked Cassian.

  Lola grinned at Jake and backed away. Once she’d climbed the stairs and settled into her opening position, she closed her eyes to gather her thoughts. She’d obviously underestimated Jake and he’d shown himself to be surprisingly sensitive. But more importantly she’d faced Rex Watson and given him a taste of his own medicine. I did it! I really let him have it!

  As the lights went to black and the intro to the song started up, she breathed in as deeply as she could. She could feel the self-belief gradually returning and swelling inside her.

  Now all I need is to prove him wrong . . .

  *

  At his home in Tufnell Park, Freddy felt a ripple of excitement as Lola blasted into vision on his TV screen. He’d only been half watching the show whilst getting ready to go out, but once Lola’s performance was announced he sat down in his boxer shorts, opened a bottle of beer and stretched his legs onto the stack of rugby magazines that, in the mess of his cluttered bachelor pad, served as a surprisingly sturdy footstool.

  His eyes were immediately transfixed by the image of Lola dressed in dark, tight-fitting matador trousers, a black and red striped top and a cute Spanish-style hat that added an impish touch. Wow! She looks cracking! And the best thing was she fancied him. She actually fancied him! He took a swig of his beer and felt himself swell with satisfaction.

  Of course it was a high-risk strategy to pursue someone both so desirable and so clearly in demand – particularly when he’d had such a long run of dating disappointments and wasn’t sure he could handle yet another. It had been nearly two years now since he’d been in a serious relationship, and it was getting to the point where being single was starting to feel like part of who he was. He was finding it more and more difficult now that he and his friends were coming to the end of their twenties and so many of them were getting engaged. But he’d never been a quitter – and meeting Lola had given him new hope.

  He watched spellbound as she slithered down the stairs to the intro of Lost in Love. He breathed in as deeply as he could and felt himself filling with positivity. Not only was Lost in Love a great song but its sexy summer vibe was infectious – enough to make even the toughest cynic want to fall in love. Freddy himself needed little persuading. And it might be a bit early to talk about love but he couldn’t wait to see Lola again next week.

  For the time being though he’d have to make do with her TV performance. He looked at the screen and broke into a huge smile as she stepped forward to begin her vocal.

  *

  As she stepped up to the mic, Lola felt the beat of the drum drive through her. Countless cameras circled and swooped around her, a reminder that there were millions of viewers watching her performance on TV. She wondered if Freddy was doing as he’d said and if he was one of them. At that moment, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Jake nodding at her supportively.

  Like a vision,

  He waltzed into my world . . .

  As she delivered her vocal, she felt as if her entire being was throbbing with happiness. This was what it was all about – singing. For as long as she could remember, singing had got her through the bad times and been with her for the good times. To Lola, singing came as naturally as breathing: it was an essential part of who she was and what she did – and doing it felt so right. When she sang she felt like nothing el
se mattered, that nothing could harm her. She felt beautiful and special, like a better version of herself.

  The scent of danger,

  The swell of desire,

  And I was lost, lost,

  Lost in love.

  As she snapped the mic off its stand and began striding around the stage she felt the power of her band backing her not just musically but also emotionally. Gloria and Sharonne swayed to the beat as if immersed in a state of ecstasy, Danny, Smudge and Chuck played their instruments with expressions of such delight they almost looked attractive, and Jake was pounding his drums with so much passion Lola couldn’t help but feel her body tremble. This was more thrilling than anything she’d ever experienced. She felt empowered. She felt free. She felt sexy.

  The blaze of the sun,

  The beat of the drum,

  And I was lost, lost,

  Lost in love.

  Ranged over raked seating fanning out before her, the studio audience roared with such energy it almost knocked her back. Sitting in front of them, she spotted Rex Watson presiding over the judges’ table, grinning through obviously gritted teeth, tapping out the beat of the song with enforced jollity. As she looked him in the eye she realized it didn’t matter what she’d said to him earlier – this was the best revenge possible. He was wrong. She was good enough. And she was in the process of proving it to him – and to herself.

  My head turned,

  My heart burned,

  And I was lost, lost,

  Lost in love.

  As Jake’s rhythm drove the song to the middle eight, Lola was flanked by the show’s troupe of dancers. She handed one the mic and launched into the short routine. Dancing wasn’t her greatest strength but she’d worked with a really creative choreographer who’d come up with some moves that were less formal and much freer than a traditional routine and a better fit for her rebellious personality. As she flew through them now she could feel her spirit soar. She took back the mic and prepared to build the song to its rousing finale.