Nothing But Trouble

by Matt Cain

  ‘That’s sounding delicious, Lola,’ reassured her teacher from her seat at the piano. Bella Figurini was a former opera singer with the look and temperament of a Mediterranean mamma but the speaking voice of an Essex dinner lady. The truth was that she’d been brought up by Italian parents in a flat above Papa Razzi, the restaurant they ran on the high street in Chelmsford. Now in her early sixties, Bella’s own singing voice had started to deteriorate so she’d diversified into teaching and gave lessons in the music room of her home in Primrose Hill, which was filled with posters and photos commemorating her glory days, as well as fifteen cats that only ever seemed to lie around sleeping but somehow still managed to cover Lola and her clothes in a thick coating of their moulted hair. Not that Lola particularly minded – it was a small price to pay for a session with the best vocal coach in the business. Even if she was also the biggest gossip Lola had ever met.

  ‘Oh you’ll never guess what I heard the other day,’ Bella whispered, her eyes rounding and the big blue veins standing out on her bust. ‘Ace Bounder’s only been shagging Lucretia Lavelle. I mean, can you believe it? She must be older than me!’

  Lola responded with the requisite gasp of amazement. She decided not to mention the fact that Lucretia was doing the costumes for her show in case Bella plugged her for more information. And she made a mental note never to tell her vocal coach anything about her own personal life. Unless I want it broadcast to the whole music business, that is.

  ‘And what’s next?’ she asked, eager to move on.

  ‘Let’s try some broken chords,’ chirped Bella, her fingers returning to the keys. ‘Repeat after me. Aaa, eee, iii, ooo, uuu.’

  ‘Aaa, eee, iii, ooo, uuu.’

  ‘That’s great. Let’s try it one more time but remember to take a breath after the second chord.’

  ‘Aaa, eee, iii, ooo, uuu.’

  ‘And try it again with less tension in the lips.’

  ‘Aaa, eee, iii, ooo, uuu.’

  That’s it! thought Lola. It’s blatantly sounding fierce.

  ‘Oh, get a load of this,’ Bella spouted, leaning towards her over the keyboard. ‘Someone told me the other day Shereen Spicer’s shagging one of her backing dancers. Can you believe it? And not only that – apparently she’s a total cokehead.’

  Again Lola gasped but tried not to get drawn in.

  ‘Have you ever seen her doing coke?’ pressed Bella.

  ‘Oh no, I hardly know her – I’ve only met her once.’

  It didn’t take much to imagine how Bella would respond if Lola told her she’d been shagging her drummer, caught him dipping his dick in her backing vocalist and then went out on a coke bender to get over it. The news would be all around London in the time it took Lola to complete a set of scales.

  ‘Urm, do you mind if we do a bit of work on resonance?’ she asked, keen to divert the attention back to her voice.

  ‘Not at all,’ smiled Bella, clearly disappointed Lola wasn’t taking her on. ‘So let’s go aaa, eee, iii, ooo, uuu. Crescendo first, a little vibrato, sustain and then fade out.’

  ‘Aaa, eee, iii, ooo, uuu.’

  ‘And again.’

  ‘Aaa, eee, iii, ooo, uuu.’

  ‘Delicious. Absolutely delicious!’

  Lola performed a little jig on the spot.

  ‘So what’s the gossip from your tour?’ wheedled Bella. ‘Is there anyone you’ve got your eye on?’

  ‘Oh no,’ she trilled, comforting herself that technically she wasn’t lying. ‘Not at the moment anyway. I’ve not got the time to start messing around with men. Honestly darlin’, I’m just really focused on the show.’

  And she wasn’t lying. In fact she’d been so focused on rehearsals lately she’d hardly thought about Jake and hadn’t even noticed Gloria. It was as if she’d developed tunnel vision and nothing mattered to her other than having an amazing show to reveal to her fans on opening night. And immersing herself in work was actually making her feel much better about herself and some of the mistakes she’d made recently. Not only that but it was making her more determined to turn her back on the bitch she’d somehow slipped into becoming over the past few weeks. She was even thinking of a way of apologizing to Harvey while she was on stage on opening night. Of course she didn’t want to embarrass him, especially when news of him being sacked still hadn’t leaked out to the press. But she was sure she could come up with some way of publicly admitting she’d been wrong and asking him to come back without causing offence.

  ‘OK, now let’s do some work on pitch control,’ Bella broke in. ‘So let’s start with some lip trills, with your fingers either side of your lips. Brrrr. And then take a quick breath and open up for eeee.’

  ‘Brrrr. Eeee.’

  ‘Not bad, but imagine the sound’s in the front section of your mouth. So you’re spinning it around and letting it resonate. And again.’

  ‘Brrrr. Eeee.’

  Lola felt great. In fact, she’d never felt better. Once again, her music was coming to the rescue. And once again it was going to save the day.

  ‘That’s delicious,’ gushed Bella. ‘And one last time.’

  ‘Brrrr. Eeee.’

  As she channelled all her energy into making her voice resonate, Lola felt another tremor of excitement. With everything going so well she was sure her opening night was going to be fierce. In fact, if she carried on through the next few days as focused as she felt now, how could anything possibly go wrong?

  *

  ‘Mmm, that’s delicious,’ sighed Sharonne as she sipped her glass of champagne and smacked her lips. ‘Just what I needed.’

  Jake looked at her and smiled. The two of them were lying naked in the Jacuzzi in his hotel suite, the bubbles dancing around her nipples – nipples he just wanted to lean over and nibble the hell out of. But he told himself to take things slowly. He couldn’t risk anything going wrong this time.

  ‘Cheers, babe,’ he winked, bringing his glass closer to hers.

  ‘Cheers,’ she said, her eyes meeting his with a naughty twinkle – a twinkle he was pretty sure told him he was going to get what he wanted.

  And it was about time. Ever since he’d been caught boning Gloria and Lola had caused such a big fuss, Sharonne had been avoiding him as if he were a leper. It hadn’t bothered him at first, especially not when he’d met that hot-as-hell dancer Kitty. But then that interfering fag Harvey had stepped in to pour cold water all over that one and ever since he’d felt like everyone on the tour was turning against him. Of course, he couldn’t give less of a fuck about Lola and Gloria. But now Kitty had poisoned the other female dancers against him and the three of them were making him feel about as welcome in rehearsals as a pork chop in a synagogue. Well, he’d had enough and now he was ready to fight back. And he couldn’t think of any better place to start than right here in his hotel Jacuzzi with Sharonne. He took a sip of champagne and felt the bubbles froth in his nostrils. So many bubbles, he thought. And hopefully we’ll be creating a few more soon . . .

  After just half a glass of champagne he was starting to feel seriously horny. He slid his way through the water and put his glass down on the side next to her. He leaned in to kiss her temple and felt her eyelashes flickering shut against his chin. He began softly nibbling his way down her cheek and towards the edge of her mouth. And then he stopped. She gave a little whimper and put down her glass.

  Looks like good old Jakey boy’s back in business.

  He seized the moment and moved in to kiss her lips, gently parting them to slip in his tongue, as under the water the bubbles bounced around his now rock-solid cock.

  He had to admit, Sharonne had it all going on and she was one of the best-looking chicks he’d ever screwed. He’d first wanted to bang her back in Berlin, but on that occasion Lola had managed to distract him with a well-timed hand-job. Not that it had distracted him for long. No, he’d just waited a few days till they were in Stockholm and Lola had gone out with Gloria and the other girls, winding up so drunk sh
e’d fallen downstairs outside some club. In all the fuss afterwards she hadn’t thought to ask what he’d been up to – or worked out that he’d spent the night boning Sharonne in the hotel sauna. Well, the Swedes were famous for their love of saunas. He’d only wanted to find out if they’d get his balls swinging too . . .

  And boy, had Sharonne got his balls swinging that night. So much, in fact, that he’d gone back for more several times afterwards – in Amsterdam, Rome, Madrid, Barcelona and then back in London. And yeah, Lola might have had her suspicions that something was going on, snapping at the two of them whenever they so much as said hello to each other, but thankfully she had no proof and he’d managed to convince her she was just being paranoid. He dreaded to think what would have happened if she’d found out he’d been banging both her backing singers. She’d whipped up enough drama about him screwing one of them.

  ‘Hold on a minute,’ Sharonne panted, pulling back. ‘I really don’t want to get my hair wet.’

  Is she fucking serious? We’re in a fucking hot tub!

  ‘OK babe,’ he managed, mustering up a mischievous smile, ‘I promise not to push you under.’

  He moved back in to kiss her but could tell there was still something holding her back. ‘What is it? Is everything all right?’

  She pulled back again and this time cupped his head in her hands. ‘Actually, I really shouldn’t be doing this. I’ve got a boyfriend now – and he’s very possessive.’

  Is that all? Like I give a shit about some dumb-ass boyfriend.

  ‘Well, I won’t tell him if you won’t,’ Jake breathed into her ear as he ran his fingers down her arm.

  ‘Yeah but there’s something—’

  He put his mouth to her lips. ‘Sssh. Don’t worry about it, babe.’

  Your boyfriend, your problem.

  ‘No but he’s—’

  ‘Oh knock it off, babe. Tonight’s about me and you. And you know how good we are together. Don’t you remember the first time we hooked up in Stockholm?’

  She giggled and he could feel her body start to give way. Her mouth gradually opened and she returned his kisses with a new passion. He spotted his chance and moved his hand down under the water to stroke the insides of her thighs until she began to part her legs.

  ‘Oh Jake, I . . . I . . .’

  ‘Yeah?’ he teased, sliding his body into the gap between her legs and tickling her tongue with his. ‘Yeah?’

  But she didn’t reply. As he felt the last remnants of resistance leave her body he spotted his chance, nudged the tip of his dick onto her pussy and eased himself into her. Man, that feels good.

  He listened to the jolt of pleasure catch in her throat and knew the last thing she was thinking about was her boyfriend.

  Whoever the fuck he is, he sure ain’t her boyfriend now.

  *

  The following morning, Freddy arrived at the aircraft hangar where Lola and her team were holding the last day of rehearsals. He was due to meet Barbara Bullock to run through the logistical details of their shoot and had been told by security he needed to walk down a long corridor bordering the main rehearsal space to find her. As he opened the door and stepped inside, all he could think was he hoped he wouldn’t bump into Lola. He reassured himself that was hardly likely with her being in the middle of a dress rehearsal.

  ‘Freddy!’

  A familiar south London accent stopped him in his tracks. No, it can’t be.

  ‘Freddy, is that you?’

  Lola froze to the spot. She’d had no idea Freddy was going to be visiting rehearsals today and couldn’t believe she’d just bumped into him.

  He turned around and the two of them stood staring at each other from opposite ends of the corridor.

  Oh no, he thought, how am I supposed to face her knowing the trick I’m going to pull tomorrow?

  Oh no, she thought, how am I supposed to face him knowing how much I’ve messed him around?

  ‘It is you!’ she called out, hoping she looked pleased to see him.

  ‘Yep, it’s me all right,’ Freddy replied, hoping she couldn’t read the dread on his face.

  As she walked over to him, he saw she was dressed in some kind of suit of armour.

  ‘Hiya.’

  ‘All right?’

  There was an awkward moment when neither of them was sure whether to hug or kiss each other. They ended up doing neither.

  ‘Sorry,’ Lola said, gesturing to her armour. ‘It kind of gets in the way a bit.’

  ‘Oh, that’s fine,’ Freddy said. ‘Don’t worry about it.’

  Well, she’s obviously looking for an excuse not to kiss me, he thought.

  Well, he’s blatantly relieved he doesn’t have to touch me, she thought.

  ‘What is it, anyway?’ he asked.

  Lola flashed him a weak smile. ‘I’m supposed to be Joan of Arc. Can’t you tell?’

  ‘Oh, right, yeah.’

  There was a silence.

  ‘So what brings you here then?’ she asked.

  Freddy didn’t want her to think he was hanging around like some lovesick loser on the off chance he’d bump into her. ‘Oh, work, you know. I’m here to see Barbara to plan tomorrow. My producer’s gone to the O2 to do a tech recce. We’re going to be filming backstage, like.’

  ‘Oh, yeah, of course.’ Lola tried not to look too disappointed; part of her hoped he might have arranged to come here hoping he’d bump into her.

  ‘So are you doing your dress rehearsal then?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah, we’re running through the show twice. I’m just nipping back to my dressing room to make a quick call while they fix a problem with the sound.’ Well, I don’t want to put him off by telling him I’m going to the bogs for a piss. Not that it would matter in the slightest; he’d obviously gone right off her already.

  ‘And, urm, how’s it going?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah, it’s, urm, it’s great thanks.’

  There was another pause. Freddy tucked his hands under his armpits. Lola began fiddling with the collar on her costume. In the distance a pair of half-naked dancers clattered across the corridor on roller skates, the sound of their wheels on the tiled floor echoing in the silence behind them.

  This is awful, thought Lola, thinking back to the way she’d knocked him back in a press interview. I messed him around so badly he blatantly can’t stand the sight of me. She felt so guilty she just wanted the conversation to be over.

  This is excruciating, thought Freddy, thinking forward to what he was about to do to her tomorrow. She won’t be able to stand the sight of me once I’ve done my report. He hoped she couldn’t sense his guilt and just wanted the conversation to be over.

  ‘So how’ve you been?’ he asked, finally breaking the silence.

  ‘Oh, you know, up and down. But work’s been keeping me busy.’

  Yeah, he thought, she obviously hasn’t found the slightest moment to think about me.

  ‘Me too,’ he found himself saying. ‘It’s been non-stop lately.’

  Oh, she thought, he doesn’t seem remotely bothered about me.

  ‘Yeah, well, don’t let me keep you,’ Lola said, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she realized she didn’t actually want to say them.

  ‘No, I, urm, I’d better be going.’ Better be going? He was actually early.

  At that moment, more than anything else, Lola wanted to say sorry, to apologize to Freddy for messing him around. But his tone was curt and businesslike so she didn’t think he’d appreciate it. Instead she kept quiet.

  At that moment, more than anything else, Freddy wished there was some way he could apologize to Lola for what he was about to do. But her tone was stand-offish and anyway, he could hardly blow his story the day before it broke.

  ‘Well, yeah, urm, good luck,’ he mouthed.

  ‘Yeah, thanks. Maybe I’ll look out for you backstage.’

  They stood facing each other and did their best to smile.

  As he looked into her eyes, F
reddy remembered her impish expression when they’d first met and she’d told him he was much more handsome than he looked on the telly. There had been something between them, he hadn’t imagined it. And even though it had all soured since then, he found himself realizing he didn’t want to say goodbye. But there was no point; the situation was impossible.

  As she looked him in the eye, Lola remembered his bashful expression on the set of the Tramp video when he’d called her fit and then quickly corrected himself to say she was pretty. There had been something between them and she’d been stupid to let it slip away. And even though it had all gone wrong since then, part of her realized she didn’t want to say goodbye to him now. But she’d blown it – and it was impossible.

  ‘Bye, Freddy.’

  ‘See you, Lola.’

  Their eyes lingered on each other and neither of them moved away.

  Lola felt like she was lying in the bath, sinking down into the water as the world became distorted and unreal around her. Go on, darlin’, don’t let him slip away a second time!

  Freddy felt like he’d just pulled the plug out of the bath and the water was seeping out and draining away around him. Go on, champ, give her a chance and tell her how you feel!

  But something stopped them both.

  They turned away and sloped off in opposite directions.

  *

  Later that evening, Gloria sipped hot honey and lemon as she recovered from a day of dress rehearsals. She’d just put Chanelle to bed and was sitting at the kitchen table next to her brother. Clinton was the baby of the family and had grown up slightly in awe of his big sister, despite their mother constantly putting her down. And even though Gloria’s solo career had flopped, she knew he still thought of her as a star, especially now that he hung around with a crowd of computer geeks who didn’t know the first thing about the music business – and were shocked at the very idea of taking drugs. As she could tell he was as he sat in front of his laptop watching the footage of Lola snorting coke.